May 21, 2025

Enjoy the Party Without the Post-Event Regret [Ep. 148]

Show Notes
Transcript

2025 Podcast Content Survey –I’d love to hear from you!! Everyone that participates will be entered into a drawing for an Amazon gift card! Drawing will be May 27! Thanks!!

Social events can feel like a minefield when you're trying to eat in a way that feels good to your body. Between graduation parties, summer barbecues, potlucks, weddings, and dinner out with friends, it's easy to end up eating things you didn’t plan for—then walking away feeling bloated, regretful, or frustrated with yourself.

In this episode, I'm giving you a simple approach to help you feel more in control and confident in these moments, without needing to be the person who brings their own food or skips dessert to stay "on track." We’ll talk about what to do before, during, and after these events—because the truth is, you can enjoy food and stay aligned with your goals.

You'll learn:

Why social eating is so hard
My Pause–Plan–Proceed method for navigating any event
Practical tips for buffets, potlucks, dessert tables, and candy bowls
How to handle restaurants with friends—without overdoing it
What to do after the event, whether it went great or not-so-great

If you want to stop feeling like food is running the show at every celebration, this episode is for you.

Ready to enjoy food and still feel good afterward? Let’s talk. Book your free coaching consult HERE

What To Do When You Overeat– During Weight Loss!

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WEBVTT

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This is the Eat Well Think Well Live Well podcast.

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I'm Lisa Salisbury and this is episode 148.

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Enjoy the party without the post event regret.

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I.

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Welcome to eat well.

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Well, the podcast for busy women who want to lose weight without constantly counting, tracking, or stressing over every bite.

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I'm Lisa Salsbury, a certified health weight loss and life coach, and most importantly, a recovered chronic dieter here.

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You'll learn to listen to your body and uncover the reasons you're reaching for food.

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When you're not truly hungry, freeing you to focus on a healthier, more fulfilling approach to eating.

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Hey friends, it's December.

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If you don't know what I'm talking about, congratulations on having a normal month.

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For the rest of you, I know you are super busy in that weird end of school, but feels as busy as Christmas kind of way.

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I was looking at my content survey and one listener said their biggest headache they wish I could make go away was navigating social situations with food.

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Like dinner out with friends, church potlucks, candy connected to the holidays and I thought that was a great topic for this time of year.

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I was like, oh man, it's all happening right now.

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Grad parties, barbecues, church potlucks, spring and summer weddings.

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The bridal showers to go with those weddings, and I'm sure you could name several more.

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So let's talk about that today.

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We can feel great in our day-to-day.

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Eating at home like that is really, we've got that down.

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In a, in a routine, but those special events where food is front and center can be tricky.

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I can't snap my fingers and make it go away, but I can give you some promising strategies to help you have fun and also feel good in your body and not leave every social event thinking, why did I do that again?

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Before we get into the meat of this episode, just reminding you that I do have that content survey open for one more week for the Amazon gift card giveaway.

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The link will always work, so if you're listening to this at a later date and you have a question for me, do feel free to still hop on that survey and contribute.

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I'm always open to help you with what you really need.

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Just like in this episode for this listener.

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But I will do the giveaway on next week's podcast for the content survey.

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For those that have participated already, it should just take you a few minutes to fill out.

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So tap on the link at the very top of the show notes.

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Alright, Let's start by just calling out what makes these situations feel so tricky.

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You, you're surrounded by food that you didn't plan for.

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Everyone else seems to be eating freely and you don't wanna feel like the odd one out.

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And I wanna put everyone else here in air quotes because.

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There are people just like you in this crowd, but you've, your brain is feeling like everyone else, okay?

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There's also this tug of war between I wanna enjoy myself and I wanna feel good after.

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Sometimes you get comments or pressure from mothers, you're not eating cake or, come on, it's a party.

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And maybe if we're being honest, you use these events as a little excuse, like it's just one day, but then there's another event next week and another one after that.

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So we have to really question ourselves when we call these things special events or one time things.

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So if you feel stuck or out of control in these moments, just know this.

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It's not necessarily a lack of willpower, it's just that you haven't decided ahead of time how you want to handle these situations, and so you've left it up to your lower brain and.

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Well, she's just not that dependable in the face of sweets.

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That's what we're going to work on today.

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So I wanna introduce you to the pause plan.

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Proceed approach before the event, or if it's been hectic getting ready and getting the kids dressed and everyone out the door.

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Then even just some time before you walk in.

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It doesn't have to be like 24 hours before or an hour before, but just some time before you step foot through the door.

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Pause for a second and ask yourself.

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What do I wanna get out of this experience?

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And number two, how do I want to feel when I leave?

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That's your anchor.

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Okay?

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Those two questions, those are your anchors.

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Now, I'm not gonna tell you the answer.

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I'm not gonna tell you what you want out of this experience, but I do wanna say, think about the full picture.

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Do you want to connect with cousins you haven't seen in a long time at this wedding?

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Do you wanna network about a business thing?

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Are you interested in meeting some of the parents of your kids that might be at this school event?

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What, besides the food, are you looking forward to?

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And that is maybe what you want to get out of the experience.

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There also might be particular foods, Maybe it's one of those school events where everyone brings a food from their home country and you're really looking forward to somebody that is bringing something from Brazil or you know, it could be the food.

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I'm not saying it isn't, but.

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We wanna look a little bit beyond that as well.

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And then how you want to feel when you leave should probably be more of a feeling.

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So this is that emotion that goes in the feeling line of the model.

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So a singular word.

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So we're looking for things like confident, refreshed love, if maybe you were with family connected content.

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So that is your pause.

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Okay, number two is plan.

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You don't have to plan every bite, especially since I'm hoping for your sake, you aren't in charge of the food, so you don't actually know what's being served.

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Um, you know, that's just a lot of work if you're in charge of the food, but if you are more power to you anyway, make a loose plan.

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So here are a couple of questions you can use.

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For this plan, what are the foods I really love and want to enjoy today?

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So like what types of foods are you looking for?

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Where can I be flexible and where do I wanna stay aligned with my goals?

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So examples would be, you might decide I'm skipping the chips and dip, but I'm going to enjoy the burger and have one dessert that I actually want.

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Or I'm going to build a full plate once.

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Enjoy it.

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And that will be plenty.

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So that is the, like the whole entire plan for some of these events.

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Okay.

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We're not writing down, you know, make sure we get exactly our protein numbers and our fiber numbers and all of that.

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'cause you know, you're not bringing a food scale.

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I hope you don't to these kinds of events and you are going to enjoy the event.

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And so we're looking for this kind of loose plan, but planning does help reduce that frantic.

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Grazing where you're nibbling at everything and enjoying nothing.

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You can also plan to walk the buffet line and see what's there because your lower brain will be delighted to sabotage you by saying, oh, look, there's more good food at the end, and now the plate is full.

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So you.

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Better grab another.

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I remember doing this at my son's water polo end of season banquets.

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It was always a potluck, and I would just casually walk from the end of the table down to the beginning where the plates were prior to getting in line and just mentally noting what looked good.

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I.

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What I wanted to try and not feeling like I had to put everything on my plate.

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The other part of your plan can also be that enjoying it piece.

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You heard that?

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I said, you know, build a full plate, enjoy it, and then it's gonna be plenty, right?

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You don't always know if the food will be something that you like.

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When you put it on your plate, if you didn't make it or if you're not familiar with it or you know didn't order it, you might not know.

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So I find that the beautiful desserts to be the most deceiving, right, they look amazing and they taste in the words of my teenager sorta mid.

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So if you take a bite and think, meh.

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It's fine.

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Then commit ahead of time that you won't continue to eat that, get something else if you really wanted to have a dessert, but don't just eat the thing on your plate because it's there.

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I went to a wedding reception last weekend that was a kind of a casual open house type situation, and there was a little bit of a dessert bar.

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They didn't do cake, they did a dessert bar and each of the desserts were literally.

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You could probably eat them in one bite, but I think they were probably considered two bites.

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And so I got three and I cut them in half.

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And so I was like literally having like a half a bite of each one and I just tried them.

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And the one that I liked, I ate the whole thing, and the other ones I just left on my plate.

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Okay, so that is your plan.

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And number three is proceed.

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So go, go, enjoy, eat what you chose, be present with the people.

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And here's the most important part, no shame afterward.

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If you eat more than you planned, it's information, not a failure.

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We'll discuss that coming up.

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Okay, so let's go for some specific situations and more tips for these kinds of events.

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So if you're on a buffet or a potluck, use the one plate guideline, fill your plate with what looks good, eat it mindfully, and then be done.

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Most of us do not really need more than one plate when we're talking about volume of food.

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I also like to use the, what color is your plate guide?

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At home, it's unlikely there is enough food on your plate so that you can't see what color it is.

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Picture how much food and volume is usually what you eat at home.

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Go for that same amount and just use that cue.

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Can I see the color of my plate?

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Sometimes potluck plates are smaller than what we use at home.

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I understand that.

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And that's where you kind of wanna Keep that cue of, can I see some space around my food?

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We don't wanna have what, you know, what you can kind of picture as that sort of pile of food that people sometimes, do at potlucks.

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So for most of my listeners, you guys are middle aged women.

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If you're outside of that range, welcome.

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But I'm just saying in that age range.

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We don't, we just don't require that much food at a singular meal.

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If it's an appetizer or snacky type event instead of a full dinner.

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As far as the potluck or buffet kind of situation, I would still recommend a plate.

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So plate your appetizers, plate your snacks, and make an effort not to eat.

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Standing up around.

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The cheeseboard.

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Okay.

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If it's, um, like a dessert and treat table kind of situation.

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So this might be, like bridal showers or I, um, at my church they do what's called a linger longer, which is just like everyone brings a snack or a treat and we eat a little bit after church to linger around and socialize.

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So.

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This is not a full meal.

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So again, we wanna scan first.

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Choose what you actually want, not just what's in front of you, not just the first cookies that you pass.

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If you know dessert is your thing, plan for that and skip something else that matters less to you.

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Don't eat the little smokies and barbecue sauce.

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If you really want that little, you know, heart shaped rice Krispie treat or whatever, right?

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So for me, this is like, I definitely would skip like the chips, like the chips and onion dip.

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I, I really like that.

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But if I have to choose, I'm gonna go for sweets over salty every time.

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another thing that you're gonna watch out for at these kinds of events are those people we call food pushers.

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So when they're offering you things and reminding you like, Hey, it's a party and why aren't you having cake?

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And, um, you know, whatever else, these things, and, and it depends.

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If it's a more of a public gathering, you know, church or school event, probably not gonna have this as much as you will with family gatherings.

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you've got that crazy aunt or grandma or you know, you know the one you, you, you know who, who comments on your body and on food, right?

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Um, so just practice ahead of time.

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I'm good for now.

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Thanks.

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Oh, that does look amazing.

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I'll grab some later.

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Remember being polite.

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Doesn't mean you have to say yes.

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No, thank you is totally polite and I know it can be tricky.

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I can hear you right now saying no.

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They get mad if we don't have seconds and, and people get offended if I don't eat their food.

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And you know what?

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That, that actually is okay.

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let them be offended.

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And I'm not a relationship expert as far as, um, with coaching, but I do do a little bit of relationship coaching and I will tell you that that is all about them and not about you.

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And.

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You totally have the right to say, that doesn't work for me in whatever way that you feel comfortable, I find I'm good for now.

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Thanks.

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Is probably my best response.

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Okay, let's talk about candy and holiday treats.

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So candy bowls that are out, like in break rooms and on your, you know, coworker's desk.

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We wanna get honest about it being special.

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These kind of like holiday candies, especially.

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One example I like to think of is that Reese's Peanut butter Easter eggs, which we just passed, are the same as the pumpkins.

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And the same as the trees.

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They're just packaged in different colors and formed into different shapes.

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So, and I, I tell you, I just had this conversation with my daughter's boyfriend and he's like, this was like the hill.

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He was gonna die on the.

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The eggs were different.

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He was like a hundred percent sure.

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And I'm like, they are a hundred percent the same.

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And you might think that, you might be like, they, they taste better in April and they might to you, but I just want you to get honest about it being special or unique or this is the only time.

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Those are slippery slope thoughts.

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They are going to almost always lead you to overindulge on those things.

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So.

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We want to get really clear about how often you can choose that item.

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This also goes for really anything that's on buffet lines or at restaurants.

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For the most part, you can go and get that thing anytime, anytime.

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A lot of times we have these thoughts about foods that we're ordering in restaurants in our own hometown, like you pass these restaurants.

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All the time, or you could choose to go to them.

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So we wanna get really clear about what is a special occasion, um, also, especially with candy and holiday treats, things that just tend to be out all the time.

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If it's just there, this is where you also wanna pause and ask, do I want this or is it my habit to grab it when I see it?

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So really pause when you're seeing those things that are just kind of always there.

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All right.

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What about out to dinner with friends?

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You're at a restaurant and either it's maybe just you and your husband, or you've got a big group.

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Restaurants can feel tricky because portions are big.

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The menu might be a total surprise.

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You might not have chosen it, and maybe everyone's ordering appetizers, drinks, desserts, and it's easy to just go along just to fit in.

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So here's a couple things you can do to handle it.

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If you can look at the menu ahead of time, decide what feels like a good balance for you before you're sitting there hungry, distracted, and influenced.

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Pick your star.

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Okay, so this is the the thing where you're like, this is my favorite thing about going out to to a meal.

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Is it the bread basket?

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Is it a fun cocktail?

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Is it a big pasta dish?

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Is it a shared dessert?

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You don't have to skip everything, but you probably don't need all of those things, right?

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You're probably gonna be over full if you.

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eat all of the bread in the bread basket, you order the cocktail you finish the big pasta dish and you have a dessert, right?

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That sounds like a lot of food.

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So choose one or maybe two that you'll really enjoy and feel good about that.

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Okay, don't show up starving.

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This is kind of a tricky one because you know, I want you to eat when you are hungry and ready to eat on the hunger scale.

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But we do find ourselves overeating when we're way down, you know, negative seven or eight and old diet culture tells you to skip all your meals ahead of a big, out to dinner night.

00:16:48.173 --> 00:16:50.602
I, I really do not recommend doing that.

00:16:50.633 --> 00:16:56.332
Be sure that you're eating as you typically do for breakfast and lunch so that you have a good.

00:16:56.493 --> 00:17:00.633
Base, you're, you have already satisfied yourself during the day.

00:17:01.082 --> 00:17:09.762
This will be helpful because when the you know, the chips and salsa maybe come out and those are gone before you even notice and you're full before.

00:17:09.792 --> 00:17:11.262
You know, your entree even gets there.

00:17:11.262 --> 00:17:11.653
So.

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You know, be aware of the timing of the meal and think about when your last meal was so that you are not showing up in that negative seven, eight category of the hunger scale.

00:17:25.053 --> 00:17:27.932
Try and time it so that you're ready to eat.

00:17:27.932 --> 00:17:29.073
We want you to be hungry.

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But we don't wanna be starving.

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also think about the fact that you don't have to match your friends.

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It's okay to order what feels right for you, even if they're ordering something totally different.

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If they comment a simple, this is just what I'm in the mood for is enough.

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you don't have to explain it.

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You don't have to say what you had for lunch and that's why you're ordering this.

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None of that.

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You just say, oh yeah, this is what looked good to me.

00:17:55.227 --> 00:18:01.257
Another thing we wanna kind of carry over from eating at home into restaurants is stopping when you're satisfied.

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It's much easier at home because it's, you know, your own food and there's no social pressure.

00:18:08.217 --> 00:18:17.457
But at restaurants, because we have those bigger portions, it feels a little bit harder because you didn't dish up your plate with exactly how much you wanted.

00:18:17.517 --> 00:18:18.866
They brought it out to you.

00:18:19.467 --> 00:18:21.866
So of course you can always take the rest home.

00:18:22.571 --> 00:18:28.541
But it's also an option to just not eat everything because you really don't have to.

00:18:28.961 --> 00:18:36.192
What you're paying for at a restaurant experience is very little about the actual food being served.

00:18:36.311 --> 00:18:37.632
Now, I will caveat this.

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If I ever go to like a Michelin Star restaurant, you, you better believe like, I'm gonna order everything and like eat it all right?

00:18:44.442 --> 00:18:51.251
But I'm talking about your regular restaurants, like when you guys are out with friends, um, you know, on the weekend.

00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:58.144
These are the times that can kind of sabotage your whole week if you're not, just planning a little bit ahead.

00:18:58.144 --> 00:19:02.795
And I'm not trying to be dramatic, but, you know, a little bit of a plan goes a long way.

00:19:03.154 --> 00:19:08.914
And just practicing stopping when you're satisfied at home and just continuing that practice at a restaurant.

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You don't have to overeat just because they overserved you.

00:19:13.805 --> 00:19:15.964
Okay, now it's after the event.

00:19:16.565 --> 00:19:23.434
You did your pause planned and proceeded, and now it can go one of two ways.

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If it went well, again, pause and acknowledge it seriously.

00:19:29.134 --> 00:19:32.285
Don't just move on to the next thing and be like, oh, yeah, yeah, it was fine.

00:19:32.644 --> 00:19:34.265
Like really give yourself credit.

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I chose food that felt good to me.

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I stayed present and enjoyed what I ate.

00:19:39.815 --> 00:19:44.765
I felt connected with the people I was with, not distracted by food drama in my head.

00:19:45.154 --> 00:19:51.664
Imagine if you said that to yourself going to bed instead of just being like, well, yeah, that's how I should always behave.

00:19:51.664 --> 00:19:52.565
Of course I did that.

00:19:53.345 --> 00:19:53.615
Right.

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Can you hear yourself being like, I shouldn't get any credit for just being, for eating like a normal person.

00:19:58.880 --> 00:19:59.089
Right.

00:19:59.089 --> 00:20:01.160
No, but you do, you do get credit.

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You get credit for choosing food that felt good to you.

00:20:04.470 --> 00:20:06.299
This is really how you build self-trust.

00:20:06.299 --> 00:20:13.470
When you see that you can do it, and when you reinforce that success, you're more likely to do it again next time.

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Even if you only made one decision that felt good, like passing on seconds or stopping when you felt satisfied, that's worth recognizing.

00:20:22.950 --> 00:20:30.730
This is how we get to real change, not with perfection, but with small amounts of alignment that start to really stack up.

00:20:32.069 --> 00:20:35.880
If it didn't go how you hoped, don't spiral.

00:20:36.059 --> 00:20:37.650
It's the same process.

00:20:38.039 --> 00:20:40.529
We're just gonna shift into some curiosity.

00:20:40.710 --> 00:20:44.339
So what felt hard might be a good question.

00:20:44.789 --> 00:20:47.910
Was I tired, stressed, or feeling social pressure?

00:20:48.750 --> 00:20:51.509
What would I try differently next time?

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And this isn't about hindsight being 2020, it's about really looking at this event with curiosity and saying.

00:21:00.105 --> 00:21:04.785
Like, what was hard about that event and how could I make it easier next time?

00:21:05.144 --> 00:21:08.265
What response could, could I prepare for that food pusher?

00:21:08.565 --> 00:21:14.775
What could I do to prepare myself a little bit better from a maybe a hunger perspective?

00:21:14.775 --> 00:21:19.904
Or if you were too tired when you went, like what could you do to prepare next time?

00:21:20.450 --> 00:21:23.059
It's like I said, don't spiral into shame.

00:21:23.119 --> 00:21:24.440
This is for learning.

00:21:24.980 --> 00:21:29.690
This is also a great time to use my free course, what to do when you overeat.

00:21:29.690 --> 00:21:39.265
It helps you move on and keeps you out of guilt and shame, and also keeps you from going into that major restriction mode that we often revert to when we've over eaten.

00:21:40.250 --> 00:21:42.500
You can find that free course in the show notes.

00:21:42.500 --> 00:21:53.900
And let me just say that any time that we eat more than we planned, but also there's times where we eat foods that we didn't plan that you could consider, uh, quote unquote overeat.

00:21:54.170 --> 00:22:01.970
So this course is applicable, whether, don't, don't think of it as something that you would use, like only in the case of a major binge.

00:22:02.299 --> 00:22:04.490
It's just like if things didn't go as planned.

00:22:05.190 --> 00:22:07.440
That's when you wanna, you know, pull this out.

00:22:08.339 --> 00:22:19.259
So as we head into summer with all of the parties and events, just remember you can have fun, eat food you enjoy and still feel great afterward.

00:22:19.980 --> 00:22:27.684
Almost always, it's not about the actual food served, it's about the quantity of food that I ate.

00:22:28.410 --> 00:22:31.440
That determines how I feel afterward in my body.

00:22:32.099 --> 00:22:37.230
I absolutely can eat a hamburger and even french fries if I don't overeat them.

00:22:37.289 --> 00:22:38.039
I feel fine.

00:22:38.069 --> 00:22:41.700
I actually had that this week and I was like, wow, I don't feel.

00:22:42.630 --> 00:22:44.339
Like over full at all.

00:22:44.339 --> 00:22:53.970
And it was one, it, it was actually a pretty good experience because I, um, I actually made the hamburgers, I think I talked about this somewhere else, um, maybe on Instagram.

00:22:54.180 --> 00:23:02.039
I made the hamburgers myself and they were a three ounce patty instead of, typically I make them when I make'em at home, like for sometimes even five ounce patties.

00:23:02.099 --> 00:23:05.069
And I just realized like, that's just too much food for me.

00:23:05.414 --> 00:23:06.105
These days.

00:23:06.134 --> 00:23:10.035
And so I was like, well, I'm making this, why don't I just make them smaller?

00:23:10.095 --> 00:23:11.174
And I did.

00:23:11.174 --> 00:23:17.924
And overall it just came out to be just a, a much smaller meal and it really made a huge difference.

00:23:17.924 --> 00:23:23.085
And so that was a good like practice run, if you will, for summer barbecues, but just.

00:23:23.115 --> 00:23:33.914
The idea that it's, it's really not the food that upsets my stomach sometimes or causes digestive distress or just, you know, that feeling of, you know, just not good in your body and overeating.

00:23:34.244 --> 00:23:36.105
It's, it's really the volume of food.

00:23:36.555 --> 00:23:47.295
So if you need help figuring out how to make this you new normal, not just for this may, December and, you know, summertime, but for your everyday eating, I'd love to work with you.

00:23:47.714 --> 00:23:49.664
Start with that free, what to do when you overeat.

00:23:49.664 --> 00:23:51.515
Course that I mentioned before.

00:23:51.515 --> 00:23:52.714
This is really for you.

00:23:52.744 --> 00:24:03.154
If you find yourself overeating too many times in a week to see lasting weight loss, you'll get the reset and recover guide and figure out how to reduce your overeats and not beat yourself up about it.

00:24:03.545 --> 00:24:09.815
You can also schedule a free consult session to see if my full 12 week one-on-one coaching program is right for you.

00:24:10.234 --> 00:24:12.244
All the links are in the show notes.

00:24:12.515 --> 00:24:19.085
Remember, it's not just about the food, it's also about empowering yourself with choices that truly serve you.

00:24:19.384 --> 00:24:24.454
Have a great week and as always, thanks for listening to the Eat Well Think Well Live Well podcast.