Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.009
This is the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast.
00:00:02.069 --> 00:00:03.180
I'm Lisa Saulsbury.
00:00:03.180 --> 00:00:09.900
And this is episode 69 healthy meal blueprint with ADHD specialist and coach Gaia broda.
00:00:10.769 --> 00:00:19.230
I'm so glad you tuned into this episode, because even if you don't have ADHD, the healthy meal blueprint that Gaia shares today is helpful.
00:00:19.559 --> 00:00:20.910
Honestly, for anyone.
00:00:21.179 --> 00:00:25.079
I think we all suffer with a little bit of attention problems these days.
00:00:25.079 --> 00:00:28.769
I mean, who hasn't started scrolling and looked up an hour later.
00:00:29.309 --> 00:00:32.250
Most of us could help ourselves out by simplifying things.
00:00:32.250 --> 00:00:34.920
And that's exactly what Gaia is here to help us with today.
00:00:35.219 --> 00:00:38.579
She focuses on and coaches, folks with ADHD.
00:00:38.579 --> 00:00:48.122
So her tools work especially well for that population, but I don't know a single neuro-typical brain that wouldn't also benefit from some simplification.
00:00:48.843 --> 00:00:58.063
Also before we get into this episode, I want to let you know, I am extending my get unstuck sessions availability through the end of this calendar year.
00:00:58.093 --> 00:01:04.602
I know originally I said it was just for six weeks, but they've been so fun and I've enjoyed getting to know a lot of my listeners.
00:01:04.632 --> 00:01:12.763
So I just want to make sure you're ready to hit 2020 for running link to get your session scheduled is in the show notes.
00:01:12.763 --> 00:01:17.082
Of course, I've had a few people come just to discuss how to make it through the holidays.
00:01:17.082 --> 00:01:19.212
And that has been super helpful for them.
00:01:19.242 --> 00:01:19.692
I know.
00:01:19.692 --> 00:01:21.043
So I can't wait to talk to you.
00:01:21.072 --> 00:01:21.433
You too.
00:01:25.225 --> 00:01:32.126
Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food.
00:01:32.756 --> 00:01:34.316
I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury.
00:01:34.706 --> 00:01:40.365
I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter.
00:01:40.975 --> 00:01:46.915
I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating.
00:01:49.037 --> 00:01:52.968
I am so pleased to have Gaia Broda here with me today on the podcast.
00:01:52.968 --> 00:02:05.563
She is going to be talking to us, all things a D H D, such a popular and timely, really just a pertinent topic to our world and to just a lot of things that are going on for us right now.
00:02:05.563 --> 00:02:12.133
So we're going to really be diving into how A D H D impacts our ability to make food.
00:02:12.163 --> 00:02:15.312
Choices that are good, whether you have it or not.
00:02:15.312 --> 00:02:17.652
Diagnosed sometimes are attend.
00:02:18.073 --> 00:02:21.552
Can be swayed by a lot of things going on in the world.
00:02:21.552 --> 00:02:23.263
So Gaia, welcome to the podcast.
00:02:23.772 --> 00:02:25.902
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
00:02:26.022 --> 00:02:30.742
Tell us how you came to this work and you know, how you got here today with me.
00:02:31.522 --> 00:02:31.943
Definitely.
00:02:31.943 --> 00:02:33.862
Thank you so much for having me, Lisa.
00:02:33.862 --> 00:02:35.152
It's just, this is exciting.
00:02:35.269 --> 00:02:43.459
my background is in fitness and wellness, so to talk about nutrition and eating healthy with all of your listeners today, I'm very excited for it.
00:02:43.519 --> 00:02:44.598
Uh, so how I.
00:02:44.658 --> 00:02:45.739
I kind of fell into this.
00:02:46.098 --> 00:02:49.669
I started as a personal trainer and doing the fitness and wellness coaching.
00:02:49.669 --> 00:02:50.449
I loved it.
00:02:50.598 --> 00:03:00.919
And then was diagnosed with A D H D about two and a half years ago, and that was when, I mean, if any of your listeners are like diagnosed as a d h, ADHD or it's like everything kind of makes sense.
00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:02.899
Everything falls into place.
00:03:02.903 --> 00:03:08.359
You're like, oh, that was why this worked for me and all these other things, you know, didn't work for me.
00:03:09.229 --> 00:03:18.288
So at that time, it made sense for me to switch my coaching to helping folks with A D H D, and that was in a wellness capacity.
00:03:18.318 --> 00:03:24.449
And over the course of those two and a half years of navigating that recent diagnosis, I needed access to meds.
00:03:24.449 --> 00:03:28.258
I was really struggling, but it just didn't work for me.
00:03:28.258 --> 00:03:29.609
I didn't like how I felt.
00:03:29.998 --> 00:03:33.989
So from there it was this journey of like, okay, I'm really struggling.
00:03:34.019 --> 00:03:37.049
I really don't like how these meds affect me.
00:03:37.498 --> 00:03:45.778
So how can I approach and, and live my life feeling as great as I can and living every day with so much attention in a natural way.
00:03:45.899 --> 00:03:57.899
So now I do help A D H Ds find those long-term natural approaches to their A D H D so that they can show up every day with intention and, and really fulfill their dreams and desires.
00:03:58.859 --> 00:03:59.098
Awesome.
00:03:59.496 --> 00:03:59.735
I think.
00:04:00.496 --> 00:04:11.753
I wanna first talk about how A D H D impacts your ability to eat well, but also because that is kind of a small percentage of my listeners, because.
00:04:12.818 --> 00:04:23.319
even if you don't have diagnosed A D H D, I think attention is something that is really a concern in 2023.
00:04:23.319 --> 00:04:28.449
And what I mean by that is it's just sucked by so many things.
00:04:28.509 --> 00:04:36.619
Social media in particular, but just general internet generally being busy, generally just having a.
00:04:36.759 --> 00:04:38.379
Thousand things to do.
00:04:38.439 --> 00:04:57.218
I find that a lot of times my clients and you know, people I do free sessions with, they just tell me, I am just so busy, I can't eat well, and I think that some of these tools are going to be appropriate even if you don't have this diagnosis.
00:04:57.218 --> 00:05:02.738
Can you speak to that a little bit before we jump into some of these tools and tips that we're going to be discussing?
00:05:03.874 --> 00:05:04.353
Definitely.
00:05:04.353 --> 00:05:09.963
I love that you just laid that out for your listeners, Lisa, because what I'm gonna be sharing.
00:05:10.533 --> 00:05:12.454
I'm sure many of you will resonate with.
00:05:12.634 --> 00:05:17.524
It's just if you are someone with a D H D, it's too more of an extreme.
00:05:17.524 --> 00:05:21.934
It's just that little bit more and makes it that bigger obstacle.
00:05:22.053 --> 00:05:26.973
But a lot of the things we struggle with is what most of us, you know, everyone else struggles with as well.
00:05:27.334 --> 00:05:35.283
And just to make it, uh, some basic facts about a D H D, this means either hyperactive or an attentive or a bit of bow.
00:05:35.283 --> 00:05:39.663
So it's a d H is optional D, and that doesn't mean.
00:05:40.014 --> 00:05:43.644
We can't focus, it just means we focus maybe on the wrong things.
00:05:43.644 --> 00:05:48.834
We can hyperfocus on something that can be to our detriment or can really help us.
00:05:49.793 --> 00:05:52.613
And our brains are just so busy.
00:05:52.704 --> 00:06:03.324
It's a just a simple way to put it where it's like a traffic jam, but all the traffic lights are completely out and you're trying to navigate traffic, but it's rush hour and there's a jam.
00:06:03.329 --> 00:06:04.314
Like what do you do?
00:06:04.553 --> 00:06:08.303
So we have all these thoughts and all the information.
00:06:08.309 --> 00:06:11.379
We know how to eat well, but we're like, I don't know the next step.
00:06:11.379 --> 00:06:13.598
I don't know how to put all these pieces together.
00:06:14.793 --> 00:06:15.994
I think in another.
00:06:16.949 --> 00:06:29.098
Way that we can, that some of us who don't have this diagnosis can see ourselves, which just reminds me of when I was in college and I took an abnormal psychology class and it was really an impactful class for me.
00:06:29.098 --> 00:06:30.329
I remember a lot of it.
00:06:30.329 --> 00:06:48.999
It could be because I took it with my then fiance, who's now my husband, and we studied a lot together, so it was, it was fun to do that, but our teacher was like, listen, On the first day, she was like, listen, you're going to see yourself in almost every one of these disorders we talk about.
00:06:49.629 --> 00:06:58.629
Everybody has a little of this and a little of that, and She just would remind us, like all semester long, do not diagnose yourself.
00:06:59.108 --> 00:07:01.689
And it's totally normal to find.
00:07:01.689 --> 00:07:07.749
And so some days, like some days you're kind of sad and it doesn't mean you have clinical depression.
00:07:07.778 --> 00:07:09.399
I mean, if you do, please get help.
00:07:09.403 --> 00:07:11.108
I, I'm not saying nobody does, right?
00:07:11.108 --> 00:07:15.369
But we can have small D depression, which is like the emotion of sadness.
00:07:15.369 --> 00:07:20.588
We can have small, a anxiety, not big a diagnosable, you know, clinical anxiety.
00:07:20.588 --> 00:07:23.528
Everyone gets anxious sometimes, and I think.
00:07:23.718 --> 00:07:29.598
Everyone has attention issues sometimes, especially when we get sucked into, like I said, social media especially.
00:07:29.598 --> 00:07:33.709
I guess that's just been on my mind a lot lately that I feel like it's like a time suck.
00:07:33.709 --> 00:07:36.769
So you'll notice me if you follow me on Instagram, you'll be like, oh, she's back.
00:07:37.129 --> 00:07:42.978
And she'll, she'll post, you know, a reel and tons of stories and then all of a sudden I'll be gone for a week, week and a half.
00:07:42.978 --> 00:07:44.149
'cause I'm like, I can't take it.
00:07:44.598 --> 00:07:47.059
I can't take the time suck that I like.
00:07:47.059 --> 00:07:47.418
I get.
00:07:47.524 --> 00:07:52.144
Stuck on social media and I feel like I have a hard time pulling my attention away.
00:07:52.144 --> 00:08:00.119
So I just think we can always see ourselves in some of these situations and don't diagnose yourself.
00:08:00.269 --> 00:08:06.809
But then also if you're like, oh my gosh, that's totally me, then absolutely use these tools.
00:08:06.869 --> 00:08:12.598
So huge issue is, like you said, we know what to eat.
00:08:12.838 --> 00:08:15.689
And I think this is true for a lot of us, like a lot of times.
00:08:16.144 --> 00:08:18.033
Lack of information is not the problem.
00:08:18.033 --> 00:08:24.274
We can Google and figure out pretty easily that, you know, vegetables and some protein is the way to go, right?
00:08:24.394 --> 00:08:27.603
My listeners have heard me preach like protein, fiber, and fat at every meal.
00:08:28.413 --> 00:08:29.553
We know these things.
00:08:29.673 --> 00:08:35.913
Why don't we do it when we have a D H D or other, you know, attention problems.
00:08:37.144 --> 00:08:39.543
I break this into almost two branches.
00:08:39.874 --> 00:08:42.673
We get this overwhelm of information and.
00:08:43.158 --> 00:08:49.908
If you do have a D h D or just resonate with this tendency of like constantly getting more information because you're like, it's not perfect.
00:08:49.908 --> 00:08:51.558
Like I need to have it all.
00:08:52.188 --> 00:08:55.119
And it's the strive for perfection.
00:08:55.403 --> 00:08:57.480
like analysis paralysis.
00:08:57.546 --> 00:08:58.206
Yeah.
00:08:58.211 --> 00:09:03.186
And what happens, it leads to paralysis because if it's not perfect.
00:09:03.556 --> 00:09:05.115
Then what's the point, right?
00:09:05.115 --> 00:09:08.086
Is this really all or nothing thinking and to the extreme?
00:09:08.086 --> 00:09:11.745
For us with a D H D, it's either, you know, black or white, all or nothing.
00:09:11.745 --> 00:09:14.176
And we really struggle with finding that balance.
00:09:14.475 --> 00:09:15.285
So what happens?
00:09:15.285 --> 00:09:25.666
It's like, okay, I'm either gonna be paralyzed from taking any action and it's Monday morning and I was ready to start this healthy, healthy eating plan for the weekend.
00:09:26.926 --> 00:09:28.066
Because it's just too much.
00:09:28.066 --> 00:09:30.826
I'm so overwhelmed I do nothing.
00:09:31.096 --> 00:09:32.086
Or it goes the other way.
00:09:32.086 --> 00:09:36.855
It's like, hmm, I'm gonna implement everything I know, but that's not sustainable.
00:09:36.855 --> 00:09:45.375
You can't try and, you know, follow everything you read online because you're essentially putting together all these puzzle pieces that are all from different puzzles.
00:09:45.380 --> 00:09:47.206
It's just not sustainable.
00:09:47.206 --> 00:09:51.525
So in two weeks you fall off and then this negative thought spiral.
00:09:51.855 --> 00:09:56.355
Just comes up and folks with a d h, adhd, we have a very intense negative thought spiral.
00:09:56.355 --> 00:10:01.995
Often this self-loathing, this, you know, this self-hate, this negative talk.
00:10:02.265 --> 00:10:05.086
It leaves us in that why bother?
00:10:05.475 --> 00:10:08.625
It's too overwhelming, I'm just not gonna try it.
00:10:08.686 --> 00:10:11.056
Or we get that wave of I'm gonna do it.
00:10:11.326 --> 00:10:12.225
It wasn't perfect.
00:10:12.225 --> 00:10:12.855
I'm falling off.
00:10:12.855 --> 00:10:14.326
So it's like this back and forth.
00:10:14.885 --> 00:10:16.456
Yeah, major perfection.
00:10:16.995 --> 00:10:19.576
Tendencies as well with a D H D?
00:10:19.576 --> 00:10:21.105
Is that what we see a lot?
00:10:21.105 --> 00:10:21.375
Yeah.
00:10:21.841 --> 00:10:22.561
definitely.
00:10:22.561 --> 00:10:23.041
definitely.
00:10:23.280 --> 00:10:24.541
And I like to think of this.
00:10:24.811 --> 00:10:32.041
This negative thought spiral as this newsreel clean our minds of this negative self-talk, like, you know what, you're not good enough.
00:10:32.431 --> 00:10:34.110
It's what you're doing isn't enough.
00:10:34.591 --> 00:10:36.150
It's never gonna be enough.
00:10:36.155 --> 00:10:37.020
You're a failure already.
00:10:37.025 --> 00:10:38.010
Why bother even trying?
00:10:38.010 --> 00:10:39.301
It's never worked before.
00:10:39.750 --> 00:10:45.120
And we all have that in our brains where we have an ego, but it's too that extreme.
00:10:45.946 --> 00:10:48.826
With a D H D, often not for everyone.
00:10:48.826 --> 00:10:58.916
Everyone has a range of symptoms and to different degrees, but it's just constantly looping in really loud, and it's really hard to start to quiet that down and find the clarity.
00:10:59.995 --> 00:11:25.791
Yeah, I think for women that like it's never gonna be good enough is just so constant, you know, if I can't follow this to a t I know that was a really big issue for me when I was kind of, As, as my listeners know on the, the diet that broke the camel's back, which was macro counting for me, and I was like, well, if I can't do it perfectly, plus or minus five grams of on every macro every day, like why bother?
00:11:25.796 --> 00:11:31.071
And so it was like a, yo-yo between the anxiety of making sure it was perfect and.
00:11:31.610 --> 00:11:34.970
Well, if it's not gonna be perfect, then I'll just screw up the whole day.
00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:36.649
It was, it's very confusing.
00:11:36.649 --> 00:11:38.929
Like when I look back, I'm like, what was my brain doing?
00:11:38.929 --> 00:11:49.980
But,, you have four simple tips to eating well, which I don't know if you are picking that up from the title or if it's how you phrase it too, but I love that.
00:11:49.980 --> 00:11:58.259
Right in our Eat Well pillar, what are your four simple tips to eating well with ease when you are challenged?
00:11:58.916 --> 00:11:59.035
D.
00:11:59.096 --> 00:11:59.995
D perfectionism.
00:12:00.916 --> 00:12:06.225
And the reason these are four simple tips is really a big pillar of all of the tips is.
00:12:06.520 --> 00:12:08.380
With a D H D, we over complicate everything.
00:12:08.441 --> 00:12:12.821
We get overwhelmed with having so much, right, that busy brain, that traffic jam.
00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:16.811
But when the cars are cleared, it's like, hmm, now I can make decisions.
00:12:16.811 --> 00:12:18.071
Now I know my next step.
00:12:18.071 --> 00:12:22.900
So these are gonna be simple tips, you know, let go, blah, the fluff.
00:12:22.900 --> 00:12:25.120
So the first tip is just that.
00:12:25.620 --> 00:12:27.000
It's radical permission.
00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:36.091
It's giving yourself radical permission to do things your way, ignore the shoulds, and create your own rules.
00:12:36.990 --> 00:12:47.880
And this was a very, very big one for myself and my own journey being diagnosed with A D H D and throughout my life of learning to eat well and exercise well from a healthy place is.
00:12:48.235 --> 00:12:59.605
When we keep trying to fit into this box that society has created for us, and with a D H D, it's, you know, our whole life, whether you're diagnosed or not, you're trying to fit in.
00:12:59.605 --> 00:13:01.735
'cause you never feel like you quite do.
00:13:02.635 --> 00:13:06.355
In reality, when you create our own box and decorate it exactly as we want to.
00:13:07.160 --> 00:13:11.841
So it's gimme yourself radical permission to be like, Hmm, I really like quinoa.
00:13:11.841 --> 00:13:12.831
I'm gonna eat that all the time.
00:13:13.041 --> 00:13:14.360
Or it's like, I hate quinoa.
00:13:14.360 --> 00:13:25.971
I don't care if it's healthy, I'm not going to eat it'cause I don't like it because we are trying so hard to, you know, follow the rules versus I can create my own rules and I know what's healthy and what feels good for me.
00:13:26.181 --> 00:13:28.941
So giving yourself, yeah, radical permission.
00:13:29.451 --> 00:13:30.471
I, I love that.
00:13:30.471 --> 00:13:35.000
I think we can learn so much about that from our past food journals.
00:13:35.311 --> 00:13:46.005
I'm constantly like Your food journal is the most important nutritional study you'll ever read because, It tells you what works for you.
00:13:46.306 --> 00:13:51.436
You don't need to know what works for the guy that's promoting keto on Instagram.
00:13:51.436 --> 00:13:59.025
You don't need to know what works for the nutrition study they did at Stanford with like the random meal timings like that.
00:13:59.265 --> 00:14:00.796
You can like read all that, but.
00:14:01.166 --> 00:14:11.245
Until you do it for yourself and note down how you feel and where your hunger scale was and if you had any digestive symptoms or mood symptoms like you can't know.
00:14:11.245 --> 00:14:20.096
So this bioindividuality of looking at your own food journal and really just saying, you know what, but this is good for me.
00:14:20.275 --> 00:14:23.196
I had a client the other day actually just a prospective client.
00:14:23.196 --> 00:14:27.306
She was like, I typically eat a roasted Turkey breast for breakfast.
00:14:27.306 --> 00:14:29.046
That's her like protein of choice.
00:14:29.046 --> 00:14:30.686
And I'm like, Awesome.
00:14:31.166 --> 00:14:34.936
is there anyone else out there that's like eating roasted Turkey, breast for breakfast?
00:14:34.936 --> 00:14:42.336
Probably not, but she's like, I don't need to eat food that everybody else labels as breakfast food because this is what works for me.
00:14:42.336 --> 00:14:43.655
I'm like, I love it.
00:14:44.154 --> 00:14:49.615
I love that example, and I, I hear similar things all of the time from folks with d h D.
00:14:49.615 --> 00:14:51.529
It's like, I can't have breakfast.
00:14:51.529 --> 00:14:53.720
'cause it's a, we also deal with all the sensory issues.
00:14:53.720 --> 00:14:54.679
It's like, I can't have breakfast.
00:14:54.679 --> 00:14:57.679
Like I just can't digest it, but I need to eat breakfast.
00:14:57.799 --> 00:15:02.629
And it's like, do you, well, you know, maybe it's having a smoothie'cause that feels good for you.
00:15:02.809 --> 00:15:07.820
Or maybe it's having something really small'cause you need that energy boost or that protein because having something in an hour.
00:15:08.950 --> 00:15:13.330
It's really going back to like your, like you said, your food journal, like what makes you feel good.
00:15:13.330 --> 00:15:16.029
Your body knows what it needs and what it wants.
00:15:16.539 --> 00:15:21.940
And I also wanna tell all ladies years out there, if you love a food, you're like, I could eat this every day.
00:15:22.059 --> 00:15:23.139
Go ahead and eat every day.
00:15:23.559 --> 00:15:26.080
Because we often think that's wrong and it's, it's not
00:15:27.080 --> 00:15:27.950
yeah, yeah.
00:15:28.020 --> 00:15:28.500
Totally.
00:15:28.530 --> 00:15:28.561
Okay.
00:15:30.140 --> 00:15:31.431
so simple tip two.
00:15:32.211 --> 00:15:36.260
This one, I hope you really embrace this and run with this.
00:15:36.291 --> 00:15:40.498
It's my science experiment tip, because if you think of.
00:15:40.918 --> 00:15:51.357
All of the other tips and everything you've read and heard about healthy eating as a science experiment, a fun two week science experiment, it takes off that pressure of it being perfect.
00:15:51.717 --> 00:15:53.278
It's like, take your hypothesis.
00:15:53.283 --> 00:15:58.587
It's like, hmm, could I eat the same breakfast for two weeks straight and not get sick of it and, and feel good?
00:15:58.618 --> 00:16:01.677
It's like, I don't know, can we just test it for two weeks?
00:16:01.677 --> 00:16:02.878
So see how it goes.
00:16:03.268 --> 00:16:05.788
There's no wrong answer'cause it's an experiment.
00:16:06.123 --> 00:16:10.472
So once you try test that hypothesis, you have the data and then you'll know.
00:16:10.982 --> 00:16:22.832
And this is such a great way to overcome the overwhelming paralysis because with us, with a h d, our concept of time is not the same as someone with neuro A neurotypical.
00:16:22.832 --> 00:16:29.173
So, To stick to a meal plan for 30, 60 days, that is like, oh my God, that is just so overwhelming.
00:16:29.743 --> 00:16:30.072
Yeah.
00:16:30.072 --> 00:16:38.503
But 14 days, it's like that's just that right amount of time that we can see the effect, but it feels so manageable in our minds.
00:16:39.432 --> 00:16:46.602
If you think of it as a fun experiment, there's no wrong answer, I promise, and it's going to work for you.
00:16:46.602 --> 00:16:49.482
You're gonna get the data and you're gonna know, make your next step from there.
00:16:50.359 --> 00:16:51.198
That is awesome.
00:16:51.249 --> 00:16:52.808
I love the idea also.
00:16:52.808 --> 00:16:55.538
This really just speaks to, there's no rush.
00:16:56.168 --> 00:16:59.068
I think a lot of us feel in.
00:16:59.078 --> 00:17:03.662
A rush to lose weight or in a rush to I gotta change my lifestyle.
00:17:03.662 --> 00:17:04.561
I gotta be healthy.
00:17:04.832 --> 00:17:11.491
And maybe you've seen someone in your life go through, you know, a, a health crisis and you're like, okay, I gotta do it.
00:17:11.491 --> 00:17:21.241
Or you have a deadline, you've got a wedding or a, you know, high school reunion or some arbitrary thing that you have in your mind, you think you've got to lose weight for.
00:17:21.247 --> 00:17:26.192
But I promise you, like there is no deadline for you to be healthy.
00:17:26.942 --> 00:17:29.415
And taking two weeks to see what works.
00:17:29.415 --> 00:17:31.365
Like let's just see if this breakfast works.
00:17:31.365 --> 00:17:37.276
Just really helps you kind of give up that deadline, like you've got your whole life to be healthy.
00:17:37.846 --> 00:17:42.465
And if it takes you a year, I ask my clients all this all the time.
00:17:42.471 --> 00:17:44.865
I'm like, what if it took you a year to get this weight off?
00:17:44.895 --> 00:17:46.726
Like, are you willing to do it?
00:17:47.596 --> 00:17:54.066
And that's where we've gotta be willing to just try things for a couple weeks and let it be okay.