Feb. 7, 2024
Bounce Back Culture in Postpartum with Arielle Martone [Ep. 81]
![Bounce Back Culture in Postpartum with Arielle Martone [Ep. 81]](https://getpodpage.com/image_transform_gate_v3/38mdiI2rITZafLrYNGWRJQy4AyE45b0LIXxUieJ2MSE=/?image_url=https%3A%2F%2Fstorage.buzzsprout.com%2Fvh6cher1i2jd08liujirstyno4lf%3F.jpg&w=1200&h=630&fill=blur "Bounce Back Culture in Postpartum with Arielle Martone [Ep. 81]")
If you’ve had a baby, you’ve heard the term “bounce back.” How quickly you “bounced back” into your body or your life is often celebrated. But does this hinder our recovery?
And are we still carrying some of these thoughts about trying to “get our bodies back” into our weight loss today?
Listen as Dr. Arielle Martone and I discuss what true recovery looks like in postpartum and how we can avoid this talk of “bouncing back.”
And it’s never too late by the way! I’m 16 years out and Arielle tell us there are still things that can be recovered (I’m looking at you peeing with sneezing!!)
More from Well with Lisa:
- Group program: we started today!! If you’re still interested, email me HERE
- Your Go-To Meal Guide: grab it HERE
- Schedule your free strategy session: wellwithlisa.as.me
- Let's be friends! Follow me on instagram: @well_with_lisa
More from Arielle Martone:
- Get Arielle’s FREE guide→Take Care Down There: Pelvic Recovery 101
- Website: findyourwaymama.com
- Instagram: @ariellemartone
About Arielle:
Arielle Martone is a doctor of physical therapy, yoga teacher, EFT practitioner, author and certified pre and postnatal coach, turned postpartum wellness coach after having 2 kids and overcoming postpartum depression and pelvic pain. Arielle founded Find Your Way Mama LLC to offer resources and services to new moms including The Postpartum Revolution help new moms reconnect mind/body and actually heal postpartum so they can have more energy, feel strong and confident not only in their bodies but who they are becoming.
More from Well with Lisa:
- Schedule a free session: wellwithlisa.as.me
- Your Go-To Meal Guide: grab it HERE
- Instagram: @well_with_lisa
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:00.010 --> 00:00:02.020
This is the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast.
00:00:02.080 --> 00:00:09.009
I'm Lisa Salsbury, and this is episode 81 bounce back culture in postpartum with Arielle Martin.
00:00:09.759 --> 00:00:13.390
If you've had a baby, you've heard the term bounce back.
00:00:13.990 --> 00:00:23.620
How quickly you bounced back into your body or your life is often celebrated, but does this hinder our recovery?
00:00:24.100 --> 00:00:26.800
And more importantly for my clients.
00:00:26.829 --> 00:00:33.850
And for you listeners, are you still carrying some of those thoughts about trying to get your body back?
00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:36.130
Into your weight loss today.
00:00:36.700 --> 00:00:38.079
Listen as Dr.
00:00:38.079 --> 00:00:48.070
Ariel Martin and I discuss what true recovery looks like in postpartum and how we can avoid this talk of bouncing back and keep listening.
00:00:48.310 --> 00:00:53.679
Even if you are multiple years postpartum, like I am, it is never too late.
00:00:53.710 --> 00:00:54.729
Spoiler alert.
00:00:54.759 --> 00:00:57.789
We are going to talk about peeing with sneezing.
00:01:01.582 --> 00:01:08.483
Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food.
00:01:09.112 --> 00:01:10.673
I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury.
00:01:11.063 --> 00:01:16.722
I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter.
00:01:17.332 --> 00:01:23.272
I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating.
00:01:25.918 --> 00:01:28.418
Welcome back to the eat well, think well, live well podcast.
00:01:28.698 --> 00:01:30.799
I am excited to have Ariel Martone.
00:01:30.808 --> 00:01:35.168
She is a physical therapist and a postpartum wellness coach here on the podcast today.
00:01:35.168 --> 00:01:35.968
Welcome Ariel.
00:01:36.888 --> 00:01:37.789
Hi, thank you.
00:01:38.659 --> 00:01:43.879
So we are going to be talking all about her expertise in postpartum wellness.
00:01:44.349 --> 00:01:51.459
So I'm going to let her get started with introducing herself a little bit about what she does, and then we'll jump into our conversation.
00:01:52.948 --> 00:01:53.698
Yes, sure.
00:01:53.698 --> 00:01:55.618
So thank you for having me, Lisa.
00:01:55.659 --> 00:02:02.679
I am a doctor of physical therapy, a yoga teacher, pre and postnatal coach.
00:02:02.728 --> 00:02:06.519
And I've shifted fully into postpartum wellness coaching.
00:02:06.909 --> 00:02:11.438
After having my two kids, I had to do IVF for both of them.
00:02:11.489 --> 00:02:13.769
And so it was a long process to get there.
00:02:14.239 --> 00:02:20.449
And through that process, and really through my own postpartum, phase and postpartum journey.
00:02:20.808 --> 00:02:37.808
I, you know, being a physical therapist and having some training in women's health and pelvic health prior to my own motherhood journey, and having, you know, strong interest there, I sort of knew what to expect, at least from, from the physical recovery aspect.
00:02:38.258 --> 00:02:49.614
I knew that one, I needed to physically recover, which I feel is something that It's not really well, well known after having a baby.
00:02:49.764 --> 00:02:56.683
We kind of just brush through it and gloss over it and we think that, Oh, it's just this natural process that happens.
00:02:56.683 --> 00:03:00.304
And so we just kind of go back to how we were.
00:03:00.963 --> 00:03:25.372
Without having to do anything, but you know, our body was adjusting and growing and shifting for the entire, you know, nine, closer to 10 months of carrying the baby, then the actual delivery process, however that occurs, and then afterwards, so it does need to heal, and then we do need to go through an active recovery to really kind of Thank you.
00:03:25.753 --> 00:03:30.424
really move forward with how our body is moving and functioning properly.
00:03:31.084 --> 00:03:32.913
So I had, you know, I had some background in that.
00:03:32.913 --> 00:03:42.520
I had some awareness, um, but I wasn't really prepared for kind of one, the difficulty of it and two.
00:03:43.444 --> 00:03:48.365
I was kind of expecting a little bit more guidance on it.
00:03:48.365 --> 00:03:50.354
You know, I was a physical therapist.
00:03:50.354 --> 00:03:52.854
I've been practicing for close to 15 years now.
00:03:52.895 --> 00:03:55.544
And I've worked in almost every setting.
00:03:56.245 --> 00:04:03.414
I've worked in a hospital and after any type of surgery, you are met with a physical therapist for pretty much any surgery.
00:04:03.905 --> 00:04:05.625
With my son, I had a C section.
00:04:06.074 --> 00:04:10.284
Major abdominal surgery, not a single therapist came into the room.
00:04:10.974 --> 00:04:19.584
Again, fortunately, because I knew how to move around after a surgery, I was able to, you know, get myself out of bed rolling to my side and all, and all of that.
00:04:19.954 --> 00:04:27.586
Um, but I was kind of surprised that there really was no guidance on What we should be doing.
00:04:27.586 --> 00:04:35.107
We were giving kind of a brief list of what not to do for that six week time frame and then Basically, you're like good to go
00:04:35.560 --> 00:04:39.290
I feel like the only thing I was given is like, don't have sex for six weeks.
00:04:39.899 --> 00:04:41.410
That was like the only instruction.
00:04:41.420 --> 00:04:42.416
Like, take it easy.
00:04:42.416 --> 00:04:43.096
Don't have sex.
00:04:43.107 --> 00:04:43.867
Then you're good to go.
00:04:44.817 --> 00:04:59.067
yeah with so with with my daughter because I was able to have the V back vaginal birth after That was basically the instruction no sex for six weeks and no exercising for six weeks but like But what does that even mean, Grace?
00:04:59.067 --> 00:05:00.836
We should have a little bit of guidance on that.
00:05:01.177 --> 00:05:04.797
Um, but after the C section, there was a little bit longer of a list.
00:05:04.817 --> 00:05:10.076
Basically, it was no, um, you know, not too much twisting and lifting.
00:05:10.076 --> 00:05:15.817
Nothing heavier than the baby, but the baby in the car seat carrier, pretty much, which is actually quite heavy.
00:05:15.937 --> 00:05:17.406
Pretty heavy and awkward.
00:05:17.406 --> 00:05:18.716
Cause it's to the side.
00:05:18.726 --> 00:05:20.396
It's like a weird motion.
00:05:21.076 --> 00:05:36.047
I know, and I practice, I know there's a way that you're supposed to carry it, where your arm is kind of straight, and it's, your hand is hooked on the side, I like, I've tried so many times, and I don't know if it's just my proportions, I'm a little shorter, I could not get it,
00:05:36.416 --> 00:05:36.656
Yeah.
00:05:36.656 --> 00:05:37.817
I never could get that either.
00:05:38.716 --> 00:05:51.536
it was always, awkward and heavy to carry, um, but those, those are basically, you know, the instructions that I was, I was given an abdominal binder, but how long should I be wearing it?
00:05:51.857 --> 00:05:53.067
How tight should I be wearing it?
00:05:53.067 --> 00:06:24.170
There really wasn't any education around that, or really like what to look for, for signs of infection with the incision or how to take care of the incision there's a lot of information that, that could be given and should be given out to mothers after a C section specifically, but really, you know, after a vaginal birth as well on like what to do, what to expect for, you know, going to the bathroom for the first few times and how to make that easier and, you know, just.
00:06:24.519 --> 00:06:30.800
just simple things that we really take for granted that when you come home with your baby, you're like, okay, and now what?
00:06:31.339 --> 00:06:32.569
And now what do I do?
00:06:33.223 --> 00:06:33.564
Okay.
00:06:33.564 --> 00:06:35.293
So that is amazing.
00:06:35.303 --> 00:06:41.584
I think we all can tell stories about our postpartum and pretty much no one has a story of like, Oh yes.
00:06:41.673 --> 00:06:45.213
And they offer me physical therapy and it was so easy to recover.
00:06:45.213 --> 00:06:56.093
So nobody has that, but specifically, why are we talking about this today on my podcast being that Primarily I focus on weight loss and, and, you know, health and stuff.
00:06:56.093 --> 00:07:12.660
And one of the things Ariel and I wanted to discuss is the bounce back culture, the bounce back culture, which has a lot to do, not just with your physical shape and strength and those kinds of things, but also with your actual scale weight, a lot of my listeners know I have four kids.
00:07:13.019 --> 00:07:16.569
And so I basically was pregnant or nursing for like nine years.
00:07:17.060 --> 00:07:17.629
So.
00:07:18.805 --> 00:07:20.925
Of my 20s, like for most of my 20s.
00:07:20.964 --> 00:07:21.375
Right.
00:07:21.975 --> 00:07:24.295
And I had these like breaks in between.
00:07:24.295 --> 00:07:25.694
I'd have like a year in between.
00:07:25.694 --> 00:07:27.014
I'd have nine months in between.
00:07:27.485 --> 00:07:31.625
And my major thought was like, I've got to get my body back.
00:07:32.404 --> 00:07:33.295
Like, where did it go?
00:07:33.314 --> 00:07:33.834
Did I lose it?
00:07:34.074 --> 00:07:34.404
Like what?
00:07:34.853 --> 00:07:37.223
And I felt a lot of pressure.
00:07:37.684 --> 00:07:42.504
Uh, there was a lot of stories back then, specifically from my mother.
00:07:43.074 --> 00:07:45.403
Um, love her, never want to throw her under the bus.
00:07:45.423 --> 00:07:51.194
But, you know, oh, well, so and so, she wore her pre pregnancy jeans right out of the hospital.
00:07:51.954 --> 00:07:53.713
I, I know who she's talking about.
00:07:53.723 --> 00:07:56.494
She's told me this story a lot of times.
00:07:56.553 --> 00:08:00.793
And, you know, she mentioned how, how long it took her to get back into her jeans.
00:08:00.803 --> 00:08:02.184
All of those kinds of stories.
00:08:02.213 --> 00:08:04.324
And so it was a lot of pressure.
00:08:04.853 --> 00:08:10.624
And then with my last, and I knew she was going to be my last, my youngest, I got pregnant.
00:08:10.644 --> 00:08:15.423
And I was like, okay, This is the last time I can be fat.
00:08:16.324 --> 00:08:19.704
And this painful thought is etched in my brain.
00:08:20.004 --> 00:08:29.303
Even though I know pregnancy is not the same as being overweight, even though I know that what I should have done is really take care of my body.
00:08:29.303 --> 00:08:34.053
But what my brain said is this is the last time you have permission to eat all the cupcakes.
00:08:34.634 --> 00:08:36.404
And not worry that it's going to put on pounds.
00:08:37.205 --> 00:08:47.174
And so I had a lot of, you know, this was well before I found coaching well before I was, um, much healthier in my thoughts about my body and my weight and what I eat.
00:08:47.725 --> 00:08:50.664
And so not only was I.
00:08:50.960 --> 00:09:03.360
Overeating during pregnancy, because I thought I had the permission to, but I also thought I had the permission to not exercise and not do any kind of training to really prepare my body.
00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:15.317
And I know you are primarily in postpartum, but there's gotta be some, some issues there as well with like going into this, you know, major feet, physical feet, which is birth with.
00:09:15.846 --> 00:09:20.067
You know, zero, zero strength basically in my abdominal region.
00:09:20.517 --> 00:09:21.356
So aerial.
00:09:21.778 --> 00:09:24.288
sent me a message and was like, I think I'd be great on your podcast.
00:09:24.308 --> 00:09:31.239
And I'm like, yes, because we have all this like pent up stuff about this bounce back stuff.
00:09:31.239 --> 00:09:38.489
And all of these things that we did not get when we were pregnant and in that postpartum.
00:09:38.499 --> 00:09:41.158
So first of all, I just want to.
00:09:41.714 --> 00:09:47.453
Establish the baseline of is formal recovery needed in postpartum.
00:09:47.673 --> 00:09:50.943
Is it true that we're just like, Oh, it's natural.
00:09:50.943 --> 00:09:55.004
So everybody recovers normally there, you know, we don't really need anything formal.
00:09:55.004 --> 00:09:57.943
That's, that's what everybody believes, but what do you believe?
00:09:58.649 --> 00:09:59.028
Right.
00:09:59.038 --> 00:10:07.438
No, I, I believe that everybody needs formal recovery, at least to some extent after having a baby.
00:10:07.589 --> 00:10:17.009
Um, yes, it is a natural process and there are natural changes that occur, but they do not always just bounce back together.
00:10:17.369 --> 00:10:25.408
Um, You know, we can look at a sprained ankle, you're running and you twist your ankle, sure that happens naturally as well, right?
00:10:25.719 --> 00:10:30.599
And there's a natural process with inflammation and all of that, that kind of helps to mend it a little bit.
00:10:30.869 --> 00:10:36.749
And you could, depending on the degree of the sprain and all that, you could potentially not do anything about it.
00:10:36.989 --> 00:10:40.278
I know a lot of people that don't do anything about it, right?
00:10:40.298 --> 00:10:42.889
They are told to just walk it off and they let it go, whatever.
00:10:43.428 --> 00:10:44.019
And.
00:10:44.499 --> 00:10:50.499
The ankle heals, but it doesn't heal the way that it did or the way that it was before, right?
00:10:50.509 --> 00:10:58.729
There, there's going to be limitations and restrictions in that foot and ankle if you don't rehab it properly afterwards.
00:10:59.068 --> 00:11:02.599
And it's the same with our pelvis and our body after childbirth.
00:11:02.938 --> 00:11:05.133
So do things go back together?
00:11:05.323 --> 00:11:06.923
Yes, not always.
00:11:06.933 --> 00:11:35.278
Sometimes the pelvis itself doesn't go back into that pre pregnancy positioning without assistance after having a baby, and it could be because of, you know, just the, um, you know, the ligament laxity and, the positioning that it needs to be in to hold the baby, and then as the baby is delivering, our pelvis kind of shifts again, and the, um, You know, the lower portion of the pelvis kind of wings outward to make room for the baby to pass through.
00:11:35.639 --> 00:11:39.024
Uh, that can sometimes Kind of get stuck there.
00:11:39.063 --> 00:12:03.028
Usually it goes back together, but it doesn't for everyone and the same with the sacrum the flat bone In the back of the pelvis like where your tailbone is Um that tends to kind of go into flexion So it tips forward so that that tailbone piece is kind of pointing out towards your backside Again to make room for the baby's head and body to go through and usually again It kind of goes back into place, but it doesn't always go back into place.
00:12:03.479 --> 00:12:10.009
And it can kind of get stuck in that forward position, which can lead to a lot of pain and discomfort when you're sitting.
00:12:10.009 --> 00:12:22.308
It can lead to issues with, um, bowel and bladder, um, whether it, you know, be a constipation because you're not able to kind of fully empty or, you know, allow your, your bowel movement to pass.
00:12:22.769 --> 00:12:27.448
so I, I would say that, yes, everybody needs some type of recovery.
00:12:27.754 --> 00:12:36.874
After having a baby, definitely if there was a cesarean, birth that had to occur because again, that is a major abdominal surgery that happens.
00:12:37.224 --> 00:12:42.964
So it absolutely needs to be recovered and, and be really treated and kind of honored as such.
00:12:42.964 --> 00:12:47.553
We kind of just brush it off as like, Oh, well, you know, we just, just had a baby.
00:12:47.583 --> 00:12:49.224
Uh, it's just another way of doing it.
00:12:49.604 --> 00:12:58.413
It's almost so routine now that it is, I mean, it is the most common, most common surgical procedure in our hospitals today.
00:12:58.663 --> 00:13:00.433
so it is very routine.
00:13:00.514 --> 00:13:06.894
but because of that, it doesn't really get the attention that it really deserves for the care afterwards.
00:13:07.354 --> 00:13:09.094
On some of those things, I'm.
00:13:09.578 --> 00:13:20.009
Hearing some of myself in, in those issues you're describing and I'm 15 years postpartum almost 16, she's about to turn 16.
00:13:20.019 --> 00:13:22.788
My youngest is, is it ever too late?
00:13:23.933 --> 00:13:24.484
no.
00:13:25.114 --> 00:13:32.293
So It's ideally, it's always better to happen sooner rather than later because the recovery process.
00:13:33.038 --> 00:13:36.089
will be quicker, the closer to the event.
00:13:36.428 --> 00:13:39.359
Um, but it's, it's, it is never too late.
00:13:39.369 --> 00:13:49.359
You can go back, especially if you're having any type of issues, which a lot of times women do, you know, it's so common to have urinary incontinence.
00:13:49.389 --> 00:13:53.288
If you're laughing or sneezing to just, pee a little bit.
00:13:53.759 --> 00:13:57.458
And again, it's one of those things that's, it's so common that it's normalized.
00:13:57.489 --> 00:14:00.428
And because it's normalized, people don't do anything about it.
00:14:00.438 --> 00:14:04.288
They just kind of laugh it off and be like, Oh, you know, mom life.
00:14:04.298 --> 00:14:06.068
Well, we laugh it off with our legs crossed.
00:14:07.078 --> 00:14:07.818
Exactly.
00:14:08.099 --> 00:14:21.918
but yeah, because it, it's, it's normalized and a lot of, you know, it is so common, I believe because we are neglecting that postpartum care that our bodies really deserve afterwards or to the point of bounce back culture.
00:14:21.928 --> 00:14:22.719
We're trying to.
00:14:23.038 --> 00:14:43.469
To get back or, you know, into either the activity that we were doing prior to that we really enjoyed for our own sanity or to get our body back, um, and rushing into exercises that we're not really prepared for, and that can cause issues, down the road, but no, it's, it's definitely not too late.
00:14:43.803 --> 00:14:50.214
Yeah, I, I have a few spots in my body that I just know, like, and I'm like, well, that's from childbirth.
00:14:50.234 --> 00:15:01.083
Like I was doing these plate adduction things where basically, you know, you're bringing a plate in on the, the plates on the floor and you're pulling it in with your foot.
00:15:01.104 --> 00:15:03.214
And so it's an adduction movement.
00:15:04.803 --> 00:15:18.683
Every time I do that or any of those things, I feel it in the pubic symphysis, which is the, the little pad in the middle of the, well, you can explain it better, but it's in the front of the pelvis and it really gets soft.
00:15:19.063 --> 00:15:20.634
So that it spreads apart there.
00:15:20.644 --> 00:15:25.474
And I feel like somehow that piece never really healed, right.
00:15:25.474 --> 00:15:35.344
Because I can feel it in the, and it's like, I can't, I can't do a heavy enough weight to feel it in my adductors and my thighs because it kind of hurts that little spot.
00:15:35.374 --> 00:15:47.354
And then I have this other, like, I've been told it's called the round ligament and it, um, and it hurts every time I like do a certain cough movement or, you know, if I cough or, and I'm like.
00:15:47.894 --> 00:15:55.524
I, and I remember because it, I first noticed it after childbirth and I asked my doctor and they're like, Oh yeah, you know, that's from pregnancy.
00:15:55.543 --> 00:15:58.224
And I'm like, okay, but it's been 16 years.
00:15:58.979 --> 00:15:59.269
Yeah.
00:16:00.029 --> 00:16:00.269
Yeah.
00:16:00.269 --> 00:16:01.889
Just like the, you just have to deal with it.
00:16:01.889 --> 00:16:02.159
Yes.
00:16:02.164 --> 00:16:02.610
But yeah.
00:16:02.610 --> 00:16:12.419
So with your pubic synthesis specifically, it could, it, you know, there's a chance that it is still wider, that it never like, closed up like it should, or if it shifted at all.
00:16:12.419 --> 00:16:21.450
So sometimes what happens is, you know, one half of the pelvis, depending on the positions that you gave birth, you can have one side of your pelvis kind of shift up higher than the other.
00:16:21.450 --> 00:16:23.879
So there might be some more separation that way too.
00:16:24.500 --> 00:16:24.879
Yeah.
00:16:24.899 --> 00:16:26.370
So don't ignore this stuff.
00:16:26.370 --> 00:16:31.690
I know I've been talking a lot on the podcast about don't not ignoring our, um, perimenopause symptoms.
00:16:31.690 --> 00:16:33.110
And now I'm like back to childbirth.
00:16:33.110 --> 00:16:37.190
I'm all over the place, but I mean, as women, this is, this is how it is.
00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:41.789
There's, there's issues from childbirth and then you just really get right into your hormonal issues.
00:16:42.835 --> 00:16:56.804
I was gonna say it's it's all related and if we're used to just kind of brushing those things under the rug and being like, Oh, well, you know, those first few weeks or, or months or a year or so after having a baby, my hormones are going to be all over the place.
00:16:56.894 --> 00:17:10.794
And we just kind of, we normalize that we normalize these like big mood swings, because we think that Again, that it's just normal and it's going to happen, uh, but it doesn't need to happen, you know, to the extent that we're, we're feeling it.
00:17:11.743 --> 00:17:12.124
Yeah.
00:17:12.794 --> 00:17:19.544
So why do you think that new moms have this, like, feeling like they have to, like, they must get their bodies back postpartum?
00:17:20.044 --> 00:17:23.753
And is, is that an issue to be thinking that?
00:17:24.690 --> 00:17:27.920
So I, I think it's kind of twofold.
00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:31.720
One, I think we have a lot of society pressure on us.
00:17:32.109 --> 00:17:37.039
Um, that's very, um, kind of over and covert at the same time.
00:17:37.049 --> 00:17:39.920
Like there's, there's certain messaging out there that is just.
00:17:41.134 --> 00:18:00.484
Very obvious, tons of marketing towards getting your body back after baby, lots of, you know, dieting to do even a lot of, you know, I see talk of healing your diastasis, um, the separation of your abdominal muscles and healing your pelvic floor after baby in relation to getting your body back.
00:18:01.500 --> 00:18:01.809
Right.
00:18:01.819 --> 00:18:09.349
To the shape of your body, not to the health of your body, but like, get this back so that you can get back into your jeans or look
00:18:09.615 --> 00:18:09.855
yeah.
00:18:09.914 --> 00:18:12.035
Get rid of your mom belly and yep.
00:18:12.984 --> 00:18:16.765
so there's, there's a lot of that that we're getting and there's also.
00:18:17.144 --> 00:18:31.974
You know, you get six weeks, and if you're lucky, you get maybe 12 weeks of time off, uh, and then you're expected to kind of just be back at work and, you know, just kind of bounce back into your, your roles.
00:18:32.255 --> 00:18:46.714
With your relationships change after having a baby, and there's really no time or space that we allow for that to kind of develop or for us to kind of look in, in words to it and kind of see and allow shifts to happen.
00:18:46.714 --> 00:18:54.079
But we're expected that, you know, our relationship with our partner is just Exactly like it was before, but now there's this baby in there.
00:18:54.089 --> 00:19:03.980
Or if you have multiple kids, you know, your relationships are constantly adjusting between, you know, you and, and all of your children making room for this new baby that's coming in.
00:19:03.990 --> 00:19:06.240
And we don't really allow for that.
00:19:06.240 --> 00:19:07.339
We don't talk about that.
00:19:07.339 --> 00:19:14.799
It's just kind of like, okay, you have this baby, you go home and everything is going to be great and wonderful and good luck.
00:19:15.250 --> 00:19:17.710
but I think, you know, there's also.
00:19:18.164 --> 00:19:25.690
I feel like because the transition into motherhood is such This big abrupt transition.
00:19:26.019 --> 00:19:33.589
you know, hormonally, our, our roles are changing as well, and, you know, physically we're having a lot of changes.
00:19:33.589 --> 00:19:38.589
Our brain changes, after having a baby, and it all happens like very quickly.
00:19:38.869 --> 00:19:45.380
and the, the hormone shifts are, you know, the greatest that we experience in the shortest amount of time.
00:19:46.025 --> 00:19:51.974
As women so, you know, puberty and menopause being the other really big shifts, but they're a little bit more.
00:19:52.384 --> 00:20:03.404
Yeah, they're more gradual as opposed to like you have the baby and it's this abrupt change, even you know pregnancy or hormones are shifting but again it's kind of gradually over that, you know, nine to 10 month period.
00:20:03.460 --> 00:20:03.740
Mm hmm.
00:20:04.009 --> 00:20:04.579
That makes sense.
00:20:04.990 --> 00:20:06.099
I've never thought about that.
00:20:06.109 --> 00:20:06.900
Like that.
00:20:07.430 --> 00:20:07.640
Yeah.
00:20:07.640 --> 00:20:10.710
All of our other hormone changes really occur over time, but
00:20:10.950 --> 00:20:11.539
Yes.
00:20:11.549 --> 00:20:14.140
So we're, we're like slowly adjusting to them.
00:20:14.140 --> 00:20:16.720
I mean, they can, they're, they're
00:20:16.859 --> 00:20:17.730
it's still hard.
00:20:17.799 --> 00:20:18.319
well.
00:20:18.329 --> 00:20:19.849
But yeah, so it's still hard.
00:20:19.849 --> 00:20:20.490
It's still impactful.
00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:22.710
You need to make adjustments and kind of change.
00:20:23.099 --> 00:20:32.880
but I feel like, you know, with motherhood, there's, you know, the physical and the hormonal changes, but then our role changes as well and how we're identifying ourself changes.
00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:42.119
And it's, it's a lot at once, and I feel like it's harder to kind of pinpoint your, your role change and your, how you're identifying yourself.
00:20:42.150 --> 00:20:50.309
And it's easier to kind of put all of that onto something physical that you can see, and it's kind of our body that takes the brunt of it.
00:20:50.349 --> 00:20:52.910
Like, I'm not feeling like myself.
00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:54.480
I'm feeling a little bit lost.
00:20:54.480 --> 00:20:56.039
I'm feeling disconnected.
00:20:56.039 --> 00:20:58.170
Like, oh, it's because my body.
00:20:58.529 --> 00:21:49.960
Is squishy now, you know, and I had the baby in there, but now it's all squishy And I just want it to be back to normal in quotes Because once that happens then i'm going to feel good once that happens then i'm going to feel confident You know once that happens then I can do xyz or my relationship with my partner is going to be great again And it's not really the case um, because there's a lot of kind of inner work and digging that we need to do to really Allow ourselves to develop into that role as mother as well as still seeing ourself as a whole person which is really important because we can kind of Narrow in on like now i'm a mom and that is that's like everything blinders on but we really have to account for, you know, for all of us, our, our whole being, um,
00:21:50.190 --> 00:21:50.539
I can,
00:21:50.750 --> 00:21:52.400
at, at that role adjusting.
00:21:53.509 --> 00:22:03.480
I can see how to, like when you're describing that thinking how, you know, basically everything will be different when my body goes back to.
00:22:03.950 --> 00:22:08.039
Again, we're putting a lot of things in air quotes here, meaning normal, right?
00:00:00.010 --> 00:00:02.020
00:00:02.080 --> 00:00:09.009
00:00:09.759 --> 00:00:13.390
00:00:13.990 --> 00:00:23.620
00:00:24.100 --> 00:00:26.800
00:00:26.829 --> 00:00:33.850
00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:36.130
00:00:36.700 --> 00:00:38.079
00:00:38.079 --> 00:00:48.070
00:00:48.310 --> 00:00:53.679
00:00:53.710 --> 00:00:54.729
00:00:54.759 --> 00:00:57.789
00:01:01.582 --> 00:01:08.483
00:01:09.112 --> 00:01:10.673
00:01:11.063 --> 00:01:16.722
00:01:17.332 --> 00:01:23.272
00:01:25.918 --> 00:01:28.418
00:01:28.698 --> 00:01:30.799
00:01:30.808 --> 00:01:35.168
00:01:35.168 --> 00:01:35.968
00:01:36.888 --> 00:01:37.789
00:01:38.659 --> 00:01:43.879
00:01:44.349 --> 00:01:51.459
00:01:52.948 --> 00:01:53.698
00:01:53.698 --> 00:01:55.618
00:01:55.659 --> 00:02:02.679
00:02:02.728 --> 00:02:06.519
00:02:06.909 --> 00:02:11.438
00:02:11.489 --> 00:02:13.769
00:02:14.239 --> 00:02:20.449
00:02:20.808 --> 00:02:37.808
00:02:38.258 --> 00:02:49.614
00:02:49.764 --> 00:02:56.683
00:02:56.683 --> 00:03:00.304
00:03:00.963 --> 00:03:25.372
00:03:25.753 --> 00:03:30.424
00:03:31.084 --> 00:03:32.913
00:03:32.913 --> 00:03:42.520
00:03:43.444 --> 00:03:48.365
00:03:48.365 --> 00:03:50.354
00:03:50.354 --> 00:03:52.854
00:03:52.895 --> 00:03:55.544
00:03:56.245 --> 00:04:03.414
00:04:03.905 --> 00:04:05.625
00:04:06.074 --> 00:04:10.284
00:04:10.974 --> 00:04:19.584
00:04:19.954 --> 00:04:27.586
00:04:27.586 --> 00:04:35.107
00:04:35.560 --> 00:04:39.290
00:04:39.899 --> 00:04:41.410
00:04:41.420 --> 00:04:42.416
00:04:42.416 --> 00:04:43.096
00:04:43.107 --> 00:04:43.867
00:04:44.817 --> 00:04:59.067
00:04:59.067 --> 00:05:00.836
00:05:01.177 --> 00:05:04.797
00:05:04.817 --> 00:05:10.076
00:05:10.076 --> 00:05:15.817
00:05:15.937 --> 00:05:17.406
00:05:17.406 --> 00:05:18.716
00:05:18.726 --> 00:05:20.396
00:05:21.076 --> 00:05:36.047
00:05:36.416 --> 00:05:36.656
00:05:36.656 --> 00:05:37.817
00:05:38.716 --> 00:05:51.536
00:05:51.857 --> 00:05:53.067
00:05:53.067 --> 00:06:24.170
00:06:24.519 --> 00:06:30.800
00:06:31.339 --> 00:06:32.569
00:06:33.223 --> 00:06:33.564
00:06:33.564 --> 00:06:35.293
00:06:35.303 --> 00:06:41.584
00:06:41.673 --> 00:06:45.213
00:06:45.213 --> 00:06:56.093
00:06:56.093 --> 00:07:12.660
00:07:13.019 --> 00:07:16.569
00:07:17.060 --> 00:07:17.629
00:07:18.805 --> 00:07:20.925
00:07:20.964 --> 00:07:21.375
00:07:21.975 --> 00:07:24.295
00:07:24.295 --> 00:07:25.694
00:07:25.694 --> 00:07:27.014
00:07:27.485 --> 00:07:31.625
00:07:32.404 --> 00:07:33.295
00:07:33.314 --> 00:07:33.834
00:07:34.074 --> 00:07:34.404
00:07:34.853 --> 00:07:37.223
00:07:37.684 --> 00:07:42.504
00:07:43.074 --> 00:07:45.403
00:07:45.423 --> 00:07:51.194
00:07:51.954 --> 00:07:53.713
00:07:53.723 --> 00:07:56.494
00:07:56.553 --> 00:08:00.793
00:08:00.803 --> 00:08:02.184
00:08:02.213 --> 00:08:04.324
00:08:04.853 --> 00:08:10.624
00:08:10.644 --> 00:08:15.423
00:08:16.324 --> 00:08:19.704
00:08:20.004 --> 00:08:29.303
00:08:29.303 --> 00:08:34.053
00:08:34.634 --> 00:08:36.404
00:08:37.205 --> 00:08:47.174
00:08:47.725 --> 00:08:50.664
00:08:50.960 --> 00:09:03.360
00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:15.317
00:09:15.846 --> 00:09:20.067
00:09:20.517 --> 00:09:21.356
00:09:21.778 --> 00:09:24.288
00:09:24.308 --> 00:09:31.239
00:09:31.239 --> 00:09:38.489
00:09:38.499 --> 00:09:41.158
00:09:41.714 --> 00:09:47.453
00:09:47.673 --> 00:09:50.943
00:09:50.943 --> 00:09:55.004
00:09:55.004 --> 00:09:57.943
00:09:58.649 --> 00:09:59.028
00:09:59.038 --> 00:10:07.438
00:10:07.589 --> 00:10:17.009
00:10:17.369 --> 00:10:25.408
00:10:25.719 --> 00:10:30.599
00:10:30.869 --> 00:10:36.749
00:10:36.989 --> 00:10:40.278
00:10:40.298 --> 00:10:42.889
00:10:43.428 --> 00:10:44.019
00:10:44.499 --> 00:10:50.499
00:10:50.509 --> 00:10:58.729
00:10:59.068 --> 00:11:02.599
00:11:02.938 --> 00:11:05.133
00:11:05.323 --> 00:11:06.923
00:11:06.933 --> 00:11:35.278
00:11:35.639 --> 00:11:39.024
00:11:39.063 --> 00:12:03.028
00:12:03.479 --> 00:12:10.009
00:12:10.009 --> 00:12:22.308
00:12:22.769 --> 00:12:27.448
00:12:27.754 --> 00:12:36.874
00:12:37.224 --> 00:12:42.964
00:12:42.964 --> 00:12:47.553
00:12:47.583 --> 00:12:49.224
00:12:49.604 --> 00:12:58.413
00:12:58.663 --> 00:13:00.433
00:13:00.514 --> 00:13:06.894
00:13:07.354 --> 00:13:09.094
00:13:09.578 --> 00:13:20.009
00:13:20.019 --> 00:13:22.788
00:13:23.933 --> 00:13:24.484
00:13:25.114 --> 00:13:32.293
00:13:33.038 --> 00:13:36.089
00:13:36.428 --> 00:13:39.359
00:13:39.369 --> 00:13:49.359
00:13:49.389 --> 00:13:53.288
00:13:53.759 --> 00:13:57.458
00:13:57.489 --> 00:14:00.428
00:14:00.438 --> 00:14:04.288
00:14:04.298 --> 00:14:06.068
00:14:07.078 --> 00:14:07.818
00:14:08.099 --> 00:14:21.918
00:14:21.928 --> 00:14:22.719
00:14:23.038 --> 00:14:43.469
00:14:43.803 --> 00:14:50.214
00:14:50.234 --> 00:15:01.083
00:15:01.104 --> 00:15:03.214
00:15:04.803 --> 00:15:18.683
00:15:19.063 --> 00:15:20.634
00:15:20.644 --> 00:15:25.474
00:15:25.474 --> 00:15:35.344
00:15:35.374 --> 00:15:47.354
00:15:47.894 --> 00:15:55.524
00:15:55.543 --> 00:15:58.224
00:15:58.979 --> 00:15:59.269
00:16:00.029 --> 00:16:00.269
00:16:00.269 --> 00:16:01.889
00:16:01.889 --> 00:16:02.159
00:16:02.164 --> 00:16:02.610
00:16:02.610 --> 00:16:12.419
00:16:12.419 --> 00:16:21.450
00:16:21.450 --> 00:16:23.879
00:16:24.500 --> 00:16:24.879
00:16:24.899 --> 00:16:26.370
00:16:26.370 --> 00:16:31.690
00:16:31.690 --> 00:16:33.110
00:16:33.110 --> 00:16:37.190
00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:41.789
00:16:42.835 --> 00:16:56.804
00:16:56.894 --> 00:17:10.794
00:17:11.743 --> 00:17:12.124
00:17:12.794 --> 00:17:19.544
00:17:20.044 --> 00:17:23.753
00:17:24.690 --> 00:17:27.920
00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:31.720
00:17:32.109 --> 00:17:37.039
00:17:37.049 --> 00:17:39.920
00:17:41.134 --> 00:18:00.484
00:18:01.500 --> 00:18:01.809
00:18:01.819 --> 00:18:09.349
00:18:09.615 --> 00:18:09.855
00:18:09.914 --> 00:18:12.035
00:18:12.984 --> 00:18:16.765
00:18:17.144 --> 00:18:31.974
00:18:32.255 --> 00:18:46.714
00:18:46.714 --> 00:18:54.079
00:18:54.089 --> 00:19:03.980
00:19:03.990 --> 00:19:06.240
00:19:06.240 --> 00:19:07.339
00:19:07.339 --> 00:19:14.799
00:19:15.250 --> 00:19:17.710
00:19:18.164 --> 00:19:25.690
00:19:26.019 --> 00:19:33.589
00:19:33.589 --> 00:19:38.589
00:19:38.869 --> 00:19:45.380
00:19:46.025 --> 00:19:51.974
00:19:52.384 --> 00:20:03.404
00:20:03.460 --> 00:20:03.740
00:20:04.009 --> 00:20:04.579
00:20:04.990 --> 00:20:06.099
00:20:06.109 --> 00:20:06.900
00:20:07.430 --> 00:20:07.640
00:20:07.640 --> 00:20:10.710
00:20:10.950 --> 00:20:11.539
00:20:11.549 --> 00:20:14.140
00:20:14.140 --> 00:20:16.720
00:20:16.859 --> 00:20:17.730
00:20:17.799 --> 00:20:18.319
00:20:18.329 --> 00:20:19.849
00:20:19.849 --> 00:20:20.490
00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:22.710
00:20:23.099 --> 00:20:32.880
00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:42.119
00:20:42.150 --> 00:20:50.309
00:20:50.349 --> 00:20:52.910
00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:54.480
00:20:54.480 --> 00:20:56.039
00:20:56.039 --> 00:20:58.170
00:20:58.529 --> 00:21:49.960
00:21:50.190 --> 00:21:50.539
00:21:50.750 --> 00:21:52.400
00:21:53.509 --> 00:22:03.480
00:22:03.950 --> 00:22:08.039