How to Think a New Thought [Ep. 92]

Transcript

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This is the eat well.

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Well live well podcast.

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I'm Lisa Saulsberry and this is episode 92.

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How to think new thoughts.

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Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food.

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I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury.

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I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter.

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I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating.

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Welcome back to the podcast.

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I'm delighted.

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You've tuned in today.

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I have a quick solo episode for you today about how to think new thoughts.

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If you are a student of the model that I teach, or rather the self-coaching model as taught by Brooke Castillo of the life coaching school, you know, that our thoughts create our feelings, which drive our actions and produce our results.

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I've got a few in-depth episodes specifically about the model.

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So I will link those in the show notes.

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Be sure to listen.

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If this is a new concept for you.

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When we look at our models, specifically, our unintentional ones, we are looking at thoughts that seem just to be happening to us.

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Or sometimes we are looking at thoughts that we just always think they're sort of automatic.

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We always think that if they're brownies on the counter, we have to eat them.

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It's a habit thought.

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But in order to create a future we've never created before.

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We have to create thoughts.

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We've never thought before.

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So when you notice a thought that is not serving the future you, you want to create or that you just don't want to think anymore.

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Sometimes you want to get rid of it right away.

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You want to make that change and make it today?

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How do you do that?

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Okay.

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First, you need to find a thought that you believe that feels better to you.

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Um, I do want to give a little caveat here.

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This is assuming that the original thought we are trying to stop thinking.

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Has been processed.

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And what I mean by this is that you have noticed the emotion.

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You've let it pass through the body without judgment.

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We want to be careful that we aren't just thought swapping in order to push down a negative emotion.

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So with this tool, with the things I'm going to teach you about how to think a new thought, we're not trying to do this with highly traumatic thoughts.

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We're not trying to do this with.

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Thoughts that are causing deep, deep pain, but that are more like the kinds of thoughts that are annoying.

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The ones that are driving us to overeat the ones that are, like I said, the example at the beginning, if there's brownies on the counter and you think, well, I just have to eat them.

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I have no choice.

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Those are the kinds of thoughts that we can use these tools on.

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I want to be careful that we're not just, like I said, thought swapping.

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We want to be sure that emotions have been processed, that we've let them pass through the body Without judgment.

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So, if you do need to process an emotion, if it's a fairly severe emotion or strong, rather that you do that work, even that for just 90 seconds, most emotions can be processed in 90 seconds.

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You feel the emotion, you name it.

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You notice where it is in the body and you found that thought that caused it.

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Again, I'll link an episode here, it's called how to feel better.

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And it's all about our feelings and how to feel our emotions.

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So I'm going to assume with this tool that you've done that work or that these thoughts are.

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They kinds of thoughts that are just annoying and niggling and just kind of in our brains that we can't kind of shake loose, not the kind of thoughts that are very, very traumatic.

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Okay.

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So.

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We're like, okay.

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I'd rather not keep thinking that thought that's kind of the root of this too.

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I, I just, what do I want to make my superhighway thought in this situation, in the future, we want to be.

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Kind of focusing on what do I want my automatic thought to be here?

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Because thoughts, we continue to think reinforce that neuron connectivity.

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And they are easier to think then the new thought.

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So what we want to do is be practicing the new thought.

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Over and over and over and increase that, that neuron connectivity.

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And this is all back to the neuroplasticity of the brain.

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And so we can create new super highways until thoughts are automatic in a different direction.

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So the key here is practicing.

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We have to practice thinking the new thought.

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Your brain believes the new thought is true.

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That's the ideal, but it just forgets to think it sometimes.

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So we have to practice thinking the new thought to make it the go-to thought this works well for a thought we want to think.

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And that is true for us right now.

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A good example I use as a coach is I have valuable content I can offer for free.

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I believe this thought right now.

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And I want to think it sometimes I just forget to think it, sometimes I wallow in, I don't have anything good to say, and I can't possibly think of another podcast episode to put out.

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Right.

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But when I do think it, I feel motivation and confidence and I use that to fuel the action.

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Of publishing this podcast and posting on social media and sending emails, et cetera.

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But sometimes the thought you want to think is not available to you yet because your brain rejects it.

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It believes it's very, very untrue.

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So in the same vein, this might be a thought for me.

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Like I publish a podcast with millions of downloads, sort of that aspirational thing.

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Well, my brain immediately is going to reject that because I don't yet have millions of downloads and my brain doesn't yet see a way to make this true.

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It doesn't end up being helpful to think this aspirational thought that is untrue to you right now.

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Because your brain fights it.

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Here's another example for body image.

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If you think.

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I hate my body.

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It's so disgusting or so, whatever, fill in the blank.

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And I offer that you should think I love my body.

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It's so beautiful.

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Your brain will immediately reject this thought as untrue.

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It will treat that thought as a false hood.

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As if I suggested that you think something like the sky is red.

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But ultimately, you kind of want to think that thought, right?

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You want to love your body.

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You want to believe that it is beautiful.

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This is a thought you believe will serve you.

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And it for sure feels better than loathing your body.

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Right.

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So how do we start thinking these thoughts that are not yet believable to our brains?

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Here's the tool it's called bridges and ladders.

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We bridge and ladder these thoughts.

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So we're going to start with the bridges first, if you want to bridge your thought, you add some qualifiers to the beginning of the thought.

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I'm learning that.

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I'm becoming a person who.

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It's possible that you can even just add maybe.

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And then fill in the blank.

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So in action, it looks like these thoughts.

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I'm learning that my body is beautiful.

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I'm becoming a person who loves my body.

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It's possible that I can love this vessel for my soul.

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I also want to say that I think all bodies are beautiful and you don't need to meet some beauty standard by the way.

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To have this be your thought, just, just as I note there.

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These thoughts help you get from your current unintentional model.

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To a intentional model.

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It's hard to say those on the podcast when you're just listening to, they kind of sound the same.

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But when you open up your brain to just the possibility of these thoughts, it automatically starts seeking evidence to prove the thought true.

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Your brain just loves being right.

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And so it wants to seek evidence for these thoughts.

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The other reason I love, love, love these bridge thoughts is because they automatically put you in a place of curiosity.

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Curiosity is the beginning of self-love.

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Just getting curious, gets us out of judgment and opens you up to possibilities.

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It's one of my favorite all time emotions to cultivate and practice.

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In fact, I call them the big, the big CS or the, the three CS, curiosity, commitment and confidence.

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Those are my three favorite emotions someday.

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I'll do a podcast on those three emotions.

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Another way you can practice a bridge is if you haven't yet come up with an intentional thought, you like yet, like how I said, it's possible.

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I'm becoming a person who loves their body because we have this intentional thought of, I love my body.

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If you haven't come up, come up with that intentional thought yet.

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You can bridge the unintentional one like this.

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If you're thinking my thighs look ridiculous in these shorts, you can just add on.

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But I won't always think that.

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This addendum after you've already thought the negative thought sort of turns the volume down on it.

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If you just softly say yes.

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But I won't always think that.

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You are able then to open up to what else you might think.

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You can also try adding and that's okay.

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This one works, especially.

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Well, if you feel like there's some sort of failure or shortcoming you're battling such as an overeat, your brain is like, oh, I overate again.

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And then you gently add on, but that's okay.

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It's okay.

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And I'm okay.

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This puts you straight on the road to self forgiveness instead of heading down our usual road of self-loathing you're like, yep.

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Okay.

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I did overeat and my body will feel uncomfortable for a while.

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And it's okay.

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I am noticing it now.

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And that's the first step.

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Just offering yourself.

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That's okay.

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Really eases up on the self-loathing and if that's all you've got in that moment, that's a great bridge into self-compassion.

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Thinking I won't always, and that's okay.

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After our intentional thoughts can also lead you straight into the intentional thought.

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You want to think.

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Because you don't get stuck in that blame and shame, like you normally would.

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Remember that when you overeat or yell at your kids or forget your friend's birthday, it does no good to punch yourself in the face mentally about it.

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You're already feeling bad.

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And especially if it's an over eat or something physical, you might already be feeling physically uncomfortable.

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Let's not add the blame and shame on top of that and make ourselves mentally uncomfortable.

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These bridges really work well in the moment of these thoughts.

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if you want to practice thoughts intentionally, and I do love this practice then.

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You might also want to create some ladder thoughts.

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These go in a stair-step fashion and don't have any addendums on them.

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They are intentional thoughts that ease you out of the negative thought pattern that you might be stuck in.

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So these are the kinds of thoughts that you might write on a sticky note and carry in your pocket to kind of pull out and check every couple hours.

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These are also the kind of thoughts you might put as reminders on your phone to come up three times a day.

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So you just read them and you just mark it as done.

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And then it comes up again in a couple hours.

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As each one becomes more ingrained than you ladder up to the next one.

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So you might spend a week or two, just practicing thinking the first one before you climb the next rung up to the next thought.

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So let me give you an example.

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So this makes more sense.

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If your automatic thought we'll stick with body image here.

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If your automatic thought is I hate my body.

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The first rung of the ladder you might want to think is I have a human body.

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We're just going to neutralize the hate, right?

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Once that one is automatic.

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When you see your body, when you feel your body, when you notice things, you just think I have a human body.

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I have a human body.

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This is the way humans are.

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Once that is automatic, you could go then to human bodies, come in.

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All different shapes.

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Then the next rung on the ladder might be maybe my shape is worthy of love.

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Then I'm considering that my human body is lovable.

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Then maybe in a few weeks after you've practiced those, you get to my body is lovable.

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And finally.

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I love my body.

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You take as many steps as you need to get to that desired thought, you practice each thought on the ladder until it is believable.

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And let me say here too, you can actually combine the bridge and ladder thoughts if you're trying to get to the next rung and it is just not happening, you might also add a bridge.

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Like I did on that.

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Um, I think one of the earlier ones was maybe my shape is worthy of love.

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So I kind of gave an example of adding a bridge.

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It's possible that my human body is lovable.

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So you can add the bridges on to the ladder thought.

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So that's kind of a combination of these two tools.

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You may not need all of these steps.

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I think I gave you five.

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Your ladder might just have three or four rungs on it, depending on what the topic of your thought is.

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It's simply a tool to get to a thought that you want to believe, but is totally inaccessible to your brain.

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If the thought is fairly accessible, if you're like, I mean, I could see how that could possibly be true then probably a singular bridge will do it for you.

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If it's like way, way out of reach, you'll probably want to use the ladder and possibly both together.

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So, if you're working on models with yourself and you immediately reject the new thought you create.

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This is when you'll know you need a bridge or a ladder thought.

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And if you think the new thought might be absolutely impossible to believe.

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I would try believing it anyway.

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And we can bridge and ladder your way there and tell it becomes automatic.

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So don't just cross out that thought that you think you want to think don't just cross out, you know, As you're creating.

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So this is, this is when you're creating your intentional models.

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If you put thoughts in there where you're like, well, I'll never think that like give yourself a chance.

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That's what I mean, like try believing it anyway.

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Give yourself a chance.

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And use these tools.

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To work up to it.

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It's okay.

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If you don't believe it immediately and a hundred percent all the way right now, that's what this tool is for.

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I promise you can always learn to believe a thought that is useful to you.

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And this is one way you can do that.

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If you need some help finding some bridge or ladder thoughts, I would love to be the one to help you.

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I'd love to chat with you.

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I've got free strategy sessions You can book, those are phone calls that are 30 minutes or for the next couple of weeks, I'm also doing longer free food planning sessions that can be used to figure out exactly what you want to be eating to start losing weight.

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But we can also talk about exactly what you want to be thinking.

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To start losing weight as well.

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So the link to schedule those is in the show notes as always, thanks for listening and sharing the eat.

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Well think.

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Well live well podcast.