Obstacles and Strategies Technique for Reaching Your Goals [Ep. 23]

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Hi, welcome back to the eat. Well think, well, The live well podcast, I'm Lisa Salsbury. And my mission is to help women stop obsessing about everything they eat and feel confident about their ability to lose weight without a diet app. This week, we're going to be talking about the obstacles and strategies to your new year's resolutions. I'm super excited to give you these unconventional ways. To reach your goals this year and get you started on your best year yet. If you have trouble reaching your goals or figuring out why things just don't go your way or why it always seems like things get in the way of you reaching your goals this episode is for you

Lisa: 0:40

Welcome to Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well; the podcast for women who want to lose weight, but are tired of counting and calculating all the food. I'm your host, Lisa Salsbury. I'm a certified health and weight loss coach and life coach, and most importantly a recovered chronic dieter. I'll teach you to figure out why you are eating when you aren't hungry, instead of worrying so much about what you are eating.

1:04

The new year is right around the corner. And I was going to say here, if you are a typical American, you have set some resolutions. But when I checked actually less than half of Americans set resolutions in 2022 about 41%. So I actually want you to be part of the minority here. I, I think this probably comes from the fact that most people don't achieve their goals. And so why bother setting them right. In fact studies show that somewhere around eight to 9% of those, that set resolutions actually achieve them. So today I want to talk about how to be even more, a part of that minority part of that 9%. That achieves their goals. So not only do I want you to set some and be part of the minority that sets them. But also, I want you to be even part of that smaller group of the ones that are successful. At the first session of every single new client that I take through my signature eat well live. Well think while coaching program, we set goals. I am going to talk you through how we do that. And some of my techniques for helping them achieve these goals. And I know this may be a topic you've heard before. Because of course it's the new year coming up. And so you've probably ear probably like, yep. I've heard this goals. I know how to set those, but stick with me because I'm going to give you a few unconventional strategies here. First, you have to know what you want. What are your biggest struggles right now? What are the things that you know, are not going as you wished they would go. Maybe that's your health, maybe it has to do with your scale weight or your movement exercise habits. The most common resolution that is set does have to do with our health and more specifically exercise or weight loss. I'll tell you the three most common goals for my clients, which is lose weight. I have more energy. And improve the quality of their diet, meaning like more vegetables, less eating out. That sort of thing is usually what's listed there. So you want to start with the goal and then you want to know what it will look like if you are successful. So I think this is a major problem to reaching goals is you weren't specific enough about what success looks like. So you don't really know if you're on track. You hear gurus, talk about setting specific smart goals. You'll hear that, but what I want you to do. More is to write down how you will know if you are successful. Which is just a little bit different here. Because when we look at what success looks like, then we want to compare that to your current status. So, where are you currently and what will success look like? So if you have something very objective, like scale weight, It's not hard to see where you are now and what your goal weight is. That's just math and it's not difficult. You just get on the scale and it spits out a number for you. Easy. Similarly, if you want to say lift weights three times a week, and you're currently lifting zero times per week. Again, that's objective. You can look at your calendar and see what's happening. Again, our calendar is also kind of like math. But if your goal is more subjective, such as increasing your energy, improving the quality of your diet. You'll need a different way to measure because. A lot of times we think, oh yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to improve my energy, but then we are still a little bit tired. And so we think, oh, it didn't work. So you need a way to measure. So I frequently suggest a one to 10 scale. So maybe one is you can't get out of bed all day or you need several caffeinated, drinks and naps to make it through the day. And 10 is the perfect amount of energy. You don't need any coffee or naps, and you're just ready to fall asleep at bedtime. So give yourself a number on that scale. Maybe you figure you're about a, say a four on that scale currently, and then you decide, okay. In 12 weeks, I think I could be at a six. And then in six months I'd like to be at an eight or, you know, whatever you decide. I wouldn't recommend expecting yourself to be at a 10 in just a few weeks, because these things take time to alter. You can use this type of scale also with other subjective things like the quality of your diet. I've done this with clients that say they just want to eat healthier. But everybody's idea of quote unquote, a healthy diet sort of looks different. So I asked them to rate their current eating habits, and then we have an aim again for the end of our 12 weeks together of where they want to be. I think writing down where you currently are, is just as important as deciding where you want to be. Because if you make small incremental changes, as my clients do, sometimes the progress is so slow yet steady. That they don't see it until we look back at where we started. Plus probably the most important reason I like to write down both, both the, where we're going and where we are is we just are good at remembering. So do yourself a favor, write down where you're starting from so you can see all your progress. Because if your aim is to be say at a six on energy level, you're still going to be experiencing some fatigue. Right. And so you'll think, oh, I'm still tired. But when you look back and you realize, oh, I'm rating myself at a six now that's actually better than when I was writing myself at a four. I am making progress. So don't depend on your memory to remember exactly how you were feeling 6, 12, 16 weeks ago. Okay. Step two. Is to break it down into more manageable goals, like a two week plan. This is also a typical strategy. You know, you're going to think big picture, like say total pounds lost in a year, but also break it down into how we are going to get there. The practical day-to-day stuff. So what can I accomplish in the next two weeks? You could make a monthly plan for your yearly resolutions. I tend to work in 12 week segments because that's how long my coaching programs run. So for example, many of my clients set a total weight loss goal and then a 12 week goal because they have maybe more weight to lose than what we can safely accomplish in 12 weeks. So you might also decide your two week goal for improving the health of your diet is something like I'm going to try one new vegetable every two weeks or one new recipe with chicken in it each week. So, if you have a movement-based school, you don't want to hit the gym six days a week, right out of the gate. You will burn out and be so sore. You can't go back. So you want to have a plan for increasing your movement each week. How many days this week can I commit to? And then how many days next week you might have the same number of. Of days per week for several weeks and then increase after three or four weeks work up to your ultimate goal. Okay. The next step is where I get a little more unconventional. But this is really the meat of the episode here. I want you to write down all the ways. This won't work. I call these the obstacles. Literally, I want you to just let your lower brain offer you all the ways you failed in the past. All the reasons there is no way you can do this. This actually improves motivation in the long run. I know that sounds completely counterintuitive, but thinking about all the ways. You are going to fail. Actually is like coming up with a plan B. And a plan C et cetera. When the boat is sinking, you want to already know where the life jackets are. You want to know what the plan is? If things go wrong. In a stressful moment. That's not really the time you want to be deciding what the best course of action is. And I want to be clear on what I am working towards, how I'm going to get there and what I'm going to do. If X, Y, Z comes up. So you write down the obstacles and then they key here is you list all the strategies for how you can overcome these. I talk about the higher brain versus lower brain in regards to planning and setting goals. And this is truly the higher brain at its finest because in the moment of the obstacle, you are going to be stressed, tired out of time. your lower brain will jump in with, see, I told you this wouldn't work and then offer you some solutions that aren't really in your best interest that really aren't going to help you reach your goals. But if you will already come up with a plan with your higher brain that has your best interest in mind. You will actually know what to do. So this actually helps you get prepared. I want you to already have the next step in place. So you can just hop right to it. The truth is we don't do our best thinking in crisis mode, or even when we are just put on the spot. But you don't have to, if you've already employed your higher brain to come up with these strategies. So this feels like you're setting yourself up for disaster to focus on all the ways this won't work. But I promise this is actually a proven technique. I actually heard this on us, this story on a podcast and I looked it up and it is true. So I want to share it with you as well. In fact, I had just done an obstacle and strategy session with a client when I heard this episode on a fairly unrelated podcast of mine. So I was like, yes, this is a perfect example. So think back to the 2008 Beijing summer Olympics. Michael Phelps had just won seven gold medals and he had one race to go. So this would be record-setting to win eight gold medals in a single Olympics. And this final race was the 200 fly. 200 flight was totally his thing. His specialty. This should have been like a walk in the park for him. Like a no brainer. But as soon as he dove into the pool, His goggles started to leak. And by the time he was on his third length, he was swimming completely blind. So this is four lengths of the pool. So he's doing his turn at that third coming back on the fourth length and he could not see at all. And I actually did swim quite a bit. In high school and even a tiny bit in college. And I will say that swimming with goggles that are leaking and full of water can be super distracting. But he had imagined this obstacle in advance. So not only had he come up with this obstacle, being a possibility. But he had also come up with strategies to this issue. So he and his coach together had practiced for this. his coach would take us goggles and more routine events or in practice. He would mess with them right before Michael. so not only did they discuss this being a possibility. He actually knew what to do because he had practiced. With this obstacle. So he had decided with his coach when my goggles leak, which is the obstacle, I will count my strokes and there is the strategy. He knew exactly how many strokes it would take for him to get from one end of the pool, to the other. And spoiler alert. If you weren't watching, he won that race and set the record of eight gold medals. So we can do exactly this same thing. I actually have a client who was going to be heading to Italy. She had a trip planned and she was like, there's going to be so much pasta. Like, what am I going to do? We actually practiced. With pasta at home and at restaurants at home before she was in Italy. So she would know exactly what to do. How can I pay attention to my hunger scale when I am eating something that I love so much like pasta? I can't remember now all of her strategies because it's been several months ago now, but I think some of them are a to eat half if it was a restaurant portion or to dish herself up less to pay attention to each, by all of those kinds of strategies. I talk about with my clients with the hunger scale. So we actually did practice though, with the particular type of food she felt would be an obstacle for her. And incidentally, she came back from that six week trip down four pounds. Let's look at some examples of obstacles and we will say the goal is to lose weight. So your list might look something like this. I don't have time to plan meals. It's hard for me to lose weight because of my age. I will be tired if I wake up early to exercise. My husband, won't be supportive of my change. My kids won't eat the food I want to eat. I like going out to dinner with friends. Tax season is stressful. my coworkers invite me out to lunch every day. I like eating at night after dinner. These are actually real examples from real clients of mine, not all from the same client, kind of a mashup, but we look at these obstacles then, and we decide what we're going to do in each situation. I'm not going to go through strategies for each of these particular examples, because your list will be so personal to you. It's going to look different and your strategies will also look different. But what I want to give you is the general categories of what your strategies will probably look like. Your strategies will generally fall into three categories So number one, and this is actually the most common is these obstacles or problems are actually thought problems. And we can put those through the self coaching model or get help from an actual coach, such as myself in working through that. Thought and perhaps even changing it to a thought you would prefer to have. This would be applicable for the obstacle. I like going out to dinner with friends. We would use coaching as a strategy here, because we would want to know why this is a problem. And then coach around those issues. So you might say, well, I overeat when I go out to dinner with friends. Okay. So the strategy then would be to pay attention to the hunger scale. And maybe to the people you are with rather than to eating everything on the plate. That's actually a really common strategy that I use when the issue is when you're eating with other people, is that you concentrate on paying attention to the company you are with rather than worrying about everything that's on your plate, but the coaching would look different for each person because I don't know what your thoughts are or why your brain thinks this is an obstacle. But this one is definitely a thought. I like going out to dinner with friends. It's a thought. That this is an obstacle to losing weight because you can be out to dinner with friends and look around and see many, many people that appear to be. At their natural weight. I'm not talking about really thin models here. This is not a body checking or seeing if you were thinner or, or bigger than someone else. The point is that you can find evidence that people do go out to dinner and maintain a weight that feels comfortable to them. And so that's how you can gain evidence that this one is a thought. And your brain is like, well, I won't be able to lose weight if I go out to dinner with friends. And so we need to get to the bottom of that thought and why your brain thinks that would be an obstacle second, you may find obstacles that require some actions. So as opposed to the thought problems you It might be an action-based problem. These things maybe need to be complained for or committed to on a calendar. This would be applicable for the obstacle. I don't have time to plan my meals. If losing weight is part of your goals, and you will need to have food that works for you on hand. At home. This is something we need to plan on the calendar and commit to. right now you're thinking you don't have time because you haven't done it before. So it's an obstacle to reaching the goals. So the strategy is to plan a time on the calendar to make planning meals and shopping a priority. The strategy might also include having some go-to meals that can be made with all pantry items. So if you find yourself not planning the meals, You still have something on hand that will keep you on track with your goals. And if you don't know what go-to meals are, I do have a free ebook to help you plan your go-to meals. I'll put that link in the show notes go-to meals can really help you stay on track. So that would be a really good strategy here. If you feel like time is a, is an issue for you. You might also decide that your strategy includes subscribing to a meal delivery service. Or you start to order groceries for pickup. All kinds of ways we can make it fit into our calendars. So you see how we can. Really brainstorm different ways. Two. Alleviate the time being a factor. So see how these also are more action-based strategies than the first, one of the thought based problems. Although time can be a thought based problem because time is a construct. This is one that we can really do more of the action-based strategies around. Third, some of these obstacles are actually just lies that should be released and let go of. That would be applicable for the thought. It's hard for me to lose weight because of my age. Your brain will remind you about all the articles you've read about menopause, weight gain, and how losing weight after a certain age is difficult. But we can find plenty of women who are successful in their forties and fifties and beyond. So the strategy here is to actually just release this as a lie. This thought just isn't serving you. You can just decide it's simply not true. And when it comes up again, the strategy is simply to remind yourself it's a lie and you don't believe it anymore. This is different than the first one, which I said is a thought based problem. Although lies are thought based problem. We don't actually need to run them through the model or get coaching on them as far as trying to change them. If they're a lie, they're a lie. We just can release them. Even though they'll come up time and time again, because we don't just decide something's a lie and then have our brain be like, oh, you're right. I'll just never offer that to you again, of course, it's going to offer it to you. Of course. Your lower brain is going to offer that to you. But you can just remind your, your brain, not a problem here. That's just not true. I often find several lies in my client list of obstacles. So don't be afraid to really question the things that come up for you when you're writing your obstacle list. Now that isn't to say that your brain doesn't think they are real or that I don't want you to feel like I'm dismissing what you're saying. Like, oh, that's not important. It's just not true. I rather, you just want to get really honest and question your brain really just don't believe everything. It offers you. It's awesome to get all that stuff out on paper though. So you can really see where the problems live. So, those are the ways we're going to attack and come up with strategies to all of the obstacles. I really encourage you to do this process. It is highly motivating to have more of a plan because we find that we just set the goal and decide, okay, I'm going to go to the gym, but we don't decide what to do when our alarm doesn't go off. We don't decide what to do when we have to stay up late. And we're tired. We've got to make these decisions ahead of time. So when those obstacles come up, when you get invited to a lunch that you weren't planning on, you need to have a strategy for what you're going to do made with your upper brain. So I'd love to help you through this process of setting goals and figuring out all of your obstacles and strategies. Since coaching can be a very effective strategy in overcoming some of your obstacles. I would love for you to schedule a time on my calendar for your free call. Coincidentally, they are called free strategy sessions. We don't go over this whole process in those calls, but rather we see where you are currently and I give you some coaching along the way and you get to decide if my eat well think. Well live well coaching program is the perfect fit for you. And that is where we would go through this entire process. I can help you release overwhelm with the obstacles to your goals by helping you plan. Question your thoughts and strategize for success. We can come up with answers to each and every one of these problems that your brain presents and this can become extremely motivating and help you reach your goals. All right. Talk to you soon.

Lisa: 21:53

hey, thanks for listening today. If you're ready to get some personalized coaching from me, I'd encourage you to schedule a free strategy session. Visit www.wellwithlisa.as.me or it's easier just to find that link in the show notes. We'll talk about where you currently are with your weight loss goals. And I'll give you some actionable tools. You can start implementing right away. Thanks again for joining me, Lisa Salisbury in this episode of Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well.