Stress and Hormones with Ali Damron [Ep. 38]

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So it's not like these are huge stressors that people are gonna be like, oh my God, I'm so stressed. But again, it's a cumulative effort of like, each and every little thing. Mm-hmm. that happens during the day. So like some of the physical stressors and then we're perfectionists or we're thinking that our boss is upset with us and we're telling ourselves this big story about it. And then we get an email that's urgent and then we're in traffic and then we have to take kids everywhere. And then, you know, it just is a cumulative effort all day.

Lisa: 1:48

Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food. I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter. I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating.

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All right. Welcome back to the Eat Well Think Well Live Well podcast. My guest today is Ali Damron and I am super excited. She's a hormone health expert. I think hormones are just something I don't know enough about. So I am always excited when I have a guest that knows so much more than I do about this. So, I'm gonna let her introduce herself and tell us how she came to this work, and then we'll get into some of our discussion. Absolutely. Thanks so much for having me. So, like you said, my name's Ali Damron. I am a hormone expert. I actually am an acupuncturist. Um, I live in the Denver, Colorado area. I have always had an online business. And then during Covid I just, we got shut down with acupuncture. Mm-hmm. And so I just was able, uh, You know, blessed to fill up my schedule. And so now I'm just solely virtual, um, doing group coaching programs, digital courses, and my one-on-one consultation. So in those, I focus a lot on just really the whole gamut of women's health. So women come to me for. Energy issues or just feeling tired or having an afternoon energy crash so they can't sleep anymore. Their mood, they're having like mood swings or more anxiety overwhelm, feeling really stressed. Maybe they're noticing, um, digestive stuff like bloating a lot or constipation, those types of things. Maybe their periods have changed and they are struggling with a lot of PMs symptoms, a lot of irregular periods, A lot of, you know, short cycles, like any of those types of things. Um, I really work with, and I kind of came into this, so I, I studied acupuncture, um, which is a whole system of medicine and we do a lot of different things. So we do, you know, generalized medicine, we do pain, we do e n T stuff, we do digestion, we do all the things. And, um, I was actually pregnant in acupuncture school, and so it was kind of like my first introduction, I would say, into kind of like fertility. Pregnancy, postpartum and all of that. And so it really, I just felt like a huge need for women. I think that women just aren't supported in the way that I would hope. a lot of us are, I think, unheard kind of unvalidated. We might be feeling like certain ways and people are just like, well, you know, you're a mom or you're a woman, or this is just like what happens. Mm-hmm. And I just feel like we kind of get brushed off in different ways and just don't feel great. And I know, I'm sure you know too, that. When you're running a family, you're trying to run a business or a career and a house and a marriage and like all the things, it really stinks to not feel good while you're doing it. Like it's a really busy, very labor intensive life that I think a lot of women lead. And I think it, the quality of life could be so much better for everybody's around. If women felt energetic, didn't have to dread one to two weeks of the month, every single month could sleep at night, their moods felt reasonably stable. Like I think that those things really do impact women in a huge way. And I'm really just kind of like on a mission to tell you that we can fix this. There is a root cause of things. You don't have to just get over it or just kind of suck it. Yeah, just cuz things are common doesn't make it normal. Right. And I think that is just so important just because a lot of your friends are dealing with bloating. It doesn't make it normal just cuz everyone is constipated or everyone is stressed or like, doesn't make it normal. It's not really the way our bodies were supposed to function. And I feel like this, what you're saying about women being brushed off has been like part of just my. Growing up years is because my mom told me years and years ago, probably not when I was living at home, probably more in the time where I was having kids, which she said, yeah, I went to my doctor when you all you kids were little. And I just said, you know, I'm so tired and this and that and like something's wrong with me. And he goes, oh yeah, I know what you have. It's called motherhood and. Like that was literally his answer. Like, yeah, this is just, it's just the way it is and, and so guess what? I just thought that was the way it was like, I guess this is just the way it is. Like this just motherhood and. You know, it is difficult and I have some amount of amnesia, I think from those early months of, I mean, I mean the kids, because I mean, I was thinking this morning as I saw someone who's just three months postpartum and just really struggling with some like block ducks with her, you know, trying to nurse and she's like, how are there so many humans on the world? Like, how, how do people like do this? And I thought, Okay. If I really think about it, like I had mastitis twice. I was in the ER with, with my one child as, as soon as they called me back and I stood up, I fainted. I was so dehydrated, so fevery like, yeah, but I still like, was like, well, I have to nurse. Like it was crazy what I, you know, just what we go through as women. And so, and not to mention even when we're over, Quote unquote, that part of the, you know, the early newborn time. Then we deal with hormones fluctuating through our bodies, uh, constantly, constantly, uh, all month. And then like each decade or each, you know, few years mm-hmm. like there is a big, um, hormonal shift too. So yeah, I think that there is a lot going on. And, and to your point with your mom's doctor, like. It can be motherhood, but like let's figure out a way to like support women through. A lot of different ways, like we can use herbs and supplements and stuff. I always say you cannot out supplement your lifestyle, so let's find ways to support moms so that we don't have so much on our plate that just makes us feel dead to the bone. And you know, there's just, there's a lot of components to this, I think, that create these symptoms for women. And like I said, I. I'm kind of like on a mission to teach women how to basically calm down their own nervous systems because we can talk about it, but like when your nervous system is really jacked up and very hyper-vigilant due to all the stress and all the pressure that moms are under, it starts to deplete a lot of hormones. It starts to create more inflammation. It starts to make us not be able to sleep. Our moods change, our periods change, our energy levels change. pain can occur like a whole bunch of cascades can happen. which lead us down this, this path. So again, mm-hmm. In fairness to your mom's doctor, like, probably so. Some of it's true. Yeah. But like, let's, let's do better. Right. Let's figure that out. Okay. Well let's, let's do, get into that specifically. Yeah. Like you, you kind of alluded to it, but in, in what way specifically does the emotion of stress. Which emotion is the way I teach that is really just a cascade of chemicals coming through the body from a thought. Mm-hmm. how does that impact our hormones? And let me clarify too. It's not that I'm saying well just change your thought and you won't have stress. That's not right? It's not really the way it works. We can work on our thoughts, and I do teach a way to do that through the model, but the fact is that a lot of us are going to have. Circumstances that, that lead us to thoughts that are going to be stressful. no matter how we think about it, stress is going to be part of it. Absolutely. So, so a few things here. So I talk about how stress can be physical, mental, and emotional stress. So first off, I think the lower hanging fruit, honestly, is usually the physical stressors. Now, obviously when you have a newborn, like sleep is hard to get, but as we get our kids out of kind of like that stage, lack of sleep is a huge stressor on the body. And likewise, sleep is really helpful for replenishing your body, kind of resetting things that reset your blood sugar or your insulin levels. It helps you produce human growth hormone, which is really helpful for anti-aging and energy. It helps to lower your cortisol level, which we all need a break from. That stress response during the day helps produce melatonin, which is also an antioxidant. So it does, and that's just like it detoxes. There's. That's just like the tip of the iceberg. Mm-hmm. um, sleep. So, you know, lack of sleep is gonna be a stressor on the body. Other things are, you know, you talk about this a lot in your work, but like food, like, let's try to get our minerals in. Let's try to get micronutrients in. I am in no stretch a perfectionist with food. I've been there through acupuncture school actually. I got into what probably should have been diagnosed as like orthorexia, um, with just being very nervous about food. Um, and I've definitely walked a whole lot way back from that. But, you know, when we are under more stress, our body, think about like the stress, response. It takes a lot of energy from us to be in that state of stress all the time. And so you're constantly using a lot of minerals and resources. So if we can eat our good lean proteins, we can eat our fruits and vegetables, we can you know, get enough sodium in, we can do those things. That's really, really helpful at supporting your body. And giving it what it needs to kind of burn through the stress. Does that make sense? Yeah. So when we're not eating a quality diet, that's what a physical, that's what you're saying is a physical stressor? Can be, yeah. Okay. Yeah. you know, over exercise, under exercise, overeating, undereating, those are also all physical stressors, injuries and illnesses, surgeries, c-sections, like those things are also going to be like the physical stressors. So I actually think that, While some of those can be challenging to to correct. I actually think that those are the lower hanging fruits in comparison to our thoughts, our brain can do a whole bunch of things and can be more challenging. Yeah. Um, so that's kind of that. So then we talk about more like the mental and emotional stressors. So I always tell my patients that, It's like our perception of these things. So you hear people like my husband and I'll be in the same situation. He is not really a stressful type of person and like our kids are doing whatever, and he is like, oh, that's fine. And I'm like, you know, stressed about it. Cuz my perception of it is very different than his, um, totally. My husband and I have two very different opinions about the state of my teenager's bedroom. I'm like, yeah. You know, her floor, it's called a wardrobe. It's fine. And he's like, no, Yeah. And it's the same situation and he's totally stressed about it. And I'm like, Exactly. So that's a perfect example of like our perception is going to create our reality. And also our reality is what's going to create your brain to say, Hey, we don't think she can cope with this very well. We need some extra help here. And that's where like the cortisol and adrenaline kind of come into play. So I always tell my patients like, Other things that really can create a more hyper-vigilant type of brain and nervous system are things like perfectionism, people pleasing, putting a lot of pressure on yourself, toxic relationships or lack of boundaries. Those things are really kind of like trauma responses of things that we probably learned as children that are probably like, that's the lens which we're viewing life through. Mm-hmm. So like for perfectionists, if everything has to be perfect, And like, I'll give you an example. Myself, I'm, I call myself a recovering perfectionist. I'd probably give you examples all day, but when I was pregnant and nursing, my oldest who's 10, I was like, I just got outta acupuncture school and I was like, okay, I have to make all these perfect decisions. Like there's all the decisions around labor and delivery and breastfeeding and food and all the things, right? And so I was like, okay, I have to breastfeed. I have to do delayed cord clamping. I have to do this, this, this, and like all these perfect things. And my brain's perception was like, if this doesn't happen or if this isn't occurring, then. Something's really dangerous. Like it's wrong, it's bad. And so that would send me into like the state of anxiety. Mm-hmm. Um, and so it wasn't until I started to recognize that pattern and kind of say like, okay, even though I would like this to go this way, if it's not this way, it's okay. Things don't have to be perfect to be okay. Um, and that really in a nutshell helped to kind of make my nervous system calm down, that even though things weren't exactly how I wanted, it didn't have to be perfect for my nervous system to not. Fire all of this adrenaline through my system. Yeah. I can totally see that too with like the orthorexia because I would say what you said, like probably should have been diagnosed as orthorexia. That's exactly where I feel like I was as well. In fact, when I learned about that and my health coaching certification, my study partner was like, Hey there, do you see anything that you maybe recognize? Cause I. Still like kind of, you know, in that state when I was doing that certification. And so I think that it's, it's just a perfectionist tendency with food and just so then when you know you aren't getting it right, you're not hitting your macros plus or minus five every day. Like it was a huge stress factor for me. Mm-hmm. And when I finally took a step back from that and just was like, like you. it's okay for it not to be perfect. It's okay for me to make different choices. Like that was, that was stressful to take those first steps and then such a relief. I was gonna say like initially when you decide to kind of stop that, like it is a problem. It's very uncomfortable. Mm-hmm. Um, and I was gonna say that too, like that was a really great example of that cuz you become like fearful of food. So like, for me mm-hmm. like sugar became the devil's seed oils, gluten, dairy, processed food, like any of that stuff. And my family didn't eat that way. Like I didn't grow up eating that way. My husband didn't eat that way. We went to restaurants and so that sort of, situation was very co like around me a lot. Mm-hmm. Um, and so every time I looked at that I'd be like, oh my God. Like, what am I gonna do? Am I gonna put this in my body? Am I gonna be like that weird person that doesn't eat that? Am I gonna be like really hard to get along with here? Um, which I'm also a people pleaser, so there was a whole bunch of things going on in my brain that made my brain kind of like, produce a lot of stress chemicals from that. And so we, we teach our brain. That, like those patterns and teach it like, okay, this is scary. You need to produce adrenaline and cortisol from this now. Mm-hmm. So over time when you do that, think about like, I always give the example of like thinking you're in a burning building. So that's like obviously a big example of this, but you're in this burning building and. You need to get out of it and think about how much energy that takes, right? Like you're producing tons of, you're leaching glucose outta your liver and muscles. There's certain like blood flow patterns that happen. So like blood and oxygen leave your brain and you can't really logically think anymore. Emotional regulation, memory, word recall, all of that stuff turns off so that your brain can be in this like hypervigilant, kind of like lizard type of mind. Mm-hmm. So think about a lizard, like look at about a lizard. They either run or freeze. They don't think about, oh, this human may not hurt me. It might be okay. They just. Go or stay. Um, and that's sort of like what's running the show for us in our brain when we're in that state and extremely dysregulated. And so when we think about being in this burning building, that's all we can think about is getting outta that building and we're screaming. We're moody. We're not patient, we're not calm, we are not digesting food well. We're not doing anything else but trying to save our own life. And so on a, that's obviously a big example. Hopefully none of us are in that situation regularly, but. If you're late, you're in the car, you are, you know, responding to the urgency culture in an email, your boss is screaming at you, your kids are screaming at you. Those are all situations that could cause that same response. And so a lot of women come and they're like, I'm really irritable and snappy and moody and in my like startle, reflux, like I get really like startled really easily and I'm just always on edge and I'm exhausted. And if my kids drop Play-Doh on the floor, I'm screaming at them and I can't make it through my workouts anymore. And I am craving sugar and I'm like, think about. The fear or the stress response that you're asking your body to live in all day, like that's gonna take a lot of energy. And so a lot of those resources from your body have to go to that place. Mm-hmm. And like I said, with the mood stuff, I think a lot of women struggle with mood stuff. And I think, I mean, if you're in that fight or flight response, like you're not gonna be patient and loving and calm, you're gonna be like, let's go, let's get outta here. And that's kinda what's like running the show for a lot of women. So we have all this stress and then. what is happening with the hormones? And when you say like, with, with our hormones, are we talking mostly about like the cortisol type hormones? Are we also talking about what most people consider female hormones, estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and those kinds of things? Mm-hmm. So both. So when you think about hormones, I want you to think about it as a pyramid. So the very bottom of the pyramid is gonna be insulin, which is your blood sugar, cortisol, which is at stress hormone, and adrenaline, which is your fight or flight response. So when those three things are, in, check everything up the chain like your cor, your estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, D H E A, melatonin, neurotransmitters, inflammatory molecules, all of that has a much better shot at being in place. If the bottom three are out of whack, there's really no chance that the upper three or the upper levels can be in a good place. Mm-hmm. because when? We need a bunch of cortisol, for example, like it can start to steal from progesterone and D H E A and testosterone. So when I see labs of women who don't have a lot of hormones, I'm like, your body is very stressed. We gotta get that stress response dial down. We gotta get your brain to realize that your world is safe, so that it's able to then produce all of those hormones that are gonna make you feel good too. So we're kind of talking about both and it's like this cascade that leads to each one. Does that make sense? Yeah. So that's how when we are in that stress state, it's affecting our, actually the female hormones because our cortisol and those things are not, not in balance as the base. Exactly, yep. So you can start to notice like your periods get different. So sometimes if you're been under a stressor for like a month or longer, your pm m s is way worse. Like your stress are more tender, you're more anxious, or you're, you know, not sleeping great before your period. You're more crampy. Those things can be worse. You may notice, um, you know, like your period coming every two weeks, you're like, oh my gosh, I just had one. Like why am I getting this weird period and it's probably due. I thought that was I thought that was just perimenopause coming on for me. Well, I was like, what? What is this? Two weeks? That also could happen too. So yes, the caveat here is during perimenopause. Perimenopause is really defined as like the two to 12 years before you go through menopause. So it can be a two to 12. However, you don't have to put up with that if that's happening, where you're getting a cycle, like every really shorter than like 21 days. 21 days should be. Bare minimum that your cycle will go and it sh you should find a nice baseline for yourself. So if that, if you've been somebody that's like a 30 day cycle, maybe like 28 days, but it shouldn't go back down to 21 and then up to 35 and then 60, and then 12, like that's an estrogen issue. Mm-hmm. um, and progesterone, those two are in a good ratio in your cycle, and so there's things we can do to support your progesterone. De decrease estrogen and get that regulated. Okay. Yeah. Good. Yeah, don't put up with that. It just happened once, actually, recently and I was like, oh, welcome to perimenopause, I guess. Um, but it's not like a regular issue for me, but I'm sure it can be for others out there listening. Cause I think perimenopause is probably most of my listeners where their age group. Yeah. Um, so how, how does this then affect our energy versus fatigue? because that is actually one of the most common, when I have clients come in, we always set up like three goals. We don't just do a weight loss goal. There's always other things that are going on. And the second most common goal is energy. I wanna have more energy, and for the most part, when we're getting. Better quality nutrition in, they feel better. So that's just kind of surface layer what, but also doing some of the coaching that we're doing, I think is helping to reduce their stress. So I think I'm inadvertently doing this, but tell me how, what the mechanisms are for stress impacting our energy and feeling. Totally. So that's one of the biggest things for my patients too, that they just feel tired. Um, and some people feel tired all day. Like it just, they wake up groggy. It never gets better. Um, some people wake up groggy and then they feel okay, and then they have an afternoon energy crash. And it, it can be a little bit different for each person. So cortisol, our stress hormone, remember, it's part of the circadian rhythm. So when we wake up in the morning, cortisol has been bottomed out all night to let us sleep. Well, melatonin has taken over, which is our sleep hormone. And so when we wake up, Within 30 to 60 minutes, we should get this nice cortisol awakening response, which is where you get like a big rise in cortisol. So you probably notice like, okay, you feel kind of groggy and then once you get up and get going, like, okay, we're good for the day. That's, that's what should happen. Again, if you're not feeling that, you're probably not getting a good cortisol awakening response in which we need to work on circadian rhythm and your stress response. Then after that cortisol awakening response in a normal person, you sort of like start to go down. Slowly throughout the day so that you can have it go all the way down for bed at night again. So there is actually a decent crash of cortisol normally in the afternoon, which is why like other countries take siestas and like. Have that afternoon, little bit of a reprieve, and then their body kind of regulates and then they go on with the rest of their day. I always think that like expectations are a big part of this because I have patients who get up at five or four 30 to work out and then run with coffee, get the kids out the door, have a super stressful morning, eat lunch like 3:00 PM of an energy crash. Might be nine hours into their day. Or 10 hours even. You know what I mean? And so I think just kind of recognizing like where you are, um, is important so that you don't expect to just have straight on energy for like 12 hours a day. Like, that's not Yeah. Realistic expectation, right? Setting that expectation that like, oh, this is normal. Like it's, it's normal that I am having an energy crash. It's normal that I'm hungry right now because it's been some time, like nothing's gone wrong. Right, exactly. So sometimes I, I first start there with like, what is the expectation? Because in our culture, like productivity, urgency, like we have a very unhealthy relationship to that. Mm-hmm. And so it's not to say that like you should feel just like death every afternoon and like you can't even keep your eyes open. Like that is a bit of a crash. So I start with like, and I think you do this too, but like regulating blood sugar. Mm-hmm. So are you on like this rollercoaster where you're not getting enough fiber and not getting enough protein and it's making your blood sugar crash, which is therefore going to make you feel tired. Mm-hmm. So I think eating in regular intervals throughout the day is helpful. Again, look at your hunger scale. You don't have to eat every two hours, but. Don't let yourself get to on your scale like a negative five, right? Or like a negative six, you know what I mean? Like that is gonna make you feel tired. so eating enough protein and fiber, eating in regular intervals for you is good. And then also minerals. So a lot of us are dehydrated, and when we don't have enough magnesium, calcium, sodium, and potassium, that also makes us tired. Those are like spark plugs that create energy in our body. So for people who just drink plain water or just drink coffee, which is more dehydrating all day. I encourage women to do like, either electrolytes when they're tired. Mm-hmm. so either like morning and afternoon or I love to do, this is kinda like a trendy thing now, but something called sole water or adrenal cocktail, which is mm-hmm. your sodium and potassium, so like coconut water with a little bit of orange juice and some sea salt is really helpful at getting those minerals in there. And a lot of people are like, well, I don't want the. glucose in that is how that gets into your cell. Yeah. So we actually want the glucose there. And just as a side note here, I know Ali just covered this with a guest on minerals. I just listened to her podcast about minerals and it was so good. So I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, all of this. So if you want a little more, I'll link that episode in the show notes because it was really helpful on all of this mineral. Yeah, so minerals are, are super cool, um, and can be really helpful at how our bodies work. I just also, I know you guys talked a little bit about this, but I just started, drinking that LMNT, and I know you said it's a little low in potassium, but, um, for everything else, I thought it was great and I have such low blood pressure. I think it's actually really been helping to just really up that good quality salt content. So I've been, I've been really happy with that. I just got like a trial pack and I'm like, ah, I think I'm gonna do this Yeah. Yeah. We drink it here too. Like, my husband's an Iron Man. Mm-hmm. um, he trains for that and so that's what he drinks all day too. and that's what. That culture of people drink, so, yeah. Um, so yeah, we drink it over here too, but you could put a little bit of coconut water like Tina in that episode said too. That's a great source of potassium. So those are like some quick, like quick and dirty, like nutritional type of things to do. Mm-hmm. other things for energy are, again, if you think about. We've all felt emotionally exhausted before where you like have had this huge stressor and you're just like, oh. And that's how our body's like kind of designed to be. So when we're in that burning building, it needs time to come back down, sort of like regather the nutrients, like all those minerals, calm everything else down and kind of be for a minute before the next thing happens. A lot of us go from. Like, it's really interesting to me. A lot of people are very triggered by like email and notifications. Mm-hmm. like even just like they have. They have to grab 'em. Yeah, they have to respond really quickly and like they get one and they're like, oh God, I gotta do this. And again, these are like micro little like tiny things, like stressors in the day. So it's not like these are huge stressors that people are gonna be like, oh my God, I'm so stressed. But again, it's a cumulative effort of like, each and every little thing. Mm-hmm. that happens during the day. So like some of the physical stressors and then we're perfectionists or we're thinking that our boss is upset with us and we're telling ourselves this big story about it. And then we get an email that's urgent and then we're in traffic and then we have to take kids everywhere. And then, you know, it just is a cumulative effort all day. I think of a lot of stress and. I don't think that we're letting ourselves ever come down enough from that to like recover. Yeah. And so over time you feel, first you start to feel tired, but wired like your adrenaline's still going and you know that you're tired, but you're just like going, and then after that stage you do just get burnt out and you're just tired. Mm-hmm. I think too, not just like cumulative throughout the day, but cumulative too. Like in the weeks and months and like years of our life, I am thinking how you're talking about physical versus emotional stress. And the other day my teenagers was like, well, like it's easier to have teenagers, right? Than when you had toddlers like, cuz we pretty much take care of ourselves. and my husband and I just looked at each other and we're like, yeah, toddlers are physically stressful, physically demanding. Like young kids, you know, you're taking care of their bodies as well, so it's very physical. You're feeding them, you're bathing them, blah, blah, blah. Teenagers like, man, they'll, they're emotionally demanding. Mm-hmm. like all the time. And so I think of. Like cycle too as parenting. Like you go through that physical and now I'm getting fairly good sleep, so like I feel like I'm physically recovering, but like the emotional demands of teenagers and I have adult children as well and just, yeah, like think, just thinking about them even though they don't live with me is they are still like a, a, a. And Yeah. Yeah. And, and I don't mean that in a bad way. Like I just wanna think about them and mm-hmm. I mean, you know, I feel like it would be weird if I didn't worry sometimes. Yeah, no, a hundred percent. I always say that too, like there's a lot of research about this, but moms have. Like d n a, even from our children, from when we carried them. And we also have hormone called oxytocin that like is there to bond with your children and it's really, really strong. And for some women, um, it can create anxiety because their bond is so strong and they're so attached to that being. But I do think, like, I think that's a normal thing. I think sometimes women can cross to be abnormal to where we need to work through that, so they're not feeling so anxious about their kids. But, but yeah. I actually was recently talking to my, um, mom. I, so my kids are seven and 10, and we're supposed to be in like this lull of parenting where like things are fairly easy. from toddlerhood to teenage years. And I'm like, if this is easy, like, whew. I got some, something coming my way for sure. Cuz my 10 year old. So emotional and there is drama every day. Mm-hmm. And it's just, it's like your drama, you know? As a mom it like becomes you too, and you're like, mm-hmm. ugh. Yeah. It's a whole thing. Yeah, totally. So, okay, this is like a lot. Everyone's feeling like, yeah, yeah. So what do we do? Like what are some solutions? Yeah, like, I mean, managing stress feels like a. Somewhat of a buzzword and also like, well, all we can do is manage it. Like it feels like we should. There should be more like how, how can we really like take control of it or, I just want a better word than just manage. Totally. Because manage feels like I'm just moving it around. You know what I mean? Absolutely. So I think this has become a really buzzy thing. So I think that there's, it's a really multifaceted approach. First off. So like I said, first look at the physical stressors. Like if you're intermittent fasting, for example, like take that off your plate. If you're already feeling stressed and you're doing that, That's like a really low hanging fruit to just like, stop. Mm-hmm. if you're drinking copious amounts of caffeine to just keep your system jacked up all day. Again, work your way back there. So there are, I'm gonna interrupt you. Sorry. Yeah. Oh, give, gimme a number there on copious amounts of coffee. So I generally recommend. If you can like one cup of coffee in the morning. Okay. Like a normal 250, so it's like a oh 250. Okay. Just cuz there's so many different energy drinks out there and so, so 1 250 milligram would be considered. I think Okay. Normal. Okay. I think it's fine. Cause that is where, again, remember that cortisol awakening response, you already have a high one. So that sort of just goes with your natural circadian rhythm. It might jacket it up a little bit more. Um, but you really want to stop drinking caffeine eight hours before you go to bed. Mm-hmm. because that's how long some people take to metabolize that, and you really don't wanna get into the pattern where you're having that afternoon latte, then sleeping like crap. Then you're exhausted. More caffeine. okay, sorry. So I interrupted. So that's another one, like avoiding copious amounts of caffeine. Okay. Yeah. So then we get into more. of, I think the things that are harder and take more self-awareness. So I think that, I always tell my patients to start with, and I think you talk about this a lot with like emotional eating and stuff, but like the self-awareness of thoughts are incredibly important. So if you know that you're being triggered by email, for example, like we gotta teach your brain, the email is a safe thing. So when you get an email, instead of responding within five seconds of it, like letting that sit there for a minute and teaching your brain, Hey, you know what? This is fine that this is sitting here. We are, okay. This might feel really uncomfortable. We might be anxious that it's here at first, but the more that we buy into that catastrophic thinking about that, we're just reinforcing those patterns over and over and over. So I, I tell my patients to pick one to two. Big things like that and really start to work on that. So sometimes like numbing out to scrolling the phone at night before bed, like, how can we get the phone outta your room so that you can sleep better? Because the phone also is very stimulating. I don't think our brains are meant to take in that much information that quickly. I think that's also a trigger for the nervous system. It's blue light, obviously, and. I don't know about you, but like I very rarely leave social media feeling like real great I mean, there's a lot of times that it's either like the comparison trap, the shoulds, like you should be doing more. Something triggered you. Like just be very careful of the content you're consuming when you're consuming it. Like we have to be responsible about that too, I think. Mm-hmm. if kids are a trigger, like getting your kids out the door in the morning are a trigger. I know that's a big, you know, stressful time for a lot of people just getting to work on time or kids out the door, whatever, like. Wake up earlier, have a slower morning, set expectations with your kids. Like find the times of your day that suck the most, that cause that a big, huge adrenaline spike and start to work through how can we make this better? Could we delegate? Could we delete certain tasks? Can we just have our kids do things differently? Could we change the mindset of things? So when your kids are yelling at you for whatever, not getting their clothes cleaned or whatever, like, could you just. your only job is to like keep yourself outta that fight or flight response in that time, so they can yell and scream, but the more that you engage and get into that fight or flight response, a, it makes the situation worse for the kids because you're both not logically thinking, but B, it jacks up that nervous system more. Mm-hmm. So I think it's, mm-hmm. the first step about this is truly recognizing when you are in that place and how can. give yourself messages of safety versus danger. Yeah. So we're gonna be late. We're gonna be late. Okay. What's the worst case scenario? If you're late? Yeah. You walk your kids into school or they're late for their practice, they probably learn a lesson, but it feels like this big, you know, catastrophic thing to be late. Does that make sense? Yeah. And I like how you're just like, Just pick one thing right now. Just yeah. Pick the one thing that it seems to be the, the pinnacle of the day that's really causing the most, and I like the idea too, of deleting when you say like, what can we delete? I, that's what I have done with my notifi notifications on my phone. That used to be like a huge issue that the amount of notifications that come automatically I have just turned off. I would say probably 95%. I get very few notifications except for things I intentionally, my calendar notifies me like, Hey, you should be here. Thank you. I need that but I don't need to know that Old Navy emailed me. I just don't need to know that. Right. Like, yeah, it is like this, it's like perpetuating this like urgency, like what's, you know, this like buzzing or this beeping in your face? Yeah. All day long. but yeah, so I know that that was not like a very. Tactical, like do this now thing. But I do think that everyone has to just sort of like take a step. Bird's eye view and do an inventory. Mm-hmm. like, where is this coming from? That's what I always ask all my patients, like, you know, if we do a, a cortisol test and their cortisol looks either high or low, I'm like, Hey, this is stress. Where is this stress coming from? Are you a perfectionist? Are you people pleaser? Type A? We go through that. Are the mornings work evenings? You know, bedtime, like where is this stress coming from and how can we find solutions to that? Mm-hmm. I'm not trying to overhaul your whole life in one day. Like this is what I talk about too with, with my client's nutrition. We're not trying to overhaul your nutrition all in the first week. We just pick one thing to start with. Mm-hmm. one little thing. So maybe it is bath time. We're just gonna come up with a new bath time routine, if that's the thing that just sends you over the edge every day. Mm-hmm. totally. And I always say this to people and I, I think that it can be hard, hard message to hear at first, but this is like your life's work. Like there are always going to be, like you said, like new stages in parenting, new things that happen, aging parents, differences in careers and businesses or financial statuses or any of those things. And so it's learning how to recognize those and like how can we change the perspective. It's not repressing emotions. It's changing the perspective of this. Like, okay, this sucks. This is stressful. This is hard. I'm really angry about this. I'm grieving this, but we are going to be okay. You are safe even though this is uncomfortable. Like kind of just giving yourself those messages Yes. Of environment and safety. Yes. Versus, oh my God, I'm so anxious and this is so terrible, and what are we gonna do? And like just buying into the catastrophes that we tell ourself. Yeah, yeah. You are safe. and it's uncomfortable. Like it's okay for things to be uncomfortable. Mm-hmm. I, you know, life is 50 50. We do have about half positive, about half negative emotions. Our brain emphasizes or prioritizes the negative cuz those are the ones that are gonna kill us. or so it thinks. Absolutely. Yeah. But we really are having about 50 50. It's just learning to feel those negative emotions and realizing nothing has actually gone wrong. It's totally normal to be sad right now. I, I always think like, like I said earlier, like it would be weird if I didn't worry sometimes about my kids. Like it would be weird if we weren't sad sometimes it would be weird if we weren't feeling some of these negative emotions. Like if someone says something really unkind to us, it would be weird if we didn't feel hurt, like. Negative emotions are totally normal. Mm-hmm. and it's, I feel like stress is sort of the layered on emotion When we have something sad or or disappointing happen and then we add stress because we think that shouldn't have happened. That's what causes, I think, a lot of stress is thinking, what did happen that is negative? Shouldn't, or you were supposed to somehow prevent it. That causes tons of stress. Mm-hmm. So when we accept the first emotion and process that through, or for example, like my clients, they have a negative experience and then they eat because of it. Then they're stressed cuz they're like, well, I'm never gonna get this. I'm never gonna lose weight. That causes stress. So when we just learn to feel that first emotion, learn to be disappointed, like, yes, I'm disappointed right now. Hey, this is uncomfortable. Hey, I'm embarrassed, I'm nervous. Those things are all normal part of human experience. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, I couldn't agree more. I, I always tell my patients that I think that stress is like an umbrella, and I'm like, okay, you're telling me that you're feeling stressed? Like, what's under that? Mm-hmm. Is it anger, resentment, frustration, fear, worry, you know, sadness, grief, whatever. Let's identify that. And I think that the, one of the biggest stressors too, is when you experience sadness, for example, and. You're like, oh my gosh, I'm feeling sad. And then we gaslight ourself out of it. We're like, oh, just get over it. Not a big deal. We should be further along in this grieving process. We shouldn't feel sad. This feels really uncomfortable. Just go eat instead, or drink or whatever. You're telling your brain that that normal human experience is wrong. And so women. We are gaslighted regularly about a myriad of things, but we also are pretty good at gaslighting ourselves too. Mm-hmm. and kind of, you know, unvalidating our own experience. Um, and I actually read. There's a psychologist who I love, her name's Nicole Sachs and she posted something today that was like one of the primary causes of anxiety is being unvalidated as a child, like your emotions as a child. And I thought that was like really powerful. Um, cuz it's true, like if we aren't. Able to express. I, I always say identify and validate. Like just identify it and validate it for yourself. This is okay. This is fine. Doesn't mean that you're a bad person. It doesn't mean anything about you. There can be nuances and things can coexist, like there's a whole bunch of conversations there. Um, but we want to teach our brain that it's okay to feel these things. They're safe. Yeah. Love it. Okay. tell us where people can connect with you, learn more about what you do. Yeah, absolutely. So I am on Instagram as well. Um, I also have a Facebook page, um, or group actually called Holistic Health with Ali Damron. I have a podcast called the Ali Damon Show and a YouTube channel, um, just at Ally Damron too over there. Yeah, on the website, Ali Damron, all my stuff's Ali Damron, so wherever you wanna go makes it easy. Searched out and I'll probably be there, Okay, perfect. Thank you so much for your time and for sharing your wealth of knowledge and expertise. I really appreciate it. Yeah, my pleasure. I'll talk to you soon.