Improve Your Body Image with Michael Ulloa [Ep. 106]

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This is the eiEat Well, Think Well, Live Wl podcast.

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I'm Lisa Saulsbury, and this is episode 106.

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Improve your body image with Michael you JOA.

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I have been following Michael on Instagram for quite some time now.

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And I think you'll love his down to earth attitude about fitness and health and bodies.

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Just as much as I do.

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We talked extensively about how to feel better in the body you have, and thoughts you might like to adopt as you inevitably check other people's bodies against your own.

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We also talk about how to get started or just move forward with your fitness and health goals, whether that includes body, weight change or not.

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I think you're going to really love this conversation.

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Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food.

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I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury.

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I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter.

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I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating.

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Welcome back to the eat well, think well, live well podcast.

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I'm delighted to have Michael Ujoa here.

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I've been following him on social media for quite some time.

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You've probably, if you follow me, you've seen his stuff.

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Cause I put, I share his stuff in my stories pretty frequently.

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I think he's just so straight on.

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So, so straight on.

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So, um, down to earth and I just really love what he is putting out in the world.

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So I asked him if he'd come share with that with us here on the podcast.

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So he said, yes, and just welcome.

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Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got into what you do?

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Thank you so much for having me, and uh, yeah, I always appreciate when people share my social media content, so once again, thank you for that as well.

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Also, slight disclaimer, I have a 15 month old child.

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If you hear a random crying at some point, my wife is with him, it is all okay, I'm not leaving him to do it all on his own.

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But yeah, thank you so much for having me.

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So I, my name is Michael Ujoa, as you said, I'm an online personal trainer and performance nutritionist.

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Uh, so I run an online personal training business.

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Uh, I've worked with people in, I think over 25 different countries now.

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Um, been doing this for around 10 years.

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Um, I work with everyone from kind of your everyday exerciser that just wants to improve their health and fitness all the way up to kind of higher performance athletes.

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Um, and yeah, half of my time is, Kind of doing that coaching clients.

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And then the other half of my time is creating social media videos, um, writing for fitness publications, speaking events.

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I have my own podcast as well.

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So yeah, kind of 50 percent of my time is coaching.

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The other half is social media and the other kind of weird stuff that, that, that brings along with it.

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And, um, yeah, my, my messaging or my, kind of my mission is to kind of break down the barriers around health and fitness and make the fitness industry more.

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welcoming and accepting space.

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Um, and yeah, I, I hope that I can kind of leave my stamp on it when I'm done.

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So that's, that's a very kind of quick snapshot of what I do.

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right.

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I, I know that in the past, this hasn't actually always been where.

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Where you have, I noticed you had a post about like, sorry to my 18 year old self, who, you know, basically thought differently.

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I feel like I need to put that same post up.

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I'm like, sorry to my 29 year old self who just thought that, you know, losing baby weight was more important than anything else.

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And.

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You know, the, the thing I, I feel like I'm sorry about for my past self is like thinking that, um, things like being pregnant was being fat, you know, and well, this is the last time I can be fat so I can eat whatever I want.

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Those kinds of thoughts.

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And I feel sometimes And I noticed that you kind of put that out there too.

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So how did you kind of take where you were and get to sort of like the healthy space that you are now?

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Yeah.

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been a really slow progression over time.

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Like I know A lot of the time the people that maybe work in the space that I occupy, I don't know whether you want to call that body neutrality or whatever it is, you know, a lot of the time people have like a moment or a thing that maybe made them switch and change their approach and I didn't really have that.

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Um, I've, as I said, I've been a personal trainer now for around 10 years.

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When I first started coaching, it was very much typical kind of Bro approach, always counting calories, never doing cardio.

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Cause I thought it would ruin my gains, you know, all the kind of stereotypical things that the fitness industry will tell us.

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And it's just been a real slow process of like really delving into the research around these topics.

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Um, following some great people on social media that maybe open my eyes up to how health and fitness can be.

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Um, and also working with some very honest clients as well, who kind of look at my content.

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Give me feedback on my content.

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Um, and I, I feel like now the approach I take to health and fitness, I'm truly making a difference where I don't really feel like I was doing that when I was taking that kind of mainstream approach to health and fitness, where it was all about getting lean, showing pictures of how lean I could get or how big I could get in terms of muscle growth.

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And, and, uh, I, yeah, I've kind of started to peel away from my social media of making it about me completely.

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You'll see that I don't share.

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pictures or videos of what I can do athletically.

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Like sometimes I will just because it's my day and I will, I will log it.

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But um, I don't make it about me.

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I don't share before and after photos of clients, that kind of thing.

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Like I, my messaging is all about kind of focusing on the behaviors and the habits that we change rather than making it all about aesthetics.

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Yeah, it's just been a real slow progression over, over 10 years and I say, I've just kind of refined my approach and because I've been a coach for so long now and worked with so many people, you start to kind of find your way with what really works and what doesn't, um, and yeah, it's, it's good.

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I'm happy with how I'm, I'm coaching people now, which is nice.

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I don't do before and after photos either.

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I find that I can't take a picture of the before and after because it often the changes happening in the mind.

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Yeah.

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The change is happening about the way they're thinking about their body.

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And so, yeah, their body shape may change, may get smaller.

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May, you know, I, I work with clients often that have, you know, sometimes 50, 75, a hundred pounds to lose.

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So sure.

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Their body's going to get smaller as they are able to move around easier because they're, you know, doing that, but.

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I have clients that say I'm getting emotionally stronger and that becomes more important and that is impossible to share a before and after photo of.

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Completely.

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I, I have clients who like to use before and after photos.

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I'm never going to tell a client that they're not allowed to use them because we all can monitor our progress or our journey in our own way.

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Um, I think that's really important to emphasize.

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However, I just, I think the issue with social media, especially as so much of it is physical and, and our, it just emphasizes the belief that all of our health progress comes from making our bodies smaller.

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Um, and I work with a lot of people who have been yo yo dieting or stuck in the dieting cycle for.

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years, sometimes decades.

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And the thing that I always like to emphasize is that if that is you and you are struggling with it, are you struggling with kind of air quotes there, um, you can improve your health and fitness without ever acknowledging your body weight.

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And I think that that's a really cool, powerful thing to tell people.

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That's not to say that losing weight won't improve health markers.

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It can.

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Um, but if you're someone who, um, has for so long been obsessed with weight loss, and that's what all of your behaviours and habits are tailored towards.

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Separate yourself from that for a little bit, just actually focus on the habits and behaviours that will improve your health, and that's when the magic happens.

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And that's what I want all of my messaging in terms of fitness to be about.

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completely non judgmental that anyone wants to have any aesthetic goals.

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I do, I lift weights to build muscle, that's an aesthetic goal, like, there's nothing wrong with that.

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But if you make your entire being, your entire fitness approach about that one thing, You're never going to be happy.

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Like, you're constantly going to be losing, losing that battle.

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So, yeah, it's um, it's, it's a bit of a shift and could be quite difficult to sell people on, but I truly feel like that should be where the emphasis is.

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Yeah, just somehow disentangling our body image from our scale weight.

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Yeah.

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Let's talk a little bit about body image and it's a little bit tricky for me.

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I was actually thinking about this ahead of time, like, Oh, maybe I should do a body image episode with a female because, you know, part of.

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Female's issue with their body image is, um, sort of conforming their body for the male gaze is kind of the term, you know, and so I want to be, like, careful of that, but also I think you're really good at it.

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So I want to not worry about, you know, that that you're a guy, because I think you can be really good at it and also be male.

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So let's talk a little bit about body image and how you help improve that for people and, um, how you can kind of disentangle that from sort of the activities that we're doing, because I find so often how you were saying, let's, let's focus on the behaviors and then that's where the magic happens.

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But underlying, I think it's really hard to be like, But if I do this, my body will change and then I'll feel better.

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Like, how do you actually improve that?

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How do you actually stop thinking that stuff and really focus on the behaviors?

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It's so difficult and there's going to be so many different reasons why people feel like that, so there's never going to be one answer here that, um, will kind of give everyone listening that kind of Like breakthrough moment, but I, I truly feel like if, if we can shift the focus, if you can shift the focus and individual to performance and focus on things that are not image based, I'm not going to say that you're never going to think about that.

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I do, you know, like I, I exist in a society that values thinness and in values the way that our bodies look, I work in a fitness industry that will constantly tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm not, you know, Getting really lean or showing the way that my body looks.

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So I just think we have to go into it completely with zero judgment.

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Um, and it's just a slow process over time of slowly, slowly shifting the focus.

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Um, don't beat yourself up because you can't completely shift away from it, but start trying to put some emphasis on something that isn't the way that your body looks.

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And then.

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I often find that, that the habits and behaviors start to snowball and slowly the shift starts to happen over time.

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Um, and I know that that's once again a really hard sell because people want a shiny 10 week program or a 12 week program that you can promise them but it's just not like that.

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I would say that I've been on this journey personally for like 5, 6 years and I'm still not fully there but I'm getting there, you know, like it's, everyone's journey is unique and um, And yeah, I think it's just a slow, a slow push away.

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I also don't want to completely ignore the fact, the thing that you said at the start there about me being a guy working in this space, because I think that is really, really, really important.

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Um, and I'm never going to be offended when someone brings that up, or I'm never going to get defensive.

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I.

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always am the first to acknowledge my privilege in this.

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I occupy a space within the fitness industry that kind of isn't for me.

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Like I am a white straight guy who works in the fitness industry who kind of looks how the fitness industry says we have to look in order to be fit and healthy.

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Um, even though I don't show that off, like I just do.

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Um, and I think that I just have to use my platform to amplify the voices of others, which I really try to do.

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Um, and I also.

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think that there's something powerful in the fact of me looking as I do saying, okay, fitness can look like this, but it absolutely does not have to.

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Um, unfortunately, a lot of the people championing this message, they're usually people in larger bodies and as soon as they post about this content online, they get met with so much hate.

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Um, my comment section is brutal, but it's nothing compared to what some of these other content creators.

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are receiving.

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So if I can use my platform to be a bit of an ally without making it all about me, I don't want to sound all kind of white knight about this, but I do think there's something powerful in kind of me gently stepping into the space and trying to help amplify this message, even if some people are just not going to receive it well because of, of who I am.

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And I'm fine with that.

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I've, I've accepted that a long time ago.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Um, I was told that recently they're like, well, you know, you, you have thin, thin privilege, like, because have been in the space where I've always wanted to or quote unquote thought I needed to lose that last like 15, 10, 15 pounds.

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Like I've always been in that yo yo space.

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And so, and, and I was really shocked when she said that, cause I'm like, no, I need to lose weight.

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Like I thought, you know, I was like, no, I really did need to.

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Um, but there, there is some privilege around that and just.

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Noting that, we're not in those larger bodies.

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I did notice that you posted something about someone who was actually pregnant and people were like, so awful in the comment section.

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And it's just crazy when you're like, what do you want?

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I know there's been some, advertisers that have used, folks in larger bodies to, promote their athletic wear.

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And people are like, go to the gym.

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And you're like, They are.

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What do you want?

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What do you, which is it?

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Like, are they supposed to just work out at home until they're like, I don't, it's so, so crazy.

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it's, people in larger bodies are just never going to win, but I think I've, I've discovered that personally as well in terms of trying to fight back against some of the trolls that I get, like, you're never going to be muscly enough, strong enough, lean enough, like, you're just never going to appease people.

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However, the friend of mine whose content that I shared the other day, her name is Beth.

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Her Instagram handle, I think, is sportybeth.

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CF, I think is her handle, um, she is an amazing athlete, um, she kind of advocates for people in larger bodies, uh, doing health and fitness, um, she pushes such a great message, she is also nine months pregnant, um, and some of the comments she receives are just insane, um, and she's Yeah, once again, that's, that's an example there of I, I try and push out the messages of these people that are creating amazing content but I, I take my hat off to anyone who can keep putting out content like that when they are receiving so much hate because it is, it is relentless and it can be really, really brutal.

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Yeah.

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So for those listeners and clients of ours who aren't on social media, as far as, um, they're not the ones putting their photos out there, maybe they're just consumers, but they're not in this space as far as being fitness.

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influencers, they're just regular for the regular people out there is what I'm trying to say.

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Not that we're not regular, but you know what I mean?

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Those mere mortals.

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yeah.

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Um, how can they improve their body image?

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And sort of help themselves detach from some of these messages that they're seeing online, or just their own messages in their head.

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Like, if I do these sit ups, maybe my stomach will look better.

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how can we shift that from, hey, what would be really cool is if I could do a pull up.

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Like that would just be a cool thing for me to do.

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This is a, a goal.

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I, I was mentioning to a client recently.

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I was like, what would just be cool?

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Like what accessory movements do you want to add on to the end of your workout?

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Because it would just be cool to do that.

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Like right now I'm working on a higher number of pushups because I'm like, I just think it's kind of cool to be able to drop down on the floor and do like.

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You know, for me right now, I'm working on 10 strict pushups, like really good, excellent form, just cause I think that would be cool to be able to do not because anyone in the gym is noticing me because.

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The gym I go to, I swear, people just keep their head down, no one looks at you, and it's like 90 percent male, which is kind of annoying.

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But, you know, I don't really care if there's anyone watching me do that.

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I just want to do it.

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And how can we help people get to that point and think performance goals are actually cool, and they have nothing to do, like, that goal will have nothing, my body will not look different.

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You know what?

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When I can do that.

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Once again, very difficult.

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It's funny you mention that about gyms because I think there's a conception, a misconception about gyms where people think they're these kind of really big, intimidating, scary places.

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However, like 99 percent of the people in gyms are so supportive of everyone else in there.

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And also the gyms that usually have kind of the biggest, most intimidating looking guys are usually the most welcoming and most friendly.

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However, that is a slight side point.

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Um, do you know

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a story

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Yeah, please do, go for it.

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So I go to get on the, um, the hack squat machine, which if you haven't tried that, it's basically like a squat machine, but on kind of like a 45 degree angle.

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Right.

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And the guy before me was too tall and it was left in a, in a position where I physically could not use the machine because I was too short and I'm like.

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What am I going to do?

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And I look around and everyone's just got their headphones in their head down.

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And I'm like, no one cares.

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Like literally no one is looking at me.

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No one is like, Oh, that girl's too short.

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Like, ha ha ha.

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No one.

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Finally, I caught the guy, the eye of a, of a guy that was taller than me.

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And I was like, Hey, could you, and he was like, Oh, no problem.

00:17:37.452 --> 00:17:40.103
Like it was so no big deal.

00:17:40.143 --> 00:17:43.173
But I thought at first, literally nobody is looking at me.

00:17:43.962 --> 00:17:46.073
Nobody's watching me struggle with this machine.

00:17:46.522 --> 00:17:55.472
and also these people who are in the gym a lot, uh, they, like, this is their life, like, these people live and breathe fitness, if someone comes up to them asking for help, You've made their day.

00:17:55.512 --> 00:17:57.653
Like, they'll be thinking about that for the rest of the day, so yeah.

00:17:57.923 --> 00:18:02.363
Pick the gnarliest, biggest dude and ask him for help, because he will, yeah, he'll be buzzing for it.

00:18:02.772 --> 00:18:09.992
Um, yeah, it's funny, it's a really tough thing in terms of shifting mindset around, um, like, internal dialogue is really important.

00:18:09.992 --> 00:18:14.462
I know that sometimes it can sound really cheesy, but the way that we talk to ourselves really matters.

00:18:14.722 --> 00:18:22.117
I mean, it's something that I bang on a lot about during my content on social media, because it's something, like, a really small shift can actually have a really big impact.

00:18:22.258 --> 00:18:23.097
big impact.

00:18:23.097 --> 00:18:27.518
Like if it's not something you would say to a friend of yours, why the F are you saying it to yourself?

00:18:27.897 --> 00:18:35.988
Um, and that can take a lot of time, especially when people can be quite negative and, um, quite used to criticizing themselves, but that is really important.

00:18:36.337 --> 00:18:40.458
And then I actually think you just need to start vetting where you get your information from.

00:18:40.897 --> 00:18:49.117
Um, simply because all of the messaging around health and fitness that you see, like if you just go onto Instagram, TikTok, type in hashtag fitness and you'll be fine.

00:18:49.298 --> 00:18:53.178
You're not seeing natural bodies, you're not seeing a Yeah, don't, don't do it, it's awful.

00:18:53.428 --> 00:18:59.087
You'll, you'll just see kind of a completely bizarre world that has nothing to do with health and fitness.

00:18:59.428 --> 00:19:01.137
Um, so people need

00:19:01.153 --> 00:19:02.353
Like true health.

00:19:02.603 --> 00:19:03.803
Yeah, exactly.

00:19:03.803 --> 00:19:18.252
It's just not like it is social media fitness and it's kind of lots of people with hardly any clothes on a lot of people clearly taking steroids, people who have very disordered relationships with exercise and food, simply because to look like that you kind of have to.

00:19:18.643 --> 00:19:21.982
Um, and I know that sounds like I'm making a sweeping statement, but it's true.

00:19:21.982 --> 00:19:29.613
Like if you delve into the eating disorder rates and the kind of poor body image rates around the fitness industry, it is.

00:19:29.938 --> 00:19:30.807
terrifying.

00:19:31.067 --> 00:19:32.518
It is absolutely terrifying.

00:19:32.867 --> 00:19:37.438
So I think you need to start curating where you are getting your information for any fitness and health.

00:19:37.438 --> 00:19:53.202
And I think if you're only following a certain type of influencer or following a certain type of professional, that's giving you advice and they always kind of look and present the same way, You're skewing what can be a really impactful way of changing your, your behaviours.

00:19:53.563 --> 00:19:55.843
Um, diversify your social media feed.

00:19:56.173 --> 00:20:00.903
Um, ironically coming from the, once again, white, straight dude who posts a lot of fitness content.

00:20:01.053 --> 00:20:09.272
But honestly, like, I, I did this around like two, three years ago and holy crap, my view of fitness has completely shifted without really doing anything.

00:20:10.097 --> 00:20:21.048
I now have people of all body sizes doing amazing things with fitness and that just fires me up compared to just following all the kind of usual fitness influences that you see.

00:20:21.307 --> 00:20:23.288
I don't find that motivating anymore.

00:20:23.637 --> 00:20:28.028
Like it just feels a little bit kind of, I don't know what the right word is.

00:20:28.028 --> 00:20:29.468
It just, it just doesn't feel natural.

00:20:29.468 --> 00:20:32.347
It doesn't feel as authentic as it should be.

00:20:32.708 --> 00:20:35.278
Whereas like human bodies are designed to look different.

00:20:35.613 --> 00:20:42.413
Like show that on your social media pages, because that's how you start getting kind of real inspiration in terms of changing your behaviors.

00:20:42.413 --> 00:20:53.002
And, um, honestly curate your social media feed, stop taking advice from doctors, trying to sell you books around certain bonkers diets, stop taking away health advice from these influencers that lost a lot of weight.

00:20:53.002 --> 00:21:01.173
And now they see themselves as a professional and it's, we just need to start being a bit more sensible about where we're getting our, our information from, and that one can be really powerful.

00:21:02.882 --> 00:21:12.605
I love that just thinking about when we see people in different types of bodies doing different things, it just leads to that thought, all bodies are different.

00:21:12.765 --> 00:21:16.204
And maybe my body could do something different too.

00:21:16.605 --> 00:21:32.404
And whether that's, the possibility of doing pushup or a certain weight in squats, or just the possibility that you could run for 10 minutes when you see different people of different abilities doing different things.

00:21:33.125 --> 00:21:39.255
It just opens up your mind when you're only seeing a certain type you're like, well, I'll never look like that.

00:21:39.255 --> 00:21:40.154
So why bother?

00:21:40.575 --> 00:21:40.924
Agreed.

00:21:41.045 --> 00:21:41.404
Yep.

00:21:41.755 --> 00:21:41.954
Yep.

00:21:41.964 --> 00:21:51.565
And our perception of what we have to look like in order to be healthy is, is all wrong for society, you know, like we're told in order to be healthy, you have to be lean and a big amount of muscle mass.

00:21:51.565 --> 00:21:54.954
And it's just not going to look like that for a large number of people.

00:21:55.275 --> 00:22:05.384
Um, so it, yeah, it, it slowly does start to shift your perception of what is actually truly healthy and what is kind of perceived as healthy from kind of societal standards.

00:22:05.384 --> 00:22:07.644
It's it's, um, yeah, it, it, it works.

00:22:07.644 --> 00:22:08.924
So I can't recommend it enough.

00:22:10.164 --> 00:22:19.734
I think too, What we perceive as lean and, and big muscle, like the, my first image is the fitness models, like on a stage, those bikini type models.

00:22:19.835 --> 00:22:30.180
And I, First of all, I'm too short, but second of all, I'm not, I'm not willing, I'm just not willing to ever do that.

00:22:30.190 --> 00:22:35.509
I'm not willing to be, and like you said, in the, in the disordered eating space to, to look like that.

00:22:36.039 --> 00:22:46.930
So when I, I recently had a DEXA scan, which, um, I talked about on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, I was shocked at how good my body composition was.

00:22:47.490 --> 00:22:49.380
For how it appears in the mirror.

00:22:49.490 --> 00:22:52.673
I was like, Oh, that's crazy.

00:22:53.002 --> 00:23:03.934
Like, I think you would be shocked at how very, very what you would consider normal looking, average looking bodies are actually plenty muscular.

00:23:04.005 --> 00:23:06.785
That, that, and that's, by the way, that's the biggest emphasis.

00:23:07.345 --> 00:23:11.805
I have plenty of muscle, and I was just shocked by that number.

00:23:11.865 --> 00:23:21.015
Like, I was like, oh, okay, well, I guess lifting for four or five years straight, like, I guess it does work, and it's okay.

00:23:21.015 --> 00:23:21.234
for having me.

00:23:21.674 --> 00:23:23.384
That I don't look like a fitness model.

00:23:23.394 --> 00:23:24.714
That was never the goal.

00:23:24.755 --> 00:23:28.454
And it just, it really helped me a lot.

00:23:29.210 --> 00:23:30.980
It's, it's really infuriating, isn't it?

00:23:31.009 --> 00:23:41.609
How kind of for decades now, I guess we've, we've slowly been influenced by these fitness models who are, who are put on this pedestal of like, this is what health and fitness looks like.

00:23:41.619 --> 00:23:45.180
And if you strive to look like this too, then you will be healthy.

00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:51.990
Um, and, and once again, like the steroid use rates around fitness models.

00:23:52.589 --> 00:23:53.259
a huge.

00:23:53.549 --> 00:23:54.440
Um, I think,

00:23:54.765 --> 00:23:55.144
too?

00:23:55.569 --> 00:23:56.519
yeah, absolutely.

00:23:56.670 --> 00:23:57.289
Absolutely.

00:23:57.369 --> 00:23:57.829
Yeah.

00:23:57.859 --> 00:24:05.539
And, and just kind of like general like surgery enhancements, things like that, all the tips and tricks that are used in terms of photography and Photoshop and stuff.

00:24:05.539 --> 00:24:12.309
I, I think if we were really to pull back the curtain on what goes on within the fitness space, I think a lot of people would be terrified.

00:24:12.539 --> 00:24:15.180
I think it's very rare now that you probably go into any gym across.

00:24:15.714 --> 00:24:20.795
the UK, US, Australia, whatever, where there isn't someone taking steroids, like, it is rife.

00:24:21.174 --> 00:24:25.204
Um, so we're constantly looking at others, because we do it, we're human, right?

00:24:25.204 --> 00:24:42.900
We'll look at others in the weights room, we'll be like, oh, they're a bit bigger than I am, or they're a bit leaner than I am, or whatever, and it's, we're constantly comparing our bodies to others, when actually we We don't know what that person is up to in order to look like that, especially when they're the kind of 1 percent that make it onto the front of magazine covers, right?

00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:46.509
I actually, I used to train with, uh, an old friend of mine.

00:24:46.509 --> 00:24:47.589
I haven't seen him for a long time.

00:24:47.589 --> 00:24:48.740
I feel like I can say this story.

00:24:49.069 --> 00:24:53.269
we were doing a training course together at the same time and we would work out together in the morning.

00:24:53.434 --> 00:24:55.355
For like, an hour and a half, for like, months.

00:24:55.394 --> 00:24:56.734
Like, we did this training course together.

00:24:57.125 --> 00:24:59.105
And he was always just like, a little bit stronger.

00:24:59.125 --> 00:25:00.615
Like, his recovery was a little bit faster.

00:25:00.615 --> 00:25:02.075
And it used to annoy the hell out of me.

00:25:02.075 --> 00:25:03.384
For months, it used to wind me up.

00:25:03.865 --> 00:25:07.265
And a few years later, he was like, Oh yeah, I was taking steroids back then.

00:25:07.795 --> 00:25:09.694
Just like, never told me at the time.

00:25:10.065 --> 00:25:11.154
Yeah, just offhand comment.

00:25:11.154 --> 00:25:13.585
And I was like, oh, just Just makes sense.

00:25:13.595 --> 00:25:21.924
Like, I just, I was really frustrated criticizing my own body and my own efforts because I was comparing myself to someone and I had no idea he was, he was taking steroids.

00:25:21.924 --> 00:25:23.944
I was just never going to be able to compete with that.

00:25:24.345 --> 00:25:35.724
And it was just like a nice little, oh yeah, like, take note of this and, and remember it for when you start doing that with other people that you see on social media because it's It's just, it's all smoke and mirrors.

00:25:35.724 --> 00:25:38.025
The fitness industry, 99 percent of it is smoke and mirrors.

00:25:38.265 --> 00:25:53.305
It's funny because I work within it but I actually hate the industry as a whole because I think it's, it caters towards those that are already fit and healthy that look a certain way and actually those that really need us and really need to support the fitness industry are completely left to the side and made to feel like they're not part of it.

00:25:53.525 --> 00:25:59.559
Like you mentioned at the start when you see Someone in a larger body on social media will be like, get to the gym, start working out.

00:25:59.569 --> 00:26:03.630
And then you see a larger person in the gym working out and it's like, Oh, well not there.

00:26:03.630 --> 00:26:07.259
I can see you, you know, like it's just people, people just can't win.

00:26:07.529 --> 00:26:07.829
Yeah.

00:26:07.829 --> 00:26:08.420
Not in public.

00:26:08.460 --> 00:26:10.450
It's, it's so frustrating.

00:26:10.450 --> 00:26:23.240
So it's, um, yeah, that's why if we kind of constantly expose what the industry is actually showing people, hopefully people will start to, to kind of latch onto it and, um, and start to realize that there is a different way that you can approach health and fitness that is truly healthy.

00:26:23.630 --> 00:26:24.130
Um, yeah.

00:26:24.505 --> 00:26:26.805
And yeah, that's, that's the work I'm trying to do.

00:26:26.855 --> 00:26:27.944
Well, we're, we're working hard.

00:26:28.095 --> 00:26:30.244
It feels like we're fighting a losing battle, but we're working hard.

00:26:30.914 --> 00:26:36.355
Well, and I mean, comparison's always going to be a losing game, but I think we have to give ourselves some grace.

00:26:36.404 --> 00:26:39.565
This is how we, survived in hunter gatherer tribes.

00:26:40.275 --> 00:26:41.404
evolutionarily?

00:26:41.555 --> 00:26:42.464
This is normal.

00:26:42.825 --> 00:26:47.015
It is normal to look and compare and ask, do I fit in?

00:26:47.545 --> 00:26:50.515
That is absolutely how our brains were designed.

00:26:50.535 --> 00:26:54.325
Because if you didn't fit in, you were like left for dead in the.

00:26:55.384 --> 00:26:55.724
Right?

00:26:55.724 --> 00:26:57.275
Like you were kicked out of the tribe.

00:26:57.285 --> 00:27:02.295
Being kicked out of the tribe is very, very dangerous to our brain.

00:27:02.634 --> 00:27:02.974
Right?

00:27:03.005 --> 00:27:11.744
And so when we play that compare game and do I fit in game, you just have to remember, okay, no, that's, that's my lower brain.

00:27:12.355 --> 00:27:14.049
That's my kind of, you know, brain.

00:27:14.859 --> 00:27:16.900
Uh, primitive brain talking there.

00:27:16.920 --> 00:27:21.980
And I know I can bring it up to my human brain, my prefrontal cortex, that human part that's developed.

00:27:21.980 --> 00:27:23.946
It says I'm going to be okay.

00:27:24.656 --> 00:27:28.277
It's totally fine for me to look different, act different, be different.

00:27:28.317 --> 00:27:37.287
I can be me and it's safe because it feels very, very unsafe, especially to your lower brain to not fit in.

00:27:37.686 --> 00:27:42.836
And so I always just say don't get super mad that you're comparing Of course you are.

00:27:43.426 --> 00:27:44.186
Of course you are.

00:27:44.487 --> 00:27:44.846
Yeah.

00:27:44.856 --> 00:27:49.217
There's it's, it's usually the issue that I have with a lot of sections of the fitness industry.

00:27:49.217 --> 00:27:59.696
There's like, especially within the kind of maybe like anti diet crowd or whatever, once again, you kind of want to bracket certain groups where it can be quite anti weight loss and quite critical of anyone who wants to lose weight.

00:27:59.727 --> 00:28:01.416
And I don't think that's helpful at all.

00:28:01.727 --> 00:28:08.561
Um, I work with a lot of people that have weight loss as a goal simply That's what most people reach out for personal trainers for right.

00:28:08.561 --> 00:28:35.422
It's just the nature of the work And um, I know there's a lot of coaches I know that would refuse to work with someone who has weight loss as a goal and I actually don't Think that that is the right approach I will happily work with and do happily work with people that have weight loss as a goal but we just don't make it the emphasis and it comes with zero judgment because once again like Society, it's easier to exist in a society when you're looking in a way that society, uh, deems is kind of more desirable, you know?

00:28:35.882 --> 00:28:41.231
So, I will happily work with these people, however, I try and shift the emphasis once again.

00:28:41.321 --> 00:28:58.201
Like, we start saying, right, that's cool, that can be a goal, but it's gonna be kind of like a It's going to maybe happen as a result of all these healthy habits and all these healthy changes that we're going to start making Um, and it's once again a really really hard sell for people Um, especially when you first start off personal training, right?

00:28:59.277 --> 00:29:07.701
the other thing about weight loss being a goal is it can One of the ways that it can be really valid is the improvement in performance.

00:29:07.721 --> 00:29:17.231
And what I mean is I can't remember the statistic, but I think for like every pound that you lose, it's like 10 pounds of pressure on your knees or four pounds is 10 pounds.

00:29:17.662 --> 00:29:18.432
It's a lot.

00:29:18.791 --> 00:29:21.622
And I have clients that are like, my knees are hurting.

00:29:21.652 --> 00:29:23.428
I have going up the stairs.

00:29:23.458 --> 00:29:24.728
I want to do this hike.

00:29:24.738 --> 00:29:26.278
I want to do this activity.

00:29:26.278 --> 00:29:27.657
I want to be able to play pickleball.

00:29:28.188 --> 00:29:37.303
And Taking some pressure off their knees in the form of losing body fat is actually very helpful for those functional things.

00:29:37.613 --> 00:29:44.192
So that's really where I like to focus when weight loss is a goal, is like, what will that help you do?

00:29:44.722 --> 00:29:48.303
How will your life be better in the form of function?

00:29:48.692 --> 00:29:51.103
How will you function better if that happens?

00:29:51.897 --> 00:29:53.948
Yeah, it's all, it's all a trade off, right?

00:29:53.948 --> 00:30:00.617
I think we all, we all have to kind of analyze what is important to us and what is the best way to approach our health.

00:30:00.938 --> 00:30:08.188
I'm trying to think of the best way to explain this because it's, so I've, I've worked with a lot of people who've had previous eating disorders.

00:30:08.198 --> 00:30:11.127
It just kind of is the nature of kind of the content and the people that I attract.

00:30:11.442 --> 00:30:15.893
Um, especially people who have had a lot of disordered eating, at least, even if not diagnosed eating disorders.

00:30:16.282 --> 00:30:20.903
Um, and there's a certain approach that you have to take with different groups, different demographics.

00:30:21.242 --> 00:30:25.583
Um, and I think that we all as a whole just need to analyze like, right, what is best for me?

00:30:25.603 --> 00:30:31.292
If you come from a background of really disordered eating, uh, already disordered relationship with exercise.

00:30:31.732 --> 00:30:35.992
I think it's important to kind of shift the focus completely away from the aesthetic.

00:30:36.032 --> 00:30:49.272
And we start focusing on things that are not that, um, whereas you might have someone who's come to me with kind of a quite healthy relationship with food and exercise and therefore body composition goals kind of feel a bit more straightforward and a bit less intrusive.

00:30:49.633 --> 00:30:57.313
Um, so I think we all just need to be, why kind of like self evaluating when it comes to like, how do I want to improve my health?

00:30:57.563 --> 00:30:59.742
What is the best way for me to approach this?

00:31:00.303 --> 00:31:01.512
And then start there.

00:31:01.762 --> 00:31:04.833
And um, I know that's, that's usually easier said than done.

00:31:04.932 --> 00:31:11.303
but it's why I, I really think it's important for us to keep championing the message of there is no one best diet to follow.

00:31:11.303 --> 00:31:13.192
There is no one best way to work out.

00:31:13.192 --> 00:31:18.623
Like the way that you approach exercise, the way you approach nutrition has to be completely unique to you.

00:31:19.032 --> 00:31:24.843
Um, and that is the beauty of it, but also the most frustrating thing about health and fitness.

00:31:24.873 --> 00:31:34.073
Um, especially when we've kind of got these Big accounts with huge followings telling you you must go down this route or you must take this diet or this exercise approach and it's just, it's just not true.

00:31:34.462 --> 00:31:44.232
And so, yeah, there has to be like an element of, um, as I said, self evaluation of what you think is right, but for certain demographics, it can, it can be quite straightforward for others.

00:31:44.593 --> 00:31:46.682
It could be a really bad path to go down.

00:31:46.742 --> 00:31:47.432
So, um.

00:31:47.772 --> 00:31:53.873
Yeah, it's, it's one of those where if you, if you have someone in the fitness space that you trust, you can kind of have these conversations with, like reach out to them.

00:31:53.903 --> 00:31:59.063
I love chatting to people about this, so feel free to reach out to me, but it's, it can be quite difficult to navigate.

00:31:59.593 --> 00:31:59.923
Yeah.

00:32:00.397 --> 00:32:00.758
okay.

00:32:00.798 --> 00:32:06.667
I noticed recently you had a post that says basically stop focusing on stuff that doesn't matter.

00:32:07.337 --> 00:32:16.367
And I think we've kind of talked about kind of a lot about stuff that doesn't matter, but if we're not focusing on that, where would you say to focus on?

00:32:16.627 --> 00:32:23.478
If you're first getting started in sort of a, um, an exercise or health related journey.

00:32:24.288 --> 00:32:27.728
So there's always like an optimal way to do things, right?

00:32:27.728 --> 00:32:35.917
Like I could meet someone and write them the most perfect exercise program, but if I put in exercises, you don't like a form of working out that you don't enjoy, like it's not going to work.

00:32:36.288 --> 00:32:42.647
So we almost have to like take the optimal and think, right, how can I incorporate that into the way that I like to move?

00:32:42.928 --> 00:32:48.448
Um, however, the most important thing is doing something that you really enjoy in terms of exercise.

00:32:48.778 --> 00:32:49.188
Yes.

00:32:49.188 --> 00:32:56.732
If you can do some form of strength training, you really enjoy, Please start with that because the benefits of strength training are huge, like absolutely huge.

00:32:57.083 --> 00:33:08.492
However, I always think getting yourself moving and doing exercise that you enjoy, even if it's like you don't enjoy it, but you hate it less than all the other forms of exercise that you've tried in the past, right?

00:33:08.643 --> 00:33:16.962
If there's just like a little window of like, okay, this feels all right, or this feels a bit more bearable, start there and then just let the habits form and creep in.

00:33:17.623 --> 00:33:27.732
In terms of nutrition, which I actually think is the more difficult part to navigate, is um, when people go to improve their, their nutrition, their first thought is like, right, what am I going to cut out from my diet?

00:33:27.752 --> 00:33:28.942
What am I going to take away?

00:33:29.613 --> 00:33:36.282
And automatically it just becomes this really like negative, horrible experience because we're taking away something that we really enjoy to eat.

00:33:36.853 --> 00:33:43.627
So the best way that I always like to approach nutrition is, Keep a food diary, or some way to track your food in that you feel comfortable with.

00:33:43.637 --> 00:33:49.008
So, some people like to use apps to track note section on your phone, old school pen and paper.

00:33:49.258 --> 00:33:58.998
If you can just take stock of what your diet looks like, and highlight, like, one or two areas that you think, right, I can improve it there, of things that you can add into your diet to improve it.

00:33:59.617 --> 00:34:00.827
That's where you start off.

00:34:01.198 --> 00:34:05.678
Um, and a lot of the time when you do that, we call it, call it the ad don't restrict approach.

00:34:05.708 --> 00:34:14.518
As soon as you start taking that approach to nutrition, it just becomes this kind of really positive, um, exciting experience rather than negative and restriction.

00:34:14.938 --> 00:34:18.728
Um, and then once again, the habits start to snowball, it might be.

00:34:19.713 --> 00:34:21.003
That your protein intake is lacking.

00:34:21.003 --> 00:34:22.552
So, right, let's increase protein intake.

00:34:22.583 --> 00:34:24.382
And then naturally you feel a bit more full.

00:34:24.382 --> 00:34:29.753
You start eating fewer kind of processed foods because you're feeling more satisfied and your sweet tooth has dropped.

00:34:29.753 --> 00:34:34.552
So like all these little habits, when you make them positive, it really can start something great.

00:34:34.563 --> 00:34:38.382
So that's kind of where I would start if I'm giving a generic sweeping statement.

00:34:39.023 --> 00:34:40.233
Well, well said.

00:34:40.253 --> 00:34:43.289
I think it's right in line with what I would actually say as well.

00:34:43.309 --> 00:34:45.128
So, So, of course I love it.

00:34:45.193 --> 00:34:46.873
Ah, we're not going to have an argument.

00:34:46.884 --> 00:34:47.373
Rubbish.

00:34:47.418 --> 00:34:48.048
Darn it.

00:34:49.324 --> 00:34:49.643
right.

00:34:49.664 --> 00:34:53.373
Well, why don't, thank you so much again for your time and wisdom here.

00:34:53.373 --> 00:34:58.014
Why don't you tell people where you are online and if you have any offers you want to talk about.

00:34:58.563 --> 00:35:01.934
if you want to find me, all my social media handles are the same.

00:35:02.284 --> 00:35:05.094
Maybe look to the show notes of how to spell my name because it's a bit of a bizarre one.

00:35:05.393 --> 00:35:09.474
Uh, so it's Michael Lijewa Petey, uh, and that is mostly on Instagram.

00:35:09.943 --> 00:35:11.284
I kind of dabble in TikTok.

00:35:11.603 --> 00:35:14.523
I'm on threads a little bit as well, but it's kind of mostly through Instagram.

00:35:15.043 --> 00:35:19.313
Um, I do have like a fitness subscription group, which is called Get Fit with Michael, and that's just at getfitwithmichael.

00:35:20.103 --> 00:35:20.393
com.

00:35:21.083 --> 00:35:26.193
But other than that, like if you have any questions or just want to chat about this stuff, I am a massive research nerd.

00:35:26.193 --> 00:35:28.463
I love going into the intricacies of nutrition.

00:35:28.693 --> 00:35:33.853
Even though the demographics I tend to work with, I don't tend to delve too much into the intricacies of nutrition.

00:35:33.853 --> 00:35:36.934
However, if you have any questions or anything, I'm, I welcome it.

00:35:36.994 --> 00:35:38.344
I love chatting about this stuff.

00:35:38.344 --> 00:35:39.034
So thanks.

00:35:39.094 --> 00:35:39.684
Thanks for having me on.

00:35:40.168 --> 00:35:40.509
All right.

00:35:40.509 --> 00:35:40.889
Perfect.

00:35:40.889 --> 00:35:41.748
Thanks so much, Michael.

00:35:42.688 --> 00:35:47.487
I hope you enjoyed this conversation with Michael, as much as I did, if it has helped you in any way.

00:35:47.818 --> 00:35:57.237
Could you just do Michael and I a favor and share this episode with someone you can either just send it to a friend or even better take a screenshot, post it to your stories and tag Michael and I.

00:35:57.382 --> 00:35:58.373
We would love that.

00:35:58.623 --> 00:36:12.663
And as always, if you're looking for that extra bit of personalized help with your body image, fitness goals or weight loss, be sure to schedule your free coaching call with me and see how much you can benefit from a coach link for that is in the show notes.

00:36:12.842 --> 00:36:15.483
Have a great week and as always, thanks for listening to the eat.

00:36:15.483 --> 00:36:15.963
Well think.

00:36:15.963 --> 00:36:17.583
Well live well podcast.