Motivation: Simple Changes for Big Results [Ep. 40]

This is the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast. I'm Lisa Salisbury. And my mission is to help women stop obsessing about everything they eat and feel confident. About their ability to lose weight without a diet app. This is episode 40, creating motivation, simple changes for big results.

Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food. I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter. I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating.

Today, I want to chat with you about motivation. Motivation is a feeling or an emotion. So if you follow my work specifically as a life coach, you know, I use the life coach school, self coaching model. So this is a thought model that basically divides up how you experience the world. It has five separate lines, and I'm going to go through those real quick in case you aren't familiar, but it's a good refresher, even if you are. So at the top, the first line you have is the circumstance. This represents. Just the facts of the world. So this is like the weather or day of the week, your address, meaning where you live. Your bank account balance. This is also other people's words, not their thoughts since we don't know those, but what they say out loud becomes your circumstance. Next in the model comes your thoughts. This has been the sentence that goes on in your brain in response to the circumstance. It's the meaning that we give as humans to what is happening in our world. Thoughts then create a cascade of chemicals that we call emotions. We feel emotions as a response to the thoughts we are having. They happen. So simultaneously it's hard to distinguish, which happens first, the thought or the emotion, but we do know. From cognitive behavioral theory, that thoughts do create the emotion. This thought feeling couplet then produces an action. So all our behaviors occur. Based on our thoughts and how we feel. Sometimes this is also inaction. So like procrastination or just remaining on the couch, that also goes in your action line. The last line of the model is the result. You'll find the more skilled you get at seeing your models in real life application. The more you'll see that the result is directly coordinated. with the thought line, not the circumstance. An easy example of this is my weight. That number is math. It's the gravitational pull on my body at the moment in time that I step on the scale. So it's data and it goes in the circumstance line. Then I have a thought about it. I feel an emotion which prompts me to behave in a certain way. And produces a result. My current weight is exactly the same as it was at various other times in my life. But I'm having drastically different results with regards to my body image and the way I treat my body, because I'm having different thoughts. When I see that exact same number. I think differently about that scale number, the exact same circumstance I was having. At other various times in my life, which gives me differing. And I have to say much better results now than when I was hating on my body because of the number I saw on the scale. So that's a quick review of the model. If you have questions on that, I do have full episodes on the model. And I think there's a freebie on that one. I'll link it in the show notes where you can get a worksheet with all of this explained out in writing. Now typically you would say, okay, motivation is a feeling. So it goes in that third line of the model, the feeling line. And I need to generate it then by having certain thoughts, because we can't do this, we can generate. Emotions that we desire to have by creating thoughts around them. You think the right thoughts and then you can Bruce produce the feeling of motivation and then you'll get off the couch and make the vegetables and drink the water and go to bed on time, et cetera, et cetera. And then the result is the health and wellness and the body weight that we desire. The problem here is that yes, we can do this. We can work on our thoughts for a long time. And practice the bridge thoughts to get us more motivation and yes. That can work. But for the most part, I would say. It doesn't. And the reason is because. I find the motivation shows up more often in the result line rather than the feeling line. We actually get motivated after we take the action. And no, this isn't a misinterpretation of the model. Feelings can actually be in the result line. The thing is that if you are feeling unmotivated, it's very difficult to just turn that off and think a different thought and feel the opposite way. You'll find motivation in your model to be much easier to generate as a result. Then as a feeling. So if you are trying to create more motivation in your life, This is the way is to create it as a result rather than up at the top of the model in that thought feeling couplet. So let's work through this. We have to take action to get motivation in the result line. Right? So for results at the bottom, and we're going backwards up the model action. Is the next is the step up. When you are first trying to generate motivation, we need to actually be pretty slow and steady about it. I think of it just like when you are changing the way you eat. You don't get lifetime results by overhauling your entire diet on a Monday morning. You get lifestyle change by making one tiny change at a time. Same with motivation in the result line. Then above that in the action line, we will see something really small. One 10 minute walk. One meal that you planned and then ate exactly as planned. One night, you went to bed early and actually got those eight hours of sleep. One extra glass of water every day for a week. And it doesn't have to be all of those. Just one of those small actions leads to more motivation in the result line. So continue to work up the model. What thought feeling combo is going to get you out on that walk? Or choosing the water over the soda. I find useful emotions here to be one of these determination. Persistence. Discipline. And curiosity. It is much easier to cultivate determination than motivation. I promise because the thoughts that lead to determination are just things like I can do this. I am capable. You can generate discipline with thoughts. Like I do this even when I don't want to. And that's the thing about these, these kinds of emotions, like determination or discipline. You just decide I'm going to do this, even though it stinks, even though it sucks, like I don't want to. But because we are falling back on our commitment. That's another useful emotion here. We fall back on our commitment. We fall back on our determination. Things where we just are doing it. Even when it's uncomfortable, motivation actually feels amazing determination or discipline. Doesn't actually feel super great. But it's okay. To be uncomfortable and then take the action. And then we get the result. We can generate persistence. It can come from thoughts. Like I'm becoming a person who walks 10,000 steps a day. Or I'm becoming a water drinker. So persistence actually can be from some of those bridge thoughts that we've used, like becoming thoughts. Curiosity though. Is probably my favorite useful emotion in this bunch of emotions. Curiosity. I can be generated with a lot of, I wonder statements. So things like, I wonder what would happen if I went to bed now, instead of watching another show. I wonder if taking a short walk would feel better than scrolling Instagram right now. I wonder if I would like a new vegetable. When we use, I wonder statements, it opens up the brain to the possibility and then it gets to work. Proving it. True. You can also use other bridge thoughts here to generate some curiosity. So I've mentioned that term a couple times a bridge thought is just something that we add to a thought we would like to think automatically. I'll stick with the walking. example that I've been using. So say you want to be someone who walks 10,000 steps a day. You can use the bridge it's possible in front of those kinds of thoughts. It's possible that I am a person who walks 10,000 steps a day. It's possible. I can take a 10 minute walk every day after lunch. You can also use, I'm becoming, I'm becoming a person who walks five miles a day. I am becoming a person who drinks. Lots of water. Imagine now if these thoughts were in your thought line. Traveling back down the model. You're feeling curiosity naturally, because these types of thoughts will produce that emotion with your brain. Your brain is like, oh, maybe, and it looks for ways to make it true. If you were using some of these other thoughts, you're feeling maybe determined, committed, capable. And these emotions aren't quite motivation. But as you take the action. You end up with motivation in your result line because your brain is like, oh yeah, here we are. Doing the thing, and maybe I could do the thing again. So when you get really curious about what if I could do this and then your brain sees you do it. Then you're like, oh wow, here we are. And if I did it once I might be able to do it again. And we feel a little bit motivated. When we see results in our life, when we see the result of, oh, Hey look, I did get up to 10,000 steps a day. Oh, Hey look, I do feel a little bit better. When I chose those vegetables. We get motivated to try it again. So on the flip side, I want to talk also about emotions that stop motivation, because that is also worth exploring. I think the primary stoppers, the ones that really put the brakes on motivation are indecision. Confusion, which are similar. And worry. I think this is also your brains sneaky way of keeping you at the status quo. If you don't know what to do, then you don't have to do anything different. This looks like, which workout is best. I don't know which protein I like cooking vegetables is confusing. Should I roast them? Should I saute them? Am I supposed to eat them raw? How much walking should I do? When would I even do it? What if I never change? A lot of these of course are questions. And typically when we're running a model, if you're very familiar with model. You said you don't leave a question in the thought line. You answer it. But these types of questions, don't often lead to productive answers. So when your brain is like, which workout is best. You're like, I better do some more research to find out because I might do the wrong one. That's the answer to a lot of this. I might do it wrong. And we've all had these thoughts. I've had them. I know they do not lead anywhere near motivation. So when you notice yourself in indecision or confusion, Over a food choice or a movement exercise choice. Honestly, just pick one. And then see what happens. Just making the decision leads to more determination and then motivation. In the long run, if you are trained things, Truly nothing is worse than inaction for motivation. And staying in confusion will always lead. To more confusion. And less action. There's very, very little action in a confusion model when confusion or indecision is in that feeling line. In your action line, you're going to see procrastination. You're going to see. procrast to working right where you're like doing a whole bunch of stuff, but not really accomplishing anything. This looks a lot, like a lot of research or I just need to research some more. A lot of consumption rather than creating anything. So none of those things lead to more motivation. So if you find yourself with a lot of, I don't know, thoughts, you can ask yourself a couple of things to get out of this. Number one, the easiest thing is. What would I do if I did know. Or I'll try one today and one tomorrow. Or literally just pick one. And see how you feel. If we are talking about which protein is best, or if you should walk in the morning or after lunch, I promise you can't go wrong. This is the crazy thing about our brains and these Confusing and indecisive thoughts. It offers us. There's really no reason for it. Other than to keep you stuck other than to keep you in a safe, what your brain thinks is a safe place. These are actually not life and death decisions. Well, I mean, actually I think exercise is the fountain of youth, especially for your brain. So maybe it is life in that if we do or decide not to exercise, but any movement is good. That's the thing. It doesn't really matter. I know I've had several experts on lately. Talking about actually, I've just been interviewing him. I haven't published them yet, but I've had a lot of people talking about weightlifting for women. And that, that is good. But if you are not a weightlifter, And you're like, I'm never going to lift weights. That's just not, for me. I'm a Walker. I'm a yoga person. Do that. Any movement? Is better than no movement. Any protein is good. Any meal plan can be good. Just make a plan and stick to it. And that's a great starting point. Speaking of meal plans. That's actually a great example for motivation though. So I always start my clients with creating their 24 hour plan. Very, very practically. What I mean by this is we start basically by planning what you are already eating. Just to get the hang of planning. Right. So we don't start planning and then plan this quote unquote perfect diet day. Um, by the way, we never get to that point because that doesn't exist. But what we do is we plan things that we're already currently eating. So I actually just had a client this morning. She said, well, currently we're doing dinner out every single night. I said, fine, continue doing that. Just maybe take a look at the menu, decide what you're having. And plant that. So we're eating exactly what you plan because it builds trust in yourself. As well as creates motivation because you are doing what you say you'll do. So we make it very easy. To do what you say you're going to do. If you have had a sandwich every day for lunch for the past three months. You should definitely plan a sandwich. We start basically by planning what you were already eating, just to get the hang of planning. And then eating exactly what you plan because it builds trust in yourself. As well as creates motivation because you are doing what you say, you'll do. Your brain is like, see what you did there. Maybe you could do it again. And we get those kinds of thoughts. The more you follow your plan. The more, you'll be motivated to follow your plan. And then you can start with small up levels. So you're planning a sandwich every day for lunch and a bag of chips. Your small Uplevel, maybe a sandwich and carrots on the side. Sperry small change, but the more you have practiced following your plan, the more likely. You will be like, oh, easy. The thing about motivation is that even as a result, It can be fleeting. We have to continue taking action time and time again. To keep it around. That's why I want you to start with very small actions. When you start with big giant actions, we fizzle out fast. And then use that as proof that we aren't good at things and never follow through. Right. Self criticism is another thing that will drive away motivation just as quickly as indecision and worry. Remember. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. I don't know who said that, but I love it. When you are taking these small actions, your brain might tell you they aren't enough because you aren't perfect yet. But small actions are good. Small actions will lead to a little motivation. And when you add it all up, the small actions followed by a little motivation and then a few more small actions and so on and so forth, you will find that motivation is there, but not as your fuel. As your result, try it. Try one small thing and let me know how it works for you. I would honestly love to hear from you. You're welcome to DM me on Instagram. Send me an email. Let me know what small action you are taking and how it increased your motivation. Another easy small action you can do is to start creating your go-to meals. This is just another great way to help you with those those 24 hour plans. If you haven't grabbed that already. That is my free ebook is your go-to meal guide will help you to create your go-to meals. I give you some of mine for examples, and even if you recipes are in there. So grab that link in the show notes and get your copy today. Alright, I will talk to you next week. I actually have an amazing episode getting ready for you. I interviewed a medical doctor who is a specialist. In menopause and it is amazing as I'm editing it. I'm learning. Like everything he told me all over again i'm like oh yes this is so good so i'm really excited for you to have that's one reason i left this episode short because next episode is quite long but i really am excited for it so be sure to subscribe so you don't miss that

hey, thanks for listening today. If you're ready to get some personalized coaching from me, I'd encourage you to schedule a free strategy session. Visit www.wellwithlisa.as.me or it's easier just to find that link in the show notes. We'll talk about where you currently are with your weight loss goals. And I'll give you some actionable tools. You can start implementing right away. Before you go, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can receive new episodes, right when they're released. And if you're learning something new and enjoying the podcast, I'd love for you to leave me a five star rating and a review. Thanks again for joining me, Lisa Salisbury in this episode of Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well.