My Top 3 Emotions for Weight Loss [Ep. 98]

Transcript

WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.419
This is the.

00:00:00.869 --> 00:00:01.889
Well live well podcast.

00:00:01.919 --> 00:00:07.320
I'm Lisa Salsbury, and this is episode 98, my top three emotions for weight loss.

00:00:11.234 --> 00:00:18.135
Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food.

00:00:18.765 --> 00:00:20.324
I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury.

00:00:20.714 --> 00:00:26.375
I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter.

00:00:26.984 --> 00:00:32.924
I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating.

00:00:35.432 --> 00:00:36.932
Welcome to summertime.

00:00:37.442 --> 00:00:40.353
I don't know about you, but my daughter finished school this past week.

00:00:40.383 --> 00:00:44.432
So first week of June or officially in summertime and wow.

00:00:44.432 --> 00:00:50.432
Some of our brain really just started off strong because I recorded half this podcast with my microphone on mute.

00:00:50.942 --> 00:00:52.383
Which means I recorded nothing.

00:00:52.622 --> 00:00:54.633
So here we go again, take two.

00:00:55.023 --> 00:00:59.732
Um, the weather here in California is really cooperating on the summer thing.

00:00:59.732 --> 00:01:01.713
It's going to be over a hundred degrees for a few days.

00:01:01.713 --> 00:01:03.753
So just coming in hot, the summer weather.

00:01:04.322 --> 00:01:13.052
I've already heard of us, did a couple of zucchini and I ate one singular cherry tomato this morning when I was out doing some fertilizing and tending my garden boxes.

00:01:13.052 --> 00:01:13.923
So that was exciting.

00:01:14.522 --> 00:01:17.793
Summertime often elicits a desire to drop some weight.

00:01:17.793 --> 00:01:20.793
Since we uncover our bodies from the layers of winter clothing.

00:01:21.153 --> 00:01:25.772
Maybe you're transitioning your wardrobe and noticing things are not fitting the way they may be used to.

00:01:25.772 --> 00:01:29.132
So for whatever reason, you might be looking to drop some weight.

00:01:29.582 --> 00:01:35.043
As you know, I don't provide meal plans because I help you create a meal plan that works best for you.

00:01:35.043 --> 00:01:36.033
And your lifestyle.

00:01:36.042 --> 00:01:38.981
And family by tweaking your own food journal.

00:01:39.012 --> 00:01:42.281
But what I do provide is emotional plans.

00:01:42.701 --> 00:01:47.621
I always want to help you pick from the very best emotions that can fuel weight loss.

00:01:48.042 --> 00:01:52.632
So today I want to talk to you about my three favorite emotions for weight loss.

00:01:52.632 --> 00:01:55.542
If I was creating an emotion plan for you.

00:01:55.841 --> 00:01:58.992
These are the ones I would want you to pick from the most often.

00:01:59.412 --> 00:02:02.951
And they are curiosity, confidence, and commitment.

00:02:03.581 --> 00:02:05.262
I call them the big three CS.

00:02:05.441 --> 00:02:07.272
I know that's super creative, right?

00:02:07.272 --> 00:02:18.461
Like what a name, but you know how handy that they all start with C let's go through each one and talk about how to cultivate it, how to create more of it in your life and see why it helps you lose weight.

00:02:18.882 --> 00:02:21.012
So, number one is curiosity.

00:02:21.431 --> 00:02:28.122
Curiosity is really just so useful in widening our understanding, not only of ourselves, but of others.

00:02:28.542 --> 00:02:32.502
I think curiosity is the best way to stay out of judgment.

00:02:32.861 --> 00:02:40.032
Once we start judging others for their choices, we naturally allow ourselves to judge our own choices.

00:02:40.361 --> 00:02:45.641
It's rare that judgment in the thought and feeling line when we're thinking judgmental thoughts about others.

00:02:46.122 --> 00:02:49.572
Doesn't end with judging ourselves in the result line.

00:02:49.572 --> 00:02:53.262
Uh, curiosity can be the antidote to this.

00:02:53.741 --> 00:02:56.141
We create curiosity by using phrases.

00:02:56.171 --> 00:02:57.222
Like I wonder,.

00:02:57.322 --> 00:02:58.461
And rhetorical questions.

00:02:58.461 --> 00:02:59.331
Like what if.

00:03:00.141 --> 00:03:02.301
Wonder about anything and everything.

00:03:02.451 --> 00:03:05.752
Not to get an answer, but just to get curious.

00:03:06.322 --> 00:03:10.671
I wonder why she chose to dye her hair blue instead of, oh my goodness.

00:03:10.731 --> 00:03:15.951
Look at her hair, like genuinely wonder and stay out of judgment.

00:03:16.312 --> 00:03:18.771
I wonder when my cucumbers will be ready to pick.

00:03:19.132 --> 00:03:20.752
I wonder what that plant is called.

00:03:20.931 --> 00:03:25.401
I wonder when my next client will find me, I wonder what will resonate with my listeners.

00:03:25.792 --> 00:03:28.132
I wonder what will happen if I didn't eat that cookie?

00:03:28.551 --> 00:03:31.581
I wonder what I would feel like if I left three bites behind it dinner.

00:03:31.921 --> 00:03:34.171
What if I took a walk after dinner, how would that feel?

00:03:34.532 --> 00:03:38.731
I wonder how my body would feel if I ate just to enough instead of to full.

00:03:39.542 --> 00:03:48.062
Getting good at wondering about mundane things like blue hair and plants, and then translate it into wondering about work or other things you do.

00:03:48.092 --> 00:03:49.681
And then start wondering.

00:03:50.222 --> 00:03:53.822
About your habits and the activities, the promote weight loss.

00:03:54.481 --> 00:04:00.301
I wonder how I would feel if I went for a walk instead of stayed here and scrolled social media.

00:04:00.812 --> 00:04:08.072
These are the kinds of things we want to start asking yourself, truly get curious, and then do the experiment to see, take that walk.

00:04:08.762 --> 00:04:14.372
Try leaving the three bites behind check in with your body and see how it feels when you ate just two enough.

00:04:14.852 --> 00:04:16.232
What is going on for you?

00:04:16.502 --> 00:04:18.151
Be genuinely curious.

00:04:18.512 --> 00:04:21.692
In that state of wonder that has no judgment.

00:04:22.201 --> 00:04:26.132
This can be beneficial for weight loss, because it can lead you to trying new things.

00:04:26.521 --> 00:04:32.521
If you've always had a habit of eating snacks with your kids after school, you can wonder what it would be like to skip that snack.

00:04:32.971 --> 00:04:36.091
Or what it would be like to have a different snack than they are having.

00:04:36.711 --> 00:04:42.172
If you always eat popcorn at the movie, wonder what it would be like just to be entertained by the movie.

00:04:42.442 --> 00:04:47.242
Rather than needing something to do with your mouth to what would it be like to just watch a movie?

00:04:47.331 --> 00:04:48.562
How would that even go?

00:04:49.252 --> 00:04:56.091
The more you can get curious about what you are doing and how it's affecting your body and your results, the less judgmental you will become.

00:04:56.721 --> 00:05:01.341
And if we are less judgmental, we are less likely to shame and criticize ourselves.

00:05:01.791 --> 00:05:05.512
Because this curiosity also works great for after the fact.

00:05:05.841 --> 00:05:09.442
After we overeat get curious about why that happened.

00:05:09.951 --> 00:05:14.661
Instead of jumping to blame and shame, just ask yourself, what were you really needing?

00:05:14.661 --> 00:05:15.141
Right then?

00:05:15.682 --> 00:05:18.651
I wonder what else could have felt good to sooth that emotion?

00:05:18.951 --> 00:05:20.242
What else could work?

00:05:21.172 --> 00:05:23.151
That is a great curiosity question.

00:05:23.512 --> 00:05:26.031
Get curious instead of judgy.

00:05:27.112 --> 00:05:27.382
Okay.

00:05:27.382 --> 00:05:29.661
Number two is confidence.

00:05:30.502 --> 00:05:31.163
Confidence.

00:05:31.432 --> 00:05:35.543
Is the, I can do this stick to it-ness of weight loss.

00:05:35.932 --> 00:05:37.403
It's more than willpower.

00:05:37.673 --> 00:05:41.752
Confidence says I can do this no matter how many times I fail.

00:05:42.202 --> 00:05:45.083
It says failure only teaches me what doesn't work.

00:05:45.322 --> 00:05:48.262
It doesn't tell me anything about my worthiness.

00:05:48.923 --> 00:05:51.562
Confidence is about trusting yourself.

00:05:51.872 --> 00:05:57.242
This is where you gain the ability to have foods in the house that used to make you want to eat your face off.

00:05:57.812 --> 00:06:04.023
When you are confident that you can trust yourself, you can be in a house where treats exist without having to eat them all.

00:06:04.562 --> 00:06:08.072
Confidence has also the ability to feel any emotion.

00:06:08.523 --> 00:06:17.492
When, you know, you can feel negative emotions and not go directly to food that is confidence feeling bad and not overeating over.

00:06:17.492 --> 00:06:22.353
It will actually increase your confidence in your ability to feel negative emotions.

00:06:23.163 --> 00:06:26.432
Confidence is very far from arrogance.

00:06:26.733 --> 00:06:28.833
Arrogant says I'm better than you.

00:06:28.892 --> 00:06:29.642
And here's why.

00:06:30.213 --> 00:06:32.252
Arrogance puts people on a hierarchy.

00:06:32.523 --> 00:06:35.432
She's better than me, but I'm better than her, et cetera.

00:06:36.153 --> 00:06:40.353
Arrogance actually comes from a place of creating false confidence.

00:06:40.653 --> 00:06:42.932
By trying to put others down.

00:06:43.502 --> 00:06:48.843
It works by trying to raise your opinion of yourself by comparing yourself to others.

00:06:49.293 --> 00:06:52.473
Which ironically often does the exact opposite.

00:06:53.163 --> 00:07:01.622
True confidence helps you understand all humans are capable and worthy and you don't need to do any comparison to feel confident about yourself.

00:07:02.252 --> 00:07:05.252
You can cultivate more confidence by rejecting thoughts.

00:07:05.283 --> 00:07:09.872
Like, I don't know how or confident people don't feel fear like me.

00:07:10.442 --> 00:07:13.562
Or I'm different than super successful people.

00:07:13.833 --> 00:07:16.502
Those thoughts do not lead to confidence.

00:07:16.862 --> 00:07:22.653
You can create more confidence by considering the possibility of what you can create in the future.

00:07:23.072 --> 00:07:26.403
Interestingly, if you are also working on your curiosity.

00:07:26.853 --> 00:07:31.142
This can help you imagine futures that are full of possibilities.

00:07:31.723 --> 00:07:35.622
Thoughts that you can switch to include things like I am capable.

00:07:36.372 --> 00:07:38.322
The worst that can happen is a feeling.

00:07:38.983 --> 00:07:41.112
And I have my own back.

00:07:41.983 --> 00:07:45.463
Each time you remind yourself that fear is no big deal.

00:07:45.853 --> 00:07:54.132
And that you actually can totally feel a negative emotion, even an emotion like urge or craving without reacting to it or obeying it.

00:07:54.673 --> 00:07:56.322
That will increase your confidence.

00:07:56.833 --> 00:07:59.353
The interesting thing about confidence is that often.

00:07:59.742 --> 00:08:05.023
Ends up in the result line as much as I want it to be in the feeling line.

00:08:05.322 --> 00:08:09.642
And we can put it there, especially when we're thinking things like I'm capable.

00:08:09.973 --> 00:08:16.992
It goes in the feeling line, but often some of our actions lead to confidence and it becomes this great repeating circle.

00:08:17.783 --> 00:08:20.002
The last C is commitment.

00:08:20.543 --> 00:08:23.093
You have to know why you are doing this.

00:08:23.392 --> 00:08:25.312
Why do you want to lose weight?

00:08:26.002 --> 00:08:31.822
Maybe your health goals involve something other than scale weight, which I hope you have other things on your health list than just your scale weight.

00:08:31.822 --> 00:08:32.543
So that's great.

00:08:32.932 --> 00:08:34.523
Sometimes we want something.

00:08:35.003 --> 00:08:37.822
But we aren't really committed to it.

00:08:38.033 --> 00:08:41.182
There's a difference between wanting and committed.

00:08:41.785 --> 00:08:43.615
Think of things you're truly committed to.

00:08:44.331 --> 00:08:46.730
You're probably committed to being faithful to your spouse.

00:08:47.211 --> 00:08:49.431
You might be committed to showing up at your job.

00:08:49.791 --> 00:08:54.201
You have commitments to your children or maybe to your friends to show up at a certain time.

00:08:54.630 --> 00:08:57.841
A lot of times it's easier to be committed to other people.

00:08:58.230 --> 00:08:59.280
And not ourselves.

00:08:59.701 --> 00:09:06.331
Imagine, if you were as committed to the things you promised yourself, as you were to the things you promised to your loved ones.

00:09:07.041 --> 00:09:13.821
You are always the first person you're willing to cancel on and that's what needs to change to develop stronger commitment.

00:09:14.681 --> 00:09:16.480
When you're thinking you want to lose weight.

00:09:16.541 --> 00:09:18.461
I want you to ask yourself why.

00:09:19.030 --> 00:09:20.380
Why do I want this?

00:09:20.860 --> 00:09:22.931
And if you say so I can be healthy.

00:09:23.291 --> 00:09:24.100
That's not enough.

00:09:24.160 --> 00:09:26.711
You got to continue asking yourself why.

00:09:27.160 --> 00:09:33.191
Because no one puts their fork down when they're eating a delicious spaghetti dinner, because they just want to be healthy.

00:09:33.941 --> 00:09:34.750
That's the dinner.

00:09:34.750 --> 00:09:37.150
I tend to overeat if I'm not paying attention.

00:09:37.181 --> 00:09:41.020
And I don't just put my fork down because I'm like, well, I want to be healthy.

00:09:41.201 --> 00:09:43.061
Like, no, it's not enough.

00:09:43.091 --> 00:09:45.160
It's not enough of a commitment.

00:09:45.610 --> 00:09:50.770
We need more and better reasons we function better and can be more committed.

00:09:50.770 --> 00:09:54.520
If we have a very good reason for wanting to achieve our goals.

00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:58.870
So you see how commitment is much more than wanting.

00:09:59.171 --> 00:10:01.331
so I want you to continue asking why.

00:10:01.841 --> 00:10:03.280
Why do I want to lose weight?

00:10:03.370 --> 00:10:04.961
Why do I want to be healthy?

00:10:05.620 --> 00:10:06.520
And here's the thing.

00:10:06.520 --> 00:10:08.350
It doesn't have to be noble or special.

00:10:08.561 --> 00:10:14.561
You may get down to something physical or the way something looks in the mirror and maybe a certain item of clothing that you want to wear.

00:10:14.591 --> 00:10:15.250
That's fine.

00:10:15.880 --> 00:10:17.650
It may also be a functional reason.

00:10:17.681 --> 00:10:24.100
You have a vacation, you want to be able to walk, to see all the sites and it's 10 miles a day, and you want to be able to do that without pain.

00:10:24.461 --> 00:10:27.431
Maybe there's a hike you want to do this summer that you couldn't last summer.

00:10:27.730 --> 00:10:33.280
Maybe you want to go up the stairs in your home without trouble, or you just want to get your first pull-up.

00:10:33.760 --> 00:10:39.191
Continue asking yourself why and get as many reasons why you want this goal.

00:10:39.551 --> 00:10:40.390
As possible.

00:10:40.961 --> 00:10:44.020
These are the things that will help you develop your commitment.

00:10:44.711 --> 00:10:47.801
One thing to note, these reasons should be true.

00:10:48.280 --> 00:10:51.581
Regardless of what time it is or what day of the week.

00:10:52.301 --> 00:10:58.150
If they don't matter to you at 9:00 PM, when your spouse gets out the ice cream or your daughter starts popping popcorn.

00:10:58.390 --> 00:11:00.671
Then they don't actually matter.

00:11:01.301 --> 00:11:06.250
So many times late nights or weekends, we get into"so what?" Eating.

00:11:07.331 --> 00:11:12.671
So what it's just one, or I'll start again tomorrow, or it doesn't matter.

00:11:13.691 --> 00:11:16.331
If that isn't true in the morning.

00:11:16.811 --> 00:11:17.770
Or on Monday.

00:11:18.400 --> 00:11:22.061
Then it isn't actually true at 9:00 PM either.

00:11:22.870 --> 00:11:27.581
If you care a lot in the morning, or if it matters a lot.

00:11:27.910 --> 00:11:28.691
On Monday.

00:11:29.110 --> 00:11:32.620
Then it's a lie on Saturday night that it doesn't matter.

00:11:32.681 --> 00:11:34.541
Or man, I just don't care.

00:11:35.350 --> 00:11:36.370
You do care.

00:11:36.850 --> 00:11:38.530
Stop lying to yourself.

00:11:39.191 --> 00:11:45.551
When we develop our commitment, then our reasons for wanting to achieve our health and weight loss goals become easier to remember.

00:11:45.821 --> 00:11:47.291
24 hours a day.

00:11:48.071 --> 00:11:52.270
One way to start working on your commitment is to create a 24 hour practical plan.

00:11:52.691 --> 00:11:58.480
You know, I've talked about this a hundred times on the podcast, but decide in the morning what you will eat for the day.

00:11:58.870 --> 00:12:00.821
And then eat exactly that.

00:12:01.270 --> 00:12:03.191
When you first start just plan things.

00:12:03.221 --> 00:12:04.150
You're already going to eat.

00:12:04.451 --> 00:12:10.750
Because I guarantee if you plan a sandwich for lunch, your brain will be like, oh, well let's just have leftovers instead.

00:12:11.321 --> 00:12:14.350
It's not that the leftovers would be bad in some way.

00:12:14.711 --> 00:12:19.000
It's just that you want to practice eating exactly what you planned.

00:12:19.510 --> 00:12:25.961
This helps develop your commitment and believing yourself, you plan something and then you eat that thing.

00:12:26.230 --> 00:12:27.971
And then your brain goes, huh?

00:12:28.321 --> 00:12:29.760
I guess we can be trusted.

00:12:30.841 --> 00:12:39.360
Because remember if we're constantly canceling on ourselves, it's hard to believe we will ever be committed enough to actually lose our weight.

00:12:40.201 --> 00:12:41.311
Even with commitment.

00:12:41.730 --> 00:12:44.221
The two other emotions still play a part.

00:12:44.551 --> 00:12:45.451
Because you're human.

00:12:46.020 --> 00:12:48.990
You're not a robot and you will overeat.

00:12:49.380 --> 00:12:51.150
You will eat when you didn't plan to.

00:12:51.240 --> 00:12:58.380
And that's where you fall back on your confidence to handle the emotion of disappointment without going to more food.

00:12:58.860 --> 00:13:03.961
And you'll get curious about why that happened instead of judgmental.

00:13:04.711 --> 00:13:09.541
See how these three emotions are totally intertwined and yet essential for weight loss.

00:13:10.020 --> 00:13:11.010
They're my favorites.

00:13:11.791 --> 00:13:15.510
When you are thinking about how to create these emotions more often in your life.

00:13:15.841 --> 00:13:20.910
Start with thoughts that are outside the realm of weight loss, like how I said to get curious about plants.

00:13:21.331 --> 00:13:23.821
And other people and your job, et cetera.

00:13:24.211 --> 00:13:31.230
Think about ways you felt these emotions in the past or other things in your life you are confident about or committed to.

00:13:31.770 --> 00:13:34.980
And notice what thought led to that feeling?

00:13:35.520 --> 00:13:40.620
Then see how you can adopt that thought to your health and weight loss goals.

00:13:41.311 --> 00:13:44.971
If you need help, figuring out what thoughts help you to cultivate these emotions.

00:13:45.211 --> 00:13:47.910
Bring that to me in your free coaching call with me.

00:13:48.390 --> 00:14:00.000
You can get that schedule today and let me know, Hey, I want to work on some thoughts with you and ways to get started with my goals, and I will help you out link to get that scheduled is in the show notes as always.

00:14:00.030 --> 00:14:03.000
Thanks for listening and sharing the eat well think.

00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:04.890
Well live well podcast.

My Top 3 Emotions for Weight Loss [Ep. 98]

Listen On

Featured Episodes

Think Well Episodes

Recent Episodes

Eat Well Episodes

Think Well Episodes

Live Well Episodes

Browse episodes by category

New to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well?

Healthy Holiday Habits: How to Avoid Overeating This Season [Ep. 119]

Back to Basics: Cravings and What to Do With Them [Ep 65]

Lessons from Years of Coaching with Jody Moore [Ep. 54]