How to Love Yourself and Still Want to Lose Weight [Ep. 116]

0:00 This is the eat well. Think wild live while podcast. I'm Lisa Salisbury. And this is episode 116. How to love yourself and still want to lose weight. Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food. I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter. I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating Welcome back to the eat. Well, Well LivWell podcast where we explore how to nourish our bodies and our minds.

0:42 One bite, one thought at a time, right? If you're new around here. Welcome in. I hope you find exactly the help you're looking for. And if you've been around for a while, then you're probably someone who has told me this podcast is like an extra coaching session each week. That helps you stay on track. I do love to hear from you. So be sure to join the conversation over on Instagram. And there's a new feature in Spotify. If you're listening there where you can leave a comment directly on the episode, which is super fun. Okay. Today's episode is something I know so many of you can relate to. We're diving into this idea. Can you love your body as it is right now? And still want to lose weight. I know it sounds a little confusing, right?

1:22 You hear a lot these days about how we should accept and love ourselves exactly. As we are. And I am a big fan of self love. Don't get me wrong. But what happens when you genuinely want to lose weight? When you want to make changes, does that mean you're betraying your body or somehow not loving yourself enough? Let me tell you, you absolutely can love yourself and still desire change. In fact making changes can be a form of self-love. So today we're going to talk about how to reconcile these two ideas. Self-acceptance. And the desire for weight loss so that you can move forward with confidence and peace.

2:07 Let's start by talking about what self-love really is. We've heard the phrases, right? You should just love yourself as you are. And while that's a beautiful sentiment. It's easy to misunderstand. Self-love doesn't mean you never want to improve or that you're complacent. It doesn't mean that if you loved yourself more, you wouldn't care about losing weight. Loving yourself means that you take care of yourself in the best way. You know how, because you deserve to feel good. It means you see yourself as worthy exactly. As you are right now in this very moment. And at the same time.

2:48 You can also acknowledge that there are areas you want to change or improve for your health, or just because, you know, it's what your body needs and deserves. Here's, what's important to remember. Wanting to change doesn't mean you don't love yourself. Think about other areas of your life. You love your kids. Right. But that doesn't mean you don't teach them and guide them. You love your home, but you still clean it. Paint it and maybe even renovate it. Love and change can absolutely co-exist. Okay. So now that we've redefined what self-love means. Let's talk about what happens when you have a goal like weight loss.

3:30 I often hear from women who feel a bit stuck in this. They think if I were truly grateful for my body, I shouldn't want to lose weight. I should just accept it. But here's the thing, weight loss, when approached in a healthy way. Can be an act of care. It's about doing what's best for your body so that you can feel better, move easier, have more energy, whatever your personal reasons are. It's about taking exquisite care of the body you are in. It's so important to recognize that wanting to lose weight, doesn't have to come from a place of shame or punishment.

4:10 It doesn't have to be driven by hate. For your current body. In fact, I would argue that the most sustainable weight loss comes when it isn't about shame. When it's coming from a place of wanting to feel better physically. Be healthier. And show your body the love it deserves by nourishing it properly, moving it and taking care of it. We often think that if we hate our bodies enough, then we will change this. Isn't really a conscious thought. But we just keep on telling ourselves we should change and be different somehow thinner, fitter, prettier, then we'd be better.

4:51 This does not work. Again, for those in the back. This never works. You cannot hate yourself. Healthy. You may be able to hate yourself into an eating disorder. You may be able to hate yourself into a super restrictive diet for a while. But this is not what you want. What you want is to love yourself. And to be healthy mentally. And physically. I want you to think about the reasons you want to lose weight. Really ask yourself, why do I want to make this change? If your reason is because you think losing weight will make you worthy. Or because you feel like you're not good enough as you are. That's where the disconnect lies.

5:33 Weight loss doesn't make you worthy. You are already infinitely 100% worthy and no amount of change in your body shape will change that. If you think weight loss will make you happy again, there's a disconnect here. You're thinking when I reach my goal weight, I will be happy when I stop eating sugar. I will finally feel good about myself. When I exercise and have more defined muscles, I will be confident. These thoughts end up leading to more self-loathing and criticism. When we don't execute perfectly. But if your reason for losing weight is more along the lines of knowing your body would feel better.

6:13 If it was carrying less weight because maybe your joint sweat A-class maybe you'd have more energy for your kids. Or for that hiking trip you've been dreaming of. Then that's a goal you can work toward with love and respect for yourself. Not as a punishment. So dig deep on your reasons for wanting to lose weight. And go beyond that typical answer. Now let's talk about some practical ways you can balance self-love and the desire to lose weight. I want to give you three strategies that will help you move forward from a place of care and compassion. Number one. Shift your mindset around weight loss. Instead of thinking weight loss is something you have to do because you don't like your body.

6:58 Think of it as something you get to do. Because you love your body. You get to fuel your body with foods that nourish you. You get to move your body in ways that feel good. You get to feel energized and strong. Every choice you make is an act of love toward yourself. What do you love about the way you eat when you are in a weight loss phase? Think about past diets. You may have tried. Think about how your physical body feels when you are increasing your vegetables and protein. Intake and decreasing your added sugars as those are the things that most diets really have in common. What if you really focused on how great your body feels?

7:40 When the fuel is really top-notch you might also think of movement as something you get to do for your body. You get to take a walk or do a hot yoga class or lift weights because your body is capable of doing those things. Not because you're punishing it for its shape or size. Number two. Focus on non-scale victories. Okay. That scene is cheesy. I know, I know. But it's actually a great mind shift. There's just no getting around cheesy sayings in my world, in my life coaching world. Okay. So sometimes I use them. We often tie our sense of success to a number on the scale.

8:21 Of course we do, because it's easy to step on the scale and see it. But that can be really Disheartening because the scale doesn't always move as fast as we'd like, and certainly doesn't move in a linear fashion. But what if you shifted your focus to other things as well? You can still weigh yourself. I'm not saying To not ever weigh yourself, but let's also have some non-scale victories and or goals. Maybe you notice you're sleeping better. Your digestion might improve. You have more energy or your clothes fit differently. Maybe you're feeling more fit. You can lift more, walk, farther, swim, more yards in the same amount of time. You notice you're craving water instead of soda, or that you're easily able to say no, thank you to sugary foods, because you're aware of how that's going to make your body feel.

9:10 These non-scale victories are just as important as the number. If not more so. Because there are signs that you're treating your body well. This is an area I'd love to hear more about from you. What's the most amazing thing that's happened to you apart from weight loss. I think one of my favorite comments I got from a client in this area was that she said I'm becoming an emotionally stronger person, which makes me happier than being a thinner person. I had another client ages ago, who said they felt more relaxed as well as more confident. And these emotional changes are also non-scale victories. As you learn to prioritize your body's needs and realize you don't need to use food to manage your emotions.

9:54 You'll get stronger emotionally outside of the kitchen as well. Number three. Be kind to yourself along the way. As I said a minute ago with the weight-loss journey is rarely linear. There are going to be bumps in the road and you might not see progress every week, but that doesn't mean you aren't making progress. Be gentle with yourself on the hard days. Don't let one bad meal or one tough week spiral into self criticism. It's okay to stumble it. Doesn't erase all the work you've done. What matters is that you get back up and keep showing up for yourself. There's actually no such thing as the wagon, by the way.

10:34 You know, the sane, I fell off the wagon. You're the driver. So if you stopped driving the wagon stops, it waits for you to dust yourself off and just keep on driving down the road. You think if you fall off the wagon that it zooms on ahead without you, and you have to run even harder to catch up, restrict more, exercise, harder, be more critical of yourself. But when you remember that you are the driver. Then, you know, it just waits for you to be ready again. I hope that's on your very next bite, but be kind if it's not. Just remember that when you overeat or stop exercising or in some way you don't treat your body with exquisite care, your body is already suffering.

11:15 Don't punch yourself in the face and add the emotional injury on top. Your body feels bad enough without you handing down the criticism. On top of it. Okay. Let's recap. You can love your body exactly as it is. And still want to lose weight. That's my most important takeaway here. It's all about the why behind the goal. Are you trying to change because you think you need to, in order to be worthy or happy. Or are you changing because you love yourself enough to take exquisite care of your body. Make your choices out of love and your journey will feel so much different. And when you stumble, as we all do.

11:56 Remember to show yourself the same kindness and care that you'd show to a friend or family member. This is about progress, not perfection. I hope today's episode has given you a new perspective on self-love. And weight loss. You can want more for your body while appreciating it exactly as it is. And the best part is when you approach it with love. You'll find the journey feels so much lighter. Thank you so much for joining me today. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear about it. You can connect with me on Instagram or leave a rating and review on apple podcasts or a rating and a comment on Spotify. Take care of yourselves inside and out. And thanks for listening to the eat well.

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