Eating With Intention: Knowing When You've Had Enough [109]

0:00 This is the well think. Well live well podcast. I'm Lisa Saulsberry and this is episode 109. Eating with intention knowing when you've had enough. Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food. I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter. I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating. Hi everyone. It was so great to have back-to-back guests for the last eight weeks, but I thought it was time.

0:42 You heard directly from me again. My youngest has started back to school. And I assume if you have children that's happening for you as well. My favorite back to school post. I think that I've seen said something to the effect of there's a lot of people shocked at what grade their child is in this year. And it's kind of concerning. That may be giggle. I was like, it's true. We're all like what? I can't believe it. So yeah, they grow up each and every year. For me, it's just starting to make me feel kind of old since my youngest is now a junior in high school, she's halfway done with high school and then she'll leave. And that will be probably the weirdest part of parenting.

1:23 All right. So for today I wanted to chat with you about something. I've actually coached on several times in the last few weeks with clients. And that is how to know when you've reached enough while eating meals. How to recognize those cues of fullness. There's far more questions about how to recognize enough. Over questions about how to recognize hunger. So I think, uh, it's just much easier to notice when you're hungry there. Those cues are really obvious. You know, we're accustomed to feeling hungry, but we're not as accustomed to stopping at enough. We generally stop when the plate is empty or we stop when the food is literally gone.

2:04 And so learning to stop at your enough because of the drastic portion distortion that we have these days is a really. Really useful skill. So I often help my clients know how much to eat by using a hunger scale. I know you've heard me talk about this. I have full episodes on the hunger scale. This is just one tool to help you gain awareness around how much you are eating and when you are eating. I will just go over it briefly, but if you need more on this, like I said, I'll, I'll link in the show notes. Some of my full episodes on this topic. But the way I teach it is to think of your hunger and fullness scale, being from a negative 10. And that's like super hungry all the way through zero, which is neutral and up to positive 10, which is a stuffed, completely full.

2:51 Negative 10 and positive 10 are equal, distant from zero. So they are equally uncomfortable. This is a little bit different than what you often see online, which is a hunger scale. That goes from one to 10. And so your, your neutral place is somewhere around a five. And those work fine too. If those numbers like seem. More. Like work better for your brain. That's fine. But I like to think about how negative 10 and positive 10. Are equally uncomfortable. I think we forget. Then when we're overeating that when we're heading towards that very uncomfortable state for the body, just like not eating for way too many hours can lead to the uncomfortable state of severe hunger.

3:33 So they're both uncomfortable in the body. Neither is more noble, right? Like it's not more noble to be like super hungry before you eat. And it's not good and more fun to overeat completely where they are both very uncomfortable states in our body. So that's why I like to. I use the negative 10th through positive 10. We want to spend the most part of our day at zero, that neutral place where we don't feel the food in our stomach that we previously ate. But we also don't feel any hunger, pangs, no stomach grumbling, no lightheaded feelings of hunger. None of that. Once that starts to go away. Once you start moving away from that neutral feeling.

4:15 You're going to start sliding down the negative side of the scale. Negative one. You're feeling some lightness in the body. And then negative two. You want to start preparing food so that at negative three, you can start eating. That's the goal to start eating around a negative three. Some old diet advice you've probably heard is to not let yourself get too hungry or you might risk a binge. But I think that's terrible advice because that just sets you up to never trust yourself. Oh no. If I'm hungry, there's no telling what I might do. I'm completely untrustworthy. If I get too hungry. That's absurd. I believe in you, you do not have to binge.

4:55 If you accidentally quote, unquote, get too hungry. I like to teach you to trust yourself and to believe that you are always the one in charge of your food decisions. If you end up getting past a negative three, because you're busy or out doing errands, or for whatever reason you end up skipping a meal. Don't panic. That doesn't mean you're going to automatically overeat. The main reason I teach you that you want to start eating at a negative three. Is because it's the nicest time to start eating. It's nice to approach a meal with hunger. Think about a time where you've sat down to a meal and you aren't even hungry. That food doesn't taste as good. And you end up just not feeling great in your body because you've already overeaten when you've just barely gotten started.

5:41 And you still feel obligated to finish the meal. I want to be hungry when I start eating a meal. But not too hungry because then my stomach is cramping up. And when I put food in that situation, it takes a long time for my stomach to feel better. So those are the reasons I like to start eating around a negative three or sometimes negative for. But this leads me to the topic of today's podcast. Most of us are actually pretty good at all of this negative side at recognizing the hunger. You might not be comfortable with it. You might not like to feel hungry. I've even had clients that have had an underlying fear of getting hungry. So they eat preemptively to avoid hunger. But today.

6:22 I want to speak mostly about how to tell when you've had enough, how to tell when you've reached a comfortable fullness level. Basically how to know when to stop eating. And this all is kind of based around how to know when to stop eating when you're not actively weighing and measuring your food. When you're a portions aren't already set up from the beginning to fit into. Some sort of Tetris game of calorie counting or macros or points or whatever, you're trying to make everything fit into. Now whether you are using my hunger scale or not, or whether you want to attach numbers to this or not. You know that leaving a meal at a comfortable fullness feels a lot different in the body.

7:02 Than leaving a meal, overly full. Or underfill for that matter. In my dieting days, it was always hard when I had weighed and measured my portion. And like I just said, when you're trying to make it all Tetris fit into your day, and that was like, oh, that's all I'm allowed to have air quotes. Right. neither of those are fun situations. But the main question I get with this is how do I know when I'm at. At positive three when I'm eating. Because on the positive side, We want to aim to stop eating at that positive three. So that's why I talk about like eating between the threes. When we start eating at a negative three, we eat all the way to a positive three that equates to a meal.

7:44 So, how do we know when we're at that positive three? It does take some time for signals from the stomach to reach the brain. Some say even 20 minutes. So that makes it hard to stop at the right quote unquote right time when we haven't even reached. The time where all of the signals are necessarily at the brain. Right. So what are some good ways to tell if you've reached enough or you're going to be at that positive three fullness and a little bit in, you know, 10 or 20 minutes after you finish eating? And that you want to stop at that point. So there are several strategies actually involved here in eating the actual meal. So we'll discuss those first and then get into some of, some of the actual signs of fullness, because the strategies, while you are eating are actually just as important as recognizing what full feels like.

8:36 Okay. So I have four of these. So number one is eat slowly. There's several ways eating slowly can help you, but letting your stomach signals catch up to the food you're putting in. That's that's the biggest one, right? That's the one that's most important. You may have heard on last week's episode, my guest dine a rooster. suggested chewing your food 20 times in order to aid in digestion and preventing digestive issues. Your digestion definitely starts in the mouth with that chewing. So doing so in a thorough way is definitely beneficial to the digestion process. But it also slows you down. Put your fork down in between bites.

9:18 Rather than holding it ready or loading it up with the next bite before you've even gotten the bite chewed up and swallowed. I noticed I was eating. An open face sandwich today for lunch, just, I just hosted a piece of bread and put cheese and some ham on it. And I was holding it the whole time. As I was eating it and I was like, oh, equally as important with finger foods, like, go ahead and put that down. I don't need to hold it while I'm chewing, because then I'm just kind of pushing it in as soon as I've got that last bite chewed up. So for finger foods, just like putting your fork down. You know, put the food down, but the food down in between bites. It's a simple thing. I realize it's like, this is so basic, but it is.

10:01 A good way. To consciously slow yourself down. I like to be the last one done as kind of a measure of if I have eaten slowly, because I have been the first one done many, many, many, many times in my life. And that is a sure sign that I have stuffed it in and had these thoughts about food scarcity and thinking there's not going to be enough. And. So that's, that's all, you know, Other stuff that, that I can get coached on and that you might want to get coached on, but just thinking about slowing down. Can really be helpful. Second. Close close cousin here is eating mindfully. Eating mindfully starts with committing to such things as only eating, sitting down in a chair.

10:47 Maybe even decide that you want a placemat and a napkin. Obviously, there are times in your life when things are crazy, you have to grab some food on the go. But as with anything I talk about on the podcast, if you're engaging in these healthy habits, 80 to 90% of the time, That's plenty to make a real headway. So don't panic. If you're like, well, Wednesday between dance and soccer practice, we have to eat on the way. That's one meal in the week. Like it's fine. If you can participate in these health engaging practices, 80 to 90% of your meals. Then you are doing a great job. 'cause I sort of like math. Just just as a side note, like let's do that.

11:27 Math. If you eat three meals a day, that's 21 meals a week, let's add in three snacks because most of my clients end up having a snack a few days per week. So let's say that's 24 meals in a week. 80% of your meals would be 19. And 90% of your meals would be 21 and a half. So that means roughly three to five meals per week. Don't have to be this way. And that doesn't mean, oh, you're off the hook. It's a cheat day. It just means that you have wiggle room in your life. If that doesn't seem like enough wiggle room to you or your life is such that most of your meals are eaten on the go. Then we definitely need to talk and address that aspect first, but back to the mindful eating tips, I mentioned eating, sitting down and at a set table even.

12:16 If you are dishing up, buffet-style over at the stove. Wait until you are actually sitting down to start eating. I noticed people taking bites while they're walking to their chairs. Like there's no rush people, the food isn't going anywhere. Another way to eat mindfully is of course, to put away the phones and the TV. I know it feels boring, but even if you casually read through a magazine or a book it's less stimulating and distracting than scrolling tick talk with the ever evolving algorithm to suck you in. Getting your nervous system in the right state of rest and digest can also help you eat mindfully when way to do this is to give thanks in a prayer.

12:58 Or even just a moment of silence or a statement of gratitude. When we take a moment to express gratitude to God or the universe and put away all other distractions. Our nervous system calms down and our body is better prepared to receive food for digestion. This might sound a little booboo, but there's actually evidence for this. When your body can properly digest its food, it utilizes nutrients more efficiently and supports proper digestion. So getting into that rest and digest state is really important. Remaining and a state of gratitude while we eat can also help us to eat slower and better. Enjoy the conversation with friends and family.

13:39 If you are sharing your table with someone. Okay. Number three is give thought to your portion. And dish it on one plate. Okay. So for this one, I want you to give thought to what you need in this meal. Think about where you are on the hunger scale. Also give thought to your protein intake for the day. Are you short on protein? So you should dish yourself heavy on the protein side or have you already had plenty and you can go a little less on that. Do you need more vegetables or fruits in this meal? This will also be sort of decided when you are deciding what to eat. But adjustments can be made often to how you are dishing up your plate if needed. But the biggest thing here is to try to fit everything you want to eat in that meal on one plate.

14:23 The take home here is to try to avoid a second helpings or nibbles off your kids' plates or out of the pot. As you were putting away leftovers. So rather than phrase this as no seconds, that's like a restriction role. I want you to think about everything I need will fit on this plate. And so it's just more of a positive spin. The reason for this is that when you think about your meal, you are thinking about what was on your plate. So if you're thinking about like, how much did I eat today, if it's several hours later and you're confused as to why you're feeling so full, it's hard to visualize how much total food you consumed when it was in bits and bytes and second helpings and such.

15:04 So put everything you want to eat all at once on the one plate in front of you. Be honest with yourself. Do you want one of the chicken nuggets you fixed for your kids? If yes, then put one on your plate. Don't just think I'll have whatever they don't eat. You were not a garbage disposal. You can have your own fresh food from the pan without a toddler having pushed it around her plate first. The other reason I want you to do this is because if you are not making progress on your weight loss goals, It is much easier to decrease your portions by a couple of bites. When you are familiar with what your plate generally looks like. If you don't really know how much you eat, because you put some on your plate and then you put some more.

15:46 It's hard to think how that would all look together in order to dish a few bytes, less. I hope this is making sense. I'm not just saying never have seconds, so you can lose weight. I'm saying, just be honest. With how much food you want, how much food you need in this moment. And then put it all in one place. And this helps you see what you are eating, bringing it back to the mindful piece as well. Giant portions in today's world. Have really skewed our brains and to thinking we need more than we do. When you are in charge of. Putting food on your plate at home. You can get really good at dishing up the amount that works well for you.

16:28 And then when you are out, You know, what a portion looks like that helps meet you at the positive three that you're aiming for on that fullness side. Okay. Number four is reframe your words. Just like, I try to get my clients not to use the word starving as it's such an over-exaggeration and can lead to drama in the brain. About eating, being an emergency. I try also to get them to switch from the word full to the words enough or satiated. When we are full or aiming to get full. It gives the impression of using all the space. When you fill a glass, you're putting water in there all the way to the top.

17:09 With just enough space so that you can pick it up without spilling that's a full glass. We don't really want that in our stomachs. We don't want to really fill them to capacity as that is actually pretty uncomfortable. We want to just not be hungry anymore. We want to have eaten enough. We want to be satiated. Okay. So do you hear how those words are different? There's a big difference in saying and leaving a meal and saying I'm so full. And I've had enough. So reframe your words for that fullness side. I know I do use the word, the fullness side of the hunger scale as opposed to the hunger side, but it is your measure of getting to that fullness.

17:52 But we are aiming for enough at that positive three. And enough is like, this has plenty of food to get me through to my next meal. No one needs to eat enough to get them through 24 hours. You know, I certainly don't teach one meal a day or anything like that. So we don't need to overfill our stomach because we do want to go ahead and eat again in a few hours at lunchtime or at dinner time with our families or what have you. Okay. So these are the four strategies for eating at mealtime. Eat slowly, eat mindfully, give thought to your portion and use one plate. And reframe your words. Now you've done all those things. You're at the table. You're having your meal.

18:33 What are we looking for then in the body? First, just remember again, we are going for enough, not full. So when you start watching for that, that might be all that you need. But beyond that, watch for a sigh. Oftentimes when we get to a satisfied point, your body will naturally give. Just a breath a sigh. So watch for that. Otherwise, you're just going to check in using the strategies of eating slowly and mindfully. And then check in with your body. How am I feeling? Alright, am I feeling a sense of fullness? Enter the stomach. Am I feeling. A sense of satisfaction taking over. Those are good signs of enough.

19:14 You'll also want to be okay with leaving food on the plate, a big barrier. To eating just to enough is the idea that you have to clean your plate. I've done full episodes on wasting food, but just know that leaving a few bites behind because you are practicing, eating just to enough. Is not going to make a difference in your food budget and it's not wasteful. I've done the math. I promise. This is where being in charge of your portions and dishing up just what you want can come back into play as well. If you are consistently leaving food behind at each meal. It might be time to cut back on the amount you are dishing up for yourself. It can be so routine. And just such a habit to always make or take the same portion that you don't even think about it.

20:00 My favorite way to know if I've reached enough, but not gone over. Is, could I get up from the table and comfortably take the dog on a 10 or 15 minute walk. So not like a fitness walk, We don't have to be racewalking, but it, a casual walk around the neighborhood. If I'm too full for that to happen easily, then that was too much food. Not only is an after-dinner walk great for your digestion, but it is a great tool to start assessing your enough. If you start going on walks, you will start to notice. Oh, okay. I'm a little bit over my enough or I'm a lot over my enough. That's good information for me. For next time. Pay attention also to how you feel an hour later, two hours later, et cetera.

20:43 If you are four plus hours post-meal and you still aren't feeling hunger signals start to kick in a little bit. That's a good sign. That that meal might have been too much. Again, it's good information for what to dish up next time. So a lot of this. His practice and information gathering for next time to apply to the being mindful on dishing up your portions when you're out to dinner, by the way. And you're not in charge of dishing up your portions. If you're at a place that gives you, you know, huge portions, half your plate is French fries or. Or maybe three quarters of your plate is mashed potatoes and gravy with your protein. You're like, oh, okay.

21:23 This is more than what I would dish up at home. You can section it off, just section off, like here's how much I would dish up at home. And then you already know, because you've been practicing so much at home. Okay. The last tip is actually one that happens actually away from the table. So I didn't include it in the, in the original list of four. And that is to get enough sleep. Nothing sends up a false hunger signal, like being sleep deprived. This has to do with the increase in the hormones, leptin and ghrelin, driving us to eat a little more on a day where we haven't gotten adequate sleep. Because we're fatigued and the energy needs to come from somewhere. So it makes sense that the body would drive you to eat more, to make up for it.

22:05 New parents. I'm sorry. It's not a lot that can be done for you besides praying for the babies to sleep through the night soon. I know that's a rough time and you're doing your best, but if you do have that one random bad night, Just be mindful that your body is going to drive you to eat more, especially foods high in a carb fat combination. So those are the days to be especially mindful and keep eating to meal times. So we avoid the grab and go situation. Every time you walk through the kitchen. Let me know if you have any questions on this topic. I've always got a few posts on Instagram about the episode. So that's a great way to have some conversation with other listeners and post your tips and tricks for knowing when is the perfect time.

22:46 To put your fork down. I hope you have some delicious meals this week. Eat them mindfully at the table, 80 to 90% of the time and get some great sleep. If you're ready for that extra bit of personalized help with your weight loss, or you need help figuring out some of your confusing hunger and fullness cues. Be sure to schedule your free coaching call with me and see how much you can benefit. Link for that is in the show notes. Have a great week and as always, thanks for listening to the eat. Well think, well live well podcast.