Dec. 7, 2022

Anxiety in Weight Loss with Angela Adams [Ep. 20]

Anxiety in Weight Loss with Angela Adams [Ep. 20]
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Think Well

Anxiety is common in life but particularly for my clients when they are trying to lose weight.  We get distorted thought patterns, and we don't know how to get out of them. My guest Angela Adams is an expert coach on all things anxiety and she is helping us through these thoughts--giving us three ways to overcome them. These are strategies you can implement this week.  

Key takeaways:

  • What exactly is anxiety? How is it different from worry? 
  • Why do we feel it so often?
  • What are the main distorted thought patterns that happen when trying to lose weight?
  • Three strategies to help you overcome your anxious thoughts!

A note on mental health: We are discussing everyday sort of worry and anxiety. If you are experiencing clinical anxiety and/or panic attacks, please seek medical advice. Coaching can be done (and can be quite helpful as Angela discusses in her life) in conjunction with other modalities, under the direction of a licensed therapist. 

Angela's Bio:
I am a wife, (married to my sweetheart for 35 years), a mother of four, and grandmother of four, and a Certified Life Coach, coaching those who want to put a pause on their anxiety and learn how to understand it, manage it and even embrace it so they can love thier life and thrive.  I am passionate about helping others become emotinally resilient.   I have a BS Degree in Marriage and Family studies from BYU-Idaho and have worked as a Family Resource Coordinator through First Things First Arizona and Peoria Unified School District  working with parents and families  with the goal of helping them learn the skills they need to be successful in school and life.

Where to find Angela Adams:

More from Well with Lisa:

More from Well with Lisa:

Transcript
WEBVTT

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Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food.

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I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury.

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I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter.

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I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating.

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Welcome to episode 20 here on the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well podcast where we are going to be chatting about anxiety, what it is, why does it come up during weight loss and some strategies to help you overcome it?

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I know we have anxiety for a lot of reasons in weight loss.

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And in life.

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But when we're thinking about weight loss and health, the biggest one, I think is the question, will this work for me?

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And we get really nervous and anxious about this.

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We also have it come up with our distorted thought patterns, which we will be getting into some examples here as well.

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And you might be surprised to hear some of your thoughts in those My guest is Angela Adams, who is a life coach specializing in coaching, on anxiety.

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So she is the perfect one to really carry us through this topic.

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So let's dive in.

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Welcome Angela, to the podcast.

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I'm gonna let her go ahead and introduce herself right off the bat, and then we'll jump into our conversation.

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Sounds great.

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Thank you, Lisa, for having me on your podcast.

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My name is Angela Adams.

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I am a certified life coach and I really focus on coaching those who.

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Want to enjoy their life and thrive despite dealing with anxiety.

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And we all deal with anxiety, right?

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But I have dealt with it since, I think my earliest recollection was about 10 years old.

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And so I've been dealing with chronic anxiety for years and years and years, and I wanted to get rid of it.

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I wanted to find a cure for it.

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I just didn't like having it and I realized that there are things that I can do to manage it and I realized that my anxiety, the anxiety I was dealing with does not define who.

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I am so much more and that I can actually really thrive, really love my life, despite dealing with anxiety and through coaching and other tools that I have found along the way, I have found that I can actually even embrace my anxiety.

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So I like to help people put a pause on their anxiety and to.

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That their anxiety does not define who they are.

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They are so much more.

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Okay.

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That is so amazing.

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I think anxiety is something that a lot of us deal with.

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If you could kind of just start with maybe some definitions and the reason.

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It seems like, well, everyone knows what it is, but I was actually just having this conversation with my, one of my teenage daughters like two days ago.

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She was like, I mean, I worry, I don't know, is that anxiety?

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Like she was talking about, especially, she worries about what people think of her appearance and she's sick right now.

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And so like, she has that like redness under her nose and so she's very self-conscious of that.

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So she was like, Is that what anxiety is like?

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How would you define what's the difference really between anxiety and just kind of regular garden variety Worry.

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Okay.

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Well, it depends there's chronic anxiety where those that have general anxiety disorder have that gnawing feeling a lot of distorted thinking goes into anxiety and there's the worry and there's not a lot of difference in my opinion between worry and anxiety.

00:04:04.918 --> 00:04:09.957
I think anxiety right now has been such a buzzword in Right

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I'm like, let's, let's not all have anxiety, but

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Anxiety.

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Anxiety, but and we all do.

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We always have anxiety.

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And anxiety isn't always bad.

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We think that anxiety is bad.

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But if you think about it, when you are doing something new for the very first time, don't you feel a little bit of that nervousness in your stomach, that anxiety

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Yeah, sure.

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You know, we just don't know.

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We don't know what to expect, and there is that little bit of anxiety and sometimes even if we're doing something that we're looking forward to, we can still have a little bit of anxiety because of the unknown.

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Chronic anxiety is when it is debilitating when it just keeps you from being able to do.

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You know, your normal day to day, it's constantly having those thought distortions.

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and I think Chronic anxiety is something that just keeps you stuck.

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Mm.

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Okay.

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Keeps you stuck where, you know, and, and as a teenager of course we're gonna worry about, you know, what are they gonna think?

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I've got this, you know, whatever.

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But anxiety is when it is just overpowering,

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Okay, so like maybe if it kept her from going to school or something like that, then we would have more of an anxiety disorder.

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Currently she's kind of experiencing something that's like natural, normal, anxiety, normal worry.

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Right, right.

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You know, there's so many different anxieties out there.

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There's social anxiety there's childhood separation anxiety, which is such a real, real thing.

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In fact, Steve Young, he was in his thirties when he was finally diagnos.

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with severe childhood, separation anxiety.

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Really, and that continued to affect him into adulthood.

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it did.

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Until he found he, he actually was able to put a name on it.

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He knew that something wasn't right, and, yet here he is, how many multiple MVPs?

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He won multiple Super Bowls and he just, he plowed through it.

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but it got to a point where he actually sought out help, realized there was something wrong, and now he's a spokesman and advocate for mental health, which is great.

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Interesting.

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it is very interesting.

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So anxiety can keep us stuck.

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But he plowed through it, but he still

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but he felt stuck in his brain still.

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He was like, Why can't I move past this thought?

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Right.

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Or past, whatever's happening, he just didn't understand it.

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Hmm.

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So it sounds like we have.

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Like you said, regular type worry.

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Typical, you know, wondering, It's kind of more of a wondering, wondering what other people think.

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Wondering if this is gonna be a problem, but then we have actual anxiety that is likely caused by some distorted thought patterns.

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Yes.

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right?

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Yes.

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Yes,

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So when it comes to, for example, health and weight loss, which is what we mostly talk about on this podcast and just creating healthy habits, how does anxiety play a role here?

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What kinds of distorted thought patterns do you feel like you see when people are trying to make changes to their health?

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I see so many one of them is all or nothing thinking, I mean, how many times, and you probably have had clients where, you know, they put themselves on this all or nothing, diet.

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Right,

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either on or you're off.

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Yes.

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And the minute you cross that line, then oh my goodness, I failed.

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Right?

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I've just failed.

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And then it bleeds into other distorted.

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I'm never going to do this.

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This is too hard But it's all or nothing.

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If I'm not all in, if I tell myself I can't eat any c.

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Period.

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And then I eat a piece of chocolate, Boom, I just failed.

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Mm-hmm.

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And there's that all or nothing.

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It's, I'll never get this right.

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The most common words that we use in all or nothing thinking is never and always,

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Yes.

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never and always.

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And those are the worst words that create that, all or nothing, and people call it black and white thinking.

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A lot of perfectionism and shame are associated with all or nothing thinking,

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and then when you do go off, so you're like, you're not on, so now you're off the diet.

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Then I call that might as well eats, Well I already ate this so I might as well have all the other things that were previously considered off limits.

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Right.

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Right.

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And then your mind just starts going and dwelling on all those negatives.

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Right.

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Well, I'm never gonna, you know, I'm not gonna be able to do this.

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Taking that negative detail, taking that, just that little, you know, Oh, I.

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I went off my plan here and totally focusing on that.

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Totally focusing on that, like you said, then that leads to more negativity, more eating.

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So it's dwelling on the negative, and then what our brains love to do is discount the positive.

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totally.

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though we know, Yeah, like we know that our emotional life generally is 50 50, we.

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About half positive and about half negative emotions, not on a daily basis, but when you're looking at like a total year or a span of time where it's about 50 50.

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But because the brain loves to overemphasize the negative, because positive emotions don't kill us.

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So clearly the negative emotion is more important to the brain, and so.

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Would you say with anxiety, this is actually increased then this natural overemphasis of the negative in order to keep us alive, which that's worked well for us for thousands and thousands of years, as humans, but then we definitely discount the positive.

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Oh, totally discount the positive.

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Always looking for proof, looking for that negative proof.

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You know, I don't know about you, but when I'm down on this dwelling on the negative spiral, you know, our brain is obviously going to show us proof.

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You know, well look at that.

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Last time you tried doing this, you did this, and you're never going to, you're never gonna be able to lose weight.

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You're never going to be healthy.

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You're never gonna be able to give up sugar.

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You're never gonna be able to do all these things that you know, you know that you want to do.

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But dwelling on the negative, I think is, you know, we forget to look for the positives.

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And one of the things that I like to work with my clients especially when they're stuck in dwelling on the all or nothing thinking or dwelling on the negative is.

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To give yourself three wins and every day I have even a little sticky note on my mirror in my bathroom and three wins.

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What are the three wins?

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What are my three positives for the day?

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You, can I say my three wins for the day?

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Other people?

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What are three positive things for the day?

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Or what are three things that I like that I did today?

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Mm.

00:11:47.470 --> 00:11:47.960
Okay.

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And start training my brain on those positives because when you, we start retraining our brain to look for those positive, when we get into the habit of every day, Oh, by the end of the day I need to name

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three things,

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have three things.

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So what are we going to do?

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We're going to be looking for those things during the day.

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Right.

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Mm.

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Mm-hmm.

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so when we start looking for the positive, we stopped dwelling on the negative.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Because your brain loves, like every time you go to make a change, I always tell my clients, Don't worry.

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Your brain is gonna be like, Oh, you're adorable.

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Let me show you all the ways in the past that you have failed.

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Starting, starting to exercise, like you think you're gonna start walking every day.

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let me, let me show you why that will not work for you, because here's all the, all the ways you failed in the past.

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And so it's so natural.

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But it's quite a bit more effort to look in the past for the times that we have succeeded or just looking in the past of just your day.

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The past can be years ago, but it also can just be this morning.

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That's also the past.

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Right.

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And you know, and I love having it on my bathroom mirror because how many times do we go into the bathroom every day?

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Right?

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So there it is.

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So that's a constant reminder.

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Now I give myself at least three things, but I have found that I'm finding more and more

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The more you focus

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the more I

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that

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on it.

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But what's really interesting.

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As you were talking it, it reminded me the other day I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and she is trying to break a not so healthy habit and she has been struggling with smoking

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Okay.

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and she's told me, you know, I got myself down to one pack a day and I said, That's great.

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I said, Well, how many cigarettes are in a pack?

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And she said, 12.

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I said, Okay.

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And she said, And for two weeks I'm down to two, but I'm still not there.

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And she was dwelling So, On those two cigarettes she was having a day

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mm-hmm.

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that she forgot, she discounted the fact that, oh my goodness, she is 10 cigarettes closer to reaching that goal of quitting altogether.

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So in our brain, does that right?

00:14:16.438 --> 00:14:18.089
Oh, but look, but look, Yes.

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Nevermind that you've given up 10.

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Mm-hmm.

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You still have two.

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And I was talking to her and I said, But what about those 10?

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What about the 10 you gave up?

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And, and it was just really interesting to see this light bulb go on and.

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Well, yeah, I said, isn't it funny your brain just wants you to just to, Just to nitpick.

00:14:39.923 --> 00:14:40.494
Nitpick.

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And it's just like eating.

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It's just, you know, I love chocolate.

00:14:44.813 --> 00:14:46.974
And Halloween was right around the corner, right?

00:14:46.974 --> 00:14:50.509
So three days ago I had three of those bite size Snicker bars.

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They were so good.

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And at the end of the day I thought, Okay, so tomorrow I'm gonna try just having one,

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Mm-hmm.

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and I ended up having two I thought, Okay, I had two.

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All right.

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Wasn't quite the goal I wanted, but hey, I didn't have three.

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Right?

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So now I'm just one more closer.

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Yeah.

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So, just trying to shift those little mental shifts in training our brains to see the positive.

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When, when I start a session with a client as I'm one-on-one coaching with them, my first question to them is always what went well this week?

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I love.

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after a few weeks they're like, Okay, I knew you were gonna ask me this.

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And I really tried to think of something because they want to come and be like, This is how many times I like eight, three Snickers bars, or whatever it was.

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Or, you know, I.

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Didn't get all the movement in that I wanted to, or I didn't do those worksheets that you told me to.

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Whatever it is, they're like feeling bad, and so I never say like, Okay, what was challenging this week?

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That's never how we start.

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We always find at least two or three things that went really well.

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And sometimes they're even surprised because if they say nothing, I'm like, Oh no, we're not moving on until we discover some things.

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And there's always something.

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There's always something just like that.

00:16:18.782 --> 00:16:23.051
Well, well, I wanted three and I had two that that went well.

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That was, that was a win in my book.

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Right.

00:16:26.171 --> 00:16:30.236
That's a win, and I love that you start your sessions like that.

00:16:30.241 --> 00:16:38.845
I think that is brilliant and I think that just helps your clients now to train to look for those things that go well during the week.

00:16:39.085 --> 00:16:39.715
It's awesome.

00:16:40.154 --> 00:16:48.774
when we're thinking about like dwelling on the negative and discounting the positive, another kind of word for that I think you use is overgeneralization, which is.

00:16:49.740 --> 00:16:51.809
It reminds me of the Lego movie song.

00:16:51.809 --> 00:16:54.360
Everything is Awesome right?

00:16:54.899 --> 00:17:06.660
But really we know that it's not actually what they're feeling, but just doing that over generalization, whether on the positive side or on the negative side, because sometimes we're just automatically how?

00:17:06.779 --> 00:17:07.500
How are things going?

00:17:07.500 --> 00:17:08.369
Fine, fine.

00:17:08.369 --> 00:17:09.269
Everything's great.

00:17:09.569 --> 00:17:12.500
Like that's an overgeneralization too, because.

00:17:12.593 --> 00:17:23.492
it's okay to be like, Oh, this is a rough day because of this and that, but How do you see Overgeneralization as one of those distorted thought patterns that leads to more anxiety?

00:17:24.103 --> 00:17:39.750
It's interesting because I was thinking about coming on this podcast and how many times have I, you know, made a goal, Okay, I'm gonna, lose 10 pounds and then I get on the scale and I gained two.

00:17:40.650 --> 00:17:43.470
And so that overgeneralization, you know what?

00:17:43.740 --> 00:17:46.589
I tried this once, it didn't work.

00:17:46.589 --> 00:17:50.970
So that's evidence that it's gonna happen over and over and over.

00:17:50.970 --> 00:17:54.567
You're never going to do that with anxiety.

00:17:54.567 --> 00:17:57.296
It's a constant, you know, it's telling yourself.

00:17:58.097 --> 00:18:01.566
Constantly Well, if it happened once, it's always going to happen.

00:18:01.895 --> 00:18:03.455
Oh, like it'll always be this

00:18:03.635 --> 00:18:03.875
it'll

00:18:03.935 --> 00:18:06.455
More of that Always never language.

00:18:06.756 --> 00:18:07.205
more.

00:18:07.211 --> 00:18:14.346
That always never language rejection is one of the biggest things, and I see this in young adults all the time.

00:18:14.422 --> 00:18:18.727
If I was rejected, Well, I'm always going to be rejected.

00:18:18.757 --> 00:18:20.616
Something's terribly wrong with me.

00:18:20.700 --> 00:18:24.869
It's gonna happen over and over and over again because it happened one time.

00:18:25.785 --> 00:18:26.204
Yeah.

00:18:26.255 --> 00:18:26.704
Yeah.

00:18:27.005 --> 00:18:34.505
And then we think things like, Well, I should or shouldn't, which is another one of those thoughts.

00:18:34.605 --> 00:18:37.805
Similar to like the always, never anytime where.

00:18:38.434 --> 00:18:39.845
Using that should language.

00:18:40.085 --> 00:18:43.714
A lot of times for my clients, I notice that that's like diet mentality, language.

00:18:43.714 --> 00:18:47.375
I shouldn't have this, I should eat more vegetables.

00:18:47.625 --> 00:18:52.000
Those kinds of statements and that also makes them anxious.

00:18:52.434 --> 00:18:56.845
It makes you very anxious because it puts so much pressure on.

00:18:57.230 --> 00:18:57.839
Mm-hmm.

00:18:58.009 --> 00:18:58.315
Right.

00:18:58.914 --> 00:19:00.714
I shouldn't be doing this.

00:19:00.835 --> 00:19:02.567
Well, okay, but you did

00:19:03.317 --> 00:19:03.877
Right.

00:19:04.307 --> 00:19:04.577
right?

00:19:04.998 --> 00:19:05.357
Okay.

00:19:05.363 --> 00:19:08.928
So telling yourself you shouldn't or you should.

00:19:08.928 --> 00:19:12.827
I love talking back to that, you know who said that you shouldn't.

00:19:13.228 --> 00:19:13.837
mm-hmm.

00:19:13.968 --> 00:19:16.907
Where is it written that says you shouldn.

00:19:17.181 --> 00:19:21.290
And a lot of times we just make these stories up in our heads.

00:19:21.290 --> 00:19:33.411
We have these high expectations, and one of the telltale signs of perfectionism and those who have chronic anxiety is those high expectations.

00:19:34.185 --> 00:19:34.796
Mm-hmm.

00:19:34.861 --> 00:19:35.431
Right?

00:19:35.871 --> 00:19:37.770
I shouldn't, I shouldn't do this.

00:19:37.830 --> 00:19:39.030
I should do, Why not?

00:19:39.151 --> 00:19:39.721
Why shouldn't.

00:19:41.103 --> 00:19:43.383
Yeah, it's such a good question to ask ourselves.

00:19:43.856 --> 00:19:51.352
I had a client yesterday that was worried about, an upcoming trip and what if this goes wrong and what if this goes badly?

00:19:51.352 --> 00:19:55.041
And I said, What if it goes better than you expected?

00:19:56.071 --> 00:19:57.652
And she was like, What?

00:19:59.231 --> 00:20:02.721
And so just like that, like why should it go bad?

00:20:03.231 --> 00:20:04.582
what if it goes well?

00:20:05.422 --> 00:20:11.346
like just to, to turn it around and say, what if I should actually do that thing?

00:20:12.336 --> 00:20:12.936
Yes.

00:20:13.207 --> 00:20:13.747
Yes.

00:20:13.807 --> 00:20:14.527
I love that.

00:20:14.531 --> 00:20:15.777
I love questioning.

00:20:15.967 --> 00:20:24.115
I think one of the biggest tools that I have found that has helped me with my anxiety is questioning.

00:20:25.535 --> 00:20:34.075
Questioning all those thoughts, you know, and it sounds like such a no brainer, but how many times do we believe our thoughts to be true?

00:20:34.164 --> 00:20:39.144
Do we believe that those stories that were telling us are the absolute truth

00:20:39.730 --> 00:20:40.869
I would say most of the time

00:20:41.154 --> 00:20:41.845
most of the time?

00:20:42.035 --> 00:20:42.434
Right.

00:20:42.934 --> 00:20:43.355
And

00:20:43.509 --> 00:20:45.460
if you don't have a, looking at your thoughts

00:20:45.734 --> 00:20:46.404
Exactly.

00:20:46.825 --> 00:20:52.674
And when I learned that you could actually question your thoughts what.

00:20:53.724 --> 00:21:00.434
You know, I love knowing that really the source of all of our problems really is our brain, right?

00:21:00.464 --> 00:21:11.811
If you think about it, it really is our brain, you know, Cause our brain offers us so many thousands of thoughts and, and if we just really believe those, all those thoughts to be true, we're toast.

00:21:12.547 --> 00:21:13.037
Yeah.

00:21:13.071 --> 00:21:18.707
But one of the biggest, biggest tools that I love is just questioning, you know, is this true?

00:21:18.707 --> 00:21:19.997
Is this a hundred percent?

00:21:21.632 --> 00:21:23.102
What else could be possible?

00:21:23.582 --> 00:21:27.541
Just like you asked your, well, what if you had the best time of your life?

00:21:28.757 --> 00:21:29.116
Yeah.

00:21:29.146 --> 00:21:30.737
What if everything does go right?

00:21:31.412 --> 00:21:34.211
What if it goes better than you even thought possible?

00:21:34.768 --> 00:21:41.857
So with that tool of questioning your thoughts, so you've listed a few, what if it goes better?

00:21:42.367 --> 00:21:43.567
What if that's not true?

00:21:45.008 --> 00:21:47.303
How could What else could be true?

00:21:47.333 --> 00:21:47.752
Okay.

00:21:48.323 --> 00:21:50.032
How else can you question your thoughts?

00:21:50.083 --> 00:21:51.282
What other ways do you do that?

00:21:52.006 --> 00:21:54.855
You know, What if nothing has gone wrong right here?

00:21:54.855 --> 00:21:56.955
What if this is exactly how it's supposed to be?

00:21:57.346 --> 00:21:59.836
you know, just what if this is true?

00:22:00.951 --> 00:22:01.561
Mm-hmm.

00:22:02.477 --> 00:22:12.257
I think it's interesting to explore both sides and questioning your thoughts really opens you up to seeing things in a different perspective.

00:22:13.096 --> 00:22:14.656
I like to think of it too.

00:22:15.751 --> 00:22:17.761
What's the rational response here?

00:22:18.332 --> 00:22:24.571
Because really those distorted thought patterns are irrational thinking patterns, right?

00:22:25.561 --> 00:22:30.008
So what would a rational person say to this what's the rational thing?

00:22:30.490 --> 00:22:40.799
And the other question that's really similar there is believing that that's, if something is true, and then just saying, So what, what if that is true from both angles?

00:22:40.799 --> 00:22:43.980
Like, and, and then what?

00:22:44.099 --> 00:22:47.819
And you get down to the point where you're like, Oh, it, I would just feel.

00:22:48.829 --> 00:22:49.575
that's what would happen.

00:22:49.964 --> 00:22:57.224
Cuz I would be embarrassed or I would have to spend more money, which would be uncomfortable.

00:22:57.224 --> 00:23:04.904
Like all, when we come down to it, it's like, it's probably just a feeling like I'm gonna feel something I don't wanna feel.

00:23:05.654 --> 00:23:08.625
So another option instead of asking like, is that really true?

00:23:08.625 --> 00:23:10.244
Like, what if it actually is true?

00:23:10.634 --> 00:23:11.355
So what?

00:23:12.325 --> 00:23:12.974
And then what?

00:23:14.204 --> 00:23:14.565
Yeah.

00:23:14.819 --> 00:23:15.119
what?

00:23:15.869 --> 00:23:21.359
And I love that because for so many years you know, I was trying to resist that anxiety.

00:23:21.359 --> 00:23:27.299
I was trying to just make it go away, make it go away, pretend that it will, if I ignored it, it would go away.

00:23:27.299 --> 00:23:27.750
Right?

00:23:28.920 --> 00:23:36.619
And then when I really stopped and acknowledge that, okay, this is what it is, and when I got

00:23:36.894 --> 00:23:39.950
like calling it out, like saying, Okay, I have anxiety.

00:23:40.684 --> 00:23:41.375
There it is.

00:23:41.464 --> 00:23:41.825
Okay.

00:23:42.365 --> 00:23:44.825
And then saying, Okay, so what?

00:23:45.417 --> 00:23:46.468
So what does that mean?

00:23:47.329 --> 00:23:48.460
And then what did you discover?

00:23:48.964 --> 00:23:57.575
And I discovered that all it means is that I have something that I am dealing with.

00:23:57.605 --> 00:24:02.555
And so now I get to decide what I wanna do about it.

00:24:03.545 --> 00:24:09.545
Do I want it to manage me or do I want to learn how to manage it?

00:24:10.355 --> 00:24:10.964
Mm-hmm.

00:24:11.319 --> 00:24:17.944
want it to define me or do I want to define who I am regardless of this?

00:24:18.914 --> 00:24:19.525
Mm-hmm.

00:24:20.285 --> 00:24:23.285
when you ask, Okay, so what, or now what?

00:24:24.255 --> 00:24:28.605
You know, I thought having anxiety, I was something it, I was.

00:24:29.545 --> 00:24:29.894
Mm.

00:24:30.045 --> 00:24:31.065
that, you know, I was

00:24:31.414 --> 00:24:31.734
Mm-hmm.

00:24:31.815 --> 00:24:33.055
.Something was wrong with you?

00:24:33.194 --> 00:24:33.795
was wrong.

00:24:34.035 --> 00:24:37.244
You know, it was just something that I have to deal with.

00:24:37.994 --> 00:24:46.275
And when I got over the fact that, oh, okay, so this is going to be my constant companion, maybe my whole life.

00:24:46.321 --> 00:24:54.913
I will tell you that now that I have worked through these tools and coaching was probably like the last piece of the puzzle that.

00:24:55.798 --> 00:24:56.939
Totally fit.

00:24:57.808 --> 00:25:07.709
And with all of these tools, I don't have near I, in fact, I would probably say 90% of the time I don't feel intense anxiety

00:25:08.588 --> 00:25:08.709
Hmm.

00:25:08.778 --> 00:25:09.628
That's amazing.

00:25:09.989 --> 00:25:21.391
But I was able to face it, acknowledge that it was there, allow it to be there, and then learn how to manage it so it didn't manage.

00:25:22.246 --> 00:25:25.425
Yeah, we should probably interject a little here too.

00:25:25.431 --> 00:25:30.492
This is, of course, these aren't tools for panic attack level anxiety.

00:25:31.042 --> 00:25:34.512
We're not talking about things that need medical treatment.

00:25:34.512 --> 00:25:35.363
We're talking about.

00:25:36.133 --> 00:25:47.502
Everyday anxiety that is just like you said, that little constant companion but is not so debilitating that we need to seek medical help.

00:25:47.502 --> 00:25:49.542
So let's, let's do be clear that

00:25:50.083 --> 00:25:50.353
Yes.

00:25:50.532 --> 00:25:56.778
And I am glad you said that because I'm a firm believer that there isn't just one right way of doing things.

00:25:57.857 --> 00:26:08.557
So if you do have those panic attacks, if you do have that chronic level, there is nothing wrong with seeking a professional therapist.

00:26:08.557 --> 00:26:12.787
There's nothing wrong with medication if that's what you choose to do.

00:26:13.386 --> 00:26:29.117
Coaching, I have done all of that and, but I will, I will tell you that the tools that I found in coaching helped me understand my anxiety in such a way that has given me.

00:26:29.250 --> 00:26:32.009
That desire to help other people too.

00:26:32.430 --> 00:26:34.450
But yes, you're absolutely right.

00:26:35.369 --> 00:26:55.159
And it can be if, you seek medical treatment with a licensed therapist or that, that sort of thing, or you are on medication, it doesn't discount the work you need to do with your brain as well so that it does go hand in hand these types of tools with medication or other, other help like that.

00:26:55.548 --> 00:26:56.419
Exactly.

00:26:56.429 --> 00:27:13.276
I work with a couple of clients right now who work with a therapist who are, you know, also taking anxiety medication and just having the coach piece too has given them so much more power over their anxiety, if you will.

00:27:13.276 --> 00:27:15.231
So they have all three pieces

00:27:15.371 --> 00:27:15.881
Perfect.

00:27:16.510 --> 00:27:18.550
What other, what other tools do you have?

00:27:18.601 --> 00:27:20.490
So we've talked about questioning your brain.

00:27:20.490 --> 00:27:23.398
We've talked about like listing your three wins.

00:27:23.404 --> 00:27:31.474
What other tools do you have that our listeners can start implementing right away to help with some of those anxious thoughts?

00:27:31.849 --> 00:27:52.460
One of the things that, one of the tools that has been huge for me and for my clients is really allowing that anxiety to be there or allowing whatever emotion it is, the discomfort, the disappointment to allow yourself to actually feel it, to acknowledge.

00:27:53.765 --> 00:27:56.134
So many times we want to resist it.

00:27:56.194 --> 00:27:58.474
We want to react to it, right?

00:27:58.474 --> 00:28:05.166
We want to just ignore it, push it down, you know, and, and go about, you know, distracting ourselves, right?

00:28:05.406 --> 00:28:16.840
But when you really face it, I like to think of it as, you know, I'm at a train a railroad crossing, and here comes an on train of emotions, and you've got the red.

00:28:17.681 --> 00:28:21.911
And you've got the arms that come down to tell you to do what?

00:28:22.840 --> 00:28:22.990
To

00:28:23.096 --> 00:28:23.455
To stop,

00:28:24.161 --> 00:28:24.701
right?

00:28:25.181 --> 00:28:43.480
And when I learned how to stop, instead of running away from my anxiety to stop and acknowledge that it was there, and just actually allow it, describe what it felt like in my body to get into my body and describe it in detail.

00:28:44.614 --> 00:28:56.074
One of the biggest tools to help me get grounded to help bring that piece back in because it opens up a lot of times we don't know why we're feeling anxious.

00:28:56.824 --> 00:28:56.959
Mm-hmm.

00:28:57.288 --> 00:28:57.709
Yeah.

00:28:57.844 --> 00:29:08.003
And until I actually face it, until I actually acknowledge that it's there, until I actually allow it to be there, my mind is not clear.

00:29:08.273 --> 00:29:15.703
But when I do allow it, it clears up my mind and then I can ask, okay, what is my anxiety trying to tell me

00:29:16.358 --> 00:29:16.969
Mm-hmm.

00:29:17.384 --> 00:29:20.180
And that has been a huge tool.

00:29:20.329 --> 00:29:22.430
Just what is it trying to tell me?

00:29:22.940 --> 00:29:32.721
Instead of being afraid of it, pretend like it's a friend that you're sitting next to and trying to understand, okay, what is it trying to tell me?

00:29:32.721 --> 00:29:36.411
And nine times out of 10, you are going to understand.

00:29:36.806 --> 00:29:41.215
What it is that's causing your anxiety and what it's telling you to.

00:29:41.462 --> 00:29:41.792
Awesome.

00:29:41.857 --> 00:29:43.951
That, that sounds so helpful.

00:29:44.011 --> 00:29:49.082
I think allowing our emotions is such a powerful thing to do.

00:29:49.082 --> 00:29:52.142
We talk, I talk about that with all kinds of different emotions.

00:29:52.142 --> 00:30:08.221
Allowing, allowing the urge or cravings to be present in our body and a lot of times, When I'm teaching this concept of allowing, then my clients or my listeners get confused and they think, Oh, I'm gonna allow myself to do this thing.

00:30:08.221 --> 00:30:12.122
I'm gonna allow myself to eat the brownie when I want the brownie.

00:30:12.126 --> 00:30:17.412
Like, that's allowing, but let's be clear that allowing means allowing the.

00:30:18.287 --> 00:30:23.326
Emotion to flood through our body without the need to solve for it.

00:30:23.866 --> 00:30:26.777
We don't need to either push it down.

00:30:27.106 --> 00:30:28.727
We don't need to eat the thing.

00:30:29.116 --> 00:30:31.366
We don't need to spin in the circles.

00:30:31.366 --> 00:30:45.957
Whatever the anxiety is telling us to worry about, we just can be anxious, be craving something, be disappointed, and actually move forward in our lives at the same time.

00:30:46.138 --> 00:30:46.699
Right.

00:30:46.699 --> 00:30:54.661
And what I have found is when we do allow those emotions to run through our bodies, Most of the time they dissipate

00:30:55.391 --> 00:30:55.615
Yeah.

00:30:56.421 --> 00:31:01.851
So I've seen research that says that emotions last somewhere between 60 and 90 seconds in the body.

00:31:02.211 --> 00:31:07.013
And when we're talking about that, we're talking about the the chemical reaction that comes from the thought.

00:31:07.013 --> 00:31:15.144
So Angela and I both teach the model, which as a quick review, we have circumstances, which are the facts, and then we have a thought about them.

00:31:15.144 --> 00:31:21.653
We give those facts, meaning, and then that creates a feeling or emotion in the body, which drives our actions.

00:31:22.178 --> 00:31:26.827
So if that emotion lasts for about 90 seconds, some people will say, Well, that's not true.

00:31:26.827 --> 00:31:27.998
I feel anxious all day.

00:31:28.417 --> 00:31:38.438
Would you say that's because they're having the same thought over and over and over, or is it because they're pushing that emotion down and not allowing it to come through their body?

00:31:39.153 --> 00:31:40.972
Actually, I think it has something to do with both.

00:31:40.996 --> 00:31:44.746
You know, we don't like to feel negative emotion.

00:31:46.096 --> 00:31:50.435
Whether it's anxiety, whether it's worry, whether it's any type of discomfort we don't like to feel.

00:31:50.556 --> 00:31:57.486
And what's interesting is that we spend all day running away from it or pushing it down.

00:31:57.486 --> 00:31:57.905
Right?

00:31:57.905 --> 00:31:58.596
And what happens?

00:31:58.596 --> 00:31:59.736
It just intensifies.

00:31:59.816 --> 00:32:07.105
It's like this little puppy that's following you around all day long, getting louder, barking louder, wanting your full attention all the time.

00:32:07.766 --> 00:32:09.596
If we just take that 90.

00:32:10.560 --> 00:32:19.035
To allow it to run through our bodies and understand what it feels like and understand how it feels in our body.

00:32:19.335 --> 00:32:22.362
Then usually it leaves our body.

00:32:22.662 --> 00:32:25.872
It really, I, I think about it, It just wants to be noticed.

00:32:26.481 --> 00:32:26.832
Mm.

00:32:27.011 --> 00:32:27.461
Yeah.

00:32:27.612 --> 00:32:29.501
emotions just wanna be notice.

00:32:30.717 --> 00:32:34.930
and when we can notice them, then we can understand them a whole lot better.

00:32:35.259 --> 00:32:38.339
And, you know, our bodies were made to feel

00:32:38.968 --> 00:32:39.567
Emotions.

00:32:39.567 --> 00:32:40.107
Yeah, for

00:32:40.212 --> 00:32:42.252
they were, and they know what to do with it.

00:32:42.762 --> 00:32:46.573
If we allow our bodies to do what it knows how to do.

00:32:47.262 --> 00:32:48.192
Yeah, for sure.

00:32:48.643 --> 00:32:49.633
So helpful.

00:32:49.663 --> 00:32:52.777
This actually this whole conversation has been so helpful.

00:32:52.777 --> 00:32:59.767
I think the work this week, if you want to do a little experiment on this episode, Is to try it.

00:32:59.767 --> 00:33:14.767
Because I think when we first hear this concept of allowing, if you're a person who does have a lot of anxiety or does have a lot of disappointment, or whatever the emotion is that kind of lives with you all the time, you think, Well, there's, that's not true.

00:33:14.767 --> 00:33:17.106
There's no way that that will work.

00:33:17.166 --> 00:33:18.997
But like, try it.

00:33:19.326 --> 00:33:26.916
Try and I think the, I think the buzzword on this in social media is feel your feelings, but this is how it's.

00:33:27.817 --> 00:33:31.747
Is to allow that emotion to be present in the body.

00:33:32.017 --> 00:33:36.663
And like Angela said, you describe it, you notice where it is, give it a name.

00:33:37.324 --> 00:33:45.574
And I think that was really powerful for you, you said in the beginning is when you just finally realize like, Oh, what this is that I feel all the time, it's called anxiety

00:33:45.778 --> 00:33:46.388
Mm-hmm.

00:33:46.911 --> 00:33:49.371
and then it's not this nebulous thing anymore.

00:33:49.371 --> 00:33:50.961
You're like, Oh, I have a name for it.

00:33:51.560 --> 00:33:54.471
And try, try to name that emotion that you're feeling.

00:33:55.205 --> 00:33:56.585
And just try it.

00:33:56.644 --> 00:34:07.055
Like, I would just challenge you guys to try it this week and see if you can create the experience of that emotion dissipating, because when that happens, it's pretty fantastic.

00:34:07.190 --> 00:34:08.000
is amazing.

00:34:08.005 --> 00:34:09.530
It is almost like magic,

00:34:09.945 --> 00:34:10.434
Yeah.

00:34:11.119 --> 00:34:11.480
so I

00:34:11.644 --> 00:34:17.045
Well, thank you so much for coming on and for sharing all of your wisdom.

00:34:17.045 --> 00:34:20.349
Do you have any last words that you wanna add here?

00:34:20.847 --> 00:34:22.467
No, I would just agree with you.

00:34:22.472 --> 00:34:23.818
I say try it.

00:34:23.818 --> 00:34:24.777
Try all of it.

00:34:24.777 --> 00:34:26.458
Try questioning your thoughts.

00:34:26.538 --> 00:34:28.757
try finding three positives.

00:34:28.807 --> 00:34:36.722
if you could find more, even better become your biggest fan, you know, and then allow those feelings to be there.

00:34:37.130 --> 00:34:37.730
Perfect.

00:34:38.059 --> 00:34:42.800
Well, can you tell people where they can connect with you or learn more about what you do?

00:34:43.250 --> 00:34:47.849
Yes, they can find me angelaadamscoaching.com.

00:34:48.829 --> 00:34:51.860
I also have a weekly podcast that comes out every Tuesday.

00:34:51.860 --> 00:34:58.704
It's called Embrace It All And I'm on Facebook and I'm on Instagram under Angela Adams coaching.

00:34:59.364 --> 00:34:59.753
Okay.

00:34:59.784 --> 00:35:02.664
Well, we'll put all those links in the show notes Of course.

00:35:02.753 --> 00:35:05.123
And thanks again for being here with us today.

00:35:05.543 --> 00:35:06.893
Thank you, Lisa, for having me.

00:35:06.893 --> 00:35:07.583
It was great.

00:35:10.791 --> 00:35:12.262
hey, thanks for listening today.

00:35:12.561 --> 00:35:17.742
If you're ready to get some personalized coaching from me, I'd encourage you to schedule a free strategy session.

00:35:18.411 --> 00:35:26.001
Visit www.wellwithlisa.as.me or it's easier just to find that link in the show notes.

00:35:26.331 --> 00:35:29.541
We'll talk about where you currently are with your weight loss goals.

00:35:29.782 --> 00:35:31.641
And I'll give you some actionable tools.

00:35:31.822 --> 00:35:33.882
You can start implementing right away.

00:35:34.590 --> 00:35:39.260
Before you go, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can receive new episodes, right when they're released.

00:35:39.650 --> 00:35:44.800
And if you're learning something new and enjoying the podcast, I'd love for you to leave me a five star rating and a review.

00:35:45.130 --> 00:35:50.480
Thanks again for joining me, Lisa Salisbury in this episode of Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well.
Angela Adams Profile Photo

Angela Adams

Anxiety Coach

I am a wife, (married to my sweetheart for 35 years), a mother of four, and grandmother of four, and a Certified Life Coach, coaching those who want to put a pause on their anxiety and learn how to understand it, manage it and even embrace it so they can love thier life and thrive. I am passionate about helping others become emotinally resilient. I have a BS Degree in Marriage and Family studies from BYU-Idaho and have worked as a Family Resource Coordinator through First Things First Arizona and Peoria Unified School District working with parents and families with the goal of helping them learn the skills they need to be successful in school and life.