Sneaky Thoughts That Sabotage Your Weight Loss Goals [Ep. 122]

0:00 This is the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast. I'm Lisa Salsbury, and this is episode 122 Sneaky thoughts that sabotage your weight loss goals. Welcome to eat well. Well, the podcast for busy women who want to lose weight without constantly counting, tracking, or stressing over every bite. I'm Lisa Salsbury, a certified health weight loss and life coach, and most importantly, a recovered chronic dieter here. You'll learn to listen to your body and uncover the reasons you're reaching for food. When you're not truly hungry, freeing you to focus on a healthier, more fulfilling approach to eating. Hi friends. Thanks for tuning in today.

0:40 I don't know about you, but I'm deep in the Thanksgiving menu planning. I am making Thanksgiving dinner for the tiniest group I ever have. So I'm trying to figure out how to scale it way down from what I typically do. I'm trying to decide what pies to make. And my daughter has sent me the recipe for a pumpkin pie from milk bar. And if you don't know anything about that, It's very involved. There is like six different parts and then you assemble and it's like very complicated. So we shall see if I end up having time for that one. But for me, the sweet potatoes are on the chopping block. When I have to keep it more simple. My husband voted, keep the stuffing, skip the sweet potatoes.

1:22 So what would be on your chopping block? If you have just a small. Gathering. It's hard. It's hard to eliminate all of the yummy sides, right. Because of course you're not eliminating the Turkey. That's not on the chopping block. So anyway. This week, I've been thinking about a topic that I talked about well over a year ago, and that is the lies that we tell ourselves. Uh, about our weight loss and sometimes even our bodies and these sneaky thoughts. They are really the ones that sabotage. Our weight loss goals, and we let them live rent-free and our brains, because we've never questioned them. We don't actually realize that they are lies until they get uncovered.

2:07 By the way, this is one of the things I'm actually great at in my coaching. My one-on-one clients is to help them see their blind spots. And it's these kinds of lies. We tell ourselves believing that they are completely true. That contribute to the blind spots and ultimately contribute to you, not being able to lose your weight. One of the typical lies that we all use is I don't know. And it can be anything. I don't know how to lose weight. I don't know how to build a business. I don't know how to make a pie. But as my mentor, Jody Moore has taught me. I don't know. It's always a lie. I don't know effectively. Shuts down the brain from coming up with solutions because change is hard.

2:49 And scary and requires effort. And that is to the brain. You might be cognitively thinking. No, it's fine. But to your brain, that is all true. So if we just stay in, I don't know. Then we don't have to make any changes and this feels much safer for your primitive brain, especially. But knowledge is honestly just a Google search away at this point. And I don't know. Stops us from figuring things out, but it keeps us safe from being wrong. So we go to it a lot. so this one, I figure, you know, especially if people listen to my podcast, you know, I've, I've talked about this. If you're familiar with Jodie, she's talked about it. But there are some other sneaky ones I hear from clients that are trickier.

3:31 And these are these blind spot lies. They are subtle, unconscious, and they are sabotaging your progress. So see if any of these are living rent-free in your brain. Number one. More of this is going to be enjoyable. This is a specially pertinent right now, as we are really coming into the thick of the holiday season. And you're probably attending a friends giving this weekend, or maybe a pie party. You're eating along and you're like, Ooh, I should have some more because it's so good. It's just so enjoyable. And your brain, your lower brain. Is encouraging this because that's the part that's focused on the right now. Enjoyment. Which is the taste, maybe the texture.

4:14 This is when you are justifying grabbing seconds during family dinners, or maybe you are indulging in more than you planned. 'cause you're getting some rare me-time. But here's the truth. Once you reach your enough point on the hunger scale. More of that food, no matter what it is, whether it's Turkey and potatoes or cookies and pie. Are going to start decreasing the overall enjoyment of the situation. When you get into that positive 7, 8, 9 on the hunger scale that I use. And remember that one goes from negative 10 through positive 10. When you get up there, you're going to start getting very uncomfortable in your body. Not only are you diminishing the physical pleasure of being comfortable?

4:55 But you are also diminishing the emotional pleasure because unless you've worked with me a lot, I'm guessing you are going to start beating yourself up about it. Now I've done it again. I'm so uncomfortable and it's all my fault. Et cetera, et cetera. Instead, once you get to that place on the hunger scale, where you're comfortable. I want you to try a different thought something like I'll stop eating now to enjoy this memory. Guilt-free. This works, especially well when it's a holiday food and when there are good memories associated with it, which I don't deny by the way, I have a recipe for fudge in my dad's own handwriting hanging in my kitchen. I love it.

5:35 And I make that fudge at Christmas and it's associated with a ton of good memories. But eating more than what works well in my body in one sitting is never adding to those good memories. If I consistently overeat it. Those good memories are inevitably going to be replaced with something like, oh, fudge always makes me feel gross. So your reframe thought, I'll stop eating now to enjoy this memory. Guilt-free can really work for you or maybe just reversing the lie and saying more of this won't help this experience get any better. Okay, lie. Number two is it's just one. This comes up when you're thinking it's just so small that it can't possibly matter.

6:19 I first noticed this one with a client a few years back. It's just one kept coming up for her during our sessions, when we would run models on what was going on during her overeats. So we decided to count up the it's just one meals that she had throughout the week. So whether that was a particular meal at a restaurant or a cookie after lunch or a soda. We tallied them all up and it turned out to be more meals than not. She found herself saying it's just one or I don't do this often. She realized that it was her brain. Just trying to keep her eating. And keep from experiencing any disappointment or any cravings.

7:00 I get that you're busy and you're probably pretty consistently craving some me time or some rewards for all the work that you are doing. And it seems like a single cookie after lunch. Or a soda during errands feels insignificant. But it can add up over the course of a week. You just want to get really honest with the it's just one lie. Is it just one. And sort of an isolated unique experience. Or is it a lie and is actually par for the course? For those times that you're noticing that it's actually par for the course, your reframe thought here is yes. It's just one. So it's easy to skip. This thought really helped my client.

7:40 And she was able to notice how often she was skipping. That just one thing. And it really did add up for her over the week. Line number three is I hardly ever get this. This is really closely related to the it's just one, but the hardly ever get this lie is especially prominent. With seasonal food. Whether that's right now during these holidays or summertime or Easter. Whenever I had a client that used the special occasion lie, every time she went out to eat with her family. So we really took a look, got honest with her food journal and her schedule. And realized she was going out one or two times, usually two per week.

8:20 That's fine. Nothing wrong with that. But then you have to ask, is it true that you hardly ever get this or that it's a special occasion to be at a restaurant if you're doing it a couple of times a week. Define for yourself. What a special occasion is. Is it something that comes around once or twice a year or once or twice a week? See the difference. She was really surprised when she realized this lie coming up for her because she was like, oh yeah, this isn't really a special occasion. I get this way more often than I've been thinking. And she didn't want to think that anymore. Going out or ordering take out can be a lifesaver when you're busy. So I'm not saying to stop doing that. But when we realized that going out is more common in our lives.

9:03 Then we may think twice about how we are ordering. This client changed how she ordered, and we use the going out more as a break from dishes and cooking that she needed. And she ordered food that tended to match more closely what she would, if she was making it at home. She also realized she was ordering soda every time she went out because of the special occasion thought. That was really interesting to her because she didn't consider herself a soda drinker because she didn't buy it to have at home. But when she realized she was drinking it multiple times per week at restaurants, she was like, oh, I guess I am a soda drinker. And this just gave her the opportunity to decide if she wanted to keep that or let that go.

9:45 But it all stemmed from this lie of it being a special occasion, or I hardly ever do this or get this. Your reframe thought for this one is going to revolve around what is a special occasion? What is special about it? If it's that you're going out so that you don't have to do dishes. Or to save time after a busy sports day with the kids, then instead of thinking we hardly ever get this food. I think about I'm so glad I'm skipping out on dishes tonight. Reframe the hardly ever get this food to something that you're actually getting by being in this situation. That's really pleasant. Another reframe is actually just call out the lie when your brain offers the hardly ever get this lie.

10:27 You can just be like, nah, that's not true. We went out three days ago. Calling out the lie will naturally help you see what's true. Okay, but what if. It's actually a special occasion. Like what if you're on your 25th anniversary trip to Europe or at your son's wedding or your grandma's 100th birthday party. The underlying current with this lie is that it seems like it's okay to overeat because you were in this special occasion. But do you really want to be uncomfortable in your body and have digestive distress that comes with an extremely full stomach? If it is actually a special occasion.

11:07 Do you want to be focused on your thoughts about having overeaten? If you are at your child's wedding? If it really truly is a special occasion. Then don't we want to be as present as we can be and not have to worry about having to unbutton our peanuts. Getting on top of this lie with the holidays that come around each and every year can help you on these truly special occasions. And you will enjoy them more when your habit is to eat exactly the right amount of food for your body. Quick break here before getting into light number four. What a special occasion is for me about the holidays are all those cozy moments at home. I love sitting and reading in front of my lit Christmas tree in my companies.

11:51 But if you're like me, you want to be comfortable and cute. So that's why I'm obsessed with cozy earth women stretched net bamboo pajama set. It's designed for those relaxed holiday mornings or cozy nights in perfect for lounging in total comfort. These pajamas are going to be my go-to this season. And I think you're going to love them to check out cozy earth.com. And use my exclusive code. WELLWITHLISA. For 40% off. Give yourself or someone special the gift of comfort this season. And if you get a post-purchase survey, please, don't forget to mention that you heard about cozy earth right here on the eat. Well, think, well, Well live well podcast.

12:32 Okay. Back to lie. Number four is I can't ever stop eating. When you tell me this. I'm always like really. Are you eating now? I know that's an exaggeration, but these little lies, they really do make a difference in your result line. And this is a lie every single time. What you mean is I don't stop when I think I should. Or I don't stop at my physical enough. I don't stop on the hunger scale. When you tell me where I'm supposed to. But it's such a disempowering lie to say I never stop eating.

13:12 When we say we can't stop. The only way that would be true is if we were eating 24 hours a day. I know this comes up for you after a stressful day, you've decided to tuck into that package of Christmas cookies you bought at trader Joe's. And you're like, ah, I could just couldn't stop eating them. So the first step here is to really start looking at where you are when you typically stop. Is it when you're at a positive seven or eight on a hunger scale or even higher? Okay, fine. Then let's practice stopping when you're just one step down. If you typically stop at a positive eight. Let's bring it one step down and stop next time at a positive seven. Let yourself get somewhat full, but not stuffed.

13:55 Practice that for a while. And this is why I'm always telling you to just start by leaving two to three bites behind because those two to three bites. I can bring you from the positive eight down to the positive seven. Notice that at some point at every meal, you do stop eating. What is happening in that moment? What are you thinking that makes you put your fork down? When you're pretty good at stopping at positive six. Then practice at stopping at positive five. And so on and so forth until you're pretty consistently stopping at a positive three or four. You will be stuck using willpower and gritting your teeth and feeling really restricted.

14:36 If you try to go from overeating to a positive eight and feeling like it's very difficult to stop at every meal. Down to eating to just enough. And at that positive three, that's a huge job. That's a big reduction in food. I recommend taking this in baby steps down the scale. You will still feel better in your body at a positive six than at a positive eight. Your digestive system will. Thank you. And you will probably even start seeing some weight loss with these baby steps. Your reframe thought here is again to just call out the lie. I do stop eating. Sometimes I'm just past full when I stop. That's the truth.

15:17 When you are in that overeat, it may be difficult to reframe thoughts if you haven't had any specific coaching. On this, but you want to try at least just saying what's true. I do stop. I do know how. Line number five. Is, I'll never be able to lose weight. This one is going to always stop you dead in your tracks. Just like the, I don't know, like keeping us stuck this one will too.. I know that weight loss efforts can be frustrating. I know that it feels like you may have lost that same 10 to 15 pounds time and time again. But that's why you're here trying something different, trying a thought based approach.

15:58 You know that fat diets have failed you in the past because they didn't address the root cause of why you are eating when you aren't hungry. And why you are using food to manage your feelings. We all do it, but no diet plan ever tells you how to solve for that. The truth is that you most likely have lost some weight in the past. If you are an average American woman studies show that. Uh, 40 year old woman will try to lose weight eight times every year or 140 times in her life. And often those attempts are successful at moving the scale. But it's the keeping it off that is not working for you because you haven't found a sustainable way to lose it so that you are doing the same things in maintenance as you did to lose your weight.

16:41 Look at what did work for you though, where you prioritizing protein and fiber and limiting sugar. Chances are that whatever fad, diet or macro counting or points or whatever you've done has in some way, asked you to do those things. What diets have you been on that you actually felt good. And why did you decide to stop eating that way? Often we restrict too much on diets. And so this light gets developed. I'll never be able to lose weight. Because I can't keep eating like this forever. You've got to make small incremental changes that feel like almost nothing week to week. But they add up over the months. Let it take time. When you start over on a Monday, it feels like a diet.

17:25 When you slowly crowd out your sugary snacks for fruit, it feels like a lifestyle change. Choose one thing that you liked from a past way of eating that helped you lose weight. Maybe that's a particular breakfast recipe from a diet plan. You really liked. There's no reason you can't make that recipe now just because you aren't fully following that method. I still make a Turkey sausage that I got originally from my south beach diet cookbook. I don't follow the south beach diet anymore, obviously, but I can still enjoy the way that Turkey sausage adds extra protein. When I have eggs for breakfast. Your reframe here. Is, I do know how to lose weight. Just completely opposite of that.

18:06 I also like the thought I haven't lost all my weight yet. This really leaves your brain open to the possibility of figuring out new ways to attack the problem. Instead of shutting it down with, I don't know. You leave it open to working on the problem with this thought? I haven't lost my weight yet. Let me know if you recognize any of these sneaky little thoughts in your brain that are sabotaging your weight loss. I've given you some ideas for reframing them, but there's lots of ways that can work. I'd love to hear some of your reframes as well. So you can comment on my Instagram post for the episode this week, or send me a DM. I'm so glad that you tuned in today.

18:46 If you're ready for a step-by-step personalized approach, check out my coaching program, where we dive into these topics in a way that's customized to your lifestyle. Remember, if you've been wanting to reach your goals without constant stress over food, even during the holidays, it is possible. And I'd love to help you get there. Book a free consult session with me to learn more about my program and make sure it's a perfect fit for you. You can schedule it at the link in the show notes. Remember, it's not just about the food. It's about empowering yourself with the thoughts and choices that truly serve you. Have a great week and as always, thanks for listening to the eat. Well think, well live well podcast.