When You've Tried Everything: Finding Your Forever Way of Eating [Ep. 110]

0:00 This is the eat well think, well live well podcast. I'm Lisa Saulsbury, and this is episode 110. When you've tried everything, finding your forever way of eating. Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food. I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter. I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating. Hello, welcome to the episode today. I am so glad you're here.

0:42 Really truly I am. Thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in today. I did a content survey back in January. And in response to the question about what do you really hope is discussed on the podcast this year? Or what is your burning question about weight loss? She said there are so many options. How do I know what will work for me? I have tried everything. Typically when you save this, it means that you've tried all of the popular or fad diets. You've spent time on weight Watchers, you've downloaded calorie, counting apps and calculated macros. You've tried keto and paleo and intermittent fasting. You've also tried things like I did Obscure diets with random names, like the fast metabolism, diet, or random Omni, something or other.

1:29 I saw that one recently. You feel like you've tried all the diets out there and nothing keeps the weight off. Is this familiar? I hope that she's listening. Here's the thing. All diets that create an energy deficit will work. Meaning they will help you lose weight. So really you can close your eyes and point to one and it would actually technically work. As long as you are in a calorie or energy deficit. What mainstream diets try to create is an energy deficit without much. Effort. They try to keep you eating less without a lot of discomfort. Typically, they do this by requiring a lot of volume meeting.

2:10 This is where the diet prescribes a lot of high volume, low calorie foods like vegetables, some fruits. And filling foods like boiled potatoes, lean proteins, whole grains. Does this sound familiar? This sounds like the eat list from your last diet book you bought, right. If you're doing something more specific like keto or maybe south beach diet, that's extremely low in carbohydrates. And you're getting your filling foods in the way of high fat foods, or sometimes just a lot of lean protein. These diets and hope that you are eating enough volume to fill the stomach and then you won't be hungry. Because your stomach is full with all that broccoli. And so you aren't uncomfortably hungry.

2:51 This is in part due to the hunger hormone ghrelin. It helps to signal when you've consumed enough food, but unfortunately ghrelin cannot measure the calories, eaten. It mostly works on volume and a little bit on the fat content in the food. What this means in practice is that when concentrated foods are consumed, grelin does not recognize the caloric intake and will continue messaging the body that it is hungry. So for example, think about how you feel after eating a regular sized bag of M and M. So this is like not the one that says supersize or sharing or anything. It's just like that standard package. That was just the normal package in the eighties. For energy reference. It's about 230 calories.

3:32 Um, are you full, do you feel satiated? Don't need to eat for several hours? Or are you pretty much feeling the same as before? Yeah, that's what I thought me too. Same as before. Right. Now think about eating 230 calories worth of baby carrots. That would be 20 ounces of baby carrots, one and a quarter. Pounds that would take you a significant amount of time, probably 30 or 45 minutes, maybe longer. I would think to eat them. Plus, how would you feel after your stomach would feel quite full again, in part due to grill in signaling the brain that you've had enough. But it's also this volume eating that popular fat diets try to capitalize on.

4:16 Okay. So when a popular diet says that all vegetables are free, quote unquote, or just requires a certain amount of vegetables per meal. This is to help you feel full on less calories. This is not a bad methodology. Honestly, we should all eat more vegetables, probably. In part, I think this is why most of us feel pretty good in our physical bodies when you're following one of these diets. So, what is the problem here? It sounds like I'm basically saying, just pick a diet, eat some vegetables and follow that, and you'll be fine. Well, no matter what stage of life you were in, whether you are postpartum or post-menopausal or somewhere in between.

4:56 It's true. We need to be taking in less food than we need in the day in order to use some onboard fat storage as fuel. That's how we lose fat. Which is the goal, not just weight loss, but fat loss. We want to keep all the muscle we have. And obviously I always say we can lose weight by cutting off an arm. But strictly speaking weight loss is not the goal. Fat loss is the goal. So we need to evaluate. The diet that you're looking at, or the eating plan for its ability to encourage fat loss over muscle loss. But more importantly than this, more important than the calories you take in every day. Or the number of servings of vegetables you are eating or the volume of food. More important than all of that is the main reason.

5:39 Why these past diet attempts have not worked for you. And why you feel confused about what to choose? And that is that you were not able to continue eating in that same way forever. That is the main problem with all diets. They fail because you fail to continue following them. And me too. I would try a diet and it would quote unquote work for a while and I would lose weight. And then I went on a cruise or attended the reunion or just couldn't take it anymore. And then I stopped eating, like the diet prescribed, and I went back to my pre diet way of eating and turns out. That way of eating was helping me gain weight. Not lose weight.

6:21 So when you are picking away to lose weight, you also need to be thinking. Is this a way I could eat forever. Losing weight is not a lifelong pursuit. But maintaining your healthy weight is so if you want to actually maintain your weight loss, The smartest way to lose the weight you want to lose is to pick something that not only works for weight loss. But that same way of eating with maybe just a little more volume. We'll also work for maintaining that weight loss. So back to the original question, how do I know what will work for me with all the options out there?

7:01 We need to answer that primarily by looking at what is sustainable for you. Here's what I would encourage you to do. Evaluate the diets that you have been on by asking some questions. And this is a way, instead of just saying, okay, none of what I did in the past worked, what I want you to do is to look at what has worked. Out of all of the different things. So we're going to evaluate the things that you've tried. With these questions. Number one, which ones produced slow and steady weight loss. Number two, what diet did my physical body feel the best on? Number three. What way of eating is the most practical? When it comes to my family dynamics and relationships.

7:44 And number four and most important. What way of eating sounds like a way I could maintain forever. Remember, I don't want you to be in a diet. Or on a fat loss phase forever. I just said that weight loss is not a lifelong pursuit, but you do need to create a way of life that enables you to maintain the fat loss. Do you think you can eat keto for the rest of your life? Do you think you want to count macros forever? Do you want to skip breakfast and always intermittent fast? The answer to these questions for me. As a resounding no. So let me go through the answers to those questions for you. Based on my past dieting experience and show you how this might go for you.

8:25 Okay. Question one was which I produced slow and steady weight loss. There are several that would qualify here, but probably the most reliable for me was either south beach diet, especially phase one and two and counting macros. I also lost weight on crazy shakes and pills type plans, as well as a few dramatic calorie reduction type plans. Um, I also lost weight on several different fad diets that I won't list all the names of because you don't need to be Googling them and trying them they're dumb. Here's your probably have several things on this list. If you were a chronic diet or like iOS. Okay. Question two, we'll narrow it down a little bit more. What diet did my physical body feel the best on?

9:09 So no question, the shakes and pills, diets, as well as the drastic calorie reduction plans are right out to, for this question, because I did not feel good on those. South beach prioritizes, low carbohydrates and county macros was higher protein than I was used to eating, but both had a lot of vegetables and a moderate amount of fruit. I had good energy on both of these eating plans and I didn't have any Weird symptoms like hair falling out or acne or body aches. So I would cross out the rest and probably leave these two on my list. Question three. What way of eating is the most practical when it comes to my family dynamics and relationships, and also include work schedule here too.

9:53 The problem with county macros. For me, when it came to family relationships is that I would get real mad. If someone came by and ate one of my grapes that I had already counted out and locked. I know I was crazy. I also was bringing my kitchen scale to the table to weigh my portion at dinner. And I started to realize that wasn't how I wanted to show up as a mom in front of my girls. South beach diet didn't require any food Wayne. So I didn't have to deal with that. So in a way it was good for eating with the family. But since I was eating very few carbs, I was eating separate things as my family was sometimes it's not hard. Like on taco night, I would give them tortillas and have mine on a salad. But when it comes to pasta night, I started cooking whole wheat pasta because that's what was allowed and no one liked it.

10:40 So neither one of these plans is really scoring high here on the family dynamics. I'm feeling like I have to cross both of these off my list, except that here's where I want you to get nuanced. Start to look at specific ways. These diets worked for your family. Like my example of taco night. The thing that worked for macro counting for me was that I could actually make whatever meal I wanted, including pasta, as long as I had a portion that fit within my day. I also began altering some recipes to increase the protein, to meet my macros, but increase protein. Didn't bother anyone in my family. So that was fine too. Both of these plans worked sometimes, and then sometimes they didn't. That's okay.

11:20 Is there answering these questions? This is the time to start writing down specifically what worked and what didn't about them, even down to foods and, and actual meals. Because if you haven't guessed by now, we're actually creating your own best plan and it won't have a name that sounds like a great book title. It will just have your name. The other thing I noticed about these two plans is that I like some specific recipes I make frequently for breakfast and lunches just for me. These don't affect my family dynamics as my kids are older and we don't eat those meals together. So maybe there's a specific bag salad you like, or a breakfast scramble you ate every day on a past diet that you actually love.

12:03 Write those down as working for you, even if the rest of that diet didn't, this is where you also could pull from diets that you may be crossed off in question one or two, if you're like, oh, But I really loved that one protein shake that I made on this diet. I actually really loved that for breakfast. Write that down. So notice what foods and meals fit seamlessly into your family. And now, as you are listing them, you are wondering. Yeah, why don't I still eat those? That's a good thing to include on your list. We don't need to throw out every single thing we did on a past failed quote-unquote failed diet because that diet didn't work for me. Get really curious here about what you liked and what worked really well for your family and for your work schedule.

12:48 Question four. This is the important one. What way of eating sounds like a way I could maintain forever. Here's where I want you to continue to pick and choose the parts of the previous plans that worked well. This is a continuation of what I was doing in the last question, but really think through what is feasible to continue. For example, eating higher protein requires me to keep more lean meats and protein powder on hand. That's doable. But eating low carb, like south beach requires that I give up more fruits and grains than I want to. This is where I can lean on the idea of macro county. And know that I can definitely eat these foods as long as I'm not over eating them.

13:29 It's unlikely that any one diet that you've tried in the past is going to be exactly the way you're going to eat forever. I for sure am never, ever going to count my macros strictly with a scale and a food logging app and all of that. I'm not going to do that anymore, but it doesn't mean I can't take some of the valuable ideas that I learned. You all for sure. Be customizing your plan into your own life. And what is doable forever will look different for you than it does for me. You just want to avoid the idea that you're going to lose weight on a diet and then go back to eating the way you previously did, and think you're going to maintain that weight loss. What sounds reasonable for long-term protein goals for you?

14:11 Or fruit intake or added sugar. That's what I've actually really changed since my dieting days, I used to eat a lot of added sugar foods. And then when I dieted all that had to go. And I would live for sugar-free pudding, which is gross. So I've decided what sounds reasonable for me, longterm. Was that I would eliminate added sugar from my meals as much as humanly possible. So I don't need added sugar cereal for breakfast. I make my own sourdough bread. I make my own salad dressings. There are several places where sugar hides and I've tried to eliminate that. Spaghetti sauce is another big culprit. If you read the label on common grocery store brands, they will often have several types of sugar in the first few ingredients.

14:53 But this way, I then have room to have a sugar added food, like a cookie or a piece of chocolate and not be over the guideline of 25 grams of added sugar per day. So the us dietary guidelines recommends that less than 10% of our daily calories come from added sugar. So that's roughly about 50 grams of sugar per day, but the American heart association and many menopause experts like Dr. Mary Claire Haver. Never recommend women limit added sugars to actually less than 5% of their total daily calories. So this amounts to about 25 grams or less of added sugar per day, that's based on a 2000 calorie diet. But that's the number I aim for and keyword there being aim.

15:34 Some days I eat less. Some days I eat more, but over the week, I'm pretty steady at that 25 grams of added sugar per day. And so I've changed the way I eat during the day to allow for that added sugar item. This is, that's a little bit of a tangent, but see how I'm looking at different parts of my way of eating and creating a guideline for myself. That is based on sound recommendations. Not just the do's and don'ts in a diet book. Remember this, as you are creating your plan, the goal for weight loss. Is not to eat as little as possible. Let me restate that. The goal for weight loss is to not eat as little as possible.

16:14 That is the goal of fad diets and aggressive eating plants. Your goal. Is not to eat as little as possible. Your goal is actually to eat as much as possible. While staying in a tiny energy deficit. That's how you create slow and steady and maintainable weight loss. Finally, the only way to ensure you don't lose weight the way you want to. Is to stop caring. It's fine. If you need to take a break now, and again, from the mental load of working on your weight loss. But I want you to never stop caring about your health and longevity. Keep your eye on that and do things that are going to help your health span, match your lifespan.

16:56 Namely maintain a healthy body weight, lift weights, and eat protein to maintain healthy amounts of muscle and keep moving your body. In a way that works for you. I hope this helps you ditch your past diets drop the idea that there is a perfect diet plan out there. And have courage to create your own plan based on your preferences, your lifestyle, family dynamics, work schedule, and your own food tastes. If you need help creating your plan. this is actually exactly what I do for clients. We work on their food plan together. We look at what they are currently eating and see where they want to make changes. And we do that. Just one little thing at a time, which is a little bonus tip as well.

17:37 Make these changes into your new way of eating just a little at a time. I can help you and I'll coach your brain along the way when it fights you on this, because it will, that's a whole other episode. But just expect that. Schedule a free coaching session with me and let's see what we can accomplish for you together. Link is in the show notes, have a great week and as always, thanks for listening and sharing the eat well think. Well live well podcast.