Why You Keep Emotional Eating—And How to Finally Stop [Ep. 137]

0:00 This is the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast. I'm Lisa Salisbury, and this is episode 137, Why You Keep Emotional Eating, and How to Finally Stop. Welcome to eat well. Well, the podcast for busy women who want to lose weight without constantly counting, tracking, or stressing over every bite. I'm Lisa Salsbury, a certified health weight loss and life coach, and most importantly, a recovered chronic dieter here. You'll learn to listen to your body and uncover the reasons you're reaching for food. When you're not truly hungry, freeing you to focus on a healthier, more fulfilling approach to eating.

0:41 Welcome back. So glad you are here today for this solo episode. Picture yourself. It's been a long day. You're exhausted. You come home and suddenly that snack at the pantry feels like the answer to all your problems. Sound familiar? There's lots of scenarios I can give here, but emotional eating is something so many of us struggle with. But today we're going to talk about how to finally break that cycle, hopefully for good. So if you've ever found yourself reaching for food when you're not physically hungry, feeling guilty afterwards, or stuck in a cycle of stress eating, this episode is for you.

1:22 I'm going to break down why emotional eating happens and how to slow it down and maybe even stop it for good. First, I want to start with definition of what emotional eating really is. Because remember that in all my content, I do not want you to ignore Your physical hunger. I do not want you to try to eat as little as possible. That is not the goal here. We are trying to eat a little bit less than what you're eating in maintenance so that you create a little bit of a calorie deficit. So just hear me that this is very different than responding to your physical hunger. So emotional eating is when we use food to cope with emotions rather than to satisfy physical hunger.

2:06 That's, that's the like. Basic definition. It's important to recognize that this is completely normal. Food is comforting, and our brains are wired to seek pleasure and avoid discomfort. But when emotional eating becomes a habit, it can lead to weight gain, frustration, and feeling out of control around food. The key difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger are a few things. So, Let's start with the fact that physical hunger builds gradually and can be satisfied with a variety of foods. Emotional hunger comes on suddenly, often feels a little bit like an emergency, is usually associated with a craving for a specific food, often a comfort food, like chips, chocolate, ice cream, etc.

3:01 Physical hunger occurs after some time from your last meal Emotional hunger can occur anytime, regardless of the last meal you ate, and in fact can occur still while you are eating. Um, this is why, um, the urge to get seconds is often really emotional hunger. Emotional hunger is often tied to a feeling like stress, boredom, loneliness, or celebration. Also the feeling of FOMO. Right? Which is kind of hard to put into a single emotion word, but that fear of missing out, that's often what's triggering those seconds, the eating more, that I'll never get this again, that is associated with emotional hunger.

3:45 So those are kind of the key differences between the two. And I think you probably know most of the time when you're emotionally eating, it doesn't always look like crying face down into a tub of ice cream. There's a lot of reasons why we emotionally eat. And I think this kind of helps you really, um, parse that out. So we know what it is, but why is it so hard to break the cycle of emotional eating? Number one, like I said, in the definitions, your brain is wired for comfort. Food gives us a quick hit of dopamine, making us feel good in the moment. That's how your brain is designed. But this reinforces the habit, making us more likely to turn to food when we feel stressed or overwhelmed.

4:32 And again, I'll say my favorite saying Food works. It just does. It's normal for food to be comforting. We've done it since we were babies. Nothing is really wrong here other than when emotionally eating is preventing us from living our healthiest lives. And we want to kind of eat a little bit less, like I said, to get into that little bit of a deficit so we can start losing weight. Number two, diet culture makes it worse. If you've been restricting foods, like in particular foods, groups of foods, or following strict diets, emotional eating can become a form of rebellion or a relief from deprivation.

5:13 When we label foods as bad, we create guilt around eating, which fuels the emotional eating cycle even more. This is one reason I often assign clients to plan pleasure foods or quality of life foods. Essentially anything that you think is going to be quote unquote bad for weight loss. Because you've got to start viewing these things as foods you can occasionally incorporate into your life. Not as bad. And not as cheat meals. Number three, it's not just about willpower emotional eating isn't a lack of self control. It's a learned coping mechanism. The good news, just like any habit, it can be unlearned and replaced with healthier strategies.

5:58 This is due to the neuroplasticity of the brain. We can rewire. Okay, So how is that done? How do we rewire? Let's talk about actually how to stop emotionally eating. I'm going to give you three key steps. Number one, awareness first. The next time you find yourself reaching for food, pause. Ask yourself, am I physically hungry or is this an emotional need? You probably don't need to do this when you're sitting down for dinner, right? Because you know you're ready for a meal, it's physical hunger. But if you're reaching for food in between meals, this can be a helpful question. Keep a simple journal where you know what you ate and why.

6:39 Food journaling again. Oh, she's like a broken record. I know. I know. Over time though, you'll start to see patterns. This is great, great data. Maybe you always snack late at night, out of boredom. Or you overeat after a stressful meeting in the middle of the afternoon. Instead of judging yourself, Get curious. This is all part of the awareness. Your brain is giving you a clue about what it needs. If you don't think to do this in the moment, which totally can happen, you can do a reflection at the end of the day and, without judgment, ask yourself, did I do any emotional eating today? Give yourself a metaphorical hug.

7:19 Be gentle, okay? Be kind. That's when you can get some awareness. It sounds like, hey babe, what was going on today that felt like food would make it better? Often when we are first trying to create awareness, we aren't going to be able to stop right in the moment of first grabbing the food, and that is fine. So this end of day reflection can be a good alternative until we can ask these questions in the moment. Anything we can do to create awareness around this is going to Be helpful. Number two, create a new response. And this hearkens back just like the awareness piece. This also new response hearkens back to just a few weeks ago when I was talking about the habit loop and replacing your habit with something different.

8:04 You can choose your new response based on your awareness of what is causing the emotional eating. So, for example, if stress is your trigger, you can try deep breathing, taking a quick walk or stretching instead of eating. If you notice that boredom is leading to your snacking, engage your hands. Try a craft, journal, practice a musical instrument, or just call a friend. If comfort is your goal, find another way to soothe yourself. A warm shower or bath, a cozy blanket, a great playlist. These can be just as comforting as food. Alright, and number three, we need to shift your mindset around food.

8:48 I have tons of episodes about this, but here's a few ways to start to shift that mindset. First and foremost, stop labeling foods as bad or off limits. Honestly, I could just stop right here. This is the whole list. This is a big one. When we make certain foods forbidden, they become even more desirable, which can lead to binging or just overeating them. They also feel scarce and often like a last supper. This is the last time I'll eat this. And from here on out, I'm going to be good. That's a recipe for disaster, but let's be honest. We've probably all said that kind of thing to ourselves. And then we need to learn to sit with discomfort.

9:29 Sometimes we eat to avoid feelings, and instead, I want you to to feel the feelings. Emotions are temporary, as much as your brain wants to tell you that it's never going to go away. They do pass if we allow them to. Allowing your feelings to be present in the body instead of pushing them down with food is a skill, no doubt about it. It's one of the biggest things I coach my clients on. It's quite different than white knuckling your way through the evening without running to the pantry. It's about noticing the craving and not reacting or resisting. You are choosing not to respond to it.

10:10 There's a lot involved with allowing a craving, and it really is an entire unit in my coaching program. So this is just the high level, but, you know, start sitting with it. Start practicing that, try to be present with what you truly want to feel in just 30 minutes from now. Don't worry about your long term goals. When you are having a craving that hardly ever is helpful. You just want to think about how your body will feel. Shortly after eating that food. Here's some final thoughts. Emotional eating doesn't mean you're broken. I'm going to say that again. Emotional eating does not mean you are broken or that something is wrong with you.

10:51 It just means your brain has learned to use food as a coping mechanism. Having cravings is not a problem. They are just another emotion to process. It's the responding habit. That is what we are trying to change, that automatic habit to that craving that we want to kind of attack, if you will. Habits can be unlearned. The key is to get curious, not critical. If you found this episode helpful, I'd love for you to share it with a friend who might need it. And if you're ready to break free from emotional eating and finally create a sustainable approach to food, I invite you to book a consult call with me to see if my full 12 week one on one coaching program is right for you.

11:38 You can schedule it at the link in the show notes. Remember, it's not just about the food. It's about empowering yourself with the choices that truly serve you. Have a great week. And as always, thanks for listening and sharing the eat well, think well, live well podcast.