Transcript
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This is the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast.
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I'm Lisa Salsbury, and this is episode 122 Sneaky thoughts that sabotage your weight loss goals.
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Welcome to eat well.
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Well, the podcast for busy women who want to lose weight without constantly counting, tracking, or stressing over every bite.
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I'm Lisa Salsbury, a certified health weight loss and life coach, and most importantly, a recovered chronic dieter here.
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You'll learn to listen to your body and uncover the reasons you're reaching for food.
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When you're not truly hungry, freeing you to focus on a healthier, more fulfilling approach to eating.
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Hi friends.
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Thanks for tuning in today.
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I don't know about you, but I'm deep in the Thanksgiving menu planning.
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I am making Thanksgiving dinner for the tiniest group I ever have.
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So I'm trying to figure out how to scale it way down from what I typically do.
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I'm trying to decide what pies to make.
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And my daughter has sent me the recipe for a pumpkin pie from milk bar.
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And if you don't know anything about that, It's very involved.
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There is like six different parts and then you assemble and it's like very complicated.
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So we shall see if I end up having time for that one.
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But for me, the sweet potatoes are on the chopping block.
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When I have to keep it more simple.
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My husband voted, keep the stuffing, skip the sweet potatoes.
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So what would be on your chopping block?
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If you have just a small.
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Gathering.
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It's hard.
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It's hard to eliminate all of the yummy sides, right.
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Because of course you're not eliminating the Turkey.
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That's not on the chopping block.
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So anyway.
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This week, I've been thinking about a topic that I talked about well over a year ago, and that is the lies that we tell ourselves.
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Uh, about our weight loss and sometimes even our bodies and these sneaky thoughts.
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They are really the ones that sabotage.
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Our weight loss goals, and we let them live rent-free and our brains, because we've never questioned them.
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We don't actually realize that they are lies until they get uncovered.
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By the way, this is one of the things I'm actually great at in my coaching.
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My one-on-one clients is to help them see their blind spots.
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And it's these kinds of lies.
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We tell ourselves believing that they are completely true.
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That contribute to the blind spots and ultimately contribute to you, not being able to lose your weight.
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One of the typical lies that we all use is I don't know.
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And it can be anything.
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I don't know how to lose weight.
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I don't know how to build a business.
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I don't know how to make a pie.
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But as my mentor, Jody Moore has taught me.
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I don't know.
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It's always a lie.
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I don't know effectively.
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Shuts down the brain from coming up with solutions because change is hard.
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And scary and requires effort.
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And that is to the brain.
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You might be cognitively thinking.
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No, it's fine.
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But to your brain, that is all true.
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So if we just stay in, I don't know.
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Then we don't have to make any changes and this feels much safer for your primitive brain, especially.
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But knowledge is honestly just a Google search away at this point.
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And I don't know.
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Stops us from figuring things out, but it keeps us safe from being wrong.
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So we go to it a lot.
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so this one, I figure, you know, especially if people listen to my podcast, you know, I've, I've talked about this.
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If you're familiar with Jodie, she's talked about it.
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But there are some other sneaky ones I hear from clients that are trickier.
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And these are these blind spot lies.
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They are subtle, unconscious, and they are sabotaging your progress.
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So see if any of these are living rent-free in your brain.
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Number one.
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More of this is going to be enjoyable.
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This is a specially pertinent right now, as we are really coming into the thick of the holiday season.
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And you're probably attending a friends giving this weekend, or maybe a pie party.
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You're eating along and you're like, Ooh, I should have some more because it's so good.
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It's just so enjoyable.
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And your brain, your lower brain.
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Is encouraging this because that's the part that's focused on the right now.
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Enjoyment.
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Which is the taste, maybe the texture.
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This is when you are justifying grabbing seconds during family dinners, or maybe you are indulging in more than you planned.
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'cause you're getting some rare me-time.
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But here's the truth.
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Once you reach your enough point on the hunger scale.
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More of that food, no matter what it is, whether it's Turkey and potatoes or cookies and pie.
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Are going to start decreasing the overall enjoyment of the situation.
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When you get into that positive 7, 8, 9 on the hunger scale that I use.
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And remember that one goes from negative 10 through positive 10.
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When you get up there, you're going to start getting very uncomfortable in your body.
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Not only are you diminishing the physical pleasure of being comfortable?
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But you are also diminishing the emotional pleasure because unless you've worked with me a lot, I'm guessing you are going to start beating yourself up about it.
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Now I've done it again.
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I'm so uncomfortable and it's all my fault.
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Et cetera, et cetera.
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Instead, once you get to that place on the hunger scale, where you're comfortable.
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I want you to try a different thought something like I'll stop eating now to enjoy this memory.
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Guilt-free.
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This works, especially well when it's a holiday food and when there are good memories associated with it, which I don't deny by the way, I have a recipe for fudge in my dad's own handwriting hanging in my kitchen.
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I love it.
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And I make that fudge at Christmas and it's associated with a ton of good memories.
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But eating more than what works well in my body in one sitting is never adding to those good memories.
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If I consistently overeat it.
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Those good memories are inevitably going to be replaced with something like, oh, fudge always makes me feel gross.
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So your reframe thought, I'll stop eating now to enjoy this memory.
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Guilt-free can really work for you or maybe just reversing the lie and saying more of this won't help this experience get any better.
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Okay, lie.
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Number two is it's just one.
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This comes up when you're thinking it's just so small that it can't possibly matter.
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I first noticed this one with a client a few years back.
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It's just one kept coming up for her during our sessions, when we would run models on what was going on during her overeats.
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So we decided to count up the it's just one meals that she had throughout the week.
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So whether that was a particular meal at a restaurant or a cookie after lunch or a soda.
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We tallied them all up and it turned out to be more meals than not.
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She found herself saying it's just one or I don't do this often.
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She realized that it was her brain.
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Just trying to keep her eating.
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And keep from experiencing any disappointment or any cravings.
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I get that you're busy and you're probably pretty consistently craving some me time or some rewards for all the work that you are doing.
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And it seems like a single cookie after lunch.
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Or a soda during errands feels insignificant.
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But it can add up over the course of a week.
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You just want to get really honest with the it's just one lie.
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Is it just one.
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And sort of an isolated unique experience.
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Or is it a lie and is actually par for the course?
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For those times that you're noticing that it's actually par for the course, your reframe thought here is yes.
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It's just one.
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So it's easy to skip.
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This thought really helped my client.
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And she was able to notice how often she was skipping.
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That just one thing.
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And it really did add up for her over the week.
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Line number three is I hardly ever get this.
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This is really closely related to the it's just one, but the hardly ever get this lie is especially prominent.
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With seasonal food.
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Whether that's right now during these holidays or summertime or Easter.
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Whenever I had a client that used the special occasion lie, every time she went out to eat with her family.
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So we really took a look, got honest with her food journal and her schedule.
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And realized she was going out one or two times, usually two per week.
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That's fine.
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Nothing wrong with that.
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But then you have to ask, is it true that you hardly ever get this or that it's a special occasion to be at a restaurant if you're doing it a couple of times a week.
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Define for yourself.
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What a special occasion is.
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Is it something that comes around once or twice a year or once or twice a week?
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See the difference.
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She was really surprised when she realized this lie coming up for her because she was like, oh yeah, this isn't really a special occasion.
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I get this way more often than I've been thinking.
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And she didn't want to think that anymore.
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Going out or ordering take out can be a lifesaver when you're busy.
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So I'm not saying to stop doing that.
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But when we realized that going out is more common in our lives.
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Then we may think twice about how we are ordering.
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This client changed how she ordered, and we use the going out more as a break from dishes and cooking that she needed.
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And she ordered food that tended to match more closely what she would, if she was making it at home.
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She also realized she was ordering soda every time she went out because of the special occasion thought.
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That was really interesting to her because she didn't consider herself a soda drinker because she didn't buy it to have at home.
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But when she realized she was drinking it multiple times per week at restaurants, she was like, oh, I guess I am a soda drinker.
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And this just gave her the opportunity to decide if she wanted to keep that or let that go.
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But it all stemmed from this lie of it being a special occasion, or I hardly ever do this or get this.
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Your reframe thought for this one is going to revolve around what is a special occasion?
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What is special about it?
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If it's that you're going out so that you don't have to do dishes.
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Or to save time after a busy sports day with the kids, then instead of thinking we hardly ever get this food.
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I think about I'm so glad I'm skipping out on dishes tonight.
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Reframe the hardly ever get this food to something that you're actually getting by being in this situation.
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That's really pleasant.
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Another reframe is actually just call out the lie when your brain offers the hardly ever get this lie.
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You can just be like, nah, that's not true.
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We went out three days ago.
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Calling out the lie will naturally help you see what's true.
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Okay, but what if.
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It's actually a special occasion.
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Like what if you're on your 25th anniversary trip to Europe or at your son's wedding or your grandma's 100th birthday party.
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The underlying current with this lie is that it seems like it's okay to overeat because you were in this special occasion.
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But do you really want to be uncomfortable in your body and have digestive distress that comes with an extremely full stomach?
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If it is actually a special occasion.
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Do you want to be focused on your thoughts about having overeaten?
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If you are at your child's wedding?
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If it really truly is a special occasion.
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Then don't we want to be as present as we can be and not have to worry about having to unbutton our peanuts.
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Getting on top of this lie with the holidays that come around each and every year can help you on these truly special occasions.
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And you will enjoy them more when your habit is to eat exactly the right amount of food for your body.
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Quick break here before getting into light number four.
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What a special occasion is for me about the holidays are all those cozy moments at home.
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I love sitting and reading in front of my lit Christmas tree in my companies.
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But if you're like me, you want to be comfortable and cute.
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It's designed for those relaxed holiday mornings or cozy nights in perfect for lounging in total comfort.
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These pajamas are going to be my go-to this season.
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And I think you're going to love them to check out cozy earth.com.
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And if you get a post-purchase survey, please, don't forget to mention that you heard about cozy earth right here on the eat.
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Well, think, well, Well live well podcast.
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Okay.
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Back to lie.
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Number four is I can't ever stop eating.
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When you tell me this.
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I'm always like really.
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Are you eating now?
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I know that's an exaggeration, but these little lies, they really do make a difference in your result line.
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And this is a lie every single time.
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What you mean is I don't stop when I think I should.
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Or I don't stop at my physical enough.
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I don't stop on the hunger scale.
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When you tell me where I'm supposed to.
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But it's such a disempowering lie to say I never stop eating.
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When we say we can't stop.
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The only way that would be true is if we were eating 24 hours a day.
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I know this comes up for you after a stressful day, you've decided to tuck into that package of Christmas cookies you bought at trader Joe's.
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And you're like, ah, I could just couldn't stop eating them.
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So the first step here is to really start looking at where you are when you typically stop.
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Is it when you're at a positive seven or eight on a hunger scale or even higher?
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Okay, fine.
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Then let's practice stopping when you're just one step down.
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If you typically stop at a positive eight.
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Let's bring it one step down and stop next time at a positive seven.
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Let yourself get somewhat full, but not stuffed.
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Practice that for a while.
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And this is why I'm always telling you to just start by leaving two to three bites behind because those two to three bites.
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I can bring you from the positive eight down to the positive seven.
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Notice that at some point at every meal, you do stop eating.
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What is happening in that moment?
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What are you thinking that makes you put your fork down?
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When you're pretty good at stopping at positive six.
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Then practice at stopping at positive five.
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And so on and so forth until you're pretty consistently stopping at a positive three or four.
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You will be stuck using willpower and gritting your teeth and feeling really restricted.
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If you try to go from overeating to a positive eight and feeling like it's very difficult to stop at every meal.
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Down to eating to just enough.
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And at that positive three, that's a huge job.
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That's a big reduction in food.
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I recommend taking this in baby steps down the scale.
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You will still feel better in your body at a positive six than at a positive eight.
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Your digestive system will.
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Thank you.
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And you will probably even start seeing some weight loss with these baby steps.
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Your reframe thought here is again to just call out the lie.
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I do stop eating.
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Sometimes I'm just past full when I stop.
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That's the truth.