How to Stop Waiting for Motivation [Ep. 143]

0:00 This is the Eat Well Think Well Live Well podcast. I am Lisa Salisbury and this is episode 143. How to Stop Waiting for Motivation. Welcome to eat well. Well, the podcast for busy women who want to lose weight without constantly counting, tracking, or stressing over every bite. I'm Lisa Salsbury, a certified health weight loss and life coach, and most importantly, a recovered chronic dieter here. You'll learn to listen to your body and uncover the reasons you're reaching for food. When you're not truly hungry, freeing you to focus on a healthier, more fulfilling approach to eating. Okay, friends, today we are going to talk about motivation.

0:41 And before I get into this episode, um, I really ought to be more motivated to get ahead on my podcast because I've been so sick the last couple days, so my voice is like a little off, but. I just really do my podcast week to week. So I don't have a backlog of episodes. I'm not like ahead by, um, you know, several weeks or anything. So when I'm sick it's just like record as is. So sorry if my voice is a little bit weird. Um, but specifically today we're gonna talk about the idea that motivation. It's supposed to come before action. Like that's what we always think, right? I gotta get motivated and then I'm gonna do the thing but we really need to flip that whole belief on its head.

1:23 Here's the common story that I hear. I just need to get motivated first, then I'll start planning my meals. Or if I could just get my motivation back, I'll totally be able to stick with walking. Or I'm just not feeling it lately and I don't wanna force myself. And ultimately it's like I wanna lose weight, but I just don't feel motivated. Does this sound familiar? I know this comes up in my brain, so you're not alone. But what if I told you that motivation doesn't need to be your starting point at all? What if it's actually the result or the reward that comes after you take the action?

2:04 That small shift in thinking can change everything because when you believe that motivation should be the fuel you spend so much time waiting, waiting to feel inspired, waiting for the right mood, waiting for the Monday, when you finally feel ready and all that waiting, that's what's keeping you stuck. So let's talk about why this happens and how to change it. I use, as you know, the self-coaching model in all of my coaching, it's the tool I use for myself and for all of my clients. And if you're new here, here's a super quick review. The model breaks down every situation in your life and divides it into these five categories, one right after another. So first comes the circumstance.

2:46 These are the facts of your life. They are neutral. Then comes the thoughts. These are the sentences in your head about those facts. The next line is feelings That comes from the thoughts that the feeling line is a singular word. You might also call this your emotion. Next is your actions, and that's what you are doing or not doing because of those feelings. And last is the result line, which is the outcome of your actions. Now, when we talk about motivation, we typically drop it right into the feeling line. I feel motivated, so I go work out, right? That's the action seems reasonable, right? After all, most of us would identify motivation as a feeling or an emotion.

3:31 But in reality, most of us are not feeling motivated before we take action. We often feel unmotivated, tired, frustrated, or even overwhelmed, and yet some days we still go on a walk or drink our water or eat that planned lunch. Why? How can that be? Have you ever had this happen to you? Because something else is fueling the action, not motivation. It might be determination or commitment or curiosity, but here's what happens. After you take that action, you feel proud, you feel successful. You feel like I can do this, and those thoughts.

4:12 That creates the motivation. So motivation doesn't need to be in the feeling line. It's almost always found at the end of the model in the result line. It's something you create by taking action, not something you need in order to act. So let's. Go with a real life example. Let's say it's 7:00 AM. You told yourself last night you'd go for a 15 minute walk this morning, but now you wake up and you don't feel like it. The bed is cozy. The motivation, it's nowhere to be found. So you tell yourself it's just 15 minutes. I don't have to run and I don't have to enjoy it. I just have to show up. And you do it, you walk. Maybe you listen to a podcast, Hey, maybe it's me.

4:54 Maybe you're listening to me. Maybe you grumble a little bit, but when you're done, you're thinking, I feel better. I'm glad I did that. I could probably do that again tomorrow. See what happened. You created motivation and that little spark is what helps you show up again. That's how momentum is built. Well, let's talk about now what happens when you wait for motivation? You wake up, you don't feel it, and your brain starts to say, maybe tomorrow it's not worth it. If I'm not excited, I'll wait until I'm really ready. But when you don't take any action, you also don't build any momentum, which means you're not getting that motivation in the result line.

5:37 It is like waiting for your fireplace to get hot before you put the wood in. It doesn't work like that. You put the wood in, you strike the match. The heat comes after. Just like I'm always saying, start with that small, doable action. Not a whole lifestyle overhaul, not a rigid plan. With 22 new rules, just one action plan, one meal. Walk around the block, drink one extra glass of water, go to bed at 15 minutes earlier, pause before one snack and ask, am I actually hungry? Then notice how you feel after you do it. That little spark of pride or satisfaction, that's the good stuff. That's the motivation showing up in your result line, and I get it, your brain might still tell you that it's not enough, that a 10 minute walk won't make a difference.

6:25 But as we know, small actions done consistently will do more for your health and weight. Then bursts of motivation followed by burnout. That's why I start my clients with a 24 hour plan, not because it's magic, not because it's even all that exciting, but because it teaches you to show up for yourself in small, simple ways that builds self-trust. And when you trust yourself to do what you say you'll do, motivation starts to follow. So if motivation isn't required at the start, what feelings do help you get moving? These are the ones we wanna generate with our thoughts. Rather than waiting for motivation or trying to generate motivation with our thoughts, we want to generate the the feelings that actually get us moving to take action.

7:13 So here's a few determination that would sound like I'm doing this for me. Commitment. This is probably my favorite one. I do this even when I don't want to, or I show up for me. Um, ano commitment. Also, you can also reference your future self in a lot of these commitment thoughts. Um, so if you have future self thoughts that, uh, you want to bring in that I will also generate the feeling of commitment. Curiosity is another favorite one of mine. You just can kind of put, I wonder in any of this, I wonder how I'll feel after I do this. I wonder how these vegetables will taste. I wonder what it would be like if I planned my meals. So curiosity is a great one.

7:55 Willingness. Um. That would sound like, I don't have to love this. I just have to be willing. It's a little, it's kind of similar to determination. In fact, when my kids don't wanna do something, especially when they were younger, like, you know, unload the dishwasher. I'm like, that's fine. You don't have to want to, you just have to do it. They didn't love that. I'll tell you, they didn't love that. But, um, that's kind of a thought that I use for myself. Like, I don't have to want to, I, I'm just gonna do it anyway. And persistence is another one. This might take time. And that's okay. Let it take the time and, uh, not be in a rush. And so just continuing to be persistent and saying it's okay for this to take time.

8:36 That will help you to take action and, you know, again, produce that motivation in the result line. I also love. Bridge thoughts. These are thoughts that help you believe something positive, even when you're not all the way there yet. So they sort of have like training wheels on your thoughts that you want to think, but your brain rejects them. So, um, let me explain this a different way. If you have a thought that's kind of like a mantra or something that you want to believe, like, I stick with things. I'm a person who sticks with things, but when you think that your brain is like, ha, no, no. No, you're not. Like it instantly rejects it. Then you want to put a bridge on it, a little training wheel. It's possible that I stick with things or I'm becoming a woman who keeps her promises to herself.

9:22 You can also just add maybe to a thought,'cause that helps you, um, you know, just stay curious and helps your brain start working on how it could be true. Maybe I don't need to feel ready, I just need to feel willing, maybe. These thoughts create emotions that lead to action, and that action leads to. Yep. Motivation. Alright, so what's keeping you stuck If you're like, I'm, I'm trying all these things, but what, what are the thoughts and the feelings getting in the way? these are the sneaky thoughts that lead to feelings that keep you stuck. The first one is always gonna be confusion. I don't know. I don't know what to eat. I don't know what workout to do.

10:03 I don't know where to start. Indecision is really similar. I'm not sure which is the best plan. Overwhelm. It's too much. I can't do all of it. Self-doubt. I always fail anyway, so why bother? That that's a motivation killer for sure. These emotions come from thoughts that are very real. We have them, we all do, but they obviously are not moving you forward. They're keeping you spinning. And here's the trick I. Your brain loves confusion and indecision, which sounds crazy, right? Who wants to be an indecision, but the reason that your brain actually, your lower brain that is loves this, is that it helps it avoid discomfort because if you make a decision and go do something new.

10:51 That's gonna be uncomfortable. So anytime you hear your brain start in with the, I don't know, thoughts, just remember, ah, that's just my brain trying to keep me out of discomfort and slowing down action. One of my mentors, Jody Moore, says, I don't know, as a thought, I don't know, is always a lie. And it really, really is. That is the big, the biggest one, just keeping you in confusion and in decision and truly. Like lack of information is just not our problem these days, right? Google Chat, GPT, all kinds of things. There's plenty of information. Sometimes we get into the information overload and that leads to the overwhelm, so of course we wanna kind of limit that.

11:34 But what I mean is it's not a lack of information that's keeping you from doing things. That's just our brain's way of keeping you. From doing things. So the antidote is just decide right now, just decide, act, observe, and adjust. So we decide on a food plan, even if it's just, I'm gonna eat exactly what I normally do, but written down ahead of time. You act on it. You notice how it goes. You notice what your brain does, what, what it's not gonna like, what it's gonna argue with, and then you adjust and you don't have to get it right. You just have to get in motion, So when you just decide, when you just decide, you know what?

12:15 I'm just going to try what Lisa suggests, and use the hunger scale and eat two bites less at every meal. I'm just going to try that. You just decide on that food plan and give it a try. Do the experiment on yourself. Try it for a whole month. Don't try it for a day. Try it for a long time, and. Act on that. Observe how it works and see if you are not creating more motivation. Here's what I wanna leave you with today. You don't need motivation to start. You just need a thought that creates one of those other emotions I mentioned commitment, determination, curiosity. And then take one action.

12:55 When you're feeling that those emotions, that action builds momentum, that momentum builds motivation, and suddenly your brain has evidence. I do this now I'm the kind of woman who shows up. So don't wait for motivation to appear. Go create it. You've got this and if you want some help figuring out your first step, you know, that's exactly what I do. So if this episode about motivation resonated with you and you are ready to make lasting changes in your health journey. I would love to help first book, a free consult session with me to see if my 12 week one-on-one coaching program is right for you. The scheduling link is in the show notes. I also have an awesome gift for you. Okay.

13:35 If you notice that you're overeating too many times in the week to hit your weight loss goals, this one is for you. It's a super short video course designed to help you know what to do when those overeats happen and help them come fewer and farther between I. This course is one I normally charge for, but you can get it at no charge with the link in the show notes. Remember, it's not just about the food, it's about empowering yourself with the choices that truly serve You. Have a great week and as always, thanks for listening and sharing the Eat Well Think Well Live Well podcast.