Is Food Your Comforter, Compensator, or Celebrator? [Ep. 124]

0:00 This is the eat. Well, think. Well podcast. I'm Lisa Saulsberry and this is episode 124. Is food, your comforter, compensator, or celebrator? Welcome to eat well. Well, the podcast for busy women who want to lose weight without constantly counting, tracking, or stressing over every bite. I'm Lisa Salsbury, a certified health weight loss and life coach, and most importantly, a recovered chronic dieter here. You'll learn to listen to your body and uncover the reasons you're reaching for food. When you're not truly hungry, freeing you to focus on a healthier, more fulfilling approach to eating.

0:41 Hello, everyone. Hope you've had a fabulous Thanksgiving. I made a pretty simple meal because there was just five of us, but it was still fun and good and delicious. But since we had a small group, I skipped. Some of the sides, like candy sweet potatoes, because let's be honest. That's just another dessert, not a side dish. I'd rather actually eat dessert and have roasted sweet potatoes another day. I like sweet potatoes, just not the candied ones on Thanksgiving. So that was an easy cut for me anyway. Onto December. And I was chatting with a future client the other day, she had scheduled a free consult session with me, and we were talking about why she overeats and.

1:22 Ultimately, she tracked it up to stress. Just kind of that umbrella word for all the bad emotions. And I think that's pretty true for a lot of us. We emotionally eat and we say I'm just so stressed or I had a bad day. But what I've noticed is there seems to be three distinct areas where we really use food for emotional eating. We use it to comfort ourselves. We use it to compensate for something. Or we use it to celebrate. And I want to talk about each one today and what to do about it and why it's important, not just to put an umbrella term of stress over these things over why we are overeating or emotional eating in some way.

2:08 So first let's talk about the underlying reason for why we eat for emotional reasons. We use food to make ourselves feel better. And the thing is You know, I've said this before food works. We have tons of evidence in our past that our brain sifts through and says, oh yes. When we were feeling bad and we ate some Oreos, we felt better. So let's offer up that idea again to sooth for this emotion. Food does work when we feel safe in our needs are being met. Like when we indulge in food that we consider comforting, our brain chemistry actually shifts. Eating those favorite foods.

2:49 Triggers the hypothalamus to release dopamine, which is a neuro-transmitter often associated with that feel good chemical, right? We, we think of dopamine as a feel-good. So dopamine acts as a messenger between neurons signaling that a reward is on its way. Hooray. It doesn't just make us feel good. It also impacts digestion, blood flow, memory, focus, mood, sleep, and even how we manage stress. Interestingly, simply thinking about feel-good foods can start this dopamine release, kicking off a cycle of craving and reward. Other hormones like serotonin and adrenaline often joined in the mix, working alongside dopamine to ease stress and boost.

3:37 Those soothing feelings. Animal studies suggest that this stress relieving effect might explain why we keep reaching for these foods when emotions run high. And honestly, again, just looking at our own past can demonstrate this. You have tons of evidence in the past of eating these foods and then feeling. Better. And I'm giving air quotes to better because sometimes we feel emotionally better. But when we look back, we ignore how our bodies were actually feeling in those moments of overeating. But all that. This is to say that food works to make us feel better in a very real neuro-transmitter sort of way.

4:17 Even the smell, the taste and the sight of certain foods can bring us right back to the cozy pleasant feelings of the past. But this often just encourages our brain to take that next step and eat it as well. The smell and the sight of the food is not going to be enough. Usually carbohydrates specifically increased brain levels of serotonin, which is why foods we often describe as comforting are high in carbohydrates. And often a carb fat combo. So we don't need to feel bad or broken in any way because food is comforting to us. But we want to start being aware of times we are using food strictly to feel better and not also for alleviating hunger.

5:01 It's not that we can never eat for enjoyment. That's not what I'm saying here. But if you're listening to this, you're likely somebody who wants to start curbing their emotional eating. You're probably aware that the emotional eating aspect of your total intake. Is, what's keeping you from losing weight because you're eating. When you aren't hungry. That's what's keeping you at your current weight or keeping you on a weight gain trend. So in order to reverse that trend and to get into a weight loss phase. We want to start looking at the times that we're eating when we aren't hungry. So what's the difference then between the three main reasons I mentioned that we do this emotional eating comforting compensating, or celebrating.

5:47 So first. Let's start with comfort. Eating for comfort is typically when you are feeling sad or lonely or in some sort of melancholy mood. We also need comfort when we are experiencing shame or guilt. You are missing your best friend who lives in another state and you're feeling lonely, or maybe just your college age, kids are gone. You're feeling sad because you said something unkind and you might even be feeling some guilt about that. You are embarrassed about an interaction that didn't go well. If you look over your last few weeks and notice these are your emotions. And you are using food to help you get over that, then you might be a comfort eater.

6:29 If you're angry, hurt, jealous, or resentful, we are using food to compensate. This is typically more for emotions where we feel wronged. Comfort eating says, I need this. And compensating says, I deserve this. When you have a particularly bad day at work, a boss or coworker yelled at you or disagreed with you publicly in a meeting you felt wronged or dismissed. Maybe you feel like no one appreciates the work you do in your home. And could anyone, besides you load their own breakfast dishes? Right. Perhaps you have some jealous feelings towards your sister, or you are just constantly annoyed at rude drivers.

7:12 These are the kinds of situations and feelings that lead to that compensation, eating these bad things happen, and I deserve to feel better. Lastly, we have celebrations. These are the times we eat when we are feeling joyful or a celebratory. This is like your son's soccer team won the game. So let's go out for ice cream. Those situations as well as holidays or parties are the few and far between though, when we're talking about celebratory eating, primarily when celebratory eating gets to be a problem. Is when we are celebrating things like finishing an email. Or getting through afternoon carpool. This can mimic the, I deserve this thought of compensating, but it's associated more with a happy emotion, like, yay.

7:59 We did this thing and now we deserve a treat. These are also the times when we zoom out and we realized that we are sort of treating ourselves like a dog for every good behavior. We give ourselves a little treat or snack. Those are the little celebratory eats I'm talking about. It's not really the big. Holidays and parties that tend to be emotional eats. It's the celebratory eating for this small things that we accomplished during the day. So now the question is where do you see yourself emotionally eating the most? Of these three categories. One way to figure this out is to consistently check in on your emotions. I've talked about this before you can set a timer on your phone or watch to go off every couple of hours.

8:44 At minimum of three times a day, up to six, and then you can just stop and identify what your emotional state is. And you'll probably want to also think like what it's been over the last couple of hours since you checked in. There is a study of non-depressed individuals and it cued them to touch into their emotions multiple times per day. The key takeaway from this was the more often you can ask yourself, what am I really feeling right now? And force yourself to not use broad labels or those simple valence terms like good or fine or bad. You need to use actual emotion, words, like anxious, curious, or delighted.

9:26 You can also have a mix of things. Like I feel bored, but also I'm a little bit in positive anticipation about what's going to happen tomorrow. We want to put more nuance and specificity on your emotions. The more, the better, this has clear positive outcomes for mental health, according to this study. So anywhere from three to six times a day, you just ask yourself, how do I feel right now? This will help you better understand those negative emotions, which sounds like it might be a bad thing to focus in. Right? But those negative emotions have information in them. This is one thing that's often lost in the broad Categorizations of I feel sad or I'm fine.

10:11 So the data from this study shows that the more nuance or the more emotional granularity, that's the actual term The more we can identify the specific emotion. That's the emotional granularity. The richer, our experience is of the positive aspects of life. And the more effectively we can now navigate. The negative aspects of life. So, not only is this a great way to start feeling your feelings better, but it can also be very informative as to why you might be reaching for extra food. If you write these emotions down and like a note app on your phone, something simple. Now you have some data, you have an emotional map of your week. Take a look at that and then notice, am I using food in these times?

10:55 And does it seem like I'm more of a comfort eater, a compensator or a celebrator? When we have this information, now we can decide how to best handle those emotions in different ways. If you're a comfort eater. Then you want to ask yourself in what other ways can I comfort myself? Do I enjoy reading by the fire or the Christmas tree lights. Do I like to light a candle and take a bath. Do I need to hear the voice of my friend and talk this out? What else is comforting to me. Do I need a hug? A lot of times food does not solve for what we actually need.

11:35 If we need connection, if we need. Alone time. Those kinds of things are not solved by food. If you're a compensator, then we want to explore how you feel. Things might be corrected. If you feel wronged, this can be a little trickier because often this means we might need to have some difficult conversations maybe with your boss or your spouse and say, Hey, this is how I'm feeling diminished in our relationship. I'm not a relationship coach per se, but I've definitely coached several clients on this because I can really get in the way of eliminating emotional eating. You might also need to work on skills like patience with other drivers. One antidote to getting upset with strangers is to get into curiosity.

12:18 I wonder why they are driving so fast. I wonder why she cut in line in front of me. I wonder what's going on in their life to create such bad behavior. Getting into curiosity can often help alleviate that anger. If you're a celebrator, we want to make sure that the celebrations are really worth it. This kind of points back to my episode on sneaky thoughts that get in the way of your weight loss and being a special occasion is one of those. Finishing a work task. Like emails can be the worst. Right? Emails are no fun. But may not exactly be so special that you deserve a donut. Right. How else can you celebrate yourself for accomplishing the mundane tasks in life?

13:00 Honestly, sometimes the best way is to actually just compliment yourself. You did a great job on that. Seriously. Nice work, yo. Celebrate yourself with lavish praise. You might also schedule in some downtime or me time after those times to just take an actual break. Often these celebratory eats are a way to just take a break from the work or the kids or your life, whatever is going on. You just need an actual break. Take a walk, go into another room and read, or do some online window shopping. Something that feels fun and easy, but also feels like a little bit of a treat to do with your time.

13:41 Lastly, I want to remind you. That getting adequate sleep is always going to help your emotional resilience. It's one of the main reasons why I'm always saying that sleeping well is such a key factor in weight loss because of our ability to make better choices. It's one of the reasons I partnered with cozy earth this month. Honestly, your home and your bed should be a refuge from all of the demands of the day. Cozy earth makes it easy to create a space of serenity and relaxation from their bedding to their lounge, where I am absolutely loving my bamboo sheet sat. They are so soft, but still have. Quite a bit of structure to them. Unlike some other bamboo sheets, I have tried in the past. Visit cozy earth.com and use my code WELLWITHLISA, a one word to get 40% off and give the gift of calm this holiday season.

14:29 Don't forget to mention you heard about them here. If you get that after purchase survey. Remember, if you are choosing a food that you consider a comfort food for dinner, for a meal, when you are hungry, that's great. Like if you love chicken noodle soup, or Mac and cheese, perfect. I'm not telling you not to eat those things. That's the right time to eat those foods that feel by comfort. Right. But the problem I'm highlighting in this episode comes when you are feeling sad or lonely. Or you wander into the kitchen or go to the drive-thru simply to soothe emotions. Let me know what you find out. After working on your emotional map this week. I'm so glad you tuned in today.

15:10 If today's insights resonated with you and you're ready to make lasting changes in your health journey. I'd love to help. Don't forget to grab that new freebie what to do when you overeat in the show notes, you can also book a free coaching session with me to dive into personalized strategies for sustainable weight loss and a balanced relationship with food. You can schedule it at the link again in the show notes. Remember, it's not just about the food. It's about empowering yourself with choices that truly serve you have a great week and as always, thanks for listening to the eat. Well think, well live well podcast.