Is it Overeating or Binging with Binge Eating Coach Krista Couch [Ep. 68]

Lisa: 0:00

This is the eight well think, well, Well live well podcast. I'm Lisa Salsbury, and this is episode 68. Is it overeating or binging? With binge eating coach, Krista couch. Your language around food is so critical. If you are using words like starving or bingeing, when really you are just hungry or you over ate a bit. This does your brain at disservice? Listen in as Krista and I discuss what binging actually is and how to recognize it and offer some help to you. If that's where you are. We will also be answering the question if dieting or merely trying to lose weight causes bingeing. Um, hint, I'm going to tell you right now that as Krista says, in this episode, it doesn't, if you are making small incremental changes. Like I teach in my program. So before I get to my conversation with Krista, I want to remind you all that there are just three weeks left of the get unstuck sessions. These are the length Have a full coaching session, 50 minutes. And I do this with you on zoom. I fully expect you to be able to lose your first five pounds by listening to the podcast and consuming my free content. But if you are stuck and haven't been able to budge the scale at all, I want to see what's going on for you. Schedule your session and bring your data, whether that's your current food journal or just from your brain, you can tell me what you're currently doing, and we will get to the root cause of why you aren't currently losing weight. Link to get that scheduled is of course in the show notes. Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food. I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter. I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating. I am delighted to have Krista couch here. She is a binge eating coach. She's been on my radar for a while. We met in, I believe like some sort of business building group like ages ago, and I've really been wanting to talk about this topic. So welcome to the podcast, Krista, please tell us a little bit about how you came to this work and a little about what you do.

Krista: 2:21

So from the time that I was in elementary school, I struggled with my relationship to food. I was going months without eating sugar and then shoving straight sugar into my face in the pantry, and I was constantly worried about food in my body. And what was just a not great relationship with food when I was really young turned into an eating disorder. And so, by the time that I was 12, I was binge eating, and then by the time I was 16, I was struggling with bulimia. And... I ended up going to residential treatment and doing a lot of stuff with getting over the eating disorder piece, but after I transitioned out of treatment, coaching really helped me get to the point where I could really work on my relationship with food and understand some of the things that I wasn't figuring out just with treatment and the stuff that I had already had help with. And so I decided not to work with intense eating disorders like I had experienced, but that piece where I had struggled for a long time with the binge eating, I recognized that there were so many people not getting the same level of support. Like when I told my parents I was struggling with binge eating. They didn't take that as seriously because they didn't know that that was the most common eating disorder. They didn't know it was something that I was struggling so much with, and I felt so out of control with food. And there's a huge lack of resources when it comes to overcoming binge eating. And... A lot of people will be struggling with binge eating and go to their therapist and just be told things that they're like, okay, you definitely don't get it. You don't know what I'm going through. I can tell by talking to you. So that's what got me into binge eating. Coaching is a little bit of a combination with my own struggles with food, but also being able to help people that. really want to break this cycle, and they're just not finding help that really resonates with them.

Lisa: 4:30

So you started coaching with a life coach school trained coach. Is that correct? And then you also went to the life coach school.

Krista: 4:37

So I just started following Burt Custeo's stuff and then went to life coach school.

Lisa: 4:43

Okay. Nice. Nice. So you started to sort of implement the tools yourself and then realized like, this is the way for you.

Krista: 4:52

Yeah. And then the old scholars get coached now. That was in there.

Lisa: 4:58

Nice. Okay. So one of the main reasons I wanted to talk with Krista is I feel like there's, um, some amount of hyperbole and exaggeration that a lot of us. And I noticed this when my clients say like, Oh my gosh, I was starving, or like our friends do this all the time. Like I skipped breakfast. I'm starving for lunch. Or, you know, I didn't, I didn't eat very well. And so, you know, four hours later we is this I'm starving. And I noticed it on the other. The other side to like, I made cookies last night. Totally binged on them. When what they meant was you, they had five, like it was more than what they typically, and they overate the cookies. They kind of didn't feel well, but I think there's a difference just like being hungry. Lot of times want to bring my clients down to like, let's use words that are accurate. Like I feel very hungry is a lot different than I'm starving. And I. I think it could be the same way on the other side with, did you overeat that food and you feel like you're full, very, very full, or are we really in a binging situation? So I was wondering if you could start with just the definition of binging and how it's different from overeating a meal.

Krista: 6:13

So when it comes to binge eating disorder, there's a very specific definition in the DSM 5. It talks about how many binges you need to have and the quantity. What can be really helpful to understand, though, is when it comes to overeating, there's still some level of feeling in control. And you, they're usually not hiding it completely. There might be some level of, if you're eating five cookies, you might be embarrassed that you ate five cookies. But you're not going to hide the evidence completely. You're not going to be hiding cookies in the closet for later. You're not going to be sneaking off to the store to get loads of food and being really sneaky about when you're going to eat it. With binge eating, there's usually a lot more shame. And a feeling of no control. And it's also usually a pretty large quantity of food. And it really can vary. Some people, five cookies really does feel like a binge. And they're doing that in a way that feels so out of control. And it's something that's happening routinely. And it's something that there's a ton of shame around. For some people, it's a whole package of cookies, and a cake, and a whole thing of ice cream, plus some chips. the spectrum of how much food is included in a binge can vary a bit. But if you're finding that you're hiding food, you're super embarrassed about your eating habits, you would go into a complete shame attack if somebody saw how much you're eating. That's a sign that binge eating might be happening.

Lisa: 7:55

There's a difference, I think, between. having an eating disorder and eating in a disordered way. So we see a lot, especially on social media with fitness influencers, and they're sharing their like what I ate today. And it's clearly like eating in a disordered way because they might be kind of orthorexic where they're just. Like very concerned and anxious about eating healthy. Like there's disordered eating. A lot of fad diets are disordered eating when we cut out complete food groups. So is there, is that the case as well with binge eating disorder where you can be eating in a disordered way, meaning like having an occasional binge and not have binge eating disorder,

Krista: 8:33

Absolutely, especially when it comes to the actual diagnostic criteria. But if you're generally feeling like your eating is pretty normal, like maybe you overeat, And your relationship with food isn't perfect, but you have some level of control over your eating most of the time. It might be that there's some stuff going on with your relationship with food that just needs some work and working on changing the way you think about food, changing the way that you plan your food and think about your planning can be enough to help that. If it's binge eating, you probably are listening to this podcast and thinking, oh, yep, that really resonates. I'm feeling really out of control. And if you're feeling that, but it's not happening all of the time, you might be binge eating, and it might not be a super big problem that's happening all of the time, but that struggle and that feeling of really intense shame is something that Is a problem, and it is something that can create a lot of suffering, and that's valid even if it's not something that happens to you all the time.

Lisa: 9:42

Perfect. That's really helpful. What do you think then causes binge eating?

Krista: 9:48

So, there's three causes that kind of umbrella a few different things, but pretty much anyone I talk to and I talk about, When was the last time you binged? I can see it coming back to these three causes. And the first one is restriction or hunger. So, when you've been restricting your food, dieting for a long time, even just dieting for a short time, or mentally restricting your food, or not allowing yourself certain foods, what can happen is... Your body physically is asking for more food, and it kind of thinks there's an emergency going on, so it's just going to scream, I need food, and it doesn't differentiate between, okay, yeah, I just need some nutrition, and an avocado and some vegetables will get me what I need, and something has gone terribly wrong, I need to eat the entire pantry. And so the first thing that I like to address with people is just If you're binge eating, look at if you're restricting your food and not eating enough because that can make so many of your urges to binge go away, it can make it so much easier to start eating normal meals and feel more in control. But for some people, there's another aspect to it and it's not just that they're not eating enough, it's also that they're feeling a lot of shame or they get to the end of the day and they're just exhausted and overwhelmed. And they're feeling some relief by grabbing the pint of ice cream and then getting some other things and then going and getting some cereal. So there's an emotional aspect to that. And so that's the second thing is emotions. So restriction and emotions are the first two. And then the last one is when you've been doing that for a while, it can become a habit. You can just be like, oh, yeah, I get home from work or I put the kids to bed. And I go and get my binge foods. I go put the kids to bed and then I grab my box of Cheez Its. And it's not that you're planning that necessarily or that it's intentional, but it's like it doesn't feel like I have any other option than to eat food right now. This is the only thing I know how to wind down with or relax with. And so it feels really out of control, but it's become kind of a habit. Or I go to the store and I pick up chocolate. I get home from work and I stop at the drive thru and get this before I go home.

Lisa: 12:22

Those habit loops are, they're more powerful than. I think we realize both for, you know, positive and quote unquote negative habits and it's if you've ever opened up your phone and been like checking your email and then notice that, wait, I'm on Instagram. Like those are those kinds of habits where you're just like, every time I'm on my phone, I check Instagram or, you know, those kinds of things. And it can be the same with food. Every time after I put the kids to bed, then I go grab a snack. it's a habit loop, that we want to choose a different, probably path for, So with the first reason with restrictions, I think this kind of feels like a little bit of bad news because people are like, okay, but I have to restrict a little bit if I'm trying to lose weight, I have to, you know, eat a little bit less kind of thing. And so is it possible to stop binge eating while you're also trying to lose weight? And like, how does that kind of play into the restriction piece?

Krista: 13:26

Yeah, so if you are occasionally feeling out of control with food, you might be able to restrict and lose some weight and binge. That could be possible. But what a lot of the research shows us is you're just making it really hard for yourself. If you're really binging and you're trying to lose weight, It's going to be a much steeper, much more difficult battle, but it makes a lot of sense that you want to lose weight. You've probably gained weight with binging. You probably don't feel you're healthiest. And so you don't have to just completely put that desire to lose weight and throw it out, but if you can put it on the back burner for a little bit and just allow yourself to eat the foods that you enjoy, and allow yourself to eat more food with some structure that makes it easier to eat in a way that's nourishing to your body, what you'll find is that the urges to binge are so much less intense. And That can take some time, there still can be some mental restriction there, it's an easier thing to say than it is to do, to just put that desire to lose weight on the backburner,

Lisa: 14:39

I'm sure that's probably what you work with your clients to do as well. Like part of what you're part of what coaching is helping them do.

Krista: 14:46

yeah, but it's, if you lose, That urge to binge and you're feeling more in control around food. It's easier just to eat meals that are nourishing and then to have the slice of cheesecake and move on, or to have some cookies and move on. Then It's going to be easier to start to just have the relationship with food you want that's going to help you take care of your body and to feel the best you can in your body. So, for most people that are struggling with binge eating, if you're looking at the two options of lose weight right now, but continue to binge and then gain weight over the long term versus begin to feel more in control around food way sooner and stop the weight gain. And to stop the feeling terrible physically, stopping the feeling terrible physically is usually way better. The stopping the binges now is usually a way better option. So, like I said, easier said than done. But it makes a lot more sense zoomed out to see, oh, I wanted to stop this cycle and to get out of this completely.

Lisa: 16:02

So I think that's really helpful. Just like focus on one thing at a time, focus on reducing the binges now, and then as that is part of your lifestyle that you're not binging anymore, then you can kind of revisit if you need to the weight loss piece.

Krista: 16:18

Yeah, and I have had clients that have lost weight after working with me, like, they've worked with me, put it on hold. And lost a substantial amount of weight and kept it off, but the people who have tried to do it at the same time haven't had nearly as much success as people that have just put it on the back burner and said, all right, I'm going to be patient and figure this out first. So it really is worthwhile, but sometimes it's hard when you're really feeling uncomfortable and a lot of shame in your body to just. Have that bird's eye view to see that over the long term. It makes it a lot easier.

Lisa: 16:59

Yeah. Let's talk about someone who is not binging, but that feels this, when you were talking about the restriction piece, I feel like one of the messages that we hear a lot on social media. And I think I probably hear more about diet and weight loss than other people, since it is like my nation, Instagram's like, you're very interested in this because it's all, but one message I hear is don't diet. Don't restrict because that will cause. Binging and I just don't think that's true for everyone because I have lots of clients that lose weight and that means they're eating a little bit less than what they used to. I always say, like, It's not about eating as little as possible is about eating a little bit less. So that your body can burn your onboard fat stores. Do you see that as successful? Like, do you see people having success with that without going into bingeing? Because certainly I would never want to have a client be like, I'm afraid to lose weight because I'm afraid I might start binging later. Do you see what I'm saying?

Krista: 18:06

Yeah, I Think that there's some nuance here but what we do know is that When people restrict their calories, especially below a certain level, things change in the way that they think about food. An example is the Ansel Keys study. There was a group of men that were eating 1500 calories a day, and they just started acting obsessed with food. Their mental health declined really quickly. But at the same time, this is an experiment where food was taken away and it wasn't done with thought work or acknowledgement of emotions and also, there were probably men that needed a lot more than 1500 calories. So, a lot of diets, especially if you do it without looking at the bigger picture, will lead to binge eating.

Lisa: 19:04

Like severe restriction diets.

Krista: 19:06

because your body does not know the difference between not getting enough to eat and famine and food is not available. But that doesn't mean that every single person that diets is going to do that. And especially in the container of thought work and making sure that you're not over restricting your food to the point where you're just not eating enough and you're feeling hungry all the time. You can lose weight and add in healthier habits without binging. I think that a few ways to protect against binge eating is to make changes that aren't leaving you falling to bed at night, starving, and just dreaming about your breakfast, and to make changes that you can sustain for a long time. Like, if you're trying to lose weight, and you're doing something that you can only see yourself doing for a couple of months, that's gonna have a much higher probability of leading to binge eating. But, if you're doing it in a way where you're making little changes that help you listen to your body more and you're not eating the same really rich desserts, and instead you're looking at, okay, what am I really feeling right now when I'm diving into this dessert at night? And doing that with my family mindlessly, what's really going on, and then can I figure that out so that I get out of this habit of having these rich desserts? Naturally, you are going to lose weight, but it's not going to be in a way that is going to make you feel completely deprived. Because you're really working on, why am I doing this? Why has this habit started? So, it's definitely something to be cautious of. There's a lot of negative side effects that go far beyond binge eating to doing really restrictive diets. And I think it is helpful to be aware that there are side effects. But that doesn't mean that making healthy changes in your life is definitely going to lead to binge eating. That's just not what I've seen to be true. And.. I am a really big person on, like, the research does say this, but there's a lot of nuance to that. Research studies have specific conditions and it's usually on a broader scale, and there's different things that play into the results that we see. So, I do think that there's a lot more nuance than just, if you diet, you'll binge.

Lisa: 21:42

I totally agree. And I, I just wanted your opinion as a binge eating coach, I don't find that I have clients have been issues after like working with me and changing some of their habits. And so I love that you're saying like, if you're making some changes within the container of thought work and using those tools and really thinking about. Do I want this dessert? How am I going to feel in 15 minutes? How am I going to feel in an hour? What's it can make my body do? And really paying attention to that. It feels a lot less like restriction and a lot more like caring for your body and caring for the, um, I've been talking a lot about like the vessel for your soul. Like. This is your vessel. Like how can we care exquisitely for our bodies and really just care for that vessel in such a way that it honors the soul inside and it's such a whole different feeling. I was talking to a woman this morning about how all of the diets that she's done, it's like Sunday night, it's like last supper, carb load. And then Monday morning, her diet looks. 360 degree difference from what it looked like Sunday, right? She's like thrown out everything doing this diet salads all day. Like it looks completely different when you work with me. It's like your Monday is going to look exactly like your Sunday. And then your Tuesday is going to pretty much look exactly like your Monday. Like your changes are so, so tiny and, and feeling so insignificant that you don't even realize that six weeks later. You've made a lifestyle change and that feels a lot less like restriction and really, I think, avoids that sort of binge reaction.

Krista: 23:26

yeah. I think a good litmus test is to look at, is this coming from self love? Or is this coming from, I don't feel good enough, and I'm not good enough? And, I think... The changes that a coach can help you make, that come from this place of self love and are going to help you start to make changes that are truly taking care of your body, are going to have a very different effect than the types of changes that you make because you just feel uncomfortable and your body is super anxious to change that. And another good thing to think about is... are the changes that you're making, changes that you'd encourage your best friend or your child to make. And if you're making those kind of changes, you're just caring for your body in a different way. It's not the same kind of restrict binge cycle that is going to lead a feeling out of control when you're really making changes that are nourishing and caring.

Lisa: 24:25

Yeah, I love that. I love thinking about what your best friend would say to you right now, like, instead of talking to yourself in such a horrible way, like, how would she talk to you? Like, how, what would she say? And, you know, how you would talk to your daughter and those kinds of things and thinking about, you know, because we would never speak out loud the things that we speak. In our internal dialogue, and especially around these kinds of food issues. So let's talk to that person that maybe does occasionally binge maybe thinks they might be Having some binge issues might be binge eating disorder might not be a full blown eating disorder yet, but feeling like okay I'm starting to binge or I feel a strong pull to eat Everything in the house. What can she do?

Krista: 25:10

There's a few things. I think, first of all, you can look at when it, when are the patterns of when you're binging. Just even right now, think about the last time that you binged and you can think about the things that Might be going through your head. So a lot of times it's there's this really intense desire for food Like maybe you're thinking about the chocolate that's in your pantry We're getting close to Halloween candies time. So you might think about the Halloween candy and I don't know when this episode's airing, but you might have leftover Halloween

Lisa: 25:43

Mm hmm.

Krista: 25:44

and You may thinking about that and then start to just feel like the only option is to eat that right now And you start to eat it, and it's like, okay, screw it, I already messed up, I'll be better tomorrow. You can start to recognize those types of things that are going through your head. And it's hard to just listen to a podcast and completely change your patterns. But if you can start by listening to this, and then going throughout your life and noticing those types of things. Noticing how you're thinking about food. The things you tell yourself, like, screw it, I'll be better tomorrow. That just give you some relief and permission to binge in the moment. Starting without awareness. really can help you when it comes to changing your patterns down the line.

Lisa: 26:35

a lot of binging happens Unconsciously, would you agree? So just like yeah, so just starting to bring it up to your awareness. Like this is what I'm doing

Krista: 26:45

Yeah, exactly. If you start to notice the things that you're telling yourself that give you that permission to binge, like, Once you tell yourself, I'll be better tomorrow, or once you start planning the changes you'll make tomorrow, maybe you feel better now, you don't have to feel as guilty for binging because you're going to make up for it. You're going to be better tomorrow. So, noticing those kind of things can have a really big impact and it's such an easy place to start. And then there's all these bigger picture things and the bigger picture changes that need to happen. The way you think about your body image and feeling more at peace around food and there are these Concepts that sound great Trusting yourself around food trusting yourself to have the Halloween candy around and to not attack it and eat all of it That sounds great But the steps to get there aren't usually very clear. It's just I wish I could have that. Or maybe you're at the point where you're just so used to having a terrible relationship with food that you don't even think about what you want anymore. So what I recommend doing is just looking at the week ahead of you. And thinking about one thing that you could do that's going to make a difference in your relationship with food that you can do this week. And every day, you can know, I did this thing, or I didn't do this thing. You can know that you achieved your goal, or you didn't achieve it. You can assess what are the obstacles that came up, or what are obstacles that might come up. And this could be that you just set a couple timers on your phone throughout the day and know what emotions are you feeling. And so when you get home at the end of the day, those emotions haven't built up so much without being acknowledged, that you just dive into the food. It might be setting a little bit more structure in your food to make sure you get enough early in the day and you're not feeling as ravenous. when you get home. It might be just setting a reminder during that time that you typically binge. So if you're one of those people that has those habit binges, like you put the kids to bed, you get home from work, and you're binge eating, maybe it's setting a timer then, or putting a reminder somewhere in your house, and doing some kind of thing when you see that to take care of yourself. And knowing, okay, every day I did the thing to take care of myself, or I did this ritual that helped me a little bit step back and not just go in my automatic autopilot pattern.

Lisa: 29:18

Thank you so much. That, I think, is so helpful. it's just starting with the little things. And this is what I'm saying, like, your Monday. Might not look drastically different than your Sunday when you are starting these little tiny things. And also you can start on any random Thursday afternoon. So you don't have to wait until a Monday or the first of the month or the first of the year. So, it's always a good time to start taking care of your body and paying attention to. What she's telling you and what you're feeling and just starting with some of these little things in the awareness. I think the awareness piece is just absolutely critical because we do a lot of our eating unconsciously, whether you're binging or even just eating a meal in front of the TV, just like bringing your eating up to your conscious brain makes a huge difference.

Krista: 30:05

I love that. And I'll add that When you're making changes that are really going to help you long term, a positive sign that you can look for is that you'll feel ready to make them right away. It won't be big and daunting so that you feel like you have to wait till Monday to start that. The really positive changes that you know you're going to be able to stick to and are going to create a positive domino effect of making lots of other positive changes are going to feel... You're gonna know I could start this now instead of waiting till an easier time in the future when I'm gonna have all my stuff figured out.

Lisa: 30:42

Yeah, that time's never going to come.

Krista: 30:45

Yeah.

Lisa: 30:47

All right. Well, thank you so much, Krista. I really appreciate you being here. Why don't you tell people where they can find you online and, how maybe people could work with you.

Krista: 30:55

So, I'm on Instagram. That's the best place to connect with me is Instagram. I'm at bingeeatingcoach. And you can also go to my website which is krista with a K couchcoaching. com And on my homepage there, there's a guide that talks about the three causes of binge eating that I talked about today. And it talks about some of those things that you could do this week to help you. So you can get that just on my homepage and my website, www.KristaCouchCoaching.com.

Lisa: 31:31

Perfect. And we'll put those links in the show notes. All right. It's been a pleasure having you. Thanks Krista.

Krista: 31:37

Thank you.

31:38

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