How to Stay Motivated with Allan Misner [Ep. 83]

Lisa: 0:00

This is the wellbeing. Well live well podcast. I'm Lisa Salisbury, and this is episode 83. How to stay motivated with Alan Meisner. So it was motivation. Something that you need to get started. Or is it a by-product from doing an action or doing the thing? My guest today, Alan Meisner helps us decode this and figure out the source of your motivation. We're also going to be discussing his five mindsets. That he has found may be holding you back. And how you can turn them into superpowers. Let's go. Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food. I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter. I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating. Welcome back to the eat well, think well, live well podcast. I'm delighted to have Alan Meisner here with me today. He is tuning in from Panama, which I think is so fun. So originally from the States, but lives there now with his wife and reached out to me. We're going to have a great conversation planned, but before we get into that, Alan, why don't you introduce yourself, tell people what you do and kind of a little bit about, about that.

Alan: 1:27

sure. Well, basically, the short of it is I'm an online health and fitness coach for people over the age of 40. What I found when I was struggling with my health issues, my fitness issues was it really wasn't at that time. Anybody talking about. Uh, if you went to a gym, they treated you like you were 20, they gave you the same workouts, did the same thing. They originally broke us. And then we went home, broke and in worse shape than when we started. So I realized that there was a missing element here that I didn't have. So I became my own coach. I went and got certified as a personal trainer. I did all the specialties. I thought I needed to fix myself, got myself fixed, and then realized that. That was still missing. So I decided I would start helping people. Uh, I got laid off from my corporate job in, uh, 2017. So I went ahead, I wrote a book called The Wellness Roadmap. Uh, I went full time into personal training online. Uh, coaching online because I told my wife I really didn't want to go back to corporate. Um, so we did a complete life pivot. Uh, since then I've been coaching online. I do the 40 plus fitness podcast. And, um, like I said, have an out, a book out and just really out there helping people and enjoying life.

Lisa: 2:45

Great. Well, that sounds delightful. I think most of my listeners are in that crowd. And if you're not, you will be soon. So I noticed that is really common in the gym. I go to all of the trainers are quite young and I appreciate it. I just wonder what they're doing with the older clients, but I haven't hired one of them. So I wouldn't be able to say with your health and fitness coaching, then seems like you probably do a lot on mindset as well. It's not just the exercises. What do you think is, you know, the biggest issue for people's mindset with exercise?

Alan: 3:24

Yeah, well, actually mindset is probably 90 percent of the problem for most of us, I think we all know that it's like, okay, well, I, I lack willpower resolutions, you know, well, I had one sure, but, you know, listening to this today, well, am I really living up to the resolution I made back January 1st? Answers probably, uh, not so much, uh, because that's just the norm, right? It's acceptable. Resolutions, willpower, those kind of things, they're, they're always lacking, and we almost accept them for being lacking. the words that we miss are commitment, And true motivation. And so that's where I find the disconnect is. So we spend most of our time, most of my time with my clients talking about why they do the things they do, not what they should be doing. Until we get to why we're doing what we're doing, we'll never get to what we should be doing in any kind of sustainable way.

Lisa: 4:19

Yeah. When I first started health coaching, I did not have my life coaching certification yet. I was just, I just was health coaching. And so I was primarily talking about food with my clients. And I got to the point and I thought, I'm going to ask them all this week. I had six at the time. I asked all of them. Do you need more help with what to eat or why you're eating? When you're not hungry. And every single one of them, said, it's the why. Why do I keep eating when I'm not hungry? And I think it's the same for exercise. It's the mindset. It is way less about what we're eating and why we're overeating that thing.

Alan: 4:57

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

Lisa: 4:59

Yeah. So lot of times people think I just, lack willpower, and they, I think a lot of people are like, well, I just need to get motivated and then I'll do the thing. But you say most of us get motivation wrong. So what do you mean by that?

Alan: 5:15

Okay. Well, that's the whole point. I'm going to sit here until I'm motivated or Monday is going to come along and then I'll be motivated. Uh, or, you know, January 1st will come along months from now and then I'll be motivated. Uh, it never comes or it does come and then it just doesn't stick around. So the reality is motivation is not something that just happens. Motivation is something we'd create. Through our own actions, we have to do something first to get motivated. And I know that sounds backwards. If you're used to the waiting for motivation to show up, but if you do something first, the motivation will come

Lisa: 5:59

Yeah, totally. Definitely from the action. And I think a lot of people think they just can create it with their thoughts. And if you are familiar with the model that I teach, I also believe that motivation comes with action. That motivation lands in the result line from your actions. So tell us more about that. Like how do you do the thing if you don't want to do the thing?

Alan: 6:20

exactly. So it's not so much that you do the thing is that you do something. Okay, so the way I want you to think about this is I want you to think about a grid. So there's four boxes, and so there's two columns and two rows. So on the left column, we have extrinsic or external factors that will help get us motivated. So a lot of people know they hire you and they now have a coach. And the coach helps hold them accountable, so they show up, they do the thing, they see results. What was the thing that they did? They hired a coach. And then the coach provided accountability, which helps keep them motivated. Okay, another way to do this is in the social level of this. So the bottom, Bro. Top row is leader coach. Bottom row of of extrinsic is joining a fitness group. It could be an online group like a Facebook group where everybody's kind of talking about fitness and keeping everybody accountable. It could be joining a spin class at your favorite gym. There's people there. There's social. They're there, you know, they're going to be there, you know, if you don't show up, they're going to know you didn't show up. And so as a result, you find yourself showing up more because you feel this accountability and this social connection to a group that's doing the thing you want to do. Again, accountability. So most of the extrinsic side of this model is built on accountability. Yes, in some cases, a coach can guide and support you. And yes, in many cases, the classes or the groups are going to provide some level of support, but it's mostly about accountability. That's what we mostly do these things for. So that's the extrinsic and that works. That works. It can work. But usually when people just do that, It's project based. So I work with the coach. I lose the weight. I quit the coach. I gain the weight. I work with a group. I'm in the group. I quit the group because maybe I move away or something happens. I stopped showing up. I gained back the weight. And so the changes you make a lot of times on the extrinsic side aren't permanent. Unless you do more. And that's where we move over to the intrinsic portion or the internal. And this is the harder part. So the other part was pretty easy. Pick up, pick up, email one of us and hire us as a coach. And you've got that extrinsic accountability starting day one. Now, the intrinsic stuff is a little harder. A little bit more intricate, but it's permanent. When you do it right, it's permanent. Now, the first one is on the leader level. That's self management. So, when you start becoming someone who self manages yourself, well, I should say self twice, but you self manage, then you are the one that gets your gym back together the night before. You set your alarm to get up 30 minutes earlier. You do meal prep on a weekend because you know you're going to be busy in the week. And if you come home and you're tired and you don't want to cook, you're going to call out to Grubhub or Uber Eats or whatever that's available in your area. Or you're going to go out to a restaurant. You're not going to cook if you're tired. So meal prep and things like that are the things that you're doing through self management, understanding yourself. To do the right things, but you have to do those things. You have to pack the gym bag. You have to put it by the door so you trip over it going out. You have to do the meal prep and have it available. And you have to put it in the microwave and push the number. Those things. So that's the, that's the self management. And it's intrinsic. And that's built on a model of self efficacy. Which is much more powerful than accountability. Now in the social area for self efficacy for the, Internal intrinsic is where we're going to talk about, uh, values and habits. So you'll hear someone that starts running. Now, when they first start running, they struggle. Maybe they join a run club to help keep them engaged. And then they get a little bit better. They do a few races and they're hit. The bug comes in. They, they're, they're like, they're hooked. So what do they start saying? I'm a runner.

Lisa: 10:37

Yeah,

Alan: 10:38

CrossFit does the same thing.

Lisa: 10:40

It becomes their identity.

Alan: 10:41

Yes. There you go. That's the word. Identity. So now this is part of their values. Okay. I'm a runner. It's my identity as a runner. So I socially identify as a runner and therefore I'm going to run. What do runners do? Runners run. So in a model of self efficacy, I have now, if I've pushed over to that portion from the extrinsic, I now have this intrinsic model of self management and identity that will then drive me to do the right things. Within the realms of what I just learned as a behavior. And so the best model, actually the best model is to fill, all four squares, all four quadrants of that map.

Lisa: 11:26

I was wondering if that was the case.

Alan: 11:29

well, because here, here's the thing. We, we can get ourselves in shape. We can be a runner. We can do all those things, but then invariably life happens. So my co host on the podcast. Uh, she's a runner. If you asked her, she identifies as a runner. She does ultra. She does marathon. She does stuff. However, she's going through an issue right now with her thyroid. We, we talk about this on the podcast, so I'm not sharing any personal medical information. She doesn't want me to share, but, uh, so she's struggling with her thyroid. Well, what's not something you do when you're struggling with something like a thyroid, you don't overstress your body. So here's a runner. that really can't run. Okay. So that presents a little bit of a dilemma from a values perspective. She needs to shift her mindset a little bit and say, okay, I can't run. What can I do? Okay. That's the self management. In some cases she may need a coach. In some cases she may need a social group. So Facebook that deal with thyroid issues so she can discuss her issues, particularly with other people who. Identified as exercisers, extensive, extreme exercisers, and how they dealt with it. And so, you, you really need to have foots, basically foots, because there's four. But you have to have your feet in all four quadrants if you really want to have a solid model going forward. And your goals are going to change as you age. Things are going to change in life that are going to put you in different situations. And you may find, I'm doing really, really well on my exercise. But I'm not doing so well on my nutrition. And so while I identify as a runner and I, you know, can self manage my exercise and I, maybe I had a coach at one time, maybe I need a coach again in the future and I have some social groups, you're, you're pretty solid for the exercise, but then you realize nutrition is the next thing you need to tackle. And because you're not necessarily self driven for nutrition, because a lot of runners are like, well, I can eat everything I want, right? Cause I'm running and now she's not running. Maybe a change to our nutrition is necessary. And if she's not able to do that on her own, we shift back over to the extrinsic, external. We hire a coach, we join some groups, we get that solid foundation of doing, and then we start self management, and then we make values. And so the values then could be, I'm someone who eats whole food. I eat organic. I eat locally sourced foods because I know those are the most nutritious best things for my body and I'm paying attention. So I have a good map model in my head and in my body of what serves me and I'm eating those things because that's what my self management says. And that's how I identify. I eat healthy things.

Lisa: 14:25

I love how you didn't say, your examples weren't like, I eat paleo or I'm a whole 30. Or like, I love how you're like, there's ways to identify as a. quote, healthy eater that don't have anything to do with the popular fad diet models out there. I saw a reel on Instagram and she, called out like, hey, protein girlies, blah, you know, this is what we eat. And I thought that's a really fun, like. I'm a person who prioritizes protein. I don't need to count macros. I don't need to be paleo or carnivore. I just prioritize protein. I'm a protein girly. And I thought that was a really cute, like identity, you know? So there's lots of ways you can identify in that way where you're self identifying, because it's easy to say I'm a runner, I'm a CrossFitter, but it's a little bit harder to identify on the healthy eating side without identifying with one of those. You know, so called

Alan: 15:21

It can be. And the reality of it is this, okay, the food companies are not dumb. They're actually marketing savvy and they know how to make food taste really, really good. And so you'll walk in and whatever the thing is, whatever it is. So we went through this with vegan. We went through this with low fat. We went through this with paleo. We went through this with keto. Guess what shows up? Cookies. Cookies, crackers, crisps, whatever you want to call them. All this stuff starts showing up and it's. whoever you identify as friendly. So keto friendly, paleo

Lisa: 15:57

Uh huh.

Alan: 15:58

It's still,

Lisa: 16:00

It's maddening.

Alan: 16:01

it's not real food, you know, and, and it's not, I mean, eating, eating real food can be a challenge. Uh, if you're traveling, things like that, you go into a restaurant, they're not used to serving real food because so few people eat real food.

Lisa: 16:16

Mm hmm.

Alan: 16:16

Um, but they have it, they have it on their menus. You just have to be selective. You know, like I wanted, I wanted some meat last night and I was like, okay, but I also want vegetables. And so if I wanted the meat, it was a cheeseburger. If I wanted the vegetables, it was a salad and they were both entrees. And so I was like, okay, how do I, and you know, of course the hamburgers, the bun and the fries and all that stuff. And the salad was, you know, it had a dressing, but I went through it. I'm like, okay. So I ordered the salad. And I ordered the burger. I didn't eat the bread. I didn't eat any of the fries. I had one fry, but, um, a little, but I had the burger. Patty with, you know, with lettuce and tomato and, uh, I think a little bit of mustard on it and the cheese. And then I had the salad, which was a nice Cobb salad. It actually even had a little bit of grilled chicken on it. So hindsight 2020, I probably should have just ordered, I would have just ordered a Cobb salad. So there's a challenge there, but I'm focused on what is real food, which in my definition is anything I can recognize. As an animal or plant or a by product of one of those, I don't eat a lot of cheese. I don't drink milk, but you know, as far as animal products and plant that's, that's on, that's on the menu all the time.

Lisa: 17:42

Yeah, I totally agree. I'm a big fan of, every meal should have protein, fiber, and fat. My favorite fibers usually are vegetables, but I do eat a lot of fruit as well. I don't know if you eat fruit, but that's one of my favorites ways to get

Alan: 17:57

I, I live, I live in Panama. Uh, so fruit,

Lisa: 18:02

They're really good fruit. So when we're thinking about mindsets, then some mindsets can definitely hold us back, especially those ones where we're just like kind of sitting around waiting for motivation, but other mindsets can be our superpower. So how do we turn a blockage into? A power. Mm

Alan: 18:25

thank you for asking that. So I, you know, I've worked with. Thousands of people over the eight years I've been coaching. Some of them really, really closely, some a little loose. But what I found is there's, there's actually five mindsets. Like I can put these into five different types. And I've gone through that process and said, okay, so when I meet a client now and I'll have a conversation with them and I started asking a few questions within a few minutes, I know, okay, this is someone who really gets inspired when they have big goals. But if they don't have any goals in front of them, like they just reached a goal. Sometimes they feel this letdown, and they stop doing the thing. And so that person really needs a beginning point and end point. They always need that big goal that they're moving towards. Okay, I call them an atlas, which is the paper atlas, which they don't even sell anymore, I don't think. Um, but, because everybody's got GPS. But I call them an atlas, meaning someone who wants to mark and know that they're progressing, so they see the end points. They get to the end point, like I want to be able to run, 10 K, uh, in this amount of time. So they're training for that 10 K and they run that 10 K and then they want to sign up for another race and that drives them on and on. So another one I call tires, and this is an individual who needs traction. So they get started and everything's cool, but then for one reason or another, something happens and they missed a couple workouts. Or they're not able to eat the way they want to. And all of a sudden, they're completely off the rails. You know, this is someone who will sit there and they'll turn a bad meal into a bad day, into a bad weekend, into a bad week, into a bad month. Um, so that's someone who has tires. They need traction. So this is someone who can, to have as a superpower, can kind of gamify it. So, having a streak and saying, okay. I want to drink more water. I know I need to drink more water. So what I'm going to do is on my calendar, paper calendar, I'm going to sit there and mark every day that I feel like I had enough water. Okay, and I'll look at my urine to see if it's the right color of yellow, and I'll, you know, so it's not like I'm going to drink eight, eight ounce glasses of water per day, but every day that I know I did drink a good amount of water and I felt satiated, not thirsty, then Um, then I did good. I'll mark my mark. Water. Done. I've had clients that did like little, uh, heart stickers. She did heart stickers on her calendar. I have another one now. She writes a green W on her calendar every day that she hits one of her, one of her goals for the day. And that just drives them. They love seeing that streak. Uh, they know they're on track. They keep it right. And so if they start to feel like they're sliding, they can always just look. I like look back. How many W's do you have this month? And there's 22 days or 21 days that have finished. How many W's are on your calendar? And what was it like before you started? And so that kind of keeps them going. It's like, I love, you know, they love, they need to see that. They need that attraction. Another one in, this is very common, uh, with potentially with really with, uh, caregiving women is there's all these obligations around them. So I gotta take that kid to soccer practice and this one to basketball, and this one's just getting out of diapers, so I gotta go maybe pump and get her ready, you know, so she'll have food to eat, uh, when I'm not around doing this other

Lisa: 21:47

clients in their older forties are taking their parents to the doctor, too.

Alan: 21:51

Exactly. Exactly. So it, you know, right. And that's the whole point. We're busy, busy, busy. We're taking care of everybody else, but we don't turn that to take care of ourselves. So I call those co pilots, meaning I'm in the car with a whole bunch of other people. And I feel like I just have to sit in the front and manage all of this and I'm not taking care of myself. So the superpower for that is you already have a built in support system. Do you remember when we talked about motivation? I talked about that peer group and the group stuff, that external stuff. If you were to tell the people in your life that you need their help, don't you think they would step up just as much as you would? So it's just telling kids that are a little bit older. That you need some time to go to do something or asking your spouse, it's like, look, would you get the kids through the bath time and ready for bed and I'm going to go downstairs into the basement and do my workout? I just need 45 minutes three times a week. Could you do that for me, please? Okay. And if, if, if you needed to, you could really just tell him why, why you're doing this. I want to be here for you. I want to be here for the kids. I want to be here for the eventual grandkids. And if I don't start taking care of myself now, I can't guarantee that that will happen. So your why and reason you're doing all this is for them, particularly if you're a co pilot style person. So your superpower is getting them on your side. I had one client, she was sitting there and she was. She was doing meal planning for the week for the whole family. Her daughter got involved in the conversation with her and said, look, well, we can, we can do these little breakfast bowl things that we can just warm up ourselves in the microwave mom. So just, we love those. So let's just cook a bunch of those on Sunday. And then we'll have them in the refrigerator and freezer, and we can just warm them up ourselves, and that'll free up some time for you to do something else. How brilliant is that? To teach your, to be teaching your kids about the value of nutrition, how important this is to them and to you, and then them to actually start helping you. Do this thing. That's huge.

Lisa: 24:02

Yeah. And also offloading other chores. I, I got to the point, my kids were a certain age and I started working more and I just said, okay, everyone, I'm done doing all your laundry. This is how to do laundry. Everyone is going to be in charge of their own and never look back.

Alan: 24:20

Pink underwear for everybody.

Lisa: 24:22

Yeah, right.

Alan: 24:24

My experience. Maybe not yours, but mine. With myself. When I first started doing my own laundry. I learned a lesson. Uh, but anyway, so then there's, there's two others and so one of them is what I call the, uh, the pedals. So this is someone who will see that cool new thing, cool new way to eat, the cool new exercise program, and they'll start doing it. They'll get a couple weeks in and they're not really seeing the results they thought they would because, you know, the video that they saw on the internet said Look at this guy, he lost 20 pounds in a month and I've been doing this for three weeks and I've only lost two, two less than you had before, but they won't see that. They're like, Oh, this doesn't work. I got to do something else. So they're constantly on the gas and the break gas and the break gas break. And then I know wondering, wondering why they don't get anywhere. Because they don't stick to anything just long enough to make it happen. So those are the ones when they sit back and finally realize, okay. I'm going to try something and this time I have to stick with it for six to eight weeks.

Lisa: 25:27

Really give it a go.

Alan: 25:28

yeah, give it a true go. This is not a three week thing. You know, most of the programs you'd buy like this might be 90 days, but you say, okay, I'm not going to do it. I'm not, I'm not going to commit to a whole 90 days, but I'm at least going to commit to six weeks and see what happens. And usually they'll get past the point and realize, yes, this is working, I can stick with it. Because almost all diets work and almost all diets fail. They fail because we don't stick to them. And there's reasons for that. Sometimes they're too Unsustainable and restrictive and other times it's just because we just didn't give it a good enough go. We got into the second weekend and now we're having martinis with our friends and having pizza. You're like, well, what happened there? You know, um, and, and so there's just, you know, this is sticking with it is that one. And then the fifth one is the windshield. Okay. So this is someone who they may have been really healthy and fit in the past. Or at least they remember themselves being in a certain way and now they see themselves as not that person, but they're really struggling because it's like, well, wait, I was an athlete. So I'll tell you this short story that happened to me. What I did was I bought the insanity workouts, that whole 90 day thing, bust your butt. Look like them kind of thing. I recorded all of it on my, on my computer. So I was ready to go when I was traveling. That's why I needed it. It was like, okay, no, no equipment. I can do this anywhere. Beautiful. So I did the benchmark workout of this thing. And I pushed my push yourself hard because you want to have a measurement against the next time that you do it. Uh, the next morning I could not even get out of bed. It hurt to lift my arms to grab my phone off the nightstand to call off sick because I was like, there's no way I can, I can even get to my truck to get to the office and I'm just not going to be any good. So I literally called in sick because I had the pain from delayed onset muscle soreness because I overdid it because I was thinking of the guy I was when I was 29 when I was in my. Early 40s. So a windshield person has to realize that the rearview mirror is not the direction they're going. They have to look forward and they have to say, okay, this is where I am today. And all I want to do is progress forward. So I was, I was messaging with the woman today, she emailed me and she's, way overweight. She knows it. She's really struggling. She has Hashimoto's, a lot of other issues going on. She really struggles to stay on her feet. to do anything. And so she's working to try to change some things about her lifestyle, which like, I really cannot work out. I can't be on my feet too long. She said, I do try. She's like, I'm up to about 3000 steps a day. That's about probably as far as I'm ever going to get. And again, this is what she's thinking. And I'm just thinking, I just, the comments I get back to her was look, you are where you are now. All you can do is just find that comfort zone and get just one little breath outside of it. Just an inch outside of your comfort zone and then come back. And then just another time, those gentle nudges just past that comfort zone so that you start moving forward. It's really hard for windshield people to accept a slower pace. They want it now. Where is it? I want it now. I'm not willing to work on this for years. It took you years to get where you are. It's not that it's going to take you as long to get back, but you're going to have to do it at a pace that's reasonable and right for yourself at that point in time. It's a really hard expectation to have, but once someone knows that, they know, okay, I do have physical limitations, but I can do something. They may have some problems, but you know, you have them and that can be your superpower because you can say, I'm going to consistently push myself right to the line and then I'm not going to let my ego take me over. I want to pull myself back and know that I did a good thing. So something that didn't feel like it should have been challenging, but was, and so I had one client. She told me when we first started, she said, I get winded walking out to my car to drive to work. She's like, I'm standing by the door of my car, breathing heavy, my heart's racing. I said, okay, so tomorrow, what I want you to do is when you get to your car, I want you to walk one lap around your car. She thought that was the silliest thing she'd ever heard. So we started asking her, how'd that go? And she said, it was hard, it was hard, but I did it. And then by the third or fourth day, she's like, you know, it's not so bad. I'm like, okay, two laps. Again, it sounds silly, but it put her right on the edge of her comfort zone just a little bit further. Within three weeks, she was walking around the neighborhood and didn't have a problem at all. Okay, she just had to find a way to get those gentle nudges of progression into her life. And as a windchill, once she started looking forward, Instead of looking backwards, because she used to be a Marine, you know, always a Marine, but she used to be in the Marines doing that stuff. And she hadn't been doing this stuff for a number of years. And so she couldn't look backwards, she had to look forward, she had to focus out of her windshield, or she just wouldn't get there. So I know probably a lot of the things that I've talked about resonate, you feel like, I know that person, that person's me.

Lisa: 31:09

I think especially maybe it was just because it was the last one, but I feel like I can think of a lot of clients that are in that windshield position. They're like, but I always used to, I, you know, was a marathoner or. You know, used to run after the kids and I see this even with my much, much older clients too, that, uh, you know, I have one that was trying to do like a chair yoga type class and she was like, well, I want to be able to just. Stand, stand up and work out. And I'm like, okay, but we're not there. We're not there yet. Like, let's just get good at the, at the chair movements, and then we'll gain more stability and core strength. And then we'll do a stand, you know,

Alan: 31:52

Yeah, it's, it's good, it's, it's really good to want to be there. Because that's your windshield, that's in front of you. And so the point being is just understanding where you're starting from. And, you know, I could sit there and say, where I am in Panama, if I wanted to drive to Dallas, Texas, okay, well, I, I could want to be in, in Texas right now, but I'm not, I'm in Panama city, Panama. And so, you know, I got a lot of driving before I'm even into Texas.

Lisa: 32:21

Yeah.

Alan: 32:22

And so it's just that concept of where are you now and what's the next step. And it, you know, it's, it's definitely not Panama. There's a few countries between here and there. That I got to get through first, but it's that next thing, cross that next one, cross that next one. And you're, you're moving and eventually, yes, you're going to be into Mexico and then you're going to be approaching the country line. And then yes, you're going to be in Texas and you still got a long drive. Cause Dallas is a long way from Houston,

Lisa: 32:50

Texas is huge.

Alan: 32:52

you know, but the whole point is just, just realizing the go forward. And so, and, and you can have more than one of these mindsets, it's just typically one of them is going to be dominant. So one of them is going to be the wind main thing, holding you back now. And as soon as you get through that and you get stable and you're moving forward, you might notice the next one. So for me, the first thing was windshield. I was the super athlete. Growing up in my teens, you know, played four sports in high school, lettered in most of the sports I ever played, was voted best on, you know, first team, all this and that, uh, into the army and the military. I was an infantry soldier in the, in a ranger unit, keeping up with the rangers. so there was that, you know, all that stuff that was really hard stuff that I could do. I ran ultra marathons in my twenties. That's who I was and here I was in my early 40s and I wasn't that guy anymore, not even close. So I had to get past the windshield. I had to start looking out the windshield with where I am now and where I want to go. Then, then I ran into the tires problem where I just, if I didn't have traction, I would quit. You know, life was busy and all these things going on and so I'd get going and I'd take a couple days off that became a week off that became a month off and so I couldn't get the traction so I knew, okay, I got to get the traction. I got to start doing stuff that I can see the progress. So I started keeping journals, writing everything down and doing all the, doing all that just to know, okay, here's progress. You know, like I've driven across Colorado before and because of the way Colorado is flat and straight. You're moving at a hundred miles an hour, but you feel like you're sitting still. You're looking at the mountains and they aren't moving. The road looks the same. The only way you know you're moving is you have those little mile markers flipping by every mile. And if you're going a hundred, that's more than one a minute. So you're seeing those mile marker, the numbers are changing. That's sometimes where a tires person needs to see, see the numbers changing, see themselves progressing, seeing themselves being consistent. And when, and so I got past that and then I realized, okay, unless I have a big goal in front of me. I'm not gonna push myself. So that's when I realized, okay, now I'm, I'm in the age of Atlas for me. And that's when I signed up for a Tough Mudder with my 20 year old crossfit daughter. And for those that don't know, a cross, a Tough Mudder is a 12 to 13 mile mud run. So it's not just on, but it's with, with an obstacle course, Of 25 obstacles and my daughter was into that kind of stuff and when I came to realize that's one of the main reason I had reasons I changed was I was becoming a spectator in my daughter's life. I wasn't capable of doing the things she was doing and I never wanted to be a spectator. I wanted to be a participant. So I went at all this with a very compelling commitment, a very compelling why to change who I was. And then I battled through those mindsets and I came to understand what motivation was that I had to do to get, and I started doing those things. And what I was allowed to do, I say allowed because it, you know, it was, it was a miracle. I trained, I lost a ton of weight. And then I participated in that Tough Mudder with my daughter, did not want to slow her down a bit. I wanted her to run her race as hard as she could. And I wanted to keep up with her. And so crossing the finish line, holding her hand. And what was for us a record because the first time we ran it, but faster than people expected us to finish, you know, me being in my forties, her being in her twenties, you know, they didn't expect that a girl and an old man could be running across this finish line in three and a half hours. And I'm running across the finish line holding her hand and there's are moments that you just can't take away from me.

Lisa: 36:50

Yeah,

Alan: 36:51

Okay, I didn't just spectate. I wasn't just sitting in the stands watching my daughter finish a Tough Mudder. I Participated with my daughter doing that. So whatever you need to fire you up, whatever your why is, find it. It's usually the kids. It's usually the family. It's you wanting to be the caretaker. So all the things we talked about mindset, you can really kind of break it down and say, okay, well, why do I want to do this? Why is this important? It will help all those other things. It was like a accelerator, like. Just lifting it all up and saying, okay, I want to be able to do something amazing with my family. When I retire, I don't want to be sitting around in a rocking chair, watching my grandkids. I want to be on the floor playing with them, you know, when we go to the zoo, I don't want to be sitting on the bench. I want to be going and seeing the monkeys and the, and the zebras too, you know,

Lisa: 37:42

Yeah. My why statement is I want to be an influence for good with my grandchildren, and I don't have grandchildren yet, but the reason I chose that is because an influence for good means that I'm there. I'm there with them. It means I can grab my overnight bag, grab my suitcase, get on a plane by myself, go to where they are. And I think that's really critical because I know that they won't live close by me. Just I have four kids and none of them seem to want to live in California. That's okay. Um, but I won't, so being an influence for good also means that I'm going to be mentally sharp enough that I will be able to use what they're using. It's not going to be Snapchat. Because that will be old news by the time they're, you know, by the time they're teenagers, but I want to be mentally there that I will be able to keep up with the technology in order to talk to them in whatever way they like to be talked to technology wise. And so it's like twofold for me, which I think exercise really does keep us young as well. And keeping our bodies fit and keeps our minds also young and healthy. And so it's You know, it's choosing a statement like that, choosing a why that really helps you remember, it's not about the size of my thighs. That doesn't matter neither here nor there. I used to be, you know, very into taking before and after photos and before and after measurements and all of that. And I, I haven't taken a measurement in years.

Alan: 39:10

yeah. and and I, and I refuse, and I refuse to do that with, uh, with my clients. I don't, I don't tell them to make pictures. If you think it's going to help you and make you feel better. Then, Then, do it. Then do it. But I'm not gonna ask for it. I'm not gonna post it. I think the only testimonial post I have is from a friend, Dave, who lost nearly a hundred pounds. You know, cause I was giving him advice, and he was just following my advice, and he lost a hundred pounds. So he was really excited about it. He found a picture of himself from his before, and then his after. And it's amazing what, you know, what that little bit of effort did. but you know, looking at size, looking at all this stuff, none of that matters. What matters is that you're there for the people you care about. So if losing weight helps improve your health, then do that. If you're going to feel a lot better as a grandmother and you're going to have confidence and your grandchildren are going to see that confidence in you, then by all means pay a But don't go overboard. So with some clients, I will say, okay, you know, like, well, should I take measurements? Should I weigh myself? I'm like, no, but do you have a favorite pair of jeans that you don't wear much because they're too, they're too tight. And they're like, well, yeah, like, okay, pull those out, you know, pull those out and leave them where you can see them every day. And then soon you'll be wearing those jeans, you'll be rocking them. And if that boosts your confidence and you're able to spill that over onto people around you so they can feel confident and know that they have power over themselves, then do that. You know, for me, it was, it was, it was physical because my daughter was getting into physical stuff. But it goes even beyond that because I want to be independent for the rest of my life. I don't want people to have to take care of me. And so I saw this with my grandfather and I definitely don't want to be in this situation. Um, I want to be able to wipe my own butt when I'm 105. And it's, it's a funny statement, but there's a lot buried in that little statement. One implies I want to live and have a healthy life through 105. Okay, got to make changes, got to live a certain way to make that

Lisa: 41:24

that's a bigger goal than mine. I've always said 100, but wow, you're top of me at 105.

Alan: 41:29

but then I want to be independent and in good shape to be able to do that. So what is being able, you know, and you think about what are the fitness attributes that I've got to have to live to 100, to be that person? Well, I got to have sitting on the couch. I'll be watching Jeopardy and I got to go to the bathroom. So what do I have to do? I'm going to see the position. I got to stand up. I got to move rather quickly across the living room and into the bathroom. I've got to squat, do my business, have the dexterity and mobility and balance to reach around, do the thing, the paperwork, and then I got to be able to come back up off, stand up and turn around, flush, wash my hands. And leave the room. Okay. All of that's fitness. It's not fitness as you would think of it as like being a linebacker in the NFL, but it's fitness. It's fit for task. So I'm 105 years old and I'm able to take care of myself and be independent. No one else, my family is worrying about. Who I am and where I am in the world, what's going on, I'm able to take care of myself. Someone else isn't doing it. Heaven forbid. Um, so fit for a task is what you need now, like right now we own a bed and breakfast. So we have these bottles of water that come in. we order these five gallon bottles of water, you know, like the water cooler bottles, they weigh 44 pounds each. Okay. And so they arrived there on our front porch where we store them is about 40 feet away in the back of the house and every once in a while I have to take one up the stairs and then to the back of the house. So I have to be able to pick up these 40 pound bottles, go wherever I need to go, pick them up, put them into the thing, do the, you know, just manipulate them. that's not something maybe a lot of 58 year olds could do easily without hurting themselves, but I do it. Okay. And I'm going to need to keep doing it as long as we're running this bed and breakfast. So my fit for task is being able to pick up 44 pounds, stand up with it, walk around, flip it, do whatever I got to do, set it where I've got to set it. And that, uh, there are a lot of other things I do besides that. But that's kind of an idea of that's just daily life or who I am now and who I expect to be. For at least the short run, and I train people in person occasionally. So that's moving bars and plates and equipment around the gym to. Accommodate what I got to do there. So there's always something physical about what you, you know, it could be as simple as opening a pickle jar. Okay. You get a pickles, you buy pickles at the store. You want some pickles. It's time to eat some pickles. You can't open the pickle jar. You're there by yourself. Guess what you're not doing.

Lisa: 44:11

Eating

Alan: 44:11

You're not eating pickles. You're not eating pickles. So someone, someone else comes by that has better grip strength. They open the pickle jar for you, but you just lost independence. You're now dependent on someone else to open your pickle jars or you buy some little gadget that'll help for at least some time. But. You're not independent anymore. So it's, it's those simple little things that go away. we lose our independence, we now become dependent on others and tools and gadgets and things. And so that's where you see, and you see it, there's the rails and here, and there's that and there, and you know, the tubs you walk in and close the door and then run the water. Um, those are all signals. You're not physically where you need to be to live the life that you deserve to live.

Lisa: 44:59

Yep. And starting now, starting, it's never, it's never too early and it's also never too late to prepare for those, those years.

Alan: 45:08

That's, that's the beautiful thing about the human body. It's one of the most amazing things ever. I mean, you know, don't, I'm not, I'm not gonna get religious, but when you start thinking about the design of the human body, it is, it cannot be an accident, a, a machine effectively that can self. Repair and can improve itself. You stress it a little, you feed a little, you rest it a little, and it gets better. There, there's nothing like that. It's just, that's the most amazing thing when you realize what the human body is capable of. So no matter where you are, Whatever you're doing. If you have one breath left, you can do something to improve yourself.

Lisa: 45:53

Yep. I totally agree. It is an amazing, it's an amazing creation. And I think something that's been speaking to my clients a lot lately is that this body is the vessel for your soul. And so it is the thing that we want to take the best care of and just, you know, talk nicely to it.

Alan: 46:12

Absolutely. That's a whole nother conversation. I,

Lisa: 46:15

yes, it is. Well, thank you so much, Alan. It's been a pleasure having you here. Why don't you tell people where they can find you online since they're probably not most of my clients are not going to be coming down to Panama for in person training.

Alan: 46:27

yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, if you go to, you go to 40 plus fitness. com forward slash Lisa, that'll take you to a page I'm making specifically for, um, listeners on this podcast. And so I'll have links to different things like a quiz. So if you are wondering about the mindset, Type that you are right now. You can take a quiz. It's a quick, easy, free quiz for you to go through and kind of get some guidance on where you stand and what your superpower could be. Um, there's that. There'll be links to the podcast, links to the book, all of that. You just go to 40plusfitness.com/Lisa and that's a four zero and then spell out the plus P L U S and then fitness. com forward slash Lisa.

Lisa: 47:09

Perfect. And of course, we'll put that link in the show notes as well. All right. Well, thank you again.

Alan: 47:15

Thank you, Lisa.

Lisa: 47:16

If this episode has helped you in any way, all I ask is for you to share it. Share it with one friend or share it on your social media tag me. And I'll give you a shout out as well. I have been getting a lot of comments lately about how beneficial the free content is that I have been putting out in the world and sharing it can really help someone else. You can also leave a five star rating on apple and Spotify and review the show on apple podcasts. That also really makes it easier for other people to find it because apple loves that and then they push it out to more people. So your review actually helps other women. Have a great week and as always, thanks for listening to the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast.