Small Habits, Big Results: What Really Drives Change [Ep. 135]

0:00 This is the eat well, think well, live well podcast. I'm Lisa Salisbury. And this is episode 135 small habits, big results. What really drives change. Welcome to eat well. Well, the podcast for busy women who want to lose weight without constantly counting, tracking, or stressing over every bite. I'm Lisa Salsbury, a certified health weight loss and life coach, and most importantly, A recovered chronic dieter here. You'll learn to listen to your body and uncover the reasons you're reaching for food. When you're not truly hungry, freeing you to focus on a healthier, more fulfilling approach to eating. Hi, welcome back to the podcast.

0:41 So glad you tuned in today. I recently re read the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg for my monthly book club. Shout out. Love, love my new book club. We've just met a few times, but this one we picked for January and it's is a great one. It's a great little book full of stories about how habits are ingrained in our everyday lives, our communities, and all the way up to like business and corporate behavior. I listened to this one, um, which was nice because it does flow in kind of like a story format. but then I bought the print version so that I could highlight. So there is lots of information about how to create new habits and really why you want to build a life around habits because essentially, spoiler alert, it just makes things so much easier.

1:28 So the main idea in the book is the Cue Routine Reward Cycle or what's called the Habit Loop. And I want to use this idea to talk about how we can use the power of our own habits to change what we eat and leverage that to lose weight. So the Cue routine reward habit loop cycle says that for every craving, there is a Cue something that tips us off to wanting the thing. So whether that's a habit of nail biting or eating a cookie in the afternoon, there is a Cue that starts the cycle. Then we go through the routine of going to the pantry or the break room and grabbing that cookie or the snack, and then we get the reward.

2:12 Usually it's a little bit of dopamine from the sugar, but the reward can also be taking a break, or the chatting with the co worker, so socializing that comes with going to the break room. What I noticed is that Duhigg's cue routine reward cycle closely matches the thought model I use, where the cue is the thought and feeling together, the routine is the action line, and the reward is the result line. So if you are practiced at using the model that I teach, you can see how these really go together quite nicely. You have a thought like, Oh, it's three o'clock, or I need a break, or I could really go for a cookie right now.

2:56 And that gives you the feeling of a craving and that together is your cue. You get up and you go seek out that cookie, maybe chatting with a coworker that meets you there. This is your action line. You feel like you've had a nice break from work and that is your reward and it goes in the result line. So the first thing to do when you want to change a habit is to notice. Notice when you are in these types of habit loops that are hindering you from achieving your goals. If you are trying to lose weight, and you've decided, as many of my clients do, to beef up your lunch so that you are not needing an afternoon snack, you still need to address that habit loop that will happen at 3 o'clock.

3:37 The habit of eating a cookie every day at 3 o'clock. And this is an example, I'll tell you, this is an example he uses in the book. So, um, But I see this with my clients a lot as well. So even if you aren't hungry for a cookie, you'll want to notice what else is going on and driving that habit behavior. Habit eating is a tricky one to get on top of because you can do it as easily as brushing your teeth in the morning. That is without even thinking about it. One great way to start noticing when you are eating out of habit is to write down your food. Ah, there she goes again with the food journaling. I know, I know, but this is where we can really get some leverage and around what needs to change.

4:20 I know I talk about food journaling like constantly, but it's just essential. So the first couple of weeks I work with a client, I I often just have them write down everything they're eating so we can identify patterns without making any changes. What are you eating? When are you eating? What are you choosing? You know the saying, we can't improve what we don't measure, or something like that. It's impossible to know what needs to change if a lot of your eating is done from habit. This goes for time of day and choices, but also habit serving sizes. We need to look at everything. So once you've identified a habit in your eating that you want to change, we want to look for the cue.

5:05 What is driving that habit? Perhaps it's when you walk in the door from work, you immediately go to the kitchen for a snack, regardless of your hunger level. the cue is coming home, and also That can be a tricky transition time when we are changing from being a working woman to a mom or wife role. So not only are you coming home and there is a change of surroundings, but also you are most likely changing roles. So this can be a tricky transition time and it can be your cue to get a snack. Your routine is to check the pantry and eat what you find. And then the reward is that ease of tension you are feeling from the transition that is causing a little bit of unrest.

5:50 Duhigg says that, quote, habits cannot be eradicated. It must instead be replaced. And we know that habits are most malleable when the golden rule of habit change is applied. If we keep the same cue and the same reward, a new routine can be inserted. So that's interesting, right? So what else could you do upon coming home, which is your cue, that would also give you the same reward of easing the tension from your transition to your home role? Perhaps a couple minutes of alone time in your room before starting in on home chores. Perhaps you have some flavored seltzer water and sit for a couple minutes doing deep breathing and drinking your fizzy drink.

6:34 If you come home to a house full of loud and demanding kids, Um, and I say demanding, meaning they are wanting their needs met right away. Not that they're like naughty. I love your kids. You love your kids. Um, this few minutes of calm might not be possible. So, I get that. You'll have to get creative. Maybe you take your mini break in the car, in the garage, before going inside. So as you are looking to change your habits, get creative about what the reward is that you are looking for. And then ask yourself, what else besides a snack? Another concept from the book that I loved is the small wins. They are exactly what they sound like, just very tiny things that of course will add up.

7:20 He says, once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion that favor another small win. Small wins fuel transformative changes by leveraging tiny advantages into patterns that convince people that bigger achievements are within reach. So I love this concept again because this is how I coach my clients. I have had testimonials that say they didn't even realize how much they were changing until we went back and reviewed where they started 12 weeks ago. We make tiny little changes each week and it sometimes feels so small that it was so easy, they wonder why they're even doing it. one way this works is when I assign you to do just, for example, say, plan your breakfast each day this week, that seems so easy that midweek you start planning your lunch as well.

8:10 The wins are so small that it makes you think, I could probably do a bit more. Now, as you are changing habits, you are going to come up against. Willpower. As much as I will work with you when you are my client about your thoughts and feelings and helping you to choose those intentionally, sometimes you will feel like you are just using your grit or determination or willpower. It's that feeling of holding on tight, and it's also that feeling that comes with strict restriction. The trouble with willpower is that there have been over 200 studies showing that willpower isn't just a skill. Duhigg says it's a muscle, like the muscles in your arms or legs, and it gets tired as it works harder.

8:55 So there's less power left over for the other things. The takeaway here is that the more we can get our healthy habits Delegated down to our lower brain when we are doing them by habit the less willpower we will have to use When you are first learning a new habit It might take a little bit more willpower to accomplish and that's a major reason why Why we do this in tiny increments. Remember small wins? Actually, let me give you a scenario that you're probably familiar with. January 1st, you decide enough's enough. It's time to get healthy. I'm going to put that in air quotes.

9:35 You clean out your pantry, throw away all the holiday goodies that are still hanging around. You go online, purchase some new workout clothes and decide this is the year. You will finally run that half marathon. You download a running app. You set your alarm for the next. Stay You make a grocery list from that influencer you saw Offering free meal plans, guaranteed to lose 10 pounds this month This is going to be your year Oh, and it's January, so obviously, you'll do dry January Can't lose weight if you're still drinking wine, right? And then a few days in, you miss a run. Someone brings lunch into the office you weren't planning on, and then you get invited out to a girls night to celebrate Michelle's birthday. Are you seeing yourself in this story?

10:15 Has this happened to you? does this happen to you every January 1st or April 1st or September 1st? Insert new starting date here. Based on what I've talked about so far in this episode, do you see the problem with this scenario? First, you didn't give yourself any time to observe your current habits. You probably had some good routines going that you just threw out because you decided to overhaul your entire life. You didn't look at any of your current Q routine reward cycles to see what can be replaced with some of your new desires. Secondly, you tried to change every single habit at one time. You try to completely change your workout routine, your eating habits, and your social life.

10:57 This is a twofold problem. One, you aren't going to build up enough small wins to make you believe that you can continue. And two, you're going to run out of willpower. It takes too much willpower to make all these changes at once. And so by the evening or by the weekend. You. Are. Spent. You also didn't create any strategies for when things don't go your way. I've done a whole episode in the past about obstacles and strategies, and it really is an entire episode worth of information, so I will link that in the caption. Duhigg does touch on this a bit in the book as well, noting that certain patients in recovery from knee replacements did the best when they wrote down ways to handle a specific moment of anticipated pain.

11:41 And in this case, a successful patient detailed every obstacle he might confront. For changing health behaviors, these moments of pain are when you are in a social situation and you want to stick to your plan, or maybe you would get invited to do something during the time when you already had a workout planned. Or your kid just gets sick and you have to stay home and things go awry. What do you do in those moments?

12:23 Lastly, on habit change, Duhigg says, For a habit to stay changed, people must believe change is possible. And most often, that belief only emerges with the help of a group. If you want to change a habit, you must find an alternative routine, and your odds of success go up dramatically when you commit to changing as part of a group. Belief is essential, and it grows out of a communal experience, even if that community is only as large as two people. Many times I notice that clients don't have the sense of belief yet. They aren't sure that they can finally change their lifestyle or habits to accomplish real weight loss. I will tell you what I tell them.

13:05 You can depend on my belief until you believe for yourself. If you have an accountability partner, that's great. But honestly, there's no better community of two to change a habit than with a life coach. This is what we specialize in. Not only will I help you change your habits, I can help you change your belief about being able. To change your habits last week, my client just said offhand. Oh yeah. I've lost 25 pounds working with you. I was shocked because I don't check on weight every week or anything. It's not like we do weigh ins, but there were so many other positive changes this client had experienced that we had focused on. Um, that I actually had no idea that she had lost that much weight.

13:46 And I think that just shows the power of the small wins, taking it a little at a time and prioritizing real habit change over complete overhauls that require an intense amount of willpower. If these insights resonate with you and you're ready to make lasting changes in your health journey, I'd love to help first download my what to do when you overeat resource. This is a three part video series, plus a workbook that's free just for my podcast listeners. You can also book a free consult session to see if my 12 week. One on one coaching program is right for you. Schedule that at the link in the show notes. Remember, it's not just about the food. It's about empowering yourself with the choices that truly serve you.

14:28 Have a great week. And as always, thanks for listening to the eat well, think well, live well podcast.