Lessons from Years of Coaching with Jody Moore [Ep. 54]

Lisa: 0:00

Hi,welcome back to the eat.Well,The inkwell LivWell podcast.I'm Lisa Saulsbury.And this is episode54lessons from years of coaching with Jody Moore.You guys.I am so excited about this episode.I've teased this a little over the last couple of weeks,knowing that I was going to be interviewing Jodi.And having her on the podcast,she is such a special guest to have,and also it was just fun to catch up with her.We chatted for so long before we hit record.So I will let this episode speak for itself.Really?No introduction is needed if you know Jody,but I will say that we will be talking about several of the lessons that I learned from Jody over the years.And having her teach those to you in her own words,I will say this is not an exhaustive list.Jody is my main coach.And so I've listened to her.I'm in coached by her.More than any other coach.So of course I have tons of other lessons.I just picked some of my top favorites that I think are really applicable to weight loss.And what you,my listeners are probably going through.Before we jump into this episode,though,I do want to tell you about a limited time offer.I am making to you listeners on the podcast.I am opening up10spots on my calendar in the next four weeks for a food planning session.I know you're probably thinking that losing weight just doesn't work for you.And that you wish you could,but you also just can't figure out what to eat and what works for your body.You're not sure,like maybe what diet plan to follow and how that might fit in with thought work that I teach.So I am setting aside time for10of you to jump on a call with me and get your meals planned.In order to get you started.I want to get you out of confusion.So come to this free food planning session with me and you'll leave knowing exactly what to eat.To start losing weight.Also,I will be gifting you the workbook that goes with my jumpstart,your weight loss sessions that I used to do.Those were90minutes and ran225.So you'll be getting that short workbook included in this free session.And we'll be using some of the worksheets during the call and then some will be just extra for you to do on your own.So that's just a little bonus.So if you go to schedule right away,it's going to look like there's lots of times available,like more than10,but I have a limit on my calendar so that once10are booked,there won't be any more available.So it might look like there's a lot and you're going to say,oh,I'll just schedule it later,but I promise you,they are going to fill up.And so they,they,like I said,it looks like there's more available than there actually is because once a certain number get booked in the week,then there's no more available in that week in all of those.All of that availability will go away.So,um,let me be honest as well.If at the end of the call,I think you're a good fit for my coaching program.I will let you know,but the call is free either way.Okay.Let's get to my conversation with Jody.Welcome to Eat Well,Think Well,Live Well;the podcast for women who want to lose weight,but are tired of counting and calculating all the food.I'm your host,Lisa Salsbury.I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach,and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter.I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry,instead of worrying so much about what you are eating.I am so excited for this episode today to mark the one year anniversary of The Eat Well Think Well Live Well podcast.I asked my very first life coach,Jody Moore to come on the podcast and she was so gracious to say yes.So I am so excited.You probably don't need an introduction to many of my listeners,but just in case there's someone out there that doesn't know who you are,

Jody: 3:47

Hmm.There might be a few.

Lisa: 3:51

if you could just give us a little introduction and tell us what you do,that would be great.

Jody: 3:55

Yeah,I'm Jody Moore.I'm a life coach.I have a,a coaching program,uh,mainly geared towards members of the l d s church or those with kind of similar values where we do all kinds of life stuff,confidence,relationship,parenting,all those kinds of topics.And then I also do,um,some business coaching now for coaches.Coaches,not coaches,coaches.Um,healers or experts and,I've been coaching now for almost10years,and Lisa,you were one of my first clients ever.

Lisa: 4:29

Yep.

Jody: 4:30

Way back in the day.So

Lisa: 4:31

On the

Jody: 4:32

and I go way back on the phone and you were so gracious.'cause I was a newer co I was a new coach,definitely.And,um,hopefully at the time you didn't know it,but my coaching wasn't nearly as on point as it has become,and yet together we made a lot of progress.So for new coaches listening,Doesn't matter.Your clients are gonna be the ones that make their progress anyway.It's actually not even about the coach,it's about what the client chooses to do with it.So,

Lisa: 5:01

I went and found my very first workbook that Jody sent me when we were working together.I still have it.It's so

Jody: 5:08

Does it say like,be bold with like a woman on the cover or something?Is

Lisa: 5:12

she's like walking across the street.She's got like a coffee and a

Jody: 5:15

really cool looking.Right.I st I have a copy of that too.Yeah,I remember creating that.

Lisa: 5:20

And the thing is that the most important topic is in there and it's that your thoughts create your feelings,and that was what I learned mostly from you.It's just that like core,original topic of the model.And so you did a great job of that,but.it was so funny because we had been working together.We did one-on-one,and then I joined a group program that you did with a few other ladies,and I decided to attend one of your first live events,and it was a conference that was several days long.I still keep in touch with several women that I met there,but the funniest part about that is when I was getting ready to go and I'm telling my kids,They were like,you have a secret life coach.

Jody: 6:07

Like they didn't know about me before then.I

Lisa: 6:09

They had no idea.They had no idea that I had been

Jody: 6:11

by the way,for everybody listening,like before I was doing a podcast,probably maybe I started the podcast in the middle of all that somewhere,

Lisa: 6:18

Maybe,

Jody: 6:18

I didn't have a podcast in the beginning,so I wasn't a household name for all the kids.

Lisa: 6:23

yeah.We weren't listening in the car,and so yeah,they were like,wait.What are you even talking about mom?Like,they were so amazed.But,um,I often credit Jody for just the parent that I am,the wife that I am,and,and I was just telling her before we started recording the mother-in-law that I plan to be.So that's on the horizon in December,getting my very first daughter-in-law.So that's exciting.And it's also fun because I get to tell Jody,Hey,that kid that you've coached me on so many times,

Jody: 6:59

Yay.He's on track.It's working.I'm gonna need you to coach me on mine now.Mine are getting to be that age,so

Lisa: 7:07

old is your oldest now?

Jody: 7:08

my oldest is17,he's gonna be senior next year,and then I have a daughter who's almost16.So I got two teenagers and two little ones still.But anyway,that's another time I'll have you coach me on all the,all that stuff.

Lisa: 7:22

All the big kid stuff.Yeah.The,the teenage.Moving into adult parenting.I was actually coaching a client on that yesterday with like,okay,I've got this adult child and how that's really different than a child.Child,so,okay.

Jody: 7:35

it is.

Lisa: 7:36

So what I thought we would talk about today with Jody is to hear from her some of the lessons that she has taught me over the years.Some of these things are just little snippets that she sort of touched on here and there in the podcast,or sometimes during coaching calls in her Be Bold program that I'm in.I hardly ever make those calls live,but I do listen to them.A lot recorded.So I do love that program.I still consider Jody to be one of my coaches,even though I don't really coach with her live anymore.So I use these concepts not only in my own life,but with my clients all the time.The first one I wanted to talk about is disappointment.Either way.This comes up a lot with eating and nutrition when we're thinking about our weight loss.So,Teach us that concept.

Jody: 8:32

Yeah.Okay,so I'll just preface it by saying it sounds like a disappointing concept.It sounds like a bummer,but it's actually,I mean,it is kind of a bummer,but it's kind of,it's empowering.At least I'll say that I,for me and probably for you,Lisa.So,I remember the first time this really sunk in for me,I was working on trying to improve some of my eating habits,um,which is a tough thing to do because I do not enjoy cooking.I am not great with food and all of that,and I really actually like a cheeseburger and fries.Like if I have my choice,I will just drive through disgusting fast food.I don't even care.It like hits the spot for me.It fills me up.It's cheap,it's fast.I'm satiated.Um,At age48,my body's not tolerating that as well.But the even bigger problem is that after I eat that greasy,salty food,I always want something sweet after.

Lisa: 9:32

Mm-hmm.

Jody: 9:32

Um,and so I was just noticing this one day I was trying to improve my eating habits,but I'm a believer in,you know,kind of like gradually making changes,not like overnight starving yourself or whatever.So I had still for whatever reason,gone that day,driven out and picked up some probably greasy fast food.But I was thinking,what if I don't eat?A chocolate bar after or whatever is gonna be this ice cream or whatever I wanna eat.What if I just eat lunch?'cause I'm full now.I'm definitely not hungry.I'm satiated.What if I don't have a sweet treat afterwards?And what came up for me was disappointment.I was like,it's just so disappointing.Like that's what we do after a nice,salty,greasy meal is we top it off with something sweet and if we don't and we just go back to the office and start working and doing other things and we skip that part,it's just so disappointing.And I kept realizing,I,it's disappointment.That's the emotion I'm trying to escape.And then I thought about,How I feel when I go to put on the clothes that I bought not that long ago,and they don't fit my body and how I feel when I don't look like myself in the mirror and how I feel when I'm more achy and like my back hurts because my core isn't as strong as it used to be.All those things,I realized what I feel is disappointment

Lisa: 11:02

There it is.

Jody: 11:03

and it suddenly hit me.I am gonna be disappointed one way or another.I'm either gonna be disappointed right now for a little while as I deny myself the craving and urge I have.Or I'm gonna be disappointed later as my health deteriorates and my lifestyle deteriorates and all of that,because I'm just at that age where you just can't get away with what I used to be able to without watching my,my self deteriorate a little bit.So I'm gonna be disappointed either way,and it was like this light bulb that went off.I could be disappointed right now for a little while,but it's disappointment that.Is for a good reason.That is helping me progress more towards what I want in the long run.Or I could skip that disappointment right now and just eat,eat something sweet and keep on this path of being long-term disappointed in what I'm creating.So it was kind of revolutionary for me to realize that disappointment either way.

Lisa: 12:06

Yeah,and like you said,it,it feels like,oh,well,could we just choose a different emotion?Like this whole concept sounds disappointing,but the,the fastest way to choose a different emotion is to feel the disappointment at the beginning,and then you're very likely to get into confidence,commitment,and motivation.I sometimes notice that motivation is actually found in my result line.And I think that that,because it often comes after taking action,motivation does.And so I think that we can get into motivation after being disappointed if we choose it right away.If we choose the disappointment right away,choose to process the craving,choose to feel that,and then we're like,look what I did,

Jody: 12:58

That's so true.Yeah.And,and because that's true,you don't have to be disappointed,right?Like that's what we,that what you and I teach with the model,like disappointment's coming from what I'm thinking.And maybe I could think something different,especially certainly like when my clothes don't fit,I don't have to be disappointed.I could be like,who caress these clothes are wrong.Let's go get some new clothes.Like,and I,I'm a fan of all of that too,by the way.Right?But,um,so it's not that.There's no way to escape the disappointment.It's just that in that moment when I'm trying to decide do I give into this urge or craving or not,and my brain's like,but why do we,why would we need to be disappointed when there's such an easy fix?Like just go have a Reese's peanut butter cup that will do it,and then we won't be disappointed and we'll just move on with our day and it'll be fine.And it's true,it would be fine,except that when I realized like there's just a whole bunch of other disappointment,I'm either gonna have to work on it now,or I'm gonna have to work on it later.There's so there's no escaping it either way.I did realize through this that I actually had this fear of disappointment for some reason,like I noticed when it's Christmas time.The reason I buy way too many gifts for my kids is not because of them.They don't even really care.It's because I have this thought like,oh no,I don't want one of'em to be disappointed.Christmas morning,if there was like,what if I don't get the one thing that they were just really hoping for?Then they'll be disappointed.That would be terrible.I'd feel so bad if they were disappointed.I realized,wait,I have this like odd fear of disappointment for myself or my kids.Right?When you see one of your kids,not,when I see my teenage daughter not get invited and she sees her friends on social media hanging out,I'm just like,oh,like it pulls at my heart.I'm like,she's just disappointed.She's hurt too.Maybe there's some other emotions,but I realized what Disappointment is not that big of a deal,Jody.We don't have to run away from it.We don't have to save our kids from it.It's okay.It's just a feeling.

Lisa: 14:49

And I think it's so common though,because we do have this cute acronym,fomo,fear of Missing Out.That's disappointment,right?Miss Missing Out is actually you're disappointed that you're not there.And so it's,so common that it's.Actually a hashtag,

Jody: 15:07

It's actually a a hashtag.And if we just got used to like,I can,this is just disappointment.I'll just take a deep breath,maybe go for a walk,maybe talk to a friend.Like there are healthy ways to process it.And then I'm like,it might serve all of us and my kids better to learn how to move through disappointment rather than just try to prevent it at all costs,

Lisa: 15:30

Mm-hmm.

Jody: 15:31

you know?

Lisa: 15:32

Yeah.

Jody: 15:32

Anyway.

Lisa: 15:33

Choose it at the forefront,and then learn how to move through it.

Jody: 15:36

Yeah.How to cope with it Right.In healthy ways.

Lisa: 15:40

because that's what's gonna meet your health goals as well,is if we choose it at the beginning.

Jody: 15:45

Yeah.

Lisa: 15:46

Yeah.Okay.I love that one.Love it.We're just gonna,we're just gonna jump from little snippets to

Jody: 15:53

Let's just go,let's keep going.Okay.

Lisa: 15:55

So,have you ever heard Jody say,I don't know,is always a lie.She gets me on this one.In fact,in fact,we were chit-chatting a little before we hit record.And I was like,I don't know,Jody,I don't know.And I'm like,oh,oh no.I just said,I don't know why is that true?And I,I hear this a lot with my clients.They'll tell me,well,I don't know why I can't lose weight.I don't know what the best thing is to eat.And I mean,that's a Google search away,right?Like lack of information,not the problem that we're not eating vegetables.

Jody: 16:31

Mm-hmm.Well,when they say,I don't know what to e,if I were you,I just go veggies and plain chicken breasts.You know,this is what I do with my business clients.I'm like,well,I just don't know how much to charge.Right?Like they're trying to create their program.I don't know how much to charge,and I go$5,000.That's how much you should charge now.What?And they're,I watch them be like,was that right?Or like,could it be that simple?Like it really is,you just pick,right?So you should know,Lisa,that I don't just get you on that.I get myself on it all the time because,um,my brain tries to tell me the same thing.I'm tempted to give the same answer,but what I don't know is,is a stopper.It's like a shutdown mechanism for the brain,right?So we do this when we're kind of overwhelmed or tired,or it's a subject that we have lots of thoughts and ideas about,and it's exhausting for our brains to sift through all of that.And it feels scary to make a decision and commit to something because then we actually have to move forward and we're afraid of it not working and all of the judgment we're gonna have.So it's,it's just the brain being afraid slash.Not wanting to work hard in the prefrontal cortex,right?Use that higher part of the brain.So it just says,I don't know,because then it can just shut down.Soon as we say.I don't know.We stop trying to figure it out.So I don't know is a lie because you have lots of ideas,right?You have lots of ideas,you have lots of advice.You've probably heard lots of people talk about it.You certainly have some guesses.It's just you don't wanna be wrong.You're afraid of people judging it,maybe,um,maybe you're gonna judge yourself.You don't wanna move forward.It's easier to be stuck in confusion than to just take action sometimes.So for all those reasons we say,I don't know,but that's why I don't know,is a lie.Like,um,in,uh,when it comes to food,you know,sometimes somebody will say,well,yesterday I was going to eat this way.This was my plan.And then I,and then I just,I didn't,I just,you know,lunchtime came around.I was really hungry.I didn't have the food I thought,and so I just started eating a bunch of stuff.I'll go,okay,so why did you not stick to your plan?And they'll say,I don't

Lisa: 18:51

know.

Jody: 18:52

Right?

Lisa: 18:53

Yeah.

Jody: 18:54

And it's because the only other thing they can think of is,I'm terrible,I'm weak.I'm never gonna lose weight.No,there's this,all this judgment.I'm like,no,you had a really valid reason.A really specific moment at which you made the decision to not eat on plan.Tell me about that moment and when We can just examine the moment without judging it.Like I,the baby was crying and I was stressed,and so I didn't feel like making my salad okay.Or I didn't have the groceries in the house that I,whatever.There's always a specific moment and some valid reasons why.We then eat off plan.I got too hungry,I whatever.Um,then we can use that as useful information.Okay.So what we know is we need to have some pre-chopped veggies and salads ready to go because baby might start crying and.How are we gonna handle that going forward or whatever we can learn from it.If we can answer the question specifically,if we just shut it down with,I don't know,then we miss the golden nugget of failure,which is the learning that takes place.And so whether it be that type of an opportunity,you're looking back on a failure or just you're making a decision about the future,I don't know,is just the brain's way of shutting down.So I like to.Answer it with,well,let's just take a guess or let's just,let's just make it up.

Lisa: 20:24

So many times,well,if you did know,what would it be?And I,and my poor clients,they're,I'm like,here's,here's my Jody for you.But if you did know,

Jody: 20:35

what would you say?I.

Lisa: 20:36

What would you say if you did know?

Jody: 20:37

It's amazing to me,Lisa,what people come up with when you ask that question.Right?Like,again,I coach entrepreneurs,so they'll say,well,I'm,I'm thinking of starting this new business,but I,I don't know what I would do.I don't know who I would help or something.Right?And I,and I,I just had a live event.We had a,a man there who was a teacher and he kind of wants to leave teaching and start his own business.I was like,okay,what,what kind of business would you start?And he's like,I don't know.And I said,well,if you did know,what would you say?And he.Told me it wasn't,I take it back.Sorry.It wasn't a new business.He wanted to change jobs.He wanted a new,a new field.I said,if you did know,what would you say?He's like,I wanna work in like the national forest industry.I wanna be outside in parks,like where there are people fishing and hiking.And,and I was like,seems like you do know what you wanna do,right?We say,I don't know,because we think it's wrong.We think we can't.We think that people will judge it.We think we're that it's impossible for us.All of that is just more useful to know than just to say,I don't know.

Lisa: 21:38

Yeah.Because then you can,you can figure out,well,is it'cause of other people?Is it because of my thoughts?Is it,and then we have something we can actually work on and

Jody: 21:46

that's right.That's right.Then we can work on all of that instead of just not knowing.Yeah.

Lisa: 21:53

Yeah.Perfect.I love it.It's such a good reminder because we default to that so often and it's such a good reminder that that's just because it's kind of that like shutting down,keeping ourselves safe because we don't really love change,and so if you don't know what to do,you just keep doing what you're doing.

Jody: 22:14

Yeah.And the other one I like in addition to,um,if you did know,what would you say is just make it up.Like I say that to myself when I'm like,I don't know what I should call this program,or I don't know how much you know,if I should try this opt-in,or I don't know what,what should I be eating for breakfast these days?I just don't know.And then I tell myself,well,what if we were to just make it up?Because it implies that there's not a right answer that and that there's not like,remember this one expert I heard?Tell me this.It's like my own wisdom.Which incorporates more of what I know about me and my life and et cetera.And so I'm like,well,if I just,if I could just make it up,I would just say this and it,that gives me the permission to just take a guess.You know what I mean?So anyway,

Lisa: 23:01

I think too,this has helped me with taking action on like buying things I know people that are just lost in like analysis paralysis.I don't know which one to get.And there was something recently,I can't remember now what the product was,but someone asked me like,well,how did you decide which one to get?And I was like,I just picked one.

Jody: 23:22

Yeah,

Lisa: 23:23

I just picked one.Like,and.

Jody: 23:26

what you didn't make a spreadsheet and talk to10people?

Lisa: 23:30

I just,and years,again,I,I have all these like,old memories of Jody.Years ago she had a website being built and she told us,I just got a couple of web designers and then I picked the one'cause,um,I liked her name and I figured everyone can build a

Jody: 23:45

true.Her name was Breezy.I remember this.

Lisa: 23:49

And you're like,I like that,that,that'll be fine.Like everyone that says they can build a website,probably can build a website Let's not,let's not just be stuck and I don't know which one to pick.Like just pick one,go with it and,

Jody: 24:02

It's so true and that that is,um,that will help you move towards your goals so much faster than,than what the brain wants to do is say,an indecision.Right?But if you're just like,I don't know which meal plan to follow.I don't know what to eat,be eating,uh,I don't know if I should intermittent fast or not.Like there's,should I do keto?Should I,there's all the different advice out there,right?Should I go off sugar completely or should I just minimize it?I don't know.No,none of that.Just pick.Just pick one,but then commit to it and then notice everything that comes up afterwards.But yeah,you literally just pick one.I,I do like to pick things for dumb reasons like that.Like I just like her name because in the end,the decision,so if you think about the model we teach,the decision itself of which web designer I hire,which diet I'm gonna go on,or,or whatever,right?that goes in the circumstance line,which means it doesn't create our result.I'm gonna create the result.So let's say I hire a web designer and then she stops delivering what she said she was going to,and it's not professional.Well,then I'm gonna step in and have a tough conversation with her and,and make some requests and have some deadlines.And if that doesn't work,I'm gonna request my money back and like I'm gonna create the result so it doesn't matter which one I pick,you know what I mean?And I,and there's pros and cons to any decision.So just pick one and go.

Lisa: 25:24

Yeah.Perfect.Okay,this is a tiny little topic Jody taught years ago.She called it transitions.I think it was like a podcast,like you might go deep,deep in the podcast.transitions.Challenge us.Sometimes it challenges the brain to shift from one place to another,one role to another.You're going from,from like being in your career,like working and then coming home to being mom,or you are going from,you know,maybe you work from home or just mom to wife.All of these things that you transition in roles or just transition in place.You arrive home,you get in the car.This,it was so common for me.Back when I was in my like yo-yo dieting stages.And especially in those times where I was like,well just forget it.I just won't work on it.Right.To get a snack.Every time I got in the car,every time I was like,I better have a snack.And looking back,I,I thought,why did I need a cheese stick to go pick up the kids from school?Like,it was like a15minute round trip situation.Like

Jody: 26:31

You weren't gonna get hungry on the way necessarily.

Lisa: 26:36

but Jody identified this as transitions,so do you remember that?

Jody: 26:42

I totally remember this and it's still really relevant for me anyway in my life.I used to work in corporate okay.All day at a corporate job.And I had two little kids at the time who I would take to this woman's house.She watched them.Her name was Polly.And whenever I went to pick'em up,I usually picked'em up around four or four30in the afternoon to drive home.Um,I would walk in the door and they would both start crying and not like they didn't wanna see me.It was like this weird,I was like,why did they get a,why did they like get fussy?And they were little,you know?But I was like,why did they always get fussy?I wonder,um,at this point in Polly,this really wise woman who is older than me and had raised a lot of kids,she said,yeah,kids just have a hard time in transition.It's just a transition from being at my house to now they're gonna go home with mom.And,and especially even babies.They notice like a transition like that.And so I was thinking about that,like you said,in my own life,that for me,um,I work here at home in my office and as soon as I got done with like a coaching call for example,that would usually be like an hour and a half.and I would be like,oh,that was a great call.I should go get a snack.And or just like you,I'm going to get the kids.I should grab a little,at least a Diet Coke,if not a snack to take with me.And that's when I realized,okay,just shifting tasks.Even if it's a shift I wanna make,like I wanna be done working and then go hang out with the kids,or I wanna,these are,these are not always negative things.It's still new atmosphere,new something to focus on.It's a just a little enough of a change that a snack feels like.It sort of takes the edge off making that switch.And so I just started kind of one day.Playing with that idea and reminding myself this is just a transition,it doesn't mean that we ha need to have food accompanying it necessarily if we're not hungry.And,um,just let it be a little bit uncomfortable for a minute and you'll settle in and be fine.And for me,what I had to do was sometimes be like,Listen,let's just get into the new phase.Let's just like be done working and,and like,we'll figure out what we're gonna do next,and then if15minutes later I still wanna snack,maybe we'll have one,but let's just not have it to get through the transition.Let's just learn how to transition without it,

Lisa: 29:02

Yeah.

Jody: 29:03

know what I mean?

Lisa: 29:04

Yeah,that is so.Good.Like really assess.'cause then you're asking yourself,am I really hungry for a snack?Do I really need some food?Or is it just the softening of that transition

Jody: 29:16

Yeah,because I'm trying to learn to remove my association with food from emotions,which I think is probably work we all have to do

Lisa: 29:28

is the work?

Jody: 29:29

I.When we're little kids and we're sad,our parents give us ice cream.And then when we did a really good job at our piano recital,they give us ice cream.So we learned that when you're sad or really feeling proud of yourself,ice cream.Is the thing that goes with it.So we start association associating food with emotions.Right?So I think,and I don't mean to blame our parents,like their parents taught them that,and the world has taught all of us that.So it's just learning to disassociate like food.It's,and I am,I'm sure you believe this too,it's,I think it's fine to get pleasure out of food,but um,But I just wanna make sure that I am not doing it to deal with the emotion.And it's not a huge negative emotion or anything even right.Sometimes we're like,I'm stressed or whatever.Sometimes I'm like,no.Just like a little bit of restlessness of like,Hey,I'm done working.What do I need to do now?And like,think it's just a tiny little subtle emotion,but I still for some reason wanna attach food to it.So I'm trying to just disassociate food from emotions.

Lisa: 30:30

Yeah,and I totally agree.Like I want my food to be pleasurable when I'm hungry,and I think the most pleasurable time to eat is when I'm really hungry.Then I'm like,

Jody: 30:40

Yes.Food tastes so good when you're actually hungry.

Lisa: 30:43

I'm ready for a meal.I want it to be delicious.

Jody: 30:45

yeah,yeah,So true.

Lisa: 30:47

As my clients have heard me say like more of that food is not gonna increase the enjoyment of that experience,

Jody: 30:54

That is true.

Lisa: 30:55

more of it is actually,once you get into the overing over stage,then you're gonna decrease the enjoyment.So I love for food to be pleasurable up to the point where I am just done full.Whatever word you like to use,I've had plenty and then stop.Because if we carry on past that point,then the enjoyment decreases.

Jody: 31:17

That's right.Then you're like,oh,why'd I do that?

Lisa: 31:20

Yes.

Jody: 31:21

Unfortunately,I still do that sometimes.Just saying.

Lisa: 31:24

Well,we all do you know,nobody loses weight without overeating.It's just not possible.'cause we're not robots.

Jody: 31:33

point.

Lisa: 31:34

you're going to overeat sometimes,and the goal is just to overeat less often than you used to.

Jody: 31:39

Mm-hmm.

Lisa: 31:41

That's all So easy.Right.

Jody: 31:43

Yes,it's,it is a good thought though.I appreciate it.'cause it's true,like we get so in that all or nothing thinking.Which is just a lie.Like it's not even people who are really healthy and fit,um,sometimes overeat or they're not perfect in their,you know,behaviors,so.

Lisa: 32:02

and if they are,that's probably a form of disordered eating.

Jody: 32:06

Mm-hmm.

Lisa: 32:06

If they only eat what we would consider,quote unquote perfect,if they're only eating protein and vegetables or you know,whatever this ideal meal is,that's bordering on disordered,right?If they're not able to be flexible when the,you know,when the time is is

Jody: 32:25

Yeah,yeah,Yeah.that's very true.

Lisa: 32:28

That kind of brings us actually into the next topic I wanted to talk about because when we,when we do overeat,there tends to be shame around that and I.I like to bring my clients into just,okay,we have over eaten.Like let's just stop there with the emotion.Let's just assess like,why did that happen?How is my body feeling right now?Let's really think about how the body is feeling and not get into shame around this.And one of the ways that you teach this kind of is the difference between clean and dirty pain.And so if I've over eaten,I wanna just be disappointed.Here,here we go.Disappointment.I just wanna be disappointed that I didn't follow the plan and just be like,oh,shoot.Like that is not who I wanted to be today.and that's like a clean pain.I don't want to spiral into that dirty pain of I'm never gonna lose weight.Of course you did that.You're so dumb.All of those kinds of things that,you know,um,another favorite is,you know better.Oh,my brain loves to tell me,you know,better.

Jody: 33:35

Hmm.Yeah.Okay.Let me just tell you with this one,I started thinking of it lately as,'cause this is relationship with self-work,right?Of,of how do you,what is your relationship like with yourself and the healthier your relationship with yourself,the more successful you're gonna be at your goals.Like,that's just the truth.So I started thinking about myself in three different parts.There's like current me.Then there's past Jody and Future Jody,and what I notice is that when,uh,current me is now stuffed because past me,even if it was just five minutes ago,me,that's still past me,right past me over eight.She thought it tasted really good or she just wasn't paying attention and she was just busy talking or whatever,and so she ate more than we needed and now current me is paying the price of that.Okay.Then yes.Just like if one of my children.Makes a choice that I don't think is in their long-term best interest or is them at their highest.Then like you said,that clean pain is like,I'm disappointed,right?If that were to happen,um,then clean pain is like,I'm disappointed that my child chose that,but I love that child.Ideally at my best I'm like,what's going on?Child of mine.Hey,why did,why did you do that?Are you sure you wanna do that?Like,I'm having a useful discussion.Can I support you?Anyway,thought we agreed this wasn't gonna serve you.That's how I wanna be thinking about pass.Jody.Hey,pass,Jody,I see you ate a lot more food than we needed.I'm feeling pretty sick right now,but you know what?I'm willing to tolerate that for you because I love you and you know what?I'll get through it.But just so you know,it is very uncomfortable right now.What happened?What was that about?Do you need something that you're not getting?Um,what's going on in your life that we might need to work on?Um,what emotion were you trying to escape?Right?Like,all of that,like curiosity,that's gonna serve me along with like,it's kind of a bummer that I gotta feel this way now,but I love you enough that I'm not mad at you,and I hope that you enjoyed that food even.Hope you got some pleasure out of it.'cause now I'm paying the price for it.You're welcome.Like a healthy relationship.As I worked on having that healthy relationship with past me,guess what happened?I had a healthier relationship with Future Me.So when it was time to eat again,I now present me is like,this is really good.I don't really wanna stop eating it.I think about future,man.I'm like,but you know what?I love you enough.I'm going to.Because I'm not gonna put you through that pain that I had to go through the other day.So you're welcome.Like it's a overall relationship with me.It's a balance of past me,present me,and future me.And sometimes present me is like,I'm sorry,future me.You're gonna regret this,but we're gonna eat this thing right now.You know what I mean?And that,so it's like truly is just like a relationship with any oth other person.When it's healthiest,it's compassionate,and it's considerate.Of the other people in the relationship.

Lisa: 36:52

Hmm.

Jody: 36:53

So that has helped me a lot to stop shaming myself,which ironically,and yet not ironically,helped you actually start improving your eating habits.

Lisa: 37:06

Yeah.Wow.I haven't heard you do teach it in that exact way,so that was really good.Yeah.Thank you.I.We get a lot of shame around,especially when we're coaching.Um,Jody focuses on coaching members of the church that we both belong to,and so we believe that God created our bodies this way and gave us these bodies and that they are a gift.And I think,uh,for most people that have any religious tendencies,kind of see that as well.And I noticed that some of my clients create shame around that.They're like,I should take better care of this gift I've been given.And they create this,you know,Really unneeded shame.It's really a misuse of thinking of your body as a gift and I find that that creates a lot of,a lot of dirty pain for them as

Jody: 37:52

Yeah.Yeah,that's an interesting one.I mean,I do like the idea that the more we love our bodies,the more we're gonna wanna take care of them,right?So like the whole like hating it and thinking it's terrible and disgusting and ugly and all that,doesn't work.But,I just.You know,you can apply kind of the same concept,but with your body relationship,with your body.So sometimes I'm like,Hey,body,sorry,that you have to figure out now where to store all that extra fuel or figure out how to digest like you are.You're gonna have to do some work now.I'm so sorry because literally I'm not doing the work.My body's doing it.I don't know how it does it,right.It's processing that food or storing it on my butt or whatever it's doing with the extra food that I ate that I'm not gonna be able to use as energy.So I'm like,sorry,body.But you know what the thing is,is I think about my body as also loving me.I don't think that my body's like,Ugh,you should be taking better care of me.Don't,you know,God created me.I,I just don't think of it that way.I think of my body as like,you know,it's okay,I got this.You,you're probably gonna need new pants eventually,but I know where to put it.It's fine.I'll,I can,I've been putting it here for a while.I,we can add some more and like,My body is,is like,yeah,this isn't the kind of work I like doing.The kind of work I like doing is when you go for a walk and you lift some weights and you break down the muscle and I get to build new muscle.That's what I like doing.That's the fun work for my body.But if I require my body to do the other kind of work of storing fat and you know,making sure the insulin takes care of my blood sugar and then I digest and all that,it's like,I can do it.It's fine.I know how to do it.That's,that's the way I think about it.I don't,I don't think that,I think it's the body and I together trying to serve one another.And then when I decide,you know what,I'm gonna go into a calorie deficit and I'm gonna try to,to access some of that fat.Now it's the same thing.I have to be like,listen body,I'm sorry you're not gonna like this either actually.'cause now you're all,all that fat that you stored down in the basement.I need you to go down and get it now instead of me giving you more.I need you to go get what we stored way down in the basement.It's like,what?I gotta go all the way down in the basement to get my fuel.I'm like,yeah,sorry,but we need to clean out the basement.It's kind of gotten outta control.So it's the same thing.I'm like,listen though,I'm not gonna starve you.I'm not gonna push you to a point where you're like,really can't handle it.I'm not.I don't.I don't hate you.I'm not mad at you.It's not wrong that you put all that extra in the basement.Like that's,that's what you had to do.Thanks.But now we're gonna,we're gonna clean it up.Okay?So stay with me.I'm gonna take care of you.I'm gonna listen to you.If you're really hungry,I'm gonna give you food.Okay.But I think that we could access,I think we could get some stuff out of the basement.And I think if we work together,then it,it's gonna serve us both in the long run.So it's,it's that relationship with your body too.I know I sound like a crazy person and I am kind of,but,so

Lisa: 41:01

But that's why I love you so much because like I love all the,like,that totally makes sense to me.I just thinking about our,our bodies and just,we're not gonna change from a place of hate.you've tried that every.Every woman listening to this has tried that.You've tried being like,okay,I hate the way I look.I'm gonna have to change.I'm gonna have to do something about it.Yeah,exactly.Time to start over,get back on the wagon,all these things.Oh,that's another thing Jody taught me.There's no wagon.Just so you know.I have an episode on that.Here's a driver.Um,but you know,you,you hear these things.You hear the things that we've always said,and that has not worked.Like,what if you worked with your body?What if you were like,I love you so much,I want to clean out that basement.I want to actually not put fuel in you right now because we have enough on board and I love you enough not to have to give you that extra work to do.

Jody: 42:03

Yeah,so much better that way.And then,you know,the,what we think is that once we lose the weight,then we'll,we'll love ourselves.But you don't have to wait for that is the good news.You can work on that right now and you can feel like that does feel good to appreciate yourself and your body and to like your body,but don't wait till the weight comes off to do it.Work on doing it now and then ironically,that's an easier way to get the weight off.Yeah.

Lisa: 42:29

It is crazy and the problem is I find that like.We can't really go from,I hate this body and my thighs are disgusting to,my body is beautiful.It's too big of a jump.Our brains are like gonna just reject that out of hand.Like,nope,that's dumb.So we have to kind of,you know,bridge or ladder those thoughts,which is,how do you like to do that with clients that are working on this kind of body love type,um,work.

Jody: 42:57

Well for me,one of my favorite thoughts that I offer a lot to clients is,bodies are funny looking,like if we're talking about appearance,I mean,they really are like,uh,you know these movies that are like sci-fi alien movies,and you're like,what does the alien look like?And whatever that movie,the,the author or director or whatever decided that the alien was gonna look like,you're like,oh,interesting.They have all these different limbs and they have multiple mouths and like,they're,they're weird looking,right?And so I like to imagine like somebody who'd never seen human bodies was like,what do bodies look like?In our minds,if we're like the Victoria's Secret model,no,that's not actually what bodies look like.

Lisa: 43:41

Nope.

Jody: 43:41

part,what bodies look like is all different sizes and shapes and heights and like lumps in places.And you know,like,so even,you know,art society has come a long way,I'd say since you and I were,were growing up in terms of like what we see portrayed in the media.But still,I noticed.That there's like either thin models or plus size models and,and I'm like,what about someone like me that I like?I can't wear plus size clothes because I don't have the boobs to fill it out.And,and my shoulders are actually pretty narrow,but I have the curvy bottom in some places,so I'm like,I'm not plus size,but I'm not the skinny.I'm like,For sure there's still something wrong with me.'cause if I'm gonna be a big girl,fine.I see lots of big girls that are awesome and pretty and I don't have any problem with that.But they all ha are kind of voluptuous.They have big boobs and things and I'm like,I,I don't fit that mold either.So like,bodies actually are just funny looking kind of,they're,they're all different shapes and sizes and proportions and that's what bodies are.So,I love the book more than a Body.I can't remember the author's names.They're sisters.

Lisa: 44:58

kites.

Jody: 44:59

Yes.more than Body by the Kite Sisters.And,just the whole premise that like our bodies are actually not ornaments.Like the physical,the,this whole all bodies are beautiful movement is healthier than where we were,but it still makes the body ornamental.The body is not really meant to be ornamental.It's not an object.It's a vehicle by which you experience the world.It's the,it's more like,it's like a,it's like a spaceship that we get in and then we get to cruise around space and we get to see things and we get to feel and smell and taste and touch things through this body.And it's just so much more like what the spaceship looks like might be kind of interesting,but so much more interesting is what it can do and where it can take us and,and what it's capable of.And so I think that that's a healthy way to try to shift away from if you're hating the appearance of your body.I don't even think going to loving the appearance of your body is the opposite of that.I think it's like a more complete appreciation of your body.Its appearance is like the least interesting part of it.You know what I mean?

Lisa: 46:05

Yeah.totally.Your scale weight and what you ate that day is like the least interesting news.It's,It's,really just not that

Jody: 46:13

It's just not that interesting in the end.Yeah.Like there's just so many way more miraculous things about your body than what it looks like.

Lisa: 46:23

I definitely started,doing this work for me.I was doing a little bit of what I kind of call body checking,which is,um,and this is prior to really working on it for myself,but The checking where she's thinner than I am,she's bigger than I am.Like that kind of checking for me.And I found that to not be helpful as far as like,when I was trying to notice like,okay,bodies are different and funny looking,but then I,I was playing this like comparison game.So what I did was I shifted it to faces.Fascinating how two eyes,one nose and one mouth can be in such a different shape on everyone.Like we all have eyes,I mean,typically right?The people that you see out and about,most of them have two eyes and two eyebrows,except for some people have like really big eyes and some are time.Like just noticing faces really helped me kind of get into a little bit healthier space about looking,observing the differences without having to assess the difference,like comparing it to my body,which just kind of helped me get into this work.

Jody: 47:31

I like that a lot because.It is challenging because physical appearance is the first thing we notice about someone,right?Like I think about walk,I do the same thing walking around Disneyland.I notice myself comparing,do I look thinner than that woman or bigger than that woman?Do I look like that?Do I look like that?Do I look better than that?I think I look like that,and that's okay.You know,like I do the same thing out of just my own insecurity.Yet to turn that off is hard because that is what we're doing.We're taking in everyone around us visually.And,um,granted there's noise,but I can't like hear every single person.So that's the one sense that the sense of sight is so powerful and immediate and,and usually the first thing that,like,how do you just turn that off?So I,I love that idea of like focus to some,an area where you're not so insecure,right?If you're not.Super insecure about your face.Doesn't mean you have to love your face,but if it's not as much of a trigger area for you,then focus on that thing visually,or sometimes I,I used to sell shoes at Nordstrom when women's shoes,so I started noticing everybody's shoes and I could do it without judgment.I just happened to know,I knew what brand that was.I know what style that is'cause I.I knew all the shoes,so like what can you redirect your mind to that's visual,that it isn't so loaded with judgment or shame for yourself.I think that's an awesome exercise.I'm gonna totally try that.

Lisa: 48:58

I also like your thought,which is I have a body.It's so neutral and it sounds like nothing,but we really can start with that.Like I have this body and I,like,one thought I often offer my clients is,how can I take exquisite care of my body today?And they're like,I've never even heard that word exquisite.I'm like,but imagine if you could take exquisite care of your body,what would you do?And so they,they actually really like it because they're like,they've never thought of caring for their body in that way,like so amazingly.

Jody: 49:39

such a great question.I love that.because it is,right?It's like if I,if I were to give you like the newest Tesla or whatever is like,I don't know,cars,but if I were to give you something that's like valuable and considered high end in the world.Then most of us would wanna take good care of it.And,and a body is actually more miraculous than any other invention of man.We take it for granted because everybody has one e e everybody we know that's alive right now.Right.But that doesn't make it any less valuable.And I,I love that.I love that word exquisite because it should be treated exquisitely.'cause it's that valuable.

Lisa: 50:23

Yeah.

Jody: 50:24

Yeah.

Lisa: 50:25

Okay.Anything else there?I mean,there's,so I,I made a list of thing topics I definitely wanted to cover.We pretty much hit them.Is there any other last words of wisdom you wanna leave with my listeners?I.

Jody: 50:39

I think my,my final thoughts would be that this work of.Mending your relationship with food and your body and yourself and changing your habits is no joke.It is like really amazing personal development work to be done.Um,I don't think that it's shallow work because of the deep personal development that's required if you do it the right way.The way I know that,Lisa,that you teach,that you work with your clients on,and it will not only help you achieve.Your health goals,it will impact other areas of your life in ways that you can't even imagine.And El Lisa and I were talking about before we started this recording here,you were saying how coaching has impacted so many areas of your life that you didn't even,we signed up because of one challenge you were going through in your life,but look at all of the ways it's impacted you.And I love the area of eating habits and health and weight loss,if that's your goal for that reason.So I would just strongly encourage anybody listening who's thought about like,well,I don't know if I can lose weight.Okay,what if you don't?I mean,you can,first of all,like I,I,I know that you can,but what if you don't?Would it be worth.Improving another area of your life maybe that you didn't even realize was gonna be impacted.Your confidence,your relationships,your money.Like you'll be shocked at the things that will come up as you do this kind of work.So I would just really challenge everyone who,you know,obviously they're not listening to this podcast,if they're not somewhat interested,probably in working on their health to,um,hop on a call with Lisa.Um,because I,I've.Lisa's been a coach for a long time.I know she's a brilliant,amazing coach.And,do yourself the favor of,of just seeing what's possible,see what's possible,and see how it might impact your life.Those would be my final thoughts.

Lisa: 52:38

Thank you.I,I also believe that this is such a good place to start,like.Your relationship with yourself and with food.It,it is so impactful in the rest of your life.So thank you so much.Uh,just really thanks for being here.It's been fun doing the podcast for a year and what a fun way to mark my year

Jody: 52:58

Congratulations on your one year,by the way.That's very exciting.Well done.

53:03

Okay,you guys,how awesome is a Jody?Right.We started chit chatting again right here about going to the Taylor swift concert for me for tomorrow.She already went in Seattle and I completely forgot to ask Jody to remind you where you can find her online.So I will just let you know that she has a fabulous membership coaching program called people.That's the one that I am in the doors to that are not always open,but she is doing a free coaching call coming up at the end of August.And.You'll find the link to that on her homepage of her website.It's called try out coaching.She also wrote a book called better than happy connecting with divinity through conscious thinking.So that is a great way to learn even more about her faith based teachings,especially.And then of course you can listen to her podcast also titled better than happy.And if you are wanting to get started on this work with me,the best way to do that this month is by snagging.One of those free food planning sessions there's just10available.So be sure to get scheduled today.Link of course,is in the show notes.Thanks again for listening today to the eat.Well think well live well podcast.