Thought Errors [Ep. 85]

this is the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast. I'm Lisa Salsbury. And this is episode 85. Thought errors. Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food. I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter. I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating. Hey there. Thanks for being here and tuning in to the podcast today. I am kind of getting to the point where I'm shocked that I'm still coming up with topics and things. I want to teach you. When I first started, I thought, well, we'll see how long I can keep this going. And now I'm like, there's so much to talk about. I don't think I'll ever stop so today we're going to chat about thought errors. I'm hoping I can continue to pronounce that correctly throughout. This episode because ever is kind of hard for me to say, When I first heard this concept, when I was going through the life, coach school training, I thought, well, that's down, there's no thought errors. There's only thoughts. And then how we react to them or looking at what they create. I also sort of put up a block on this thinking like you can't tell me what to think. I felt like this was, this term was like somehow telling me that there were true thoughts and not true thoughts. Which is actually not the case. Um, there, I also thought that there was something inherently wrong to these thoughts, like error meant to me that they w there was a wrong answer. And so I just thought, I just don't agree. I sort of dismissed this concept and thought. It's fine. I'm just not going to resonate with every concept taught here. But recently in the last several months, I actually started understanding this concept more fully and really started studying it and working on it with a client and. I am like loving it now. So I want to help you understand it as well, because I think it can be really useful. So, let me read you the definition that we use as coaches. Sot errors are thoughts that create unwanted desire and cause unwanted actions. It's not that these thoughts are inherently wrong. As I previously thought. They are just leading us down a feeling action path. That is not leading to a result that we want. Before we take a look at some examples of thought errors in our weight loss. Let's look at what isn't a thought error. So we know in the definition that it says it's unwanted desire, which means that sometimes we create wanted desire. So this makes me think of my friend, Amanda Lauder, who is a sex coach for Christian couples. And she was on the podcast a couple months ago. She is all about creating desire for sex. So her clients are creating desire, which leads to an action they want, which is sex with their partners. All desire then is not something that we want to avoid. So even desire for food could also not be an error when we are creating desire for the protein and fiber filled food. We have planned. I sometimes think about my protein oatmeal that I love during the last bit of my workout. And I think, oh yeah, that is going to taste so good when I'm done. And that creates some amount of desire for that food and sure enough, in the action line, I eat that. So, what would it look like to create unwanted desire? Creating unwanted desire leads to feeling like we are eating against our will, or that we are sort of end up feeling out of control around food. And then we are eating either foods. We don't really want to be eating like maybe the leftovers off our child's plate, or we just are plain over eating, eating beyond our comfortable fullness, that positive three on the hunger scale. This happens when we aren't really paying attention to, or thinking. And we find ourselves taking that second, helping nibbling off our partners, appetizer plate, or eating an unplanned dessert. Let's take a look at some thoughts that are examples of thought errors. My client that was really working on this actually came up with a list of 50. Wow. I mean, Like she really put in the work. She titled this list reasons I overeat. So if you want to think about this concept of thought errors with that phrasing reasons that you overeat that might help you too. So she did give me permission to use some of her examples. And so I'm going to read you some of those. Um, not all 50, not all 50, but, uh, here's a few I that I think you might relate to. I'm trying to avoid starting my next task. The food is going to go bad. If it doesn't get eaten. It's Friday slash Saturday or Sunday, brunch. A fake special occasion and she has that in quotes. I want to make the most of the opportunity to go out and be kid free. We're on vacation and I need to take advantage of it. I deserve in quotes, a treat for getting through a tough go. I've been so good with my eating for a few days or earlier in the day. Someone made it for me and it would be rude to skip it or turn it down. Other people are still eating. Do you resonate with any of these. I think these are so good. I tried to pick ones from her list. Like I said, that I think a lot of us are thinking or have that if there was one of those in particular that resonates. Do you feel some desire for food right now? Like, maybe you heard me say, I deserve a treat for getting through a tough go. And you're like, it has been a tough go yesterday was so hard. I do deserve a treat. And then do you feel that desire it's by the way, crazy about our thoughts, we can actually create the desire for food right now, even if you weren't hungry. Just with your thoughts. But let's imagine you're out to dinner with your partner and you're thinking I've got to make the most of this opportunity we're out and it's kid free. That is going to really ramp up your desire for all the things on the menu. Can you see how that thought is? Just not serving you? I think that's really at the core of the thought error concept. These thoughts are just not serving your ultimate desires for confidence, longevity, peace around food and weight loss. Continuing to think these thoughts and letting these thoughts be the primary ones. Is just making it harder for you to reach your goals. That's ultimately why we want to identify them and stop letting them live. Rent-free in your head. By the way, thought errors can also be super simple. I read you some of my clients from her experiences, but they can also sound like I want that. I deserve that that's going to taste amazing. I'll feel better if I eat that. So they don't have to be complicated or related to what you're doing. You can just be thinking, I want that and have this. Very strong desire. So, how do you get out? Of these thought error cycles. There's two things you're going to do. Number one. You're going to stop letting your lower brain. Or that toddler part of your brain make your food decisions. You've got to plan your food with your prefrontal cortex. If you think about your brain being in two parts, that upper brain, which is your prefrontal cortex, your human brain. And then your lower brain, which is like that in the moment, brain. This is also the part of the brain that all of our habits are delegated to. So that is the part of the brain that we often allow to make our food decisions. And that is also the part of the brain that these thought errors are coming from. The part of your brain, that is your higher human prefrontal cortex is the part that has your best interests in mind. This part should be in charge of all of your eating decisions until they become habits. Which, by the way, for example, that protein oatmeal, that I've referenced a couple of times, that is almost a habit. Cause I eat it almost every day. So I that's part of my go-to meals. I don't have to put that down on my plan. I don't have to plan that with my prefrontal cortex because it's a habit. So once you are in the habit of, you know, eating vegetables every day for lunch or some, some. Health habit that you are trying to implement, and you are planning that with your prefrontal cortex, once it becomes a habit, that's really amazing, right? When you have done it so many times. That it's down in to that habit part of your brain, but we are not there yet. And there's a lot of things that I am not there yet with either. So I still do a lot of planning. So, this is why my clients do a 24 hour practical plan each morning. They decide with their best brains. What they are going to eat today. Not their tired brain, not their after work brain. Not there after taking care of kids all day brain, not their celebration, brain, those brains that are thinking it's time to let loose. All of this is the part that is going to default to the habit. Thoughts. That are leading to the increased unwanted desire. So when we noticed that these thought errors coming in and we're feeling the unwanted to desire bubbling up. This is not the time to change the plan. This is the time to fall back on our commitment. Why did we make this plan? Okay. So we're at the restaurant and you're like, oh my gosh, I got to take advantage. We don't have the kids here. And so I can order whatever I want, but then you remember, oh yeah, I have a plan for this. Why did I make that plan? What was even the point. Why am I trying to change my eating habits? Let your brain remember your reasons for having made the plan? And then stay committed to the plan instead of listening to the thought error. Okay. But the first step is to make the plan. We have to make these food decisions with our higher brain. Okay. Now the next step is to allow the urge. When you and allow an urge or a craving, you're letting that desire exist in your body. And not rewarding it. I know that sounds like super hard and terrible. But bear with me here. Ultimately, this is an interruption of the model, The self-coaching model circumstance thought, feeling action result. Typically, we have a thought, but here we're talking about a thought error and it's like, I hardly ever get this thing. And then that creates that desire we've been talking about in the feeling line and then in the action line, normally we would eat the thing. But in this case, when we are allowing urges, we are going to interrupt the model. And allow or process in the action line. So we're not changing the thought because we've already had it. K. We can't go back in time and change, change the thought when we've already had it. We had that thought. Um, what was the thought that I used in this example? Oh, I hardly ever get this. We have this thought I hardly ever get this. And then instead of eating it, when we notice that increased desire, And you're like, wait, I have a plan. Then you allow the feeling instead of eating the thing, the action becomes allowing the feeling or processing. So there's a couple of ways you can do this. You can pretend you're describing the feeling of desire. To an alien. Okay. What does it feel like? Exactly. Someone who does not have a human body, you have to describe it to them. Where in the body are you feeling it? Is it moving fast or slow? Feelings. Remember our vibrations in the body. Whereas thoughts are sentences in the brain. The feelings exist in the body, in your human body, where that is, where you are having the emotional experience. So you can really describe that. Is it a tightness at the back of your throat where a pounding and the chest or a tingling down the arms. If you get really present with your body, even for just a few seconds. You can find that vibration and describe it. Sometimes for me. Urges feel like a pole. There is something pulling or stretching in certain parts of my body, usually in my chest. You might also think of describing this as if you are sitting across the room. Watching you experience it. So try and have like a slightly out of body experience you can think about watching yourself, feel this emotion. What does that look like? And then you're going to move toward the feeling. Move toward the vibration and be present with it again without rewarding. It. This is really important because so often we just want to shove it down. We want to just tell ourselves, stop feeling that, make it go away. But feeling it and identifying it and actually being present with it. We'll number one, lessen the drama about it. And number two will actually make it dissipate faster. Cravings and urges are simply something to process. They are not an emergency. Nothing has actually gone wrong. They happen. And you actually are totally capable of feeling them and moving through it without responding. I believe in you, you can do this. Practicing allowing urges like this. We'll make it become easier and easier. I know you wanted me to say practicing urges will make them not come as often. And that is the case as well. But mostly the more you practice moving through that urge. It will just become so easy to do it. That you'll think they're coming less often because you're like, oh yeah, there's a craving. No big deal. And it passes. If you find yourself having a lot of cravings or urges, though, there definitely is some food choice changes we could make to alter that. But I want you to get honest about what you were thinking when that desire came up. Identify it and see if it isn't a thought error. If it's a thought that is causing unwanted desire and leading to unwanted actions. Then you'll want to identify it and call it out as it is. Hey, that's a thought error. Just noticing it and labeling it as a thought error can actually go a long way to also helping you process that craving. You are reminding yourself that this is just an error. I'm thinking I deserve this cupcake, but what I really deserve is to sleep well tonight. And the sugar at this time of night is not actually going to help with that. And if you're really ambitious, like my client, then I would encourage you to keep a list. As you are noticing these, what are all the reasons that your brain gets you to overeat? These are your own personal thought errors. You might not resonate with any of the ones I shared today. You might have. Some that are altogether different. She also then went on to create counter thoughts for each thought error. For example. For the thought this food is going to go back. If it doesn't get eaten. Her counter thought to that is so I should buy less food then. I thought that was so true. She's like, oh, I guess I should buy less. That's good to know. I always have stuff in the pantry or freezer if we are running low. So smart, so smart for her to be like, Hey, there's no scarcity here. There's plenty of food. Number one, I guess that's a notice for me to buy less. Number two, there's plenty of food in the pantry. I can let this food go bad. That's a really, really great counter thought. Um, for this one it's a Friday, Saturday or a Sunday, brunch, this fake special occasion. She said Friday and Saturday are just other days in the week. There's nothing special about them. Every day counts. Uh, so good every day counts. You are important every day. Your goals are important every day. Your commitment is important every day. and for this, the one that we used here, I want to make the most of the opportunity to go out and be kid-free. She said, make the most of the opportunity by focusing on what's important. And ending the night feeling good about your choices and for you, there will be different things that are important than for her. Maybe it's important that you just connect with your partner. Maybe it's girls' night. And you're like, I haven't seen my girlfriends in a long time. Focus on what's important, which spoiler alert, probably going to be the people probably more important than what you're eating. As always. And, you know, end the night feeling like that was such a fun night and not thinking about I should have made different food choices. All right. Let me know if you need any help with this concept. One great way to make your decisions ahead of time. And to help you with those 24 hour plans is to create your own go-to meals. These are meals that are always on plan things that, you know, you like to make and eat. So grab that free guide. It's your go-to meals in the show notes. So you can get started creating your own. I give you some examples in there of mine just to get you started. And there's even the recipe for that protein oatmeal that I mentioned that I absolutely love. All right. Have a great week. And as always. Thanks for listening and sharing the eat well think, well, live wild podcast.